Kung Fu Panda: Tournament of Legends
by Berserker88
Summary: The famed Wu Xing Tournament has come to the Valley of Peace. Thrust into the heat of competition, Po and the Five find themselves pit against a whole plethora of new rivals aiming to dethrone them, along with a shapeshifting Japanese spy who has his sights set on more than just prize money.
1. Prologue: Arrival

_It's finally time for me to get back to the KFP fandom._

 _T_ _his story is one I've had planned for a long, LONG time, and now that I'm done with everything else I wanted to do first, I can actually get to writing it. Not much else to say, except that this isn't going to be tied to my other stories at all aside from a few slight references here and there. This is actually going to be about the main cast for once too. Shocking, I know._

 _Enjoy._

* * *

Prologue: Arrival

It wouldn't be long now.

The black koi fish swam furiously through the waters, keeping his distance from the other aquatic wildlife that passed him by. He stayed focused on his set path, busily navigating the currents to continue ever closer to his destination. Every now and then, he would poke his head up out of the water to check his surroundings. There wasn't much to see aside from _more_ water, but he wanted to make sure he was not being followed. Naturally, he kept a close eye on his surroundings below sea level as well. He was being paranoid perhaps, but this mission was too important to take any chances.

It had been a long journey, about ten days now by his estimation, but he was able to sustain himself on kelp and algae from the ocean floor. As much as he hated seafood, he had little choice in the matter. He at least knew he was getting close when he spotted the shadow of a boat passing by overhead. It was a small boat, not the kind that could hope to last very long on the open sea. Yes, he must be close to shore now. He lifted his head out of the water again and spotted a small coastal village off in the distance.

He had finally reached land, but it was too risky to emerge just yet. The koi broke off from the waters surrounding the village and continued swimming around the perimeter of the shore for several more minutes. When he was certain that no one was around to see him, he dove deep below the surface of the water, then shot back up. When he breached the surface, the koi was no longer a koi.

Instead, it was a red-crowned crane that soared out of the water, shaking the wetness from his feathers as he took off into the sky. He was flying over a forest now, and quickly regained his bearings to make up for the slight detour. The aerial part of his journey was much shorter, though he had to be more wary now, staying low to avoid detection. There were multiple points where he had to change course to stay out of sight of a village or caravan, which he estimated added more than a day to the trip. No great loss. He still had approximately fifteen days, six hours, and twenty-four minutes to get into position.

He would need significantly less than that.

As the crane came into view of more large-scale civilization, he decided that staying in the sky any longer posed too great a risk of being spotted. He abruptly dove into the trees and glided downwards. When he touched the ground, he was a rat.

The rat form slowed him considerably, but he would gladly sacrifice speed for stealth. Rats weren't especially uncommon in this part of the world, but they were just uncommon enough to draw attention that he didn't need. He ran like this for several hours straight, no longer bothering to stop for food. His metabolism had always been "different" from other individuals, and that served him well on assignments such as this. He did not grow hungry again.

He soon found that he could run no further. The ground had ended and what sprawled before him now was a vast abyss. The only way across was a long rope bridge, which connected to several more in the distance. No doubt this was what those in China knew as the Thread of Hope, the only safe passage into the Valley of Peace. No doubt such a place was heavily monitored. He could not cross just yet.

His tiny ears picked up sound from behind him, and he quickly scurried behind a large rock. A pig emerged from the trees, dragging a wagon behind him. He was clearly nervous about the prospect of crossing the bridge with his goods, so nervous that he took no notice of the rat climbing into the back of the wagon and concealing himself under his wares.

The rat took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what was to come, as he was carried the rest of the way to his destination.


	2. Chapter 1: Visitors

_Glad to see people are already interested so far. I decided to get the first chapter out quickly since that prologue was so short. Don't worry, the actual chapters will be longer._

 _I've also decided to start including footnotes, which will explain things like the meaning of character names and other interesting tidbits that would spoil that chapter if I put them up here._

* * *

Chapter 1: Visitors

Something was wrong.

That was the thought going through the mind of every warrior at the Jade Palace. None of them could really put a finger on what exactly this "something" was though. There were no bandits lurking around, no giant demons wreaking havoc, no tyrannical warlord coming to wipe them off the map. Indeed, the Valley of Peace seemed to actually be living up to its name for once.

And yet, something was wrong. They were all certain of it.

No single event had caused this strange, unyielding feeling. Rather, it was a series of anomalies that each of them had witnessed over the course of the day.

The first was during Master Crane's aerial patrol of the Valley. He had taken his usual route around the perimeter, monitoring the villages and citizens below for any sign of trouble. There was none to be found. What he did find was two other cranes flying up to intercept him as he flew towards the western end of the Valley. The only other cranes he knew of in the Valley were those of the Chih Kuan Crane Clan, who built and watched over the Thread of Hope. These two were not members of that clan. Their light armor and bladed talons made them look more like members of the Imperial Army, which is exactly what they claimed themselves to be.

"Is that so?" Crane had asked, naturally skeptical.

"Indeed. We've been given rights to patrol this part of the Valley," one of them said. He turned to his partner. "The mandate?"

The other crane nodded and reached up with his talons to grab a roll of parchment off of his side. He unfurled it with his other set of talons, displaying the parchment to Crane.

"Hmm..." Crane looked the document over carefully, but could find nothing wrong with it. "This is an official mandate to patrol here all right," he admitted. "Doesn't say why though."

"Sorry sir, that part is strictly confidential," he said, rolling the mandate back up. "Though I suspect you'll find out soon enough."

"What does that mean?"

He got no response as the two cranes had already flown off again.

And so Crane turned around, knowing that the Imperial Army was now guarding the Valley, but having no idea why.

* * *

While this was going on, Masters Mantis and Viper were on their own patrol. Being landbound, they got quite a bit more attention from the citizens of the Valley than Crane, but remained focused on their task. Even if they did stop to wave occasionally. No need to be rude.

While Viper was giving an affectionate greeting to a young goat, she noticed Mantis suddenly freeze on the spot, staring at something ahead of them. She assumed that he had spotted some kind of trouble, but when she looked herself, she realized that he was just dumbfounded. There was a small group of rhinos ahead of them, the kind that she recognized as belonging to the Imperial Army. Except that they didn't appear to be stopping intruders or doing anything else that they would associate with the Imperial Army.

"Are they...cleaning?" Viper asked in disbelief. Indeed, this platoon of heavily armed, Imperial warriors, appeared to be busily cleaning the streets and buildings of the Valley of Peace.

"Yeah, that's kinda freaky," Mantis said, still frozen on the spot.

Viper recovered first and slithered over to them, tapping one window-washing rhino on the shoulder. "Excuse me, might I ask what you guys are doing?"

The rhino blinked, as if unsure how to answer. "Oh, you know, we're just tidying the Valley up a bit. Making sure it looks nice for...uhh..." He trailed off nervously.

"Looks nice for what?" Mantis joined in.

"Uhh...on second thought, I gotta get going." He turned and ran off faster than any rhino they had ever seen. Seeing their companion flee, the other rhinos noticed Mantis and Viper, and booked it as well.

The street was left both clean and empty, with the exception of two very confused kung fu masters.

* * *

But what really brought it all to a head was the incident at Dragon Warrior Noodles & Tofu.

Po Ping, the Dragon Warrior himself, emerged from the kitchen, delivering bowls to the ever-present sea of customers at the restaurant. Among them were Master Monkey and Master Tigress, the former ordering a huge noodle bowl with a side of dumplings and the latter settling for just a small serving of tofu and soup.

"Come on Tigress, can't you branch out a little?" Po asked pleadingly. "We've got a great sale on bean buns today."

"This will suffice," she replied, taking a sip of her soup. "A true warrior-"

"-can live off the dew of the universe, I know."

"Give it up, Po," Monkey laughed. "Frankly, it's a miracle you even got her to eat here regularly." Tigress took another sip and Po gave a great sigh of resignation.

This was not the incident. The incident was what happened next.

"Ah, new customers!" Mr. Ping shouted excitedly from behind them. The three masters all looked up as a pair of individuals entered the restaurant. "New" was right. They had never seen either of these people before.

The first was a cheetah with light blue eyes and a matching vest. His spotted arms were stuffed into the pockets of a pair of navy blue pants held up by a white sash. He wore no shoes, but had bandages wrapped firmly around his feet, leaving his toes exposed. Most distinctly, a pair of goggles sat on the top of his head. The smile on his face practically oozed confidence.

Coming in behind him was a creature they were not familiar with, a Chinese pangolin. He was about half Po's size, which was freakishly huge for a pangolin, and stared calmly with dark brown eyes. He wore barely any clothing as most of his body was already covered in overlapping scales. Only on his most vulnerable spot, his underbelly, did he wear a plate of armor. While clearly a defensive fighter, his long claws didn't look like they were just for show either.

The two strangers paid complete indifference to the Jade Palace masters and sat themselves down a few tables away. They didn't really know how to respond to this, but Mr. Ping sure did as he immediately ran over to collect their orders.

"I think I'll have to try that 'Secret Ingredient Soup' I've heard so much about," the cheetah said, barely looking at him.

"Soup," the pangolin muttered as well.

"All right then. Po!"

The panda snapped to attention. "Y-Yes Dad?"

"Go whip up two bowls of Secret Ingredient Soup for our new guests! Chop chop!"

Po looked back and forth between the strangers and his friends staring at them distrustfully. "Uh...I'm not sure that's a good-"

"Po!"

"Okay, okay!" Po hurriedly rushed back into the kitchen, praying to the gods that nothing would be broken when he came back out.

At first, it seemed like that might be the case. Neither of the two strangers spoke up, so Monkey wisely decided that he should say something before Tigress did. "So...who are you guys?"

The cheetah smiled back at him. "The name's Kuai. Mr. Talkative here is Dun."

"Greetings," the pangolin nodded.

Monkey gave a respectful bow. "Nice to meet you. I'm-"

"-Master Monkey of course. And Master Tigress too. How could we not know of the honorable masters of the Jade Palace?" His words seemed polite enough, but there was an unmistakable sneer in his tone.

Tigress gave a low growl. "You didn't answer the question. We got your names, now what are you doing here?"

"We're competing," Dun said simply.

"Competing in what?"

There was a long pause, during which most of the other patrons vacated the building. They knew better than to stick around for this.

The silence was eventually broken by a stifled laugh from Kuai. He tried to stifle another, failed, and burst out in hysterics. "Hahahahaha! Are you serious?! You don't know? You...you guys freaking live here and you don't know?! That's hilarious!"

"Amusing. Yes," Dun agreed.

Any hint of politeness from Kuai was gone, as was any hint of patience from Master Tigress. "I suggest you tell us what you're talking about," she snarled, "before I come over there and make you!"

He stopped laughing. "I'd like to see you try." Anyone else still in the restaurant was gone after that.

Tigress stomped over to his seat and attempted to grab Kuai by the arm. Before she could, he suddenly disappeared in a blur. "What the-?"

"Tigress, look out!" Monkey yelled.

Tigress felt her own arm being grabbed and forced behind her back as Kuai reappeared behind her. "Too slow," he smirked. Tigress's head whipped up and slammed into his nose, making him cry out and stagger back. She threw a punch at his head, but he ducked under it and struck her with a kick, making her fly back and crash onto another table.

As Monkey was about to step in, he saw Dun rise from his own seat and face him. "Hey now, I don't want to fight you."

"Shame." Dun curled up into a ball and shot forward with frightening speed. Monkey gave a screech and jumped over the rolling pangolin, who crashed into a stack of vegetable crates in the corner. Dun was unharmed, and as he uncurled himself to turn around, Monkey took the chance to launch a hard kick at his side.

Not his smartest idea in hindsight.

"OW! Owowowowow!" Monkey hopped up and down on one foot, clutching his throbbing toes. "What are you made of?! Iron?!"

He sniffed. "Pretty much."

Tigress and Monkey both recovered quickly and stared down their opponents, who likewise readied themselves.

"Order up!"

A pair of projectiles flew from the kitchen and nailed Kuai and Dun in the face. "Two bowls of Secret Ingredient Soup, Dragon Warrior style! Consider yourselves served!" Po announced as he crossed his arms heroically.

"Po, that is no way to treat our customers!" Mr. Ping yelled from behind him.

"It's okay Dad, I don't think they were going to pay."

"In that case, hit them harder next time!"

Dun's bowl slowly fell from his face and the pangolin reached out with his long tongue to sample some of the soup stuck to him. "...Tasty."

Kuai was not so amused as he violently yanked off the bowl and threw it to the ground. "Why you little-!"

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned around to see a furious Grandmaster Shifu standing in the doorway. No force in the universe was powerful enough to withstand the red panda's glare and so they all just stood there as he surveyed the scene. Finally, he turned to Kuai and Dun. "You two, get out." They gulped simultaneously and were both out of the restaurant in seconds.

"But Master-" Tigress started to protest, but he cut her off with a raised paw.

"I know. You were only trying to protect the Valley. It was a noble effort, but a misguided one. You see-"

"Master!" Crane came soaring out of the sky and landed in the middle of the shop with them. "I have something strange to report. The Imperial Army has sanctioned off the western part of the Valley and they claim it to be under their protection now. Do you know anything about this?"

"Well yes, I-"

"Master!" Viper and Mantis crawled into the entrance behind him.

"We have something strange to report as well. We saw this group of rhinos from the Imperial Army cleaning the streets in the southern district," Viper explained.

"Seriously? Cleaning?" Po asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it was really weird," Mantis said. "You should've seen it. They-"

"Alright, enough!" Shifu yelled again. He sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I was going to explain this to you all after dinner, but clearly that was an error on my part. Let's go back to the Jade Palace. I will answer all of your questions there."

He turned around and walked out the door. Po and the Five all exchanged curious looks with each other, then followed after their master.

* * *

 _"Kuai" is Chinese for "fast". What better name for a cheetah? Note that it's pronounced as one syllable, like "Kwi"._

 _"Dun" means "shield", in reference to his defensive plating. Don't ask where I got his weird speech pattern from. It's just something I randomly came up with._


	3. Chapter 2: A New Challenge

_Just a warning, there's going to be a couple more exposition chapters before the tournament gets under way. I know that's what most of you are probably waiting for. Be patient. :)_

* * *

Chapter 2: A New Challenge

Shifu came to a stop in the Hall of Warriors, a fitting place for this explanation. His students all stopped with him, waiting patiently for him to start. He couldn't believe such chaos had erupted at the noodle shop because of this. Yes, he definitely should have brought this up sooner.

He cleared his throat. "I know you are all eager for some answers, so I'll be blunt. The reason for all of these odd occurrences throughout the Valley is that we are about to become host to a very special event: The Wu Xing Tournament."

All of his students perked up at the word 'tournament', though he could tell from their expressions that none of them knew what this actually entailed.

None of them except Po of course. "WOOOOOOOOOO! The Wu Xing Tournament?! Here?! That's so awesome!"

"You are familiar with it?" Tigress asked.

"Why am I not surprised?" Mantis rolled his eyes.

Shifu cleared his throat again, louder. Po squeaked out a small 'sorry' and quieted down. "As the Dragon Warrior so eloquently put, this tournament is a very important event, taking place only once every fifty years. Great warriors from all across China are coming here just to compete in it."

"Is it really that special?" Monkey asked. "I mean, we've all been in tournaments before. They're no big deal." Po looked at him like he had just committed some great sacrilege, but remained silent.

"This is no ordinary tournament, Master Monkey," Shifu explained. "It is not simply about outfighting your opponents. You see, the tournament is comprised of five trials, each based on one of the Wu Xing elements: Wood, Water, Metal, Fire, and Earth. In each trial, a set number of competitors will advance while the rest are eliminated. In the end, only one will remain to claim the title of Wu Xing Champion."

He paused for a moment to let all of this sink in. His students were already starting to look more intrigued. "In addition to the immense fame and honor this title brings, the champion will also receive a cash prize of 1,000,000 yuan."

Everyone's jaw dropped. Yes, even Tigress's "O-One _million?!"_ Mantis stammered. "Man, there's a lot of things a guy can buy with that."

"If any of you were to win the tournament, I would of course expect you to use the money _responsibly,"_ Shifu emphasized.

Mantis bowed his head. "Yes Master…"

"What can anyone even do with that much money anyway?" Tigress crossed her arms.

"So are you going to enter?" Po asked.

"Of course I am. But I'm doing it to test my skills, not for some stupid prize money."

"Just to be clear," Shifu continued, "whether or not you enter the tournament is entirely up to you. I cannot force you into such a decision." By the looks of things, no force would've been needed anyway. He couldn't help but smile at his students' enthusiasm as they started eagerly chattering amongst themselves.

"One last thing. As some of you have noticed, the Imperial Army has taken a vested interest in this tournament. This is because it is customary for the Emperor himself to oversee the events."

The chattering stopped instantly. "...The Emperor?" Crane asked, astonished.

"Yes, and I suspect that he intends to pay a visit to the Jade Palace before the start of the tournament, so I expect all of you to be on your best behavior." He shot a pointed glare at each of them, though noticeably lingered on Po a bit longer. "That is all. The Wu Xing Tournament begins in two weeks time for those of you who wish to enter. You are dismissed."

It didn't surprise him in the slightest when every single one of his students headed straight for the training hall.

* * *

Somehow, the hall became even more chaotic than usual. The Jade Palace masters, knowing that they would have to compete against many talented opponents, including each other, paired themselves off and started sparring intensely.

Crane and Monkey were at the top of the room, trying to outmaneuver each other around the Seven-Talon Rings. Viper and Mantis were below on the Field of Fiery Death, battling both the flames and each other. And in the middle of it all, Po and Tigress sparred atop the Jade Tortoise. To everyone's surprise, the panda was actually doing a pretty good job keeping his balance. That was good, because Tigress rarely went easy on him before and she sure as hell wasn't doing it now.

"Yipe!" Po cried out as he dodged away from a sweeping kick, struggling to maintain his footing on the metal rim.

"Focus panda!" Tigress leapt behind him and kicked him in the back. Po fell into the center of the tortoise, rolled up onto the other side, and managed to land back on his feet again.

He was doing anything but focusing right now. His mind was still swimming with the thoughts of competing in one of the most famous kung fu tournaments in history. Him! The guy who once thought he would be stuck as a noodle chef his whole life. And 1,000,000 yuan too. He couldn't even imagine what his dad would do with all that money. Probably add wings to the shop or something. Now _that_ would be cool.

"I said FOCUS!" Purely on reflex, Po blocked Tigress's punch and bounced her away a bit with his belly.

"Right right, sorry."

"Daydreaming about the tournament is not going to help you win it," she said, narrowing her eyes. "Not as long as you have me to deal with."

"Don't worry, I gotcha." Po put on his game face and crouched into his stance. "Bring it."

She smiled. "Now that's more like it." She pulled back her fist and struck again.

The masters clashed like this for the entire rest of the afternoon, and well into the evening.

* * *

After several long hours of training, and a good soak in the bathhouse to wash off the resulting stink, everyone settled down into the kitchen for dinner. As usual, Po took on the role of chef and passed everyone a bowl of Secret Ingredient Soup, along with one large plate of steamed dumplings in the middle. "I felt bad letting those other bowls of soup go to waste, so I made twice as much. Eat up!"

They all ate in silence for a few minutes, but it was inevitable that someone was going to bring up the tournament sooner or later. Surprisingly, it wasn't Po. "So, be honest guys, what would you do with the money if you won?" Mantis asked, having not learned his lesson. "Me? I think I'll get myself some fancy gifts. Maybe even impress a girl, so she'll one day eat my head." He sighed romantically.

Crane shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think I might donate most of it to Lee Da Academy, and spend the rest on new calligraphy supplies."

"I would _love_ to donate it to my old hometown," Viper smiled. "My father could do so much good for the people there."

"My mother could use it too. She's been getting pretty sick lately," Monkey said, a bit sadly. "What about you, Po? What did you come up with?"

Po froze on the spot, his mouth stuffed full of dumplings. "Uh...flying noodle shop?" This got him odd looks from everyone.

"You're all being a bit presumptuous, don't you think?" Tigress asked. "This tournament is going to be filled with the greatest masters from all over China, using kung fu techniques we've never even heard of. Who's to say that _any_ of us will win?"

The conversation ended there.

"...Way to be a spoilsport, Tigress," Mantis muttered.

"Every party needs a pooper," added Monkey.

"She does have a point," Viper admitted. "I mean, we don't even know what these 'trials' will consist of. By the sound of things, they'll be testing more than just our ability to beat up enemies."

"I hope there's an eating challenge," Po said, having already downed all of his soup and half of the dumplings.

Crane sighed and shook his head. "The bottom line is there's just too many unknowns. Let's all just agree to do our best, so no matter what happens, we'll have no regrets."

"Go team!" Po yelled out, extending his paw into the middle of the table. After a moment, everyone else reached in and placed their various appendages on top of it.

Everyone except Tigress. "Po, we're not a team. We're competing against each other too." Her friends all stared at her expectantly. "Oh, alright." She smiled and put her paw in with everyone else.

Po counted down. "1...2...3..."

"GO TEAM!"

They all went to sleep soundly that night, dreaming of the challenges to come.

* * *

 _For the record, 1,000,000 yuan is worth a lot less than 1,000,000 dollars, but it's still a heck of a lot of money._


	4. Chapter 3: The Spy of a Thousand Scents

_The first part of this chapter was originally going to be at the end of the last, which is why Chapter 2 was a bit short. I just thought the pacing worked better like this._

 _More exposition. The tournament begins next time_

* * *

Chapter 3: The Spy of a Thousand Scents

The first week passed by quickly. The masters of the Jade Palace were so eager to prove themselves in the Wu Xing Tournament that they were barely even seen outside of the training hall anymore. At one point, Mr. Ping had stormed up to the palace, wondering why his son had not come down to visit him lately and accusing Shifu of overworking him. One game of mahjong later and Ping had won the rights to the panda for an entire day to make up for it. Po didn't complain of course, but he spent that day turning everything from chopping vegetables to filling soup bowls into an intense kung fu exercise. He had to train somehow.

About two days after that event, Grandmaster Shifu got the shock of his life.

He was meditating in the middle of the Dragon Grotto, contemplating the mysteries of the universe. He was just getting somewhere on the meaning of life when a shrill voice broke him out of his thoughts. "Master Shifu! Master Shifu!"

He sighed. So it was going to be one of _those_ mornings. "Yes? What is it, Zeng?"

The frazzled messenger goose ran up to him, stopping to catch his breath. "I-It's the Emperor! He's here!"

Shifu gaped at him. "It can't be...he's nearly a week early! Are you sure?"

"Yes! Positive! It was him all right! His procession is coming up the stairs as we speak!" Shifu sped past the goose before he even finished talking.

If the son of heaven was really in the Valley already, then there was no time to spruce up the Jade Palace as he had intended. He would barely have the time to get his students ready. Thank the gods for the thousand stairs. That would at least slow them down a bit.

He burst into the training hall so forcefully the masters almost thought they were under attack. They might as well have been. "The Emperor is coming here now! All of you stop your training and go wash up!"

They all froze in position. Monkey, hanging by one hand from a Seven-Talon Ring and launching a kick, turned his head to look at him. "What, you mean right now?"

"Yes! Right now! GO!" With a speed he found admittedly impressive, his students cleared the training hall. That made him calm down a little. At least now he wouldn't be presenting a group of sweaty, smelly kung fu masters to the ruler of China. Now he just had to keep the royal procession busy for a bit.

Shifu patted down his robes, making sure they were in good condition, and headed outside. He positioned himself as regally as possible right in front of the main entrance to the palace and waited. His sensitive ears soon heard the unmistakable sounds of the approaching group as they drew nearer. He found himself mentally reviewing every aspect of the Jade Palace and its inhabitants just to make sure he wouldn't offend his royal highness in some way. It might be a good idea to avoid Po's room. And Po in general, but he doubted that would be possible.

The first to arrive at the top of the stairs were a pair of wolves, both dressed in shining armor and looking far more regal than usual representatives of the species. Following them were a whole slew of royal geese, carrying the massive form of the Emperor's personal litter on their backs. The Emperor himself could not yet be seen as the litter covered him from sight. As the procession reached the top of the stairs, the geese gently lowered the litter to the ground, and one of the wolves stepped forward. "Now presenting, his royal majesty, the son of heaven, Emperor Huangzu Zihao III!"

Shifu swallowed a lump in his throat as the litter was opened and the Emperor stepped out. He was an impressive figure to say the least, covered in long golden robes that extended all the way down and completely covered his legs. An equally magnificent headdress was adorned on top of his mane. As an Asiatic lion, the Emperor towered over Shifu and his procession even without it. "Grandmaster," he said simply, giving a slight bow towards the red panda.

The bow Shifu returned was much greater. "Your Highness. Forgive me for my lack of preparation. I was under the impression that you would not be arriving for several more days."

"Rise," he ordered and Shifu got back on his feet. "I am aware that I have arrived early, Grandmaster. It was by necessity."

"Necessity?"

"Yes." The Emperor's gaze grew much more serious. "I'm afraid this is no casual visit. I must speak to you and all of your students at once."

Shifu hid his nervousness as best he could. His students couldn't possibly be ready yet, but he couldn't exactly refuse a request from the Emperor of China. "Of course. Right this way."

* * *

And so it was that the Emperor was introduced to the masters of the Jade Palace...immediately after they finished bathing. It was no problem for Tigress, who looked just as dignified as ever in a red bathrobe that actually covered more than her usual clothing. Mantis and Viper barely looked any different at all, with the latter only missing her floral headpieces. It was the rest of the boys who got the short end of the stick, dressed only in white towels.

Well at least they were clean.

Thankfully, the Emperor seemed more amused than offended. One of the wolves stepped forward to speak again. "Now presenting, his royal-"

"Yes, yes, we can skip that part this time." The Emperor waved him off. The wolf nodded meekly and fell back.

The six masters were quick to bow to him. "It's an honor to welcome you here, Your Highness," said Tigress.

The Emperor looked the group over. "So, this is the Furious Five. I have heard so much about your exploits. And, ah, you must be the Dragon Warrior."

"Uh, y-yes, Your Highness," Po said awkwardly. He was self-conscious enough about meeting the Emperor, and his current state of dress was not helping to boost his confidence.

He smiled warmly. "So the legends are true! I must say, I was not expecting you to be a panda though."

"Yeah, I get that a lot..."

He chuckled at that, but his expression quickly turned serious again. "Alas, this is not the time for catching up. There is something urgent I need to bring to all of your attention." He turned his head and nodded to the other wolf at his side. The lupine reached into his armor and pulled out a small parchment, which he handed to Shifu.

As he looked it over, the other masters came up behind him and took a peek themselves. "What is this?" Viper asked. "It looks like writing, but I can't read any of the characters."

"I would be surprised if you could," Shifu replied. "It's in Japanese."

"What?!" They all shouted.

"A few days after we began setting up the Wu Xing Tournament, our scouts intercepted a suspicious messenger bird on his way here to the Valley of Peace," the Emperor explained. "He claimed to be one of our own, but we quickly saw through his lies and attempted to apprehend him. Unfortunately, the bird took his own life with a hidden poison capsule before we could. This is the note he was carrying."

"I assume you've had it translated?" asked Shifu.

"Naturally. One of my royal scribes is fluent in Japanese and was able to translate it quickly. However, the translation did not prove particularly helpful."

Monkey scratched his head. "Why not?"

"Purple elephants fly in the golden groves. Climb the salty mountain." The Emperor kept a completely straight face. "That's what it said."

Po titled his head to the side. "Uh...wow. I knew the Japanese were weird, but..."

"It's a coded message," Tigress stated. "It's designed so only it's intended recipient can understand it's meaning."

"Indeed," Shifu said, starting to get a very bad feeling about this. "Which raises the question: who was the intended recipient?"

"Japanese immigrants?" Po shrugged.

"Immigrants wouldn't need coded messages," Tigress growled.

"Then who would?"

"A spy."

Everyone looked to the Emperor, who seemed as if he had been waiting for this exact question. "You believe there is a _spy_ in the Valley of Peace?" Shifu asked, horrified.

"Yes, and not just any spy either," he said solemnly. "To infiltrate a land as well-protected as the Valley, I believe the Japanese have sent their most dangerous spy of all."

Shifu clutched his staff tightly. "You don't mean...?"

"No ordinary spy could hide here for this long without being caught. It must be him."

"Woah, woah, hold up," Po cut in. "Just who are we talking about here?"

"You don't know? That's a shocker," Mantis teased.

"Hey, I only know about Chinese legends. Japanese ones are out of my purview."

"I was under the impression that he was just that, a legend," Shifu said, shaking his head. "From what I've heard, this particular spy is responsible for almost every bit of information Japan has ever stolen from us. He's been infiltrating this country for decades right under our noses."

"And no one has ever found him? How is that possible?" asked Crane.

"On the contrary," the Emperor spoke, "he has been allegedly sighted several times. But the reports are always inconsistent. One describes him as a cobra, another as an elephant, and yet another as a black beetle. No one can seem to nail down what he actually looks like, which has led many sources to conclude that he is only a myth." He laughed humorlessly. "The rest have come to refer to him as 'the spy of a thousand scents'. They believe him to be a shapeshifter."

This came as less of a shock to these seven individuals than it would to most people, as living under Grandmaster Oogway had made them well-versed in mystical, and just plain bizarre abilities. "A shapeshifter? It would explain the reports," Shifu admitted.

"Hold on," Tigress said, gritting her teeth. "If this guy really is a shapeshifter, then that means..."

"That's right," the Emperor said darkly. "It means that one of your opponents in the upcoming Wu Xing Tournament may well be him in disguise. This is why I have come to you all. If anyone can find this spy and bring him to justice, you can."

Shifu bowed to him once more. "We will do everything in our power to capture him." Po and the Five shared concerned looks with each other, but bowed as well.

Despite the circumstances, the Emperor smiled. "I knew I could count on you. In the meantime, I require a place to stay before the tournament begins. I want to draw as little attention to myself as possible while I'm here."

"You may stay in the Jade Palace of course," Shifu offered. "We will provide you the best accommodations we can."

"Uh, Master Shifu?" Po called out.

Shifu's eye twitched and he turned around slowly. "Yes Po, what is it?"

"Can I please get dressed now? It's starting to get really breezy."

"...Yes Po. You may get dressed."

"Thank you!" Po tore off back into the bathhouse, followed much more gracefully by the Five.

The Emperor chuckled as he watched them go. "The Dragon Warrior certainly is an odd one, isn't he?"

"Believe me Your Highness, you have _no_ idea..."

* * *

The Shushi Inn, located at the southern tip of the Valley of Peace, had been in business for several generations. As a result, it had slowly expanded in size since it's founding, and was now hailed as one of the largest inns ever built. So it was only natural that the entire building would be rented out by the Wu Xing Tournament staff as a place for all foreign competitors to stay during the events. Even then, it was nearly overcrowded with how popular this particular tournament had turned out to be.

Most of the competitors were assigned to separate rooms, with the exception of those who knew each other or were on distinctly friendly terms. The last thing the staff wanted was for fights to break out before the tournament even began. To that end, the inn was monitored closely by the Imperial Army, and the doors to each room were required to be tightly locked at all times.

One room was sealed more tightly than the rest. The doors locked, the windows covered with thick drapes, and the lighting dimmed to the point that the room was nearly pitch black. All of this was done by it's sole occupant, who valued privacy and solitude much more than most people. Seated in the middle of the room in silent mediation, he would appear as little more than a hunched over shadow to anyone who saw him. Not that he would ever let anyone see him. It was so rare that he got to enjoy the freedom of his true form during an assignment and he only allowed himself that freedom when he was absolutely certain he would not be discovered. He couldn't enjoy it for long either. The tournament would begin soon.

No matter. He was more than ready for it.

A pair of cold brown eyes opened, glowing in the darkness.

"Let the games begin..."

* * *

 _While I'm not going to refer to the Emperor by name very often, "Huangzu Zihao" roughly means "royal_ _pride", representing his great status and heritage. And yes, it's also a pun._

 _"Shushi" means "comfy", which any inn damn well should be. The fact that it happens to sound a lot like "sushi" is just a bonus._


	5. Chapter 4: Meet the Competition

_Alright guys, I have a big announcement to make._

 _In planning out this story, I came across a bit of a conundrum. The Wu Xing Tournamnet is huge, and my character pool, well, isn't. I have enough major OC's to make it through to the endgame, but I still need some others running around to keep our heroes from facing off with "generic ox" and "generic bunny". So I've decided to make this a little more interesting and bring in some OC's from other authors. Two have already contributed, whose characters will appear in this chapter, but now I'm officially asking for more. So if you have an OC that you want to cameo as a tournament competitor, just send me a PM and we can work it out. :)_

 _Given just how much goes on in this chapter, I gave most of these other competitors only the briefest of introductions so as not to be too overwhelming. Believe me, you'll see much more of them later._

* * *

Chapter 4: Meet the Competition

Through a combination of excitement and anxiety, the first day of the Wu Xing Tournament was quickly upon them.

"Today's the day," Grandmaster Shifu addressed his students. "Remember, while you do have a mission to complete, I want all of you to do your best in the tournament. Do not lose focus."

"Yes, Master," they all bowed.

He smiled. "Good luck to you all."

The masters left the Jade Palace in high spirits, temporarily pushing the elusive "spy of a thousand scents" to the back of their minds and focusing on the competition ahead. The Emperor had instructed them to head to the western end of the Valley and follow the tournament officials there. Unsurprisingly, this was exactly where Master Crane had been turned away by Imperial guards, and as they approached the area by foot, it became quite clear why.

"Woah...that arena is massive," Po gasped as they all caught sight of their destination off in the distance. The arena was massive indeed, constructed out of a dark brown wood with a slight greenish tint to it. Adorned at its top was a single character, large enough to be read even from this distance: "木".

"Looks like that's only the arena for our first trial too," Crane observed. "Does that mean they built four more of these somewhere?"

Mantis whistled. "All in two weeks? Man, these guys were busy."

"Enough talk," Tigress snapped. "Let's get moving. We have a job to do." She walked off down the hill towards the arena.

"Leave it to Tigress to ruin pleasure with business," Monkey sighed as they followed after her.

* * *

As they drew closer, their attention was pulled away from the arena and towards the large crowd gathered in front of it. One look told them that these were not spectators. These were their opponents, all of various species and disciplines, numbering at least several dozen.

And one of them was a Japanese spy.

"How are we going to do this?" Po whispered."This is like finding a needle in a _city_ of haystacks!"

Tigress looked over the crowd, staring at them in a distinctly predatory fashion. "Simple. We split up, talk to a few of them at a time, and-"

"And _what?_ Hope that one of them accidentally calls you 'Tigress-san'?" Mantis asked.

Tigress looked affronted, but Viper stepped in before she could respond. "He's right, Tigress. We don't know enough about any of these people to notice anything suspicious about them. This guy's a professional remember? We're not going to find him that easily."

The feline opened her mouth to argue, but was forced to concede. "I know. I just hate having an enemy in our midst and not being to do a thing about it."

"In the meantime, we should probably get ourselves signed up," Monkey said, pointing over his shoulder to a small booth next to them. "I'd hate to go back to Master Shifu and tell him that we missed the entry period."

The line in front of the booth was relatively short, as most of the competitors had entered already. There was more paperwork involved than they expected, including forms for personal information, styles and techniques they had mastered, weapons they were proficient at, and most unnervingly, waivers to clear the tournament staff of all liability in the case of untimely death.

As each of them stepped up to the booth and signed themselves up, they became aware of a crowd slowly growing behind them, watching them with interest. There was no question that knew exactly who they were looking at, as they kept whispering excitedly amongst themselves. That excitement tripled when Po, the last one in line, signed up, and their whispers became extremely audible.

"Isn't that the Dragon Warrior?"

"Wow, it really is him!"

"He's smaller than I expected."

"Really? He's a heck of a lot _bigger_ than I expected."

Po tried to quell his discomfort. It was one thing when the people of the Valley started talking about him, at least they were all people he knew. When a horde of complete strangers was openly gossiping about him, it felt a bit weird. He turned around with the intention of getting away as quickly as possible, but found a giddy fox girl standing right in his path. She was hard to miss in her bright velvet qipao and fur only one shade lighter. With her painted claws and assortment of jewelry, including a ring on her bushy tail, she looked more ready for a ball than a kung fu tournament.

She also looked criminally insane. "So you're really the Dragon Warrior?" she asked, grinning widely.

"Uh...yeah..."

"THAT'S SO COOL!" She snatched his paw like it was a new diamond ring and started shaking it violently. "I'm Xingfu! It's so nice to meet you! Hey, are those guys your friends? Wow, it must be really neat to be friends with the Furious Five! You all live in the Jade Palace right? I wish I could live there. That place looks so incredible, I can't even imagine-!"

In the midst of her monologue, Po whispered over to the Five, standing behind him. "Did _I_ used to act like this?"

"Used to?" Monkey asked back.

Xingfu stood up on her tiptoes to look Po straight in the eye. "So is it true that you have a thing for Master Tigress? Huh? Huh?"

"Who else wants to meet the Dragon Warrior?" Po asked loudly, giving the fox a gentle but firm shove away. He quickly regretted his words as he immediately found himself surrounded by more crazy fans, peppering him increasingly uncomfortable questions.

The Five slowly backed away as the panda got swarmed, knowing there was nothing they could do for him.

"Getting a little shafted, are we?" a smug, and unfortunately familiar, voice called out from behind.

"Hello Kuai," Tigress said, as unenthusiastically as possible.

The cheetah appeared in front of them, standing between the Five and Po. "You've all been protecting China for decades, then this guy comes along and completely steals your thunder. Doesn't seem very fair, now does it?"

She just rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Kuai?"

"Just waiting for the fun to begin. I take it you've all been informed of what's going on by now. Or did you just happen to wander over here by accident?"

"We've all been signed up. Thank you."

He frowned, clearly disappointed at her lack of a reaction. That left him at a bit of a loss as to what he should do next. "Well...see ya." He stuck his tongue out, then turned on his heal and walked off hastily.

The Five just stood there and watched him go for a few seconds, until Crane spoke up. " _What_ is that guy's problem?"

Monkey took a look around and spotted the pangolin, Dun, out in the crowd. "Let's find out." Monkey headed over in that direction, Crane following behind.

"Hey, look at that," Viper noticed, seeing a small bunny girl that looked completely out of place among the many more menacing competitors. She was a snow hare, both her fur and clothing pure white in color, and her eyes a blueish-green. She was just barely taller than Shifu, though her ears doubled that length. Even by bunny standards, she looked completely timid and anxious, and this is what caught Viper's eye. "The poor thing. I'm gonna go talk to her." Viper slithered away towards the girl.

Mantis, now awkwardly standing alone next to Tigress, slowly sidled away himself. "Yeah, I'm just gonna, you know, go over there..."

It was now apparent that Tigress's plan to go talk to the other competitors was completely redundant. Unfortunately for Tigress, making friendly conversation with strangers was not really her strong suit.

It was by complete luck that she happened to spot the tiger

On the polar opposite end of the spectrum from Xingfu or the bunny girl, this tiger looked like he was not just ready to fight, but ready to go to war. He was dressed in a jet black sleeveless vest and pants with a white sash, with dark red fur and muscles comparable to the late Tai Lung. He also had a _gigantic_ crossbow strapped onto his back, which he looked more than capable of using. Now this was a warrior who she could find some common ground with.

"Excuse me," Tigress said as she walked up to him. He turned around to face her, and that's when she noticed his eyes.

Namely that he had none.

"Uhh...what's your name?" she asked, thankful that he couldn't see the completely unprofessional look on her face right now.

"Reidak."

"...That doesn't sound like a Chinese name," Tigress said hesitantly, wondering if their spy would really choose such an obvious disguise.

"It's not. I'm from Russia," he replied, surprisingly smooth for a guy so scary looking.

"Russia?" Tigress raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I guess this tournament really _is_ special."

"Indeed. I have traveled a long way to compete against the best this country has to offer. I hope I am not disappointed." He wasn't being arrogant, like a certain other feline or two, but there was a definite edge of challenge to his tone.

Tigress smirked. "Don't worry, you won't be."

At least there would be no shortage of rivals here.

* * *

Across the field, Monkey and Crane had caught up to Dun. Not a difficult task, considering he was barely moving at all.

"Oh. It's you," he said as they approached. The pangolin was as stoic as ever and just turned his head slightly to face them.

"Yeah, from the noodle shop," Monkey said politely. Even if he did almost break his foot fighting this guy, he figured he'd at least be friendly. "I was wondering how well you knew that cheetah, Kuai."

"Well."

"Then do you know why he seems to dislike us so much?"

"Yes."

He blinked. "...Can you tell us?"

"No."

Monkey took a deep breath. Friendliness was starting to get difficult.

"So where did you two come from anyway?" Crane asked, trying a different approach.

"Lee Da".

"Really?" he asked, suddenly much more interested in the conversation. "How's the place been?"

"Nice."

"Mei Ling's still there, right? How's she doing?"

"Good."

Monkey and Crane looked at each and sighed in unison. Clearly, the pangolin was not as good a source of information as they thought.

* * *

Viper approached the bunny girl slowly, as she looked ready to take off at any sudden movement. "Um, hello there," she said, making the girl jump.

"...H-Hello," she replied nervously.

"I'm Master Viper. What's your name?"

The girl paused for a few seconds, as if unsure why she was talking to her. "...Yin Bei."

Viper smiled. "Hello, Yin Bei. Are you competing in the tournament too?" She paused again, then only nodded in response.

"I'm from the Jade Palace. Where do you come from?"

This time, she clammed up completely. Viper waited several seconds for a response and tried again, even more gently. Still nothing. She was forced to take the hint that the girl just wasn't in the mood for conversation.

"Okay...I'll see you later." Bei remained silent, not even looking at her as she slithered away. Viper hated to leave someone who was obviously under a lot of stress, but she had little choice right now. Still, she couldn't help but worry for such a timid creature entering the tournament. Surely there must be more to her than meets the eye if she was hoping to compete.

Viper resolved to keep a close eye on this one.

* * *

As Mantis wandered the crowd aimlessly, he soon realized that he had gotten himself lost. The many taller animals that surrounded him were like a dense forest that kept him from being able to get his bearings. Except that he didn't have to worry about a forest stepping on him.

He was so focused on finding a way back, he failed to look where he was going and crashed straight into someone's leg. "Woah! Hey, uh, sorry sir."

"Watch it!" Mantis jumped back as a large cane came down right where he had been standing. He almost thought Master Shifu had joined the tournament until he looked up and saw the creature's face. He was an aged gibbon, wearing grey robes that were both too big and too decrepit to fit him properly. The gibbon's fur was a dirty brown, except for the typical white and black of his face. He was hunched over on an old oak cane, the same one that he had just attempted to squash him with, and looked none too pleased about him or life in general.

"What, do you have something to say to me, boy?" he snapped.

Mantis wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. He apparently took too long to figure it out as the gibbon took another whack at him. "Spit it out, you whippersnapper! Back in my day, when my elders asked me a question, I gave them an answer! You youngins' today, no respect..."

Mantis was horrified. Why oh why did he have to run into one of _these_ people? "It's been nice meeting you sir, but I should really be on my way..." He tried to make a run for it, but the coot's cane came down again and blocked his escape route.

"Sir? Sir?! If you're not going to address me with respect, at least use my name! I am Lao Pi, and don't you forget it! Honestly, you kids today and your new 'hip' kung fu. Back in my day, kung fu was an art form worthy of respect, not put on parade at these silly tournaments. I can remember the time I..."

As Lao Pi rambled on, Mantis felt an icy cloud of hopelessness and despair wash over him, and he began to welcome the comforting embrace of death.

* * *

After a long string of signing autographs and dodging questions, Po finally managed to escape from his fan club and had crossed nearly the entire field in the process. He was now standing right at the gates of the arena, staring up at the structure in wonder.

"So awesome..." he breathed softly, only snapped out of his trance when he noticed the Five approaching him. "Hey guys. How'd the meet and greet go?"

"It was...intriguing," Tigress said simply.

"A bit depressing," Viper muttered sadly.

"Kind of annoying," Monkey grumbled.

"And really unhelpful," Crane agreed.

"I don't want to talk about it," Mantis shuddered.

"Okay okay, but did you meet anyone..." Po paused to make sure no one was listening, then leaned in close and winked at them, "... _innnnteeereeesssting?"_

Tigress stared at him blankly. "Po, please tell me that was not you trying to be subtle."

Suddenly, the doors to the arena were violently kicked open and a loud booming voice echoed across the field. "ALRIGHT, LINE UP YOU SISSIES! THE WU XING TOURNAMENT IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!"

* * *

 _The blind tiger Reidak Tor Pre Vizsla comes from the author of the same name. The shy bunny Yin Bei comes from Mind Jack. Special thanks to you two for your contribution. Hope you don't have a problem with the creative liberties I've taken with your characters._

 _Now for the other OCs:_

 _"Xingfu" means "happiness", a trait she exerts quite freely. I'll admit that she's a bit of an expy of Wan Wu in my other stories, but you can't have a story like this without an insane fangirl character._

 _"Lao Pi" definitely has my favorite name. It means "old fart", which is pretty much him in a nutshell._


	6. Chapter 5: The Trial of Wood

_First off, I have to apologize. I should have specified this in the last chapter, but I am only accepting ONE OC per author for the sake of fairness. I don't want to exclude anyone else if they want to get in on this._

 _I also have to apologize for the distinct lack of action so far for a KFP fic. Don't worry, you'll be getting that in spades...next chapter._

* * *

Chapter 5: The Trial of Wood

Everyone looked to the gate as a particularly mean-looking rhino stepped out. He bore the appearance of an Imperial Army general, dressed in heavy dark grey armor that just screamed authority and power. If that weren't enough, he also had a horn sharp enough to stab through bone and a giant scar through his left eye that made him look downright demonic.

"Woah," was all Po could say before the rhino yelled again and the equally stunned crowd around him started to come together. Just as he commanded, they all lined up into four separate rows, with Po and the Five standing next to each other at the front.

The rhino slowly walked down the line, staring down each one of them. The competitors gave him a variety of responses. The more strong-willed just stared right back at him, some flinched under his gaze, and Yin Bei looked like she was about to faint. "So...this is my crop, eh? Looks to be at least fifty of you, quite an impressive turnout. I can only imagine it's because of our 'special guest' this time around." He stopped directly in front of Po. "Isn't that right, Dragon Warrior?"

"Uh..." What exactly was he supposed to say to that? "I...guess so?"

The rhino just stared at him uncomfortably for several seconds before letting out a cruel chuckle. "I guess so he says...what a warrior you are." He stopped laughing and got even closer to him, so that Po's eyes were crossed right between that deadly horn. "You listen to me tubby, I don't care how esteemed and legendary you're supposed to be. I will grind you into the dirt just as swiftly as the rest of these maggots. You understand me?"

"Yes," Po said meekly, thinking that another 'I guess so' would be a very bad idea.

"Good." This earned him some glares from the rest of the Five, but he ignored them and continued on down the line. "As you all may have guessed, I am General Zhong of the Imperial Army. But for the purposes of supervising this tournament, you will call me by another name. I am Master Bludgeoning Rhino."

"I didn't know Master Flying Rhino had another son," Monkey whispered over to Crane.

"He didn't. That guy is Commander Vachir's older brother."

"Okay, now _that_ makes sense."

"And you will address me only as 'Master' unless I give you permission otherwise!" Rhino stated, glaring back at them. "Am I understood?!"

"Yes, Master!" chorused the majority of the group.

"Now hold on!" Kuai snapped. "You can't just call yourself 'Master' like that! We're not your students, you're just the guy who leads us around!"

Rhino was in front of him in an instant. "I'm also the guy who has the authority to break your spine if you get on my bad side. I highly recommend you don't," he said darkly.

Kuai gulped. "Y-Yes Master."

Rhino stepped back to the front of the gate again and addressed the crowd once more. "The rest of you may be concerned about the sheer number of opponents you'll have to face. Well I'm here to reassure you that you won't have to worry about that for long."

A sadistic grin crossed his face and his next words did anything but reassure them.

"After all, by the end of the first trial, more than half of you will be gone."

* * *

Master Bludgeoning Rhino led the competitors inside the arena. None of them were expecting what awaited inside, not even those who actually lived in the Valley.

It was a forest. Yes, an entire forest was confined within the arena, which was shaped to accommodate it. This left it looking less like a circle and more like a lengthy rectangle that extended past their line of sight. A few spectators had already filled into the seats, eagerly awaiting the events to come.

"Okay...what is this?" Crane asked, echoing the thoughts of everyone present.

" _This_ is the Trial of Wood," Rhino answered. "We're about to see just how much moxie this group really has." The competitors were more attentive now, knowing that things were about to get serious. "The Trial of Wood is, in essence, a race. Your goal is to cross this forest and reach the other side using speed, agility, and get that smug little grin off your face Kuai, before I smack it off!"

The cheetah, who had been smiling profusely at the mention of a race, promptly shut his mouth. It was clear that Kuai was already on Bludgeoning Rhino's shitlist. Very few felt sorry for him.

"As I was saying, your speed and agility will be tested here, but _not only_ those qualities," Rhino explained, shooting another glare at Kuai. "I hardly consider a simple jog through the woods to be a worthy trial for kung fu masters, so we've made things a little more interesting." He paused there and grinned again. "You see, every inch of this forest is booby-trapped."

Several competitors gasped and started nervously mumbling amongt themselves. Master Tigress was not one of them. "Interesting. So the challenge is in not only making it to the end quickly, but making it to the end at all."

"That's right! The wood element emphasizes flexibility, and so to pass this trial, you will need to react quickly and adapt to whatever traps come your way. Frankly, I don't think any of you lot have a chance."

"...Just how many of us _can_ make it?" Viper asked hesitantly.

"Glad you asked," and indeed, he looked like he was dying to get to this part. "On the other end of the forest is a gate, similar to the one we just came in through. The gate is closed and you will pull a lever to open it. Only one competitor may pass through the gate at a time and the lever will only work twenty times before it is stuck in place for good. Also, the first competitor to pass through the gate wins an advantage for the second trial."

But no one cared about that last part. "So what you're saying is, at the very most, only twenty of us will complete the trial?" asked Reidak bitterly.

"Over half of us gone, just like he said." Po bit his lip. He knew he didn't have a dumpling's chance in his serving bowl of placing 1st in a race, but surely he could at least place 20th, right?

...Right?

"Right, now that I've shaken your misplaced confidence, I'll leave you to prepare. The Trial of Wood begins in twenty minutes."

"You sure love that number, don't you?" Mantis asked, deadpan. But he was ignored as Rhino took his leave.

* * *

For the next twenty minutes, the Wu Xing competitors waited, watching in excitement and apprehension as the seats around them began to fill with spectators, many of which were clearly not from the Valley of Peace. There were plenty of familiar faces though, including Mr. Ping, who waved warmly to his son while his eyes where plainly terrified for him. One larger booth at the top of the arena was occupied by Grandmaster Shifu and the Emperor of China, surrounded by a generous supply of bodyguards. While Shifu gave his students a nod and a smile, the lion wisely gave them no acknowledgement, since he had officially never met them.

Soon enough, the entire arena was packed, but there was still no sign of any tournament officials. This was all by design. One of the most common forms of torture is to force the victims to wait for something unpleasant in their future. Or perhaps this was another test for the adaptability of the wood element. In any case, it was a good hour before the trail actually began.

A squad of antelopes came onto the field and began to separate the competitors so each one would be entering the forest from a different point. This was likely done to keep them from running into each other, but given how many of them there were, they still ended up standing almost shoulder-to-shoulder. Po also took notice of the fact that he and the Five were as far apart as possible. He highly doubted it was a coincidence.

"So they want me to show my stuff, do they?" he muttered. "No problem. It's time for the Dragon Warrior to bring the thunder."

"SQUAWK!"

The fighters all lost any focus they had and looked up at the sudden sound. A strange parrot had soared into the arena and began flying in circles across the expansive forest. He was bright green in color, with the exception of a red beak. His only clothing was a little red vest that looked strangely adorable. The parrot opened his beak again and let out a surprisingly loud voice, more than enough to be heard by everyone in attendance.

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, honored quests and almighty son of heaven himself, welcome to the Wu Xing Tournament SQUAWK! Everyone who's here to watch the greatest kung fu masters from across China go at it for fame and fortune, you've come to the right place! Everyone who just wants to see some fur fly, you've also come to the right place SQUAWK! To help you keep up with the action, I'll be your guide through this wondrous event, your eye from the sky, Chaonao! SQUAWK!"_

"Nice to see they're treating this tournament with dignity," Tigress said dryly.

 _"Our competitors are lining up now to compete in the Trial of Wood, where they'll have to race through this forest while avoiding both traps and each other! It's going to be a fun ride, so let's get started SQUAWK!_ _Competitors, are you ready?!"_

Loud shouts of affirmation came from the competitors. Po was the loudest of all, giving an enthusiastic "Bring it on!" that overshadowed everyone else.

Chaonao swooped down closer, so that he now hovered above them. _"Then on your marks..."_

Tigress crouched down on all fours, Crane adjusted his hat, Monkey cracked the knuckles on both his hands and feet.

 _"...get set..."_

Reidak snarled and unsheathed his claws, Xingfu smiled to herself gleefully, Yin Bei took a deep breath and put on the most threatening face she could manage.

 _"...and..."_

Kuai stretched his legs casually, Lao Pi grumbled to himself and spat on the ground, Po got into his most bodaciously awesome of battle stances and shot a confident smirk towards the challenge ahead.

 _"...GOOOOOOO!"_

* * *

 _Master Bludgeoning Rhino came as the result of me wanting to create a strict, drill sergeant type host for the tournament. I just decided to give him the same naming convention as every other rhino master, with a darker twist._

 _"Chaonao" means "noisy", and he is by far the most fun character for me to write. For future reference, all text from him will be in italics whenever he's giving commentary to avoid confusion. He is an Alexandrine parrot, for anyone curious. I didn't refer to him as such because the species is named after Alexander the Great and referencing a real life figure like that feels weird to me._


	7. Chapter 6: Tricks and Traps

_Now the tournament REALLY begins. About damn time, I know._

* * *

Chapter 6: Tricks and Traps

As soon as Chaonao gave the starting signal, the forest erupted into chaos. None of the competitors were willing to give each other any headway and charged straight in, eager to show their worth in the Trial of Wood.

Kuai naturally proved quicker than anyone else and almost immediately took the lead. "Tough luck, guys!" he called out behind him. "Cheetah feet can't be beat! See you at the finishing gate suc-AHHHH!" So preoccupied with taunting his opponents, Kuai had failed to notice the concealed net until it was too late. The spotted cat was thrown into the air and left dangling from a tree.

 _"Oooh, it appears that the fastest competitor is also the fastest to spring a trap! Tough luck, Kuai SQUAWK!"_

"S-Shut up!" Kuai yelled back indignantly, struggling furiously to free himself from the net. The rest of the competitors raced past the cheetah, but learned from his example and slowed down significantly.

Master Tigress, running on all fours, honed her senses to pick up anything unusual from the surrounding forest. Her ears twitched and she abruptly sped to the side as a trio of darts sailed past. They struck an unlucky ox running behind her, who staggered and collapsed. "Child's play," Tigress smirked. The obstacles in the training hall were more challenging than this.

Another threatening sound reached her ears and this time she stopped in her tracks. A large crossbow bolt came from behind and hit the ground right in front of her face. "Not bad." She turned around and saw the familiar eyeless face of Reidak standing on a branch above her. "You look like you're in need of a challenge, da?"

Tigress wondered how she could 'look' like anything to him. "Only if you think you can give me one." She took off running again and soon heard the other tiger in pursuit. He came alongside her and took a swing at her with his claws. She ducked the strike, then pushed herself off the ground, spun in the air, and landed a kick to Reidak's backside. He hit the ground hard, but quickly sprung back up again and continued after her. Tigress set her eyes on the goal ahead and narrowed her eyes. Finally, things were about to get serious.

 _"It's China vs. Russia as the tiger masters are off and running SQUAWK! Which set of stripes is going to cross the finishing stripes first? Place your bets now, folks!"_

"I really hate that bird," she grumbled.

* * *

Crane dove in low to avoid a giant log that swung out of the treetops before soaring back up again. Clearly, the tournament staff were more than ready to deal with flying competitors. He caught sight of Monkey below him, swinging from branch to branch while looking around warily. He let out a shriek when a deliberately weak branch snapped under his weight, and he fell a good ten feet before wrapping his tail around the tree's trunk and flinging himself back up.

"Ugh. This trial is going to give me a heart attack," he gasped.

"Adaptability," Crane shrugged, swooping in next to him. "Maybe you're just not 'woodlike' enough."

"For a creature that lives in the trees, that would just be embarrassing. What about you? Couldn't you just fly above the treeline and avoid all of this?"

 _"The Wu Xing Tournament staff would like to remind the competitors that flying above the treeline is extremely dishonorable. It will also get you disqualified SQUAWK!"_

"Guess that answers that question," Crane sighed. "How about we stick together? It'll be easier for us to reach the gate that way. _"_

"Sure. Unless _that's_ against the rules too." They paused and waited for another interruption from Chaonao, but heard nothing. "Looks like a good idea then," he grinned.

"Watch out!" Crane yelled suddenly, and Monkey realized he had let his attention wander as a giant scythe-like blade popped out of a tree and swung at him. Crane swiftly grabbed Monkey in his talons and lifted him above the danger, though not without a good cut across the simian's tail. Monkey yelped and blew on the injured appendage gently, grateful it hadn't been completely chopped off.

"Yeah. Definitely a good idea."

* * *

"Just keep going straight, just keep going straight," Mantis mumbled to himself, knowing that he of all people could easily get lost in this forest if he wasn't careful. The constant stampede of competitors and the barrage of traps weren't helping matters.

He landed on one particular rock and quickly stopped himself as the field around him suddenly burst into flames. Two other competitors, a goat and a bamboo rat, were caught in the fire and screamed as they rolled around on the ground frantically to put themselves out. The trap had been designed to burn anyone in the vicinity, but Mantis, still standing on the switch that triggered it, was left untouched. He had to admit, they were certain advantages to his size.

 _"Yikes, it's getting hot in here! Don't worry environmentalists, this fire is completely under control and won't harm the surrounding forest! Those who can't stand the smell of burnt fur may want to avert their nostrils however SQUAWK!"_

Mantis took a high jump off the switch and landed back on the burnt, but no longer dangerous, field. He wasted no time in getting away from it before it became dangerous again. "Geez, no wonder this thing's only held every fifty years. Any sooner and China would run out of masters."

He stopped again as he heard a loud rumbling from behind him. "Come on, not another one!" He whirled around to see what was coming at him. What could it be this time? A boulder? A rockslide? Po rolling down a hill?

It was none of those things, and Mantis jumped to the side as a large object rolled past him, carelessly flattening everything in it's path. Closer inspection revealed that the object was grey, scaly, and above all else, sentient.

 _"Look closely everyone, it appears that Dun is employing his signature technique of 'Not giving a damn'! As you can see, it's very effective SQUAWK!"_

Dun triggered several more traps on his single-minded path, but his impenetrable body harmlessly deflected everything from poison darts to sharp blades to giant boulders.

"Hey, you can't do that!" Mantis protested, hopping after him.

"Can too."

"Can not!"

"Can too."

"CAN NOT!"

 _"Actually he can!"_

"Shut up, Chaonao!"

But as Mantis continued to follow in Dun's path, he noticed he had to dodge quite a lot less traps than before. None actually. It appeared that the pangolin was fulfilling his namesake and completely shielding him from harm. "Hmm...this might not be so bad after all."

* * *

Viper slithered quickly from side to side, avoiding the rain of arrows that came down on her. She was making pretty good time, she thought. Even if she hadn't seen any of her friends yet, she felt confident that she could make it to the gate in time.

She suddenly saw a flash of white out of the corner of her eye and looked to the left to see the bunny girl, Yin Bei, running past her on all fours. She was pretty fast, as expected, and seemed about to run right by without even noticing her. That was until she ended up crashing right into the back of a large boar.

"Hey, watch it!" The boar turned around and Viper winced as she saw an arrow sticking out of his leg. This must have been a casualty of the same trap she had just avoided, but he didn't seem too injured to put up a fight. In fact, he was clearly sore about being knocked out of the tournament so early and looked set on taking his anger out on the unfortunate girl.

"I-I'm sorry," Bei said shyly, bowing to the boar in respect.

Either he didn't think she was being genuine or he just didn't care as he growled and raised a large hoof to bring it down on her head. "You're _gonna_ be sorry, bunny!" Head still bowed, her ear noticeably twitched.

Viper didn't want to lose any more time than she had to, but that was completely overwritten by her desire to protect others and she rushed forward to help her.

Her concern was unneeded. As the boar swung his arm down, Bei swiftly flipped over it and landed on her paws, then pushed up and nailed the boar under the chin with both feet. The boar landed hard on his back a good distance away.

 _"Did you see that folks?! If there's anything a gathering like this can teach you, it's to never judge a scroll by it's cover SQUAWK! Of course, I bet the Valley of Peace knows THAT lesson perfectly well already!"_

"Woah," Viper gasped before she could stop herself. Her earlier assessment was right. There was definitely more to this girl then meets the eye.

Bei jumped. She really had to stop surprising her like this. The hare turned around warily, only softening up a little when she recognized Viper. "It's you..."

"Yes, I-look out!" The furious boar had gotten back up and charged straight at Bei, who now had her back to him. Viper struck quickly, wrapping her tail around one of the brute's tusks and throwing him into a tree. This time he stayed down. "Alright, now that he's taken care of, maybe we can-" Viper turned back to where Yin Bei had been standing, but only caught a glimpse of her poofy tail as she disappeared into the bushes.

She sighed. "Nevermind."

* * *

"How big is this freaking forest?!" Po yelled. He felt like he had been running now for at least a hundred li (in actuality, it was not even ten) and his legs were starting to ache. He may have been a badass kung fu master now, but prolonged running was still not his strong suit, especially when he had to keep dodging deadly traps every ten seconds. He caught a glimpse of a few competitors passing by the trees above and briefly considered getting off the ground altogether and taking to the treetops.

Then again, he'd probably just snap a branch, followed by his neck. Yeah, maybe not.

"Hey Po!"

He turned around as the voice called out to him. He had hoped it was one of the Five, but quickly realized that it wasn't. In fact, he would've been perfectly fine never meeting his particular person again. "Hey, Xingfu."

"He remembered my name!" the vixen squealed to herself, doing a little happy dance. "Wow, all of my friends are going to be _so_ jealous!"

"That's great. Well, it was nice seeing you again, but I should really get back to-" Xingfu's arm shot forward and the next thing he knew, he was blown onto his back by a strong gust of wind. He looked back up at the fox and saw that her previously empty paws were now holding a pair of war fans. They were the same velvety red as most of her outfit, with some dangerous-looking blades sticking out of the ends. Both were emblazoned with a design of a twisting fox tail.

"Oh no you don't," she said, her smile suddenly looking a lot more sinister. "Now that I've finally caught up to you, you're not going anywhere."

* * *

 _If anyone's curious about how long a Chinese li is, 1 li equals about 0.31 miles or 645 meters. For perspective, the forest that houses the Trial of Wood is about 20 li long, making a somewhat short, but dangerous obstacle course._


	8. Chapter 7: Race to the Finish

_I was struggling for a bit on whether the rest of this trial should be one chapter or two. I eventually decided to just give you one super-long chapter. Don't get used to that._

* * *

Chapter 7: Race to the Finish

As the Trial of Wood raged below, the stands were alive with the cheers of the crowd. Those who were looking for violence and chaos were getting exactly what they wanted. Those who actually had students participating were a little more reserved. And concerned. "This tournament is even more dangerous than I expected," Shifu said, watching as yet another competitor fell victim to a trap.

"Is it not as you remember, Grandmaster?" asked the son of heaven.

"Things were different back then," he said simply. "Regardless, it seems that my students are all performing admirably. I am confident that most, if not all, will make it through this trial."

"Indeed," the Emperor agreed, but this was not his greatest concern. "You are aware of course...that our 'mutual friend' is competing down there as well," he said quietly.

"Yes," Shifu said, never taking his eyes off of the forest. "I know."

* * *

"GAH!" Po screamed as he just barely dodged another of Xingfu's wind blasts. "Look, you know this is a _race_ right?! We don't have time to be fooling around like this!"

"Who cares about the race? I don't need to win this stupid tournament. Defeating the legendary Dragon Warrior is a great honor in itself." She said all of this while still grinning psychotically. "And it will also fulfill my life's greatest dream!" she giggled.

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, now THIS is what we call obsessed! If you ever meet a girl like this in your life, do the responsible thing and contact the local law enforcement! This has been a public service announcement SQUAWK!"_

Po found himself completely on the defensive as Xingfu advanced on him, sending gust after gust in his direction. No more of them hit him, but he knew he couldn't dodge her forever. Especially not when he found his back up against a tree.

"Now I've got you!" she shouted and shot a horizontal gust at him. Po managed to leap over it as it struck the tree hard, creating a noticeable gash across the trunk. Before he could land again, she quickly followed up with another gust that struck him in midair, knocking him hard against the trunk. The tree couldn't take this combined assault and gave way with a loud crack, toppling backwards and landing in the branches of its fellows.

 _"There goes our promise to keep this forest safe during the trial SQUAWK! To be fair, sticking a bunch of kung fu masters into a forest to compete together, we probably should've seen this coming!"_

In the time it took Po to get back up, Xingfu closed the distance between them and slashed at him with the blades on one of her fans. The panda gritted his teeth in pain as he felt the weapon slice into his cheek. He backed away again, up the new slope they had just created, while the vixen continued to pursue him with more slashes and flying kicks. Deciding that enough was enough, Po grabbed her by the leg and swung her away. She bounced once against the trunk and plopped onto the dirt. "There! Now can we finally get back to the race now?" Po asked, exasperated.

Xingfu didn't even seem to hear him, completely fixated on her leg. "Wow...the Dragon Warrior grabbed me. I am never washing this leg again."

Po blinked. "Okay, that's it. You're crazy, and I'm out of here."

"Crazy about _you!"_ Without warning, she sprung to her feet, drew both fans, and shot one final gust of wind at him. With nowhere to dodge, Po brought his arms up to shield himself from the blast. Either she had been holding back on him before, or her powers were fueled by insanity because this blast was strong enough to blow the panda up the rest of the tree and clear out of the forest altogether.

As he cleared the treeline, Po got a brief glimpse of an anxious Mr. Ping, a stern Shifu, an amused Emperor, and a completely bewildered Chaonao. Then gravity kicked in and sent him back into the forest.

There was more than just barren ground waiting for him as he came back down. As it so happened, Dun was rolling his way along directly beneath him.

In this scenario, most kung fu masters would do one of two things. Either they would reorient themselves in midair and skillfully deflect themselves off of the pangolin's body, or, failing that, land on it painfully and get thrown aside.

Po Ping was not most kung fu masters.

As the panda landed, he planted his feet onto Dun's scales and tried to regain his balance. This quickly resulted in him running backwards on top of the pangolin like a ball.

 _"Impressive showing from the Dragon Warrior! If this whole kung fu thing doesn't work out for him, he could have a very promising career as a street performer SQUAWK!"_

"Yeah yeah, squawk all you want," he grumbled.

"Hey Po." He flinched a little, but then realized that the voice came from Master Mantis.

"Oh...hey, Mantis. What are you doing here?" he asked back, trying desperately to maintain his focus.

"Same as you. Getting a little help from our buddy here."

"Oh, that's nice, I-WAH!" A slew of arrows came straight at them, which didn't hurt Dun or touch Mantis, but forced Po to jump over them to avoid being turned into a panda pincushion. He landed back on top of Dun and continued running. "Do you not think this is hard enough?!" he yelled upwards. "Because it totally is!"

* * *

Tigress snarled as she and Reidak parried claw strikes again and again. The two tigers hadn't stopped running since they began this battle, each wanting to defeat their opponent in both the fight and the race. The blades of grass up ahead sank into the ground at their approach and were replaced with actual blades. Not taking their focus off of each other, the tigers leapt over the trap, traded a few more blows in midair, and continued right where they left off.

As Tigress searched for openings in Reidak's defense, she caught sight of something very peculiar passing by in the distance. It appeared to be Po, running along the backside of Dun, followed closely by Mantis. She quirked her head to the side at the bizarre scene.

Reidak, who couldn't see this oddity, and was thus not distracted by it, promptly kicked Tigress hard in the side. She flew several feet away and rolled along the ground until she was stopped by a tree.

 _"Ooh, beaten by a blind guy, that can't feel good! Anyone rooting for Reidak in that encounter, you just won your bet SQUAWK!"_

Groaning in pain, Tigress slowly got back up on her paws and searched around, but Reidak was nowhere in sight. "Urrggh...Po is going to pay for this..."

"Tigress, are you okay?" She felt a familiar cold sensation as Viper slithered over one of her arms, looking at her worriedly. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"Aside from my pride, no. I'll be fine."

"Good. We better partner up and keep going then. The gate shouldn't be far off now."

"Right..." she said, getting back on her feet. She gave one last glare in the direction of the blind tiger, then dashed off after Viper.

* * *

 _"It's a battle of the birds up in the treetops! Just don't you go getting ME involved! You knock one feather out of place and I'll SQUAWK- I mean sue!_

Crane and Monkey were now having to contend not only with the traps, but with other competitors. "These guys really want to knock us out of the game, don't they?" Monkey asked, kicking an attacking falcon in the beak. The bird slammed into a tree and plummeted to the Earth.

"We _are_ the most famous masters in China," Crane replied, dodging around a hawk with bladed talons. "I guess they're trying to take us now out before we become a threat later." He grabbed the hawk in his talons and threw him into an owl that tried to attack from above. This wasn't a battle they had come out of unscathed. Monkey had gotten a few more slashes from the attackers' talons, while Crane had lost more than a couple feathers. But their troubles were nearly over.

"I think I see it!" Monkey shouted excitedly. Off in the distance, the forest opened up again, and they could both clearly see the wooden gate that awaited them. "Come on Crane, let's go!" Monkey swung off the next branch and jumped down to the forest floor.

"H-Hey, wait up!" Crane shouted, diving after his eager friend.

* * *

Dun the pangolin was known for his calm attitude and incredible patience, but even his patience had its limit, and Po had just reached it. "I. Am not! A RIDE!"

He suddenly halted on the spot, and Po's momentum immediately sent him flying off the pangolin and onto the ground. Dun continued to roll forward and Po didn't have enough time to get out of the way before he barreled into his rear. "Owowowowow, friction burn!" Like a rickshaw hitting a rock, Dun was finally vaulted over the panda and landed in front of him. He paid him no more heed and sped off.

 _"Order up for steamed buns, SQUAWK!"_

Mantis winced as Po got back up, hopping from foot to foot as he clutched his buttocks and yelped in pain. "That should be illegal! Come on Mantis, let's go after him!" He took off running in pursuit of the pangolin.

"You know that's the way we were going anyway, right?" Getting no response, Mantis just shook his head and followed him.

* * *

"There it is!" Viper shouted, grinning widely as she spotted the gate. "You think we're the first ones here?"

"I doubt it," Tigress said, knowing that at least one other competitor must have beaten her here. "But winning is winning. Let's go!" The two masters broke the edge of the forest and rushed out accompanied by the screams of the crowd. The gate was in sight and there was nothing left standing between it and them.

Or so they thought.

Just as they were about to make a jump for the lever, a giant figure rolled in out of nowhere, swinging an arm that caught both masters and knocked them back. They looked up at it, eyes wide.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," Tigress growled.

They readied themselves as they faced off with their new challenger. The huge wooden machine that stood in front of them was built to resemble an ox, with four arms that each wielded a menacing battle axe. They already knew that the mechanism was controlled from the inside by workers because they had seen this exact machine before.

Viper squinted her eyes. "Wait a minute, isn't that...?"

 _"The Wu Xing Tournament would like to take this time to thank Grandmaster Shifu of the Jade Palace for lending us the Juggernaut. This wooden monstrosity should certainly liven things up a bit SQUAWK!"_

"He did _what?!"_ Tigress shouted.

* * *

Up in the stands, the Emperor shot Shifu a quizzical look. "They said they wanted some of our training equipment to help save funding for the tournament," he admitted, putting a paw to his face. "It's just my luck that it would be my own students that have to deal with it."

"That's always how it happens, isn't it?" the lion chuckled.

* * *

"Okay, now what?" Viper asked.

"That should be obvious," Tigress said, cracking her knuckles. "If we want to reach the gate, we have to go through this thing first."

A low rumbling sound came to their ears and they looked back to see Dun emerging from the forest after them. He rolled straight past the two masters and towards the gate. The Juggernaut took a swing at him, but the axe didn't even make a dent in his natural armor. The pangolin passed the wooden warrior, not stopping until he reached the lever. Unfurling at last, Dun pulled the lever and paused just long enough to give a slight nod to Tigress and Viper before passing through the gate.

 _"Proving that the best offense is indeed a good defense, Dun has completed the Trial of Wood SQUAWK!"_

"Not necessarily," Viper noted dryly.

"You're right," Tigress nodded. "Dismantling this thing would waste too much time. I'll distract it. You go through the gate next."

"What?! But Tigress-!" The feline ignored her and rushed straight at the Juggernaut. As the machine swung at her, she jumped on top of its outstretched limb, then on top of its head, grabbing it by the horns. "Go!" she yelled to Viper.

Knowing that trying to convince Tigress against a course of action would be as futile as getting Po to skip lunch, Viper made a beeline right for the lever. The Juggernaut tried to bring down an arm on top of her, but Tigress swung down on one of its horns and kicked the arm away, giving the snake safe passage. Yanking down the lever with her tail, Viper gave a nervous glance to Tigress and silently wished her luck, then went through the gate.

 _"A noble effort by Master Tigress, and Viper makes it through SQUAWK! But will her sacrifice be in vain?"_

"What do _you_ think?!" Tigress kicked off the Juggernaut's head and landed in front of it. She growled and assumed her tiger stance, ready to fight this thing to the death if she had to.

Thankfully, she didn't. "SHAKABOOEY!" Po made a dramatic leap over head and belly-slammed straight into the Juggernaut. The machine was rocketed back and slammed into the wall of the arena. "Alright Tigress, your turn!"

"But-"

"Don't even think about arguing with him," Mantis said, hopping on the panda's shoulder. "He's in an extra determined mood today."

"...Fine." Tigress figured this made up for the Reidak incident anyway. She ran over to pull the lever and was through the gate before the Juggernaut managed to recover.

 _"And Master Tigress completes the first trial SQUAWK! Come on, is anyone really surprised?"_

"You're next, big guy!" Mantis shouted, and jumped off of Po's shoulder. He landed a flying kick on one of the machine's hands, knocking the axe out of it, but this victory was short-lived as it grabbed him instead. "Okay, didn't think that through."

"Mantis!" Po was about to come to his aid when Monkey shot out of the forest instead and struck the arm, forcing it to release his friend. The machine rounded on both of them and raised its arms to strike.

"Wings of Justice!" A gust of wind even more powerful than Xingfu's hit the Juggernaut and threw it against the arena wall again. The machine already looked greatly damaged and it couldn't take much more abuse.

The trio of Crane, Monkey, and Mantis landed between Po and the Juggernaut and took up their stances. "Seriously Po, get a move on. We'll handle this," Mantis affirmed.

Po smiled and gave them a thumbs up. "Sweet moves, guys! See you on the other side." Po ran past the Juggernaut , which didn't even bother trying to stop him, and headed through the gate.

 _"The Dragon Warrior completes the trial! Thank the gods for that! If HE didn't make it, we would've lost half our audience SQUAWK!"_

"You're not getting away from me!" The three remaining masters turned around briefly as Xingfu came cartwheeling out of the forest. She took one leap over the stunned trio, vaulted off the Juggernaut's head, and landed in front of the gate. She smiled and waved to them, then went through.

 _"And like any true stalker, Xingfu is right behind him SQUAWK! Sorry Dragon Warrior, but one of those forms you filled out was NOT a restraining order!"_

It took a few seconds for the masters to register all this.

"...Okay Mantis, you know the drill. We'll handle it," Crane said.

"Forget it. No one makes a fool out of me, especially not a piece of outdated training equipment. You two go. I've got a score to settle." Mantis narrowed his eyes at the Juggernaut.

Crane and Monkey looked between each other uneasily. "Uh...are you sure about that?" Monkey asked.

"Absolutely. This thing's going down!"

Looking between each other again, the other two masters shrugged. Crane lifted Monkey into his talons again and carried him straight over the Juggernaut. They landed beside the gate and each made their way through.

 _"Crane and Monkey have made it through, but the last of the Furious Five has decided to stand his ground SQUAWK! Ladies and gentlemen, I think we're in for quite a treat!"_

Paired up against the hulking form of the Juggernaut, Master Mantis looked completely outmatched. Of course, he was used to such battles, and he was more than prepared to handle them.

The Juggernaut wheeled forward and swung two of its axes down into the spot where Mantis had just been standing. The insect had left the spot a split second earlier and was now standing on the handles of both axes, glaring up at his wooden adversary. "Fear the bug."

Jumping between both arms, Mantis struck several points along the wooden frames. Machines didn't exactly have nerve points like organic beings, but they were built similarly enough that they could be disabled in the same manner. Just a firm poke to a few key points and...

Mantis smirked at his handiwork as both arms shook and fell apart on the spot. If the Juggernaut had a jaw, it would have dropped.

But the machine recovered quickly and swung at him again, this time with horizontal swings. Mantis dodged backwards to avoid the swings, but as he ducked under one, the Juggernaut surprised him by taking the risk of trying to bring an axe down on him again. Mantis wasn't fast enough to dodge it this time and was forced to catch the arm instead. Most insects would be squashed instantly, but Mantis's disproportionate strength allowed him to hold it back, though not without effort.

As he tried to decide on another plan of attack, he became aware of a sound coming from behind. It was a low rumble, like when Dun had emerged earlier, except that this was much more intense, and growing ever louder.

As Mantis struggled against the titanic arm, a large group of competitors suddenly rushed out of the forest. With the Juggernaut occupied, they sped right past Mantis and headed through the gate one by one, not even sparing him a second glance. "Yeah, you're welcome guys. Screw you too."

 _"Woah! A veritable stampede of competitors has just arrived SQUAWK! Don't worry slackers, there's still plenty of room in the winner's circle!"_

The last one to pass through was the elderly Lao Pi, who at least gave him the recognition of a grimace before going on his way.

"Okay, that's it!" Mantis growled and shoved the arm back. Before the Juggernaut could react, Mantis jumped up and delivered a powerful kick to the underside of its chin. The Juggernaut was thrown onto its back and its remaining arms flailed about helplessly as the workers inside struggled in vain to get back up.

 _"Wowzers! A truly spectacular performance by Master Mantis! Now all he needs to do is claim his well-earned victory SQUAWK!"_

Mantis wasn't the most humble of the Five and he raised a foreleg into the air in triumph as the crowd cheered him on. "Thank you everyone! Don't worry, I'll give you an even better show next time!" He jumped up onto the lever by the gate and pulled down.

It didn't budge.

His eyes widened.

 _"...Well I guess that's what happens when you keep letting everyone else go first! Don't worry Master Mantis, if you're still around in another fifty years, you can always try again SQUAWK!"_

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed, pulling on the lever again and again to no avail. "Come on, that's not fair!"

Chaonao continued, seemingly oblivious to Mantis's screaming in the background. _"And with that, the Trial of Wood has officially come to a close SQUAWK! Hope all of your favorites made it through, and I'll see you fine people next time for the second trial! This has been Chaonao, signing off SQUAWK!"_ The parrot gave a small bow to the audience and flew away.

* * *

"Well... _most_ of them made it through," the Emperor tried to reassure Shifu, who was staring down at the arena bitterly.

"Yes, and I am quite pleased about that." He looked back down at Mantis again, who was still going to town on the lever, "Though I do wish my student would learn how to lose with dignity."

* * *

"Poor Mantis," Monkey said, unable to decide if this was really tragic or really hilarious.

"He'll get over it," Tigress said unsympathetically. "The important thing is that the rest of us made it. Now let's scout out the competition while we have the chance."

Po, the Five-er Four, and the other fifteen competitors that had completed the Trial of Wood, were all assembled on the opposite side of the arena from where they began. It was just like their assembly before, except that there were much less of them and they all looked noticeably worse for wear. And it would only get harder from here. Now that the weaker challengers were eliminated, what remained would be stiff competition indeed.

There were a few unfamiliar faces, understandable given the obscene number they had started with, but they still recognized several of them. There was of course Dun, who had tanked his way right through the whole thing. Next to him was Lao Pi, muttering bitterly to himself about the youth of today. Viper briefly caught sight of Yin Bei standing off by herself, but the hare seemed determined not to make eye contact with her. Standing behind her was, to Po's great horror, Xingfu.

"Oh yeah, we forgot to mention she came through right after you did," Viper said apologetically.

Tigress had also taken notice of Reidak and quickly went up to him. "Just so you know, you won't get that lucky next time."

He just smiled back at her. "I look forward to finding that out."

"ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP!"

"Ugh, I know that booming voice from anywhere," Monkey groaned.

Master Bludgeoning Rhino emerged from the rear of the group and once again called everyone to attention. "I know you all must be feeling really proud of yourselves for completing your hike through the woods, but now I'm going to set the record straight and tell you who is actually worthy of recognition here!" He pulled a scroll out from behind his back and unfurled it. "I have here the list of who placed what rank in this race! As stated before, the one who placed first wins an advantage for the second trial!"

"Who cares? I know it's not any of us," Monkey muttered to himself, making Viper smack him with her tail.

Rhino proceeded to read out the names from the list. The Jade Palace masters were pleased to note that none of them had fallen below the top ten. Except for one of course. "Ugh. I can't believe Mantis let _half_ of the winning competitors pass him," Tigress said, slapping her forehead.

"Coming in 10th place: Monkey." The simian pumped his fist.

"9th place: Crane." He smiled and nodded.

"8th place: Xingfu." The vixen grinned widely while Po shuddered.

"7th place: That flabby excuse for a Dragon Warrior." Po's shudder turned into a glare.

"6th place: Tigress." She huffed and crossed her arms, somewhat disappointed in herself.

"5th place: Viper." The snake did a little jump into the air and grinned.

"4th place: Dun." The pangolin had no reaction whatsoever.

"3rd place: Yin Bei." The hare gasped a little, as if shocked she had done so well.

"2nd place: Reidak." He just frowned a bit.

Tigress had more of a reaction than he did. "What?! If _he_ didn't make it here first, then who did?!"

"That would be me."

The group collectively gasped as a familiar face sauntered up. Standing there in front of them, casually examining his claws, was Kuai.

"B-But that's impossible..." Po stammered. "You were the first one caught! How did you beat all of us?!"

"I told you already," Kuai smirked. "Cheetah feet can't be beat." With no further explanation, he turned on his heel and walked off, chuckling to himself.

"That's right," Master Rhino said, looking about as pleased as the rest of them. "Kuai has won the advantage for the second trail, which will begin in two days time. We'll send you the location. NOW GET OUT!"

It was the most abrupt dismissal any of them had ever gotten, but they wasted no time in complying. The twenty remaining competitors of the Wu Xing Tournament rushed back to their respective homes.

After which, they immediately flopped into bed.

* * *

 _The Juggernaut, also known as the Iron Ox, is from the first Kung Fu Panda. It is the machine that Tigress is set to fight at the event to choose the Dragon Warrior. It's barely seen in the film, but is actually fought in the video game adaptation and, well, here._

 _If anyone's a little confused by what happened during Mantis's scene, I see it like this: In most races with large numbers of people, what usually happens is that the best of the group all make it to the finish line quickly, then the average racers all get there at roughly the same time, then the slowpokes trail in at the back. That's basically what happened here, except in this case the slowpokes get kicked out completely. Sorry Mantis._


	9. Chapter 8: Information Gathering

As _you may have gathered, there's going to be a bit of an intermission between each trial. Don't worry, it's not just filler stuff. Things will happen here._

* * *

Chapter 8: Information Gathering

The Shushi Inn was a bustle of activity the morning after the first trial. Many competitors who didn't make the cut had already packed up and left, too proud to stay in the Valley after being publicly disgraced. Those that remained were celebrating their hard-won victory.

All except one.

The occupant of the dark room sighed to himself in contentment, pleased by his own performance that day. A small black-furred paw wrapped itself around a cup on the floor, raising it to his lips in a silent toast. He had assumed his new identity and made it through the first trial without being discovered. He was well on his way to completing his mission and no one suspected a thing.

Or did they?

His paw gripped the cup tightly. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. His tail kept twitching uncontrollably, an instinct that he had learned to trust in situations like these. But what could it be?

Come to think of it, he had been expecting a certain coded message from his employers in Japan. It was not an important message, simply a final signal to officially begin his mission. That was the standard procedure. Clearly, the mission had begun because the tournament had begun, but he had never received this message. Most lesser spies would write this off as inconsequential, but not him. He didn't survive for as long as he had by taking meaningless risks.

He saw two possibilities. Either his employers trusted him enough that they saw no need for this message, or it had been intercepted. The former was very likely, but he would never discount the latter. If that message _had_ been intercepted, it would be easy for the Chinese to come to the conclusion that there was a spy in their midst. And if they had done that, there was the distinct possibility that someone was on to him. But who?

He set the cup back down, slowly drumming his claws against it. The most likely candidates would be those that lived in this region and knew it the best. That would be China's greatest masters, the Furious Five, and of course, the Dragon Warrior.

He chugged down the rest of his drink and stared into the empty cup thoughtfully.

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Shifu said slowly, "You decided to pick a fight with a piece of training equipment because it made you look bad, in the process allowing so many other competitors to pass you by that you got locked out of the gate. Is that correct?"

"Y-Yes, Master," Mantis bowed his head shamefully.

Shifu of course knew exactly what happened, as he had seen it for himself, but he was nothing if not thorough in his teaching. "Then I hope you have learned from your mistake. But in case you haven't, I want you to go up and down the thousand stairs fifty times before nightfall. That should give you plenty of time to reflect."

He gaped. "I'm being punished for _losing?_ "

"No. You are being punished for losing in a manner that has dishonored the Jade Palace, and by extension, myself. Now go!"

"Yes, Master..." If Mantis could sink any lower, he would have gone through the floor. He slunk away to begin his punishment.

Shifu nodded, satisfied. "Panda!" Po bolted up. "Your father wants you to come help him down at the noodle shop again. It seems the place is getting busier than ever." He muttered something incoherent about mahjong. "...so you're free to go for the day."

"Yes, Master." Po bowed and hurried out the door, not wanting to keep the goose waiting any more than his master. The rest of the Five watched him go sympathetically. They thought the usual crowd at the noodle shop was hectic, so they didn't even want to imagine what it was like now.

"What about the rest of us, Master?" asked Viper. "Should we just continue training as usual?"

"Not today. I have a special task for you all." He turned around and beckoned them to follow after him.

He led the group into one of the most underused rooms of the Jade Palace: the Archives. It was a room filled with shelves upon shelves of scrolls, tomes, maps, and another documents, of such a large volume that even Grandmaster Oogway himself never had the time and patience to read all of them. And it was updated by the week.

Shifu pointed his students to the expansive sea of knowledge lying before them. "As you are well aware, one of your opponents is not who they claim to be. But disguised as a stranger, you have no means of discerning fact from fiction. That is why I want all of you to spend the day studying up on the other masters you encountered in the tournament. The more information you can get on them, the better our chances will be of exposing this spy."

As the students looked upon the massive collection that awaited them, they found themselves starting to envy Mantis and Po.

* * *

Hours passed, then days, then weeks.

Actually, it had only been hours, but it might as well have been weeks. They had worked straight through most of the day, only taking the smallest of breaks to have lunch, then dinner. And even that felt so long ago now.

If there was any consolation to this mind-numbing, soul-crushing task, it was that they were at least turning up results. _"Master Spotted Blur,"_ Crane read aloud from a scroll on former Lee Da students. _"A master known for the invention and mastery of the powerful Fleetfoot technique, allowing the user to move at super-speed through the power of their chi alone. He is also known for his abrasive personality and dirty tactics, making him one of the less popular masters to come out of the academy._ That sound familiar to anyone else?"

"Master Spotted Blur," Tigress rolled her eyes. "Could Kuai have possibly come up with a more obnoxious title?"

"At least now we know how he managed to win the race," Crane said. "Fleetfoot...I swear I've heard about that somewhere before."

"Hey, check it out, I think I found Dun," said Monkey, reading from the same collection as Crane. _"Master Rolling Fortress, a master with an even stronger absolute defense than the late Master Thundering Rhino. Rolling Fortress has trained his natural armor to the point that he can deflect nearly any attack without even trying, which has given him an extremely relaxed and indifferent attitude about pretty much everything. He is a close associate of Master Spotted Blur, and they both graduated Lee Da together under Master Golden Cat."_

Crane recognized that last title instantly. "They're _Mei Ling's_ students?!" His lower beak was going to fall off one day if he kept dropping it like this.

"Shame Po isn't here right now," Viper said. "He'd probably enjoy this."

"Yeah, he'd be like a little cub in a candy shop with all this new kung fu knowledge," Monkey chuckled.

"That's probably why Master Shifu sent him away before telling us about this," she said, skimming though another scroll. "It's okay, one of us can fill him in la-wait a minute!" Her eyes widened. _"Master Swift Hare, killed in a bandit raid by his own son. He is succeeded by his daughter, Yin Bei, who went on to defeat her brother under the tutelage of the great Master Rooster. Shortly thereafter, Rooster granted her the title of Master Silent Hare, now the sole master of the mysterious "Ten Limb" style_."

Viper shook her head sadly. "The poor girl. No wonder she's so timid." Her desire to befriend the snow hare increased exponentially.

"You know she could totally be the spy, right?" Monkey asked.

In one of her rare moments of anger, Viper's tail wrapped around his throat as the snake pulled him close to her face. "Don't even joke about that!"

"I hate to admit it, but he's right," Tigress said. "We can't afford to trust any of these people." Viper bit her lip and looked away, releasing Monkey in the process.

"What about you and your crush on Reidak?" The simian coughed, immediately earning him a scroll casing to the head.

"That is not a crush, I just want to crush him."

"Well I don't think we're going to get any info on _that_ guy," Crane said. "He's a foreigner after all. He's not going to have anything written about him here."

"I think it's safe to assume that a foreigner wouldn't disguise himself as another foreigner," Monkey shrugged, rubbing his head. "Unless he's trying to pull some kind of reverse psychology stunt."

"Now you're sounding like Po yourself." Tigress smirked as she opened another scroll. "Speaking of which: _Master Twirling Fox, a feminine warrior who has mastered the bladed war fan. She is as beautiful as she is dangerous, but her sights are only set on one person, the legendary Dragon Warrior. It's rumored that she even has a personal shrine to him, consisting of drawings, action figures, legends, and...fur samples."_

"So she's a crazy fangirl. Did we really need a scroll to tell us that?" Monkey asked. He looked down at the scroll that had opened when it struck him. "Woah, who's _this_ guy?"

The rest of the Five crowded around him curiously. On the scroll was a sketch of another master, an incredibly buff simian in grey robes crouched down in a Monkey stance. Crane rubbed his beak in thought. "Weird. He looks kinda familiar. You don't know him?" It was typical for masters of a particular style to learn about other famous masters of that style, in order to assist in their training. For Monkey to not know about this guy, he was either really obscure, or really old.

"I don't. Let's see what it says about him. _Master Golden Gibbon, once a bodyguard for the Imperial royal family. He was a legend whose sheer strength could topple buildings and make the oceans themselves part for him. He was also a trusted confidante for the family and was even rumored to have taught them kung fu. However, he suddenly disappeared one day while out on an important mission, and no one has seen him since."_

The four masters looked at each other, all thinking the same thing. "It couldn't be..." Crane said.

"That would be silly," Monkey laughed nervously.

"No way," Viper tried to smile.

"An Imperial bodyguard..." Tigress thought aloud. "I think we had better talk with his royal highness about this."

* * *

"Ugh...no...more...stairs."

It was almost nightfall now, and Mantis was on his last lap up the thousand stairs. Unfortunately, he was also on his last legs, making this particular lap at least ten times longer than the first few. He silently swore to himself that if he survived the rest of this climb, he would never make fun of Po's hatred towards stairs again.

Appropriately enough, he soon heard the panda in question climbing up next to him. Po still couldn't get up the stairs very quickly, but it was quick as lighting compared to his own pace right now. "Hey Mantis, are you still doing-okay yeah, yes you are," he amended as the bug turned to glare at him.

"What's...up...Po?"

"My Dad just let me off noodle duty for the night, so I'm heading back up to see what the guys are up to." He scratched the back of his head nervously. "You, uh...don't want me to carry you the rest of the way up, do you?"

Mantis wanted to say yes. He really, REALLY wanted to. "No...Shifu could...catch you...punish you too...just...go..."

Po frowned, but nodded. "If you say so, buddy. I'll meet you up there, I guess."

Mantis watched Po quickly ascend the rest of the stairs, already regretting his decision.

* * *

"So what is it you wanted to ask of me?" The Emperor smiled warmly as he joined the Five in their "reading room". His guards didn't even bother following him in. If anyone could get past the Jade Palace masters, what good would _they_ be?

"Yes, we were wondering you knew this guy." Monkey passed the scroll over to the lion.

The Emperor looked over the scroll, becoming more and more interested with each sentence. "Master Golden Gibbon...yes, I do remember him. I was only a young prince at the time, so I can't give you too much information, but I recall the way he stood next to my father. Hardened, passionate, as if he would gladly die for our family if he had the choice."

"Sounds like he might've," Monkey voiced without thinking, causing Viper to smack him.

"We noticed that he bares a strong resemblance to a certain competitor in the tournament," Tigress explained. "An aged gibbon named Lao Pi."

This news clearly came as a shock to him, making the Five second-guess themselves a bit. "I suppose it is possible," he admitted. "But why would Master Gibbon come back after all these years, when he was believed to be dead, just to enter this tournament? It makes no sense."

"It is only a theory," Tigress reassured him. "What _I'm_ wondering is, what was this 'important mission' he was on when he disappeared?"

He looked down at the ground solemnly. "I wish I could tell you. Whatever it was, it was secret enough to keep even from me. I recall asking my father about it once, but he refused to tell me. I'll admit that as the years went by, I forgot about him completely." He sighed in regret. "Could he really be alive...?"

Before anyone else could give their insight on this new mystery, a loud gasping noise came from behind them. The group turned to see an extremely exhausted Master Mantis crawl into the room. "I...finally...made...it...WOO!" He collapsed on the spot.

"Leave it to Mantis to spoil the mood," Tigress remarked.

Viper rushed over to where the bug fell and gently lifted him back up with her tail. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah...just surprised...I'm still alive...is all." He wobbled back onto his legs, but it looked as if a stiff breeze could topple him again. "So what are...you guys...up to?"

"Just doing a little research," Tigress said shortly. "We're trying to find some leads on our spy."

As Mantis looked up at her, he took notice of the Emperor in the room. His eyes widened for just a split second, then returned to normal. "Do you...have any?"

"Master Mantis!" The bug cringed as Shifu suddenly appeared behind him. "I'm pleased to see your dedication to the team, but now you need your rest. We will fill you in on everything tomorrow."

Mantis seemed as if he were about to protest, but almost fell down again and relented. "Yes Master..." He shambled past Shifu and towards the students barracks.

Shifu turned back to the rest of his students. "Now then, please inform me of what you have uncovered."

"Yes, Master!" they said simultaneously.

* * *

"I...finally...made...it...WOO!"

Mantis pulled himself up over the final stair and flopped onto his back, desperately trying to catch his breath. He just had to make sure he wasn't going to have a heart attack, then he would move...eventually.

A large orange foot came down next to his head, and he looked up to see Tigress staring down at him. "I see you've made it back."

"Thanks...for the...support." Mantis gasped out. "Here to...drag me in?"

"Sorry, that's on your head," she said bluntly. "I'm just going to run down to the village quick. Po forgot something back at the noodle shop. When you're able to move again, Master Shifu said you should go straight to bed." She got on all fours and bounded down the steps to the village.

"Like I...was planning...to do...otherwise." Tigress was out of earshot before he even got to 'was'. Against the protests of his aching body, Mantis got back up and headed for the barracks.

Whatever happened while he was gone, he could deal with it tomorrow.

* * *

 _I'll admit up front, the idea of having cool master titles for everyone did not come to me until just recently. And with that, I came up with the idea for this chapter. For the record, these little excerpts will not be the full extent of the OC backstories. They're just here to whet your appetite a little for when I go more in-depth later. (Oh, and apologies to Reidak for shafting him a bit in this chapter.)_

 _Those who have read my previous KFP stories will recognize the Fleetfoot technique from On Their Own. Now you know where it came from._


	10. Chapter 9: Face to Face

_Glad to see most of you were confused by the ending of last chapter, or just didn't notice anything strange at all. It lets me know that I wasn't making things too obvious. All will become clear now._

* * *

Chapter 9: Face to Face

"Po! Another order of dumplings at table 5!"

"Got it, Dad!"

This was, without a doubt, the busiest day in the history of Dragon Warrior Noodles & Tofu. There were so many new visitors to the Valley wanting to eat at the Dragon Warrior's restaurant that not only was the building packed, but the waiting line extended out of the shop and down several streets. Po was a little bummed at first about missing training again, but at this point, he was sure that no amount of training could be more grueling than what he was doing right now. Passing out four more orders for bean buns, three for noodles, and one for soup and tofu, Po was desperate for a break.

He eventually got one, but in a form he wasn't quite expecting. "Po, Master Tigress is here!"

In his shock, Po nearly poured soup onto a perfectly good plate of dumplings. "W-What?! Really?!" Even if she did occasionally eat with the others at the shop now, she had never come to visit him by herself. This was a special occasion indeed.

"Hello, Po," Tigress smiled at him from the entrance of the shop. Mr. Ping quickly beckoned her in and gave her the next available seat, much to the displeasure of some of the visiting guests. He then immediately shoved Po into the opposite seat and asked for their orders, seemingly forgetting that Po was supposed to be helping him.

Po had the feeling his dad was trying to tell him something.

"So…Tigress…what are you doing here?" Po asked awkwardly as his dad left. "I-I mean, not that I have a problem with it or anything, it's just kind of weird…"

"It's weird for someone to want to visit their friend at his workplace?"

"N-No!" Man, was he screwing this up. "I-I-just, uh, it's nice to see you."

She smiled again. "That's better. If you really want to know, I just came down here to tell you what's been going on." Taking a glance around at the heavily-packed room, she leaned in close. "We were doing some research on our opponents. Trying to see if we could spot anyone 'unusual'."

"Ah, I gethca," Po grinned, winking. " _Unnuuuusuuualll."_

"Po, it defeats the purpose if you say it like that."

Mr. Ping came back and delivered their orders, abnormally fast. He set down a bowl of noodles and dumplings for Po and, surprise surprise, a single cup of tea for Tigress. "Anyway, I'm curious if you think there's anyone we should look out for in particular," she said, taking a sip from her tea.

"You're asking _me?_ " Po asked, mouth full of noodles. He quickly slurped up the last one and swallowed. "I don't know, I'm not exactly the sharpest sword on the rack, if you get my drift."

"Nonsense Po, I value your input as much as anyone else's." She stared at him deeply, expectedly. "So tell me. What do you think?"

* * *

"Salvation…"

The end was in sight. All Mantis had to do now was slide open the door to his room and climb into bed. Then he could forget all about this horrible day and just rest. Rest for a long, long time.

Or rather, rest until Master Shifu came and woke him up. There was no time to waste.

"Hey, Mantis!" The bug swore to himself and he turned his bloodshot eyes to glare at whoever dared to keep him from his sleep. "Don't look at me like that," Monkey laughed. "I didn't expect you to still be up. You _must_ be tired if it took you this long to get back to your room."

Mantis rolled his eyes, about to shut the door in his face, when he noticed that Monkey wasn't alone. The rest of the Five were following right behind him. All of them.

Exhausted as he was, his curiosity got the best of him. "Tigress…you're back?"

The feline looked puzzled. "What do you mean 'back'? Back from where?"

"Back from…" Mantis trailed off as he noticed the distinct lack of a panda anywhere in sight. "Oh crap."

So much for a good night's sleep.

* * *

"Uhhh…"

Po felt strangely uncomfortable. All Tigress was asking for was his opinion, and here he was freezing up. What kind of Dragon Warrior couldn't answer a simple question? He just needed to come up with something. Anything!

Oh, and he had to look cool doing it. That was important.

"I got it!" He yelled dramatically, slamming his fist down on the table. Startled, Tigress dropped her tea, and the steaming hot beverage spilled over her resting paw.

She hissed in pain and clutched her burnt paw. "Oh geez, I'm so sorry!" Po said frantically, his face flushing with embarrassment. "I didn't mean to…hurt…"

" _I used to punch the ironwood tress by the palace to train. Now, I feel nothing."_

"Wait a minute…" his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I thought you couldn't feel-"

The "Tigress" sitting across from him suddenly kicked their table up into his face and took off. The dumplings poured over him and he opened his mouth to catch them before racing off in pursuit. No sense letting them got to waste.

"Sorry Dad, be right back!" he called out, wincing at his father's outcry over the property damage.

"Tigress" shoved a family of pigs out of her way as she escaped through the packed entrance. Taking a moment to exit a bit more politely, Po saw the impostor race down a nearby alleyway and continued after her. He knew he was already falling behind. This would be so much easier with a rickshaw.

Luckily for him, the alleyway the fake had chosen led to a dead end and he soon cornered her. "What's wrong? Don't quite have the Valley mapped out yet, Ms. Spy?"

"Tigress" growled at him and reached into her pocket for something. Po flinched as an object came flying at him and caught it instinctively. He raised an eyebrow as he saw what it was. "You're trying to stop me with a _leaf? Seriously?"_

The feline face smirked and there was a puff of smoke as the leaf in his paw suddenly turned into a lit firework.

"Gah!" Po screamed as the firework blew up in his face. Coughing and covered in ash, he opened his eyes to see "Tigress" climb up onto the rooftops. Po climbed up after her with considerably more effort. He couldn't even keep up with the real Tigress, and this phony was at least as fast as her.

Seeing Po still in pursuit, "Tigress" spun around and threw a whole horde of leaves at him, which quickly turned into a horde of shuriken. Po dodged around the projectiles as best he could, but a few hit their mark and left small gashes on his body. Wincing in pain, he saw the impostor continue to widen the gap between them.

"Okay, that's it pal! You're gonna be the spy of a thousand _bruises_ by the time I'm done with you!" Po leapt high into the air and came back down with a well-placed belly flop onto the roof. The roof tiles rippled as the resulting shockwave passed through them. "Tigress" only had the time to look back in shock before the shockwave bowled her over. She tumbled along the surface a few times and skidded to the edge of the roof, where Po finally caught up to her.

"Ready to give up yet? Because I'm just getting star-woah."

The impostor slowly rose to their feet, staring at him emotionlessly. If that weren't creepy enough, the usual amber eyes of Tigress were replaced with dark brown ones, surrounded by a black facial mask. "Not bad, Dragon-kun," he said, now speaking in a deep monotone voice with a distinct Japanese accent.

As Po took a moment to regain his composure, he became aware of several figures approaching from behind. A second later, the Furious Five were standing next to him. "We've got you now, spy of a thousand scents!" Tigress snarled at her doppelganger.

"Such a ridiculous name," he replied, "If you must refer to my person, you may call me Danzaburo."

Po and the Five shared surprised looks with each other. "You're pretty bold, just telling us your name like that."

"You think it will help you, Tigress-san?" Danzaburo smiled cruelly. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't give out information that I can't afford to lose."

"No problem. Once we bring you in, we can get all the information we need," said Viper.

Danzaburo raised an orange-furred paw and closed it. When it opened up again, he was holding a grey sphere. "I look forward to watching you try."

He dropped the sphere and an intense light enveloped him, blinding the masters.

"Oh no you don't!" Crane yelled as he took to the sky. His eyes were better than his landbound companions and his vision recovered quickly enough to spot Danzaburo taking off down another alleyway below. "Over there!"

The spy smirked to himself, which vanished when he found Monkey, Mantis, and Crane standing in his way. He turned around and saw Po, Tigress, and Viper on the other side, surrounding him completely.

"That a good enough try for you?" Tigress growled as she stepped forward and threw a punch at her counterpart.

She hit nothing but air.

To everyone's shock, the false Tigress burst into smoke as the real one struck, and a single leaf floated slowly to the ground. Tigress picked up the leaf and squinted as she saw a single word written on it in kanji. She knew just enough Japanese to know what it said.

 _Sayonara_

Tigress crushed the leaf in her paw and reared her head back, unleashing a roar of pure and utter rage.

* * *

After their bitter defeat that night, the Jade Palace masters all elected to grab a quick bite at Dragon Warrior Noodles & Tofu before heading to bed. No one wanted to call it "comfort food", but that's basically what it was.

"I don't get it. When did he escape?" asked Monkey, taking a bite out of a bean bun.

Tigress put down her tea. "Remember that flash bomb he used on us? When no one could see him for a few seconds? _That's_ when he escaped. The one we caught afterwards was just a decoy." She spoke calmly, but her claws raking into the wood were a good indication of how she really felt.

Mantis, both tired and starving, was gorging himself on a bowl of soup. "So, just to clarify, that 'Po' I met on the stairs was also Danzaburo?"

"As was the 'Mantis' we met in the Archives," Crane nodded.

"Ugh, this shapeshifter stuff is making my head hurt," Po groaned. "I liked the bad guys more when we just had to beat them up."

"He's pretty balsy, I'll give him that," Mantis said. "I mean, just waltzing into the Jade Palace with you guys, Shifu, _and_ the Emperor there? That takes guts."

Tigress slammed her paws down on the table. "Don't compliment him! He's the enemy!"

"Okay guys, let's just calm down here," Po said, acting as team mediator. "We've been through a lot tonight, mistakes were made, so let's just forget all about this for now and go rest up."

The Five agreed reluctantly to let it go for now as they finished their meal. But no one could forget about it. Danzaburo had made fools of all of them tonight, and it was clear that they needed more than just research to catch him.

They needed a plan.

* * *

 _Perhaps I should've named this chapter "Pronoun Troubles". Writing that chase scene was way more annoying than it should have been…_

 _He finally gets a name! Danzaburo is based off of a Japanese mythological figure by the same name. If you're familiar with that myth, you probably have a pretty good idea of at least WHAT we're dealing with here (not that it's particularly hard to figure out at this point). He also takes some inspiration from "The Phantom" in Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Dual Destinies. While I don't usually give my characters themes, I will say that "Phantom – UNKNOWN" fits Danzaburo pretty damn well._

 _For those not familiar with Japanese honorifics, "san" is a general term used to refer to someone of the same social station (like "Mr." or "Ms."), while "kun" can refer to either a young boy or be used derogatively for a grown man. So yes, he's basically calling Po "Dragon Boy"._


	11. Chapter 10: The Trial of Water

_It's time to begin the second trial already. That went by fast, huh? Another big announcement to make. There will be two more OC's debuting in this chapter and frankly I think I've reached my limit with the amount of competitors I can handle. So this is the official cutoff point for competitor OC's. However, if you still want an OC in this story, just PM me and I'll get them to appear in some way shape or form._

* * *

Chapter 10: The Trial of Water

The remaining day before the second trial wasn't nearly as eventful as the last. As expected, Grandmaster Shifu and the son of heaven were less than pleased about what had occurred the previous night.

"This is troubling indeed," Shifu said, pacing back and forth. "So the spy of a thousand scents, this Danzaburo, knows that we're on to him now?"

"And he knows that I'm helping you," the Emperor added. "Unbelievable. He was right there in front of us and we had no idea."

"It appears we have taken our foe too lightly. If he is capable of deception of this caliber, we must be on alert at all times. First off, no one goes off on their own outside the tournament unless absolutely necessary. We can't have him fooling us like that again." No one was brave enough to point out that it was Shifu who had split them up in the first place.

"But these are only defensive measures," the Emperor argued. "We'll never catch him at his rate."

"If I may be so bold, I believe we need a better plan, Your Highness," Tigress said, bowing with the rest of the masters. "If he knows we're after him, that means we don't have to be as subtle in our approach. I think it's time we went all-out on this guy."

"I agree," he smiled. "Fortunately, I already have an idea." Everyone present perked up at this.

"Ooh, is this about that Master Golden Gibbon?" Po asked excitedly. The panda had already been filled in on the research uncovered by the Five and, predictably, he thought it was all really, really, cool.

"Yes, Dragon Warrior. I am most certainly intrigued by what has become of my old friend. I am going to send an envoy back to the Imperial City. My scholars there will uncover all they can about Master Gibbon and what he was up to when he disappeared. It will be difficult to dredge it up, but I've let this issue sit for far too long as it is. With this new information, I will also ask them to look for any mention of a 'Danzaburo'. With any luck, we might just find something on him that he isn't aware of. Then _we'll_ have the advantage again!"

Spoken like a true politician. He was an emperor all right.

"Very well then," Shifu smiled, slightly more optimistic now. "In the meantime, you will all resume your regular training. The second trial is tomorrow, so no slacking!"

"Yes, Master!"

Mantis raised an arm. "Hey, since I'm not in the tournament anymore, can I get the day off?"

Shifu's stern glare answered his question better than any words could. "…Understood, Master."

* * *

"So where are we heading this time?" asked Po, arms behind his head as he walked. It was now the morning of the second trial and everyone was eager to find out what was in store for them next. Eager, and also slightly terrified.

"The tournament official that stopped by told us it would be at the Lake of Tears," said Crane.

"Where's that?"

"It's that swampy place on the outskirts of the Valley," Monkey explained. "We had to go there once to rescue these tortoise eggs from some crocodiles."

"Eugh, that doesn't sound very fun."

"It wasn't."

"I don't know," Viper said. "I think it's a pretty nice place."

"Of course you do. You're a reptile," Monkey countered.

There were a few moments of silence, and then…

"Are we there yet?" Po asked impatiently.

"Don't even start that!" Tigress snapped.

"Actually…we are." Crane pointed to a giant lake on the horizon.

"That was just a coincidence," Tigress said, seeing the smirk on Po's face. "It isn't going to work every time." She walked off, followed by the rest of the Five.

"Only one way to find out," Po snickered, trailing behind.

* * *

The Lake of Tears was as dreary as expected. It consisted of swampy marshland and wooden shacks that made up a small community of tortoises. All of this surrounded the lake itself, which didn't look the least bit inviting with its dark waters and abundance of algae. In the absence of an actual arena this time, large stands had been erected around the perimeter of the lake, looking completely out of place in this environment. In the center of the lake, a series of lotus blossoms had been expertly placed to form a giant Chinese character:"水".

No points for guessing what the next trial would be.

"ALRIGHT YOU PUNKS, OVER HERE!"

They all groaned at the obnoxiously familiar voice of Master Bludgeoning Rhino. One trial in and they were already sick of him.

Po and the Five (sans Mantis) lined up with the other competitors coming in. Soon, the twenty of them were all assembled once again in front of Master Rhino. "I bet you all thought the first trial was a piece of cake, didn't you?" he asked.

Not a single one of them thought that. Except perhaps Dun, but his complete lack of a reaction made it hard to tell.

"Well we're not going easy on you this time! This is the Trial of Water!" He gestured out to the massive lake behind him. "For this trial, you are all going to dive into the lake in search of tortoise eggs."

Monkey slapped his forehead. "Aw, not again!"

"But I didn't bring any swimwear!" Xingfu protested.

"I didn't bring any swimwear," Rhino imitated mockingly. "You're kung fu masters, aren't you?! Make do with what you've got! Or don't. It makes no difference to me. But you'll have more to worry about than wet clothes, you can trust me on that."

"You didn't fill the lake with ravenous sharks, did you?" Po asked worriedly.

"Probably more booby-traps like last time," Tigress said.

"No, and no," Rhino answered. "Though the sharks are a good idea. I'll have to remember that." Crane reached over and smacked the panda on the back of the head. "As a matter of fact, there are no obstacles in this lake whatsoever."

This got baffled looks from everyone. "Alright, what's the catch?" Kuai asked.

"Nothing much," he shrugged, deceptively innocent. "Just that there are only ten eggs total."

"Why, you evil-!"

The implication was clear. Only half of them would pass this trial.

"What about those of us who can't swim?" Crane asked, raising his wing. While he was capable of quick dives into the water, his kind simply wasn't built for prolonged aquatic travel.

He was half-expecting Rhino to kick him out on the spot, but he proved surprisingly accommodating. "That reminds me. I should point out that an egg only counts as collected once a competitor brings it safely onto shore."

"So what you're saying," Tigress narrowed her eyes, "is that those who can't go in the water should wait outside and ambush the other competitors before they can make it back to shore."

He put a hand to his chest, as if greatly offended. "I didn't say that."

"You implied it."

Rhino ignored her and turned around to face the lake. "One last thing. I shouldn't need to tell you that these eggs are very precious to the local villagers, and so _breaking_ one of them will result in an instant disqualification." He turned his head back over his shoulder and glared at them. "I shouldn't need to tell you that, right?"

Most of them hastily shook their heads. The rest were wondering if this was a test of morality, or if they just didn't want them breaking all the other eggs to cut down the competition.

"I'll leave you to your preparations. Chaonao will let you know when the trial begins." Rhino walked away and the competitors instantly kept their eyes and ears peeled for the green parrot of death.

Shortly thereafter, they heard a loud bell ring through the swampland, making most of them jump.

"Ow…" Po stuck a finger in his ear. "What was _that_ for?!"

"I think it's a signal for the spectators to start coming in," Monkey told him. "As you can imagine, most of them don't want to be hanging around this place any longer than they have to."

One competitor had a particularly adverse reaction to the bell. Tigress heard a loud growl coming from her left and she looked over to see Reidak on the ground, digging his claws tightly into the marsh. He seemed to be in immense pain.

But after this brief moment passed, the tiger regained his composure and wandered off like nothing happened. Naturally curious, Tigress went after him.

* * *

Since, like Xingfu, none of them had brought along any swimwear, the twenty competitors simply shed their shirts and/or shoes where applicable. Tigress slid off her sandals as she walked while Reidak also pulled off his vest. The sight of the tiger's bare chest was more than a little distracting, but Tigress firmly reminded herself to keep her discipline and focus on the mission.

"So what was _that_ all about?" she asked as she approached him. "Don't tell me you're afraid of bells."

Reidak looked away uncomfortably. "Nyet. It's…well, I'm sure you've noticed by now that I'm blind…"

"I might have," she said, with an expression similar to learning that Po was adopted.

"The thing is, my lack of eyesight has greatly strengthened my other senses. I can hear the heartbeats of people nearby or smell some guy's cologne from a li away. I was able to hone those abilities for the sake of my kung fu training and now I am more formidable than ever. As I'm sure you can attest to, da?"

"Da," she smirked.

"Unfortunately, the downside to this is that particularly strong stigma, such as loud noises or foul odors, can pretty much cripple me. That bell that went off nearly made me pass out."

Tigress frowned. She wasn't expecting something like that. And she certainly wasn't expecting one of her biggest rivals to so freely tell her such a severe weakness. Perhaps she could get more out of him. There was no information about Reidak in the Archives, so she considered it her sworn duty to collect it in person.

"If you don't mind me asking…how _did_ you lose your sight anyway?"

The Russian paused for a moment, visibly conflicted, but opened his mouth to answer.

"WOOHOO!" Po shouted, jumping between them. "You guys ready to get our fur wet? WOO!" He pumped both arms up in excitement.

This had the unfortunate side effect of giving both tigers a good whiff of panda pits. Tigress merely winced a little, but Reidak turned his head away and started to gag.

"Woah, what's wrong with him?" Po asked, cheerfully oblivious as usual.

"Po, could you please leave us alone for a minute?" Tigress asked politely, but with an undertone of murderous rage that he failed to pick up on.

"Uh…yeah, sure." He took off again.

"You okay?" Tigress asked Reidak, now just coughing a little.

"Spasibo…I'm fine. That just caught me by surprise."

"Po has a way of doing that. Anyway, you were saying…?"

"Right, about my blindness. It all started when-"

"Hey, wait a second!" Tigress grit her teeth as Po came back, clearly with some kind of death wish. She noticed that he was now barefoot. "I just wanted to know where I should put my shoes," he said, holding up the footwear in front of them. "Should I just stick them with yours or-?"

Reidak turned a sickly green and clamped a paw over his mouth, sprinting as fast as he could into the tall grass. The sounds of violent retching soon followed.

"Okay, now that's just rude," Po remarked.

"Nice work, Po," Tigress said icily and stormed off.

Po blinked, not entirely sure what just happened. "What'd I do…?"

* * *

"So you're staying out of the water, Crane?" Viper asked, delicately pulling off her flower ornaments and placing them on the ground. She didn't want to risk losing them in the lake somewhere.

"Yeah, I'll be better off staying on land and trying to snatch an egg from someone in the water. We avians are pretty adept at that. Actually, I'm surprised _you're_ going in."

"I may not be a water snake, but I think I can still pull it off," she smiled confidently.

"Just be careful," Crane warned. "At the end of the day, remember that this is still just a game. I don't want any of my friends drowning on me."

"We are all drowning," a low voice said.

Turning around, they saw a tortoise standing behind them. But it wasn't one of the residents of this region, they could tell that much just by looking at him.

The tortoise had a mostly black shell, dark grey in the front, while around his neck was a dark blue bead necklace. His scaly skin was unnaturally pale and his eyes, surrounded by dark eyeliner, were deep and sullen. As he slowly meandered past them, they could see the Chinese characters for winter (冬季) painted on the back of his shell.

"…We're all drowning?" Viper asked hesitantly.

"Yes. Drowning in the endless stream of our futile existence. Flailing about helplessly for a meaning that cannot be found."

"What's with this guy?" she whispered.

"He's a competitor," Crane answered. "I remember seeing him back when we were all assembled. I think his name is Zhi Ming."

"What value is there in a name?" Zhi Ming asked, not even looking back at them. "Just a meaningless label to differentiate us. But what is different about us really? We are all equally insignificant in the vast emptiness of the universe."

He may have been a tortoise, but this guy was the polar opposite of Grandmaster Oogway. Just listening to him was making them depressed. As Ming continued to ramble on about the futility of everything, the two masters quietly made themselves scarce.

* * *

Monkey did some preparatory stretches for his venture into the lake. He was much more adept to the trees than the seas, but he'd be damned if he didn't give a good showing. He could already picture Mantis laughing at him from the sidelines if he screwed this up.

Now if only that obnoxious wolf would stop growling to himself. "Hey buddy, do you mind? Some of us are trying to focus here!"

Said 'obnoxious wolf' turned around to face him. He had bright green eyes and jet black fur, with baggy pants that looked to be holding a large abundance of who-knows-what. He wore no shirt, but he had seen this wolf before and knew this was normally the case for him.

"My _name_ is De Lu," the wolf said, "And I am focusing as well. I am focusing on my goal, which is much more important than this pitiful prize money!"

"Right. And what exactly would that goal be?" Monkey asked, already having a pretty good idea.

De Lu gave a hardened glare to a certain someone at the other side of the lake. "My goal is to defeat the Dragon Warrior."

Got it in one. "Yeah, you and every other master in China. Get in line."

De Lu ignored him and went back to what he was doing before, glaring at Po and growling to himself. Monkey shook his head and sighed. This tournament attracted all kinds of crazies.

* * *

Soon enough, the stands were packed once more. But not _just_ the stands. The tortoise villagers were also emerging from their homes, watching the event from their porches or by the shore.

" _Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready?!"_ shouted Chaonao, soaring above.

Furious applause answered him.

" _I can't hear you!"_

Even louder applause erupted from the audience.

" _Now that's what I'm talking about SQUAWK! It's time to begin the Trial of Water! In this trial, our competitors will have to dive into the lake to retrieve the eggs of our local villagers here in the Lake of Tears!"_ He paused for a moment to wave at said villagers, who smiled and waved back. " _The water element is quiet and tranquil, but our competitors had better NOT be if they intend to win that 1,000,000 yuan SQUAWK! And here they come now!"_

The twenty competitors lined up at designated spots around the lake. Once again, the Jade Palace masters found themselves separated, a measure which they now knew for sure couldn't be coincidental.

" _As a reminder, Master Spotted Blur was the first competitor to complete the Trial of Wood, and so he is awarded an advantage SQUAWK! His advantage is a five minute head start into the lake!"_

"I see the bird's been updated," Tigress growled. "That sure would have been useful two days ago."

"Sweet." A bare-chested Kuai walked out from the rest of the group and approached the edge of the lake. Pulling his goggles down over his eyes, he stuck a single toe into the water…and almost immediately yanked it back. "Holy crap, that's freezing!"

" _A nature lesson to all our viewers: swamp waters are known to average a temperature between 15 and 35 degrees centigrade! Incidentally, Master Spotted Blur now has only four minutes and forty-five seconds left SQUAWK!"_

Snarling hatefully at the parrot, Kuai forced himself in.

The next four and so minutes were some of the most suspenseful that the competitors had ever experienced. All eyes were on the water, searching closely for any sign of Kuai.

Finally, there was a ripple and the spotted head emerged, gasping for air. As the crowd watched him intently, he went back down, staying under longer this time before coming up again. Clearly frustrated, even from this distance, Kuai dove down for a third time. He was under even longer now, but when he rose to the surface this time, he was grinning.

"That was easier than I thought," he said, holding a large egg into the air.

* * *

 _The Lake of Tears comes from Kung Fu Panda: The Game. I thought it would be a fitting locale for this trial. And yes, that level in the game does involve saving tortoise eggs._

 _"Spasibo" is Russian for "Thank you", written as it would be in English. I hope I don't have to explain "da" and "nyet"._

 _De Lu comes from The Assassin of Xion. Zhi Ming comes from Fox MCcloud SNR, from a story he has not yet written. Think of this as a retroactive cameo._

 _Lastly, that tidbit about the water temperature of swamps is true. I'm fairly certain ancient China didn't measure temperature in centigrade, but I will gladly sacrifice historical accuracy for comedy._


	12. Chapter 11: Eggstraordinary Circumstance

_I knew this was going to come up sooner or later, so I might as well say this now. There is going to be no explicit romance in this fic whatsoever. I like my TiPo as much as the next guy, but frankly there's too much of that in this community already and I don't think I could do it justice. So there will be a few hints here and there, but that's it. Sorry if that ruined the story for anyone._

 _I apologize for the title by the way. I couldn't just let this trial pass without a few egg puns. Try not to get too scrambled over it._

* * *

Chapter 11: Eggstraordinary Circumstances

A tense silence passed over the competitors and their audience. Only ten eggs in the lake and already one had been found.

Who else would break this silence but Chaonao? _"Incredible! Master Spotted Blur has already claimed an egg SQUAWK!"_

Kuai grinned even wider, quite proud of himself.

 _"On a related note, his five minute head start has just ended!"_

The cheetah's grin instantly vanished, slowly turning into a look of sheer horror as he noticed the other nineteen competitors all eyeing his egg greedily. His advantage had just backfired tremendously.

All at once, the horde of competitors shot into motion, honing in on Kuai from all sides. "Wings of Justice!" Master Crane shot a blast of wind into the water in front of him, forming a giant wave. Kuai's mouth dropped open as the wave fell over him, and his egg was thrown high into the air. Crane moved in to grab it, but was intercepted by a hawk master, the same one he had encountered in the previous trial he noted. The hawk kicked Crane back and grabbed the egg for himself, only for a crocodile in dark blue robes to leap out of the water and tackle him. The croc, the hawk, and the egg, all plunged into the water.

 _"Easy come, easy go! That's the way of the egg SQUAWK!"_

Crane watched the egg sink out of reach despondently. And here he thought he might actually get off easy for once.

* * *

Po saw the egg fall and immediately dived underwater for it along with the rest of the swimming competitors. He tried to ignore how cold the water was, grateful that he was better insulated than most. He wasn't exactly the strongest swimmer though, and he knew his chances of grabbing the egg and getting it back before anyone else were slim to none. Instead, he decided that with everyone focused on _this_ egg, he would look for another.

Who said he didn't have good ideas sometimes?

As Po floated there underwater, he trained his eyes to search the murky depths for the white shell of a tortoise egg. It was the grey scales of a certain pangolin he saw first, rolling calmly along the bottom of the lake. He followed Dun's trail and realized he was heading straight for a half-buried egg. No doubt he intended to grab the egg and roll right back to shore without any hassle.

 _Oh you are NOT pulling this crap again!_ Po thought, swimming furiously down between the pangolin and his prize. Sinking his feet into the lakebed, he grabbed Dun by the sides and held him back, the two wrestling for dominance.

But Dun was persistent, and as Po failed to gain any real ground against him, he started to think that this at least was _not_ a good idea. He couldn't keep the pangolin back forever and he couldn't just break away either. His rapidly burning lungs were telling him to do something quickly, but what? This guy was like holding back a giant cannonball.

 _Wait...that's it!_

Closing his eyes, Po tightened his grip on Dun and lifted him off the ground. Placing one foot back, he spun around once, twice, and hurled the giant scaly cannonball as far as he could.

With the panda's great strength and the properties of water, he went far indeed. Breaching the surface of the water, Dun flew several feet into the air and landed hard on the shore. He was unharmed of course, but as he slowly unfurled, he discovered that he was both on his back and wedged in the swampy marsh below him. Dun struggled helplessly for a few moments, stubby limbs flailing in the air, before slumping over. "...Huh."

 _"Looks like Master Rolling Fortress isn't going to be rolling anywhere anytime soon! It's just a shame we can't see who pulled off that incredible feat SQUAWK! Sorry folks, I'm not a waterfowl."_

Beneath the surface, Po did a little victory dance as he silently celebrated to himself. Remembering that he _really_ needed to breathe, the panda quickly grabbed the egg and swam back to the surface, gasping for air. "Alright...rolly jerk's gone...now to get to shore." Concealing the egg below the waterline, Po began to make his way back, hoping that no one would spot it.

 _"The Dragon Warrior has an egg and is heading for shore SQUAWK!"_

"SCREW YOU, BIRD!" Po shouted, picking up the pace significantly as he started to hear disconcerting noises coming from behind him.

* * *

Tigress dodged to the side as the croc attempted to catch her in his jaws. It was complete chaos in this part of the lake as the majority of the competitors were concentrated here, swarming over Kuai's dropped egg like a pack of rabid wolves. Resisting the urge to let out a growl while underwater, Tigress threw a kick at the croc's head, making him drop the egg. As the dazed reptile floated slowly back to the surface, she kicked off of his body and thrust herself towards the falling egg.

As she did, she caught sight of Reidak swimming for the egg with her. But not just Reidak. Kuai had recovered from his earlier humiliation and was heading for the egg as well, fury in his eyes. Before the object could even touch the lakebed again, three feline paws grabbed onto it.

The trio of cats floated there, staring each other down (which Reidak did remarkably well). If they could speak without drowning themselves, there would be a lot of threatening words being passed around. As it was, they were all just waiting for someone to strike first.

Unsurprisingly, it was Kuai. The cheetah threw a kick at Tigress, who ducked under it and responded with a punch. Catching the punch, Kuai dodged a kick from Reidak and attempted to knee him in the gut. Reidak dodged this and tried to elbow Tigress, who freed her caught fist and deflected it.

They did all of this while still holding on to the egg.

But they had to breathe eventually and so, coming to a silent agreement, the three masters headed up to the surface.

"Let go!" Tigress demanded as soon as she had air again.

" _You_ let go!" Kuai shouted back.

 _"Looks like we have a three-way showdown going on down here! Master Tigress, Master Spotted Blur, and Master Fearless Shadow are deadlocked over an egg SQUAWK!"_

"Master Fearless Shadow?" Tigress asked incredulously, wondering when Po had started choosing everyone's master titles.

Reidak shrugged. "Seemed appropriate."

 _"The trash-talking has started now, and-oop, they're gone again!"_

As they sank back down, Kuai used the egg to swing himself towards the two tigers and planted simultaneous kicks to their chests. Smirking to himself, Kuai turned around to swim away with the egg when Reidak grabbed him by the tail and yanked him down into the lakebed. Stepping on top of the cheetah's head, Reidak caught the egg and was immediately tackled from behind by Tigress. The egg fell from Reidak's grasp and Tigress made a grab for it, but Reidak reared back up and elbowed her in the face. Before Reidak could grab it again, Kuai kicked him away. The egg nearly rolled away in all this commotion, until the cheetah planted a bare foot on top of its shell.

It was promptly joined by two others.

Almost simultaneously, the felines glared at each other and unsheathed their claws.

* * *

Po swam like his life depended on it, because he was fairly certain it did. They had to sign those waivers for a reason after all. He didn't dare take a glance behind him, afraid that he would find half of the competitors after him.

Seeing a shadow pass by overhead, he flinched and looked up, bracing himself for an attack.

He relaxed a little when he saw it was only Crane. "Uh...hi."

"...Hi," Crane said back.

An awkward silence passed between them.

"You're not gonna take my egg, are you?" Po asked worriedly.

Crane saw the pleading look in the panda's eyes and sighed loudly. "No..."

"Oh, thank you!" Po said in relief as he took off swimming again. Crane reluctantly went to search for another egg, thinking that perhaps he cared a bit too much for his teammates sometimes. The commentary wasn't helping.

 _"And Master Crane bungles a chance at another egg SQUAWK! Will he EVER catch a break?"_

Meanwhile, Po kept on swimming, edging closer and closer to the shoreline. "Come on, almost there, almost there-UWAAAAH!"

Feeling something hit him hard in the stomach, Po was catapulted out of the lake and landed in a giant pit of mud. As he lay there, soaking wet, covered in various bruises and scratches, and now a good coating of mud, he couldn't imagine that he looked anything like the Dragon Warrior of legend. Groaning softly, he got back to his feet and looked down at the shore.

The shore!

"I did it!" He cried out, suddenly a lot more lively. "I made it to shore! I got the egg! I-I don't got the egg..." Po realized the object was missing and started looking around frantically. It had to be around here somewhere.

"Looking for this?"

Turning around, Po saw a large black wolf standing on the shore behind him. He was casually holding the stolen egg in his outstretched paw.

 _"And the first egg has been collected! Only nine more to go competitors! You'd better hustle SQUAWK!"_

Po narrowed his eyes and balled his fists, but he reminded himself that fighting this guy now would be a complete waste of time and calmed down. "Alright fine, you win. Now I gotta go get another one. Thanks a lot, jerk." He grumbled to himself and headed back for the lake.

The wolf moved his arm and Po froze on the spot as something hit the ground in front of him. Looking down slowly at his feet, he saw the blade of a throwing knife embedded in the ground right between two of his toes, which wiggled nervously in response. "...Nice aim."

"Not nice enough evidently," the wolf said.

Po's calm was broken. "Okay, what is your problem?! You already won, so leave me alone!"

"I don't think so," he growled. "I do not care about winning this tournament. I am De Lu, and I shall defeat you Dragon Warrior! Prepare yourself!" He crouched down into a distinctive wolf style stance.

"Oh, come on! Not _this_ again!"

But De Lu did not heed his complaints and went to lunge for him, when he was blown on his side by a sudden gust of wind.

Po never thought he would be so happy to see Xingfu. The fox looked radically different, having shed both her shoes and her wide assortment of jewelry, not to mention being drenched in lake water. She somehow managed to look even more psychotic than usual. She held one bladed fan towards De Lu, glaring at him menacingly. "Paws...off...my...PANDA!"

De Lu became much less intimidating at that moment, looking understandably freaked out by the zealot fangirl. Despite all the trouble he had caused him, Po couldn't help but give the wolf a sympathetic glance as he dived back into the lake.

* * *

Viper shot through the water like a speeding arrow, dodging around rocks and other competitors as she went. She was surprised by how quickly she had gotten the hang of this method of swimming. It was a good thing too, because she was getting a lot of unwanted attention thanks to the egg wrapped up in her tail. There were two other competitors closely pursuing her. One was the croc Crane and Tigress had encountered before, while the other was a fellow serpent, an Indian cobra with black markings.

There was one other problem. She hadn't surfaced once she came down here and oxygen was starting to become a very pressing concern.

Remembering Crane's warning not to push her luck, she veered sharply upward, towards the surface. As she broke through the waterline and took in a big gulp of air, she noticed Crane himself, looking strangely disappointed to see her. She was unaware of course, that the avian was really hoping for someone other than another teammate to come to the surface with an egg.

She heard a loud crack from behind her and turned to see that she had just solved both of her problems at once. The croc and the cobra had crashed into each other as they attempted to hone in on her.

 _"Oooooooooh. Now this everyone, is a good example of why two heads are not always better than one SQUAWK!"_

Smiling at her continued fortune, Viper went back underwater, hoping she would be less visible from below. As she started to approach the shore, Viper chanced a look back, and saw no more competitors on her tail.

But before she could so much as _think_ she had this in the bag, she heard a small grunt coming from below. Looking down, she saw who else but Yin Bei trying to pull out another egg from between two large rocks. One the one hand, she knew better than to think the snow hare couldn't handle this herself. She had placed higher than her in the first trial for crying out loud! On the other hand, Viper really wanted to build some trust with this girl, and this could be the perfect way to do it.

It was not a hard decision. Viper took another detour and made a beeline towards the struggling hare.

* * *

Crane hovered in place as he looked back and forth across the lake. He heard a splash from his left and looked over, just to see that it was another false alarm. He went back to looking. Another splash. He looked. Nope, still nothing.

About ten seconds passed by in complete silence.

"...Well this sucks."

* * *

 _Fun fact: The majority of this chapter was written on a tablet while riding in a car._ _I do not recommend it._


	13. Chapter 12: Eggceptional Odds

_I was originally planning on only one more chapter for this trial, but now it looks like there's going to be two. Oh well, that just leaves more time for glorious egg puns._

* * *

Chapter 12: Eggceptional Odds

 _"Nobody's come up for a while now, folks! Hope no one has drowned on us yet SQUAWK! I'm only joking of course! Hahahahaha! But seriously, that HAS happened..."_

Over on the sidelines, the Emperor gave a nervous glance towards Grandmaster Shifu. "Has it really?"

"It has," the red panda sighed.

"Eesh, almost makes me glad I'm not in this anymore," said Mantis, sitting at their side.

* * *

Above the lake, an increasingly frustrated Master Crane looked around desperately for any sign of an egg to steal. The other flying competitors seemed just as annoyed, which was of little comfort. It occurred to him that this must be how all landbound species felt not being able to take to the skies and wondered, not for the first time, how they could stand it.

He did see something eventually. Not an egg, but at least it was enough to distract him.

On the shore across from him, a black-furred wolf was dodging around frenzied wind blasts and bladed fan swings from Xingfu. As far as wind attacks go, the fox looked to be a good rival to his own abilities. But the wolf was no slouch either, defending against all of these attacks perfectly. He just seemed a bit unsure of whether he should actually fight back or not. Crane had seen this wolf before, but this was the first time he had ever been the center of his attention, and now that he was, he couldn't help but feel that there was something awfully familiar about him.

He wasn't the only one who noticed this either. _"Well this is interesting! It appears that collecting an egg is not necessarily the end of the trial SQUAWK! Can't make things too easy, right?"_

This wolf and his "fight" with the fangirl was so attention-grabbing it took him a few moments to notice that someone else was also on shore, a fair distance away from the two.

Lao Pi, looking more focused than the bird had ever seen him, was pacing slowly around the perimeter of the lake, staring into the waters intently. There was no way he could see what was going on under that muck, so what could he be up to? Whatever it was, it apparently wasn't interesting enough for Chaonao to comment on, but he at least was curious.

Or maybe he was just so bored now he would find _anything_ interesting.

Yeah, it was probably that.

* * *

Monkey wasn't quite sure what to make of the tortoise.

Zhi Ming, as he had heard him be called, was just standing there, staring at him unnervingly. It was a soulless stare, full of deep unrelenting sorrow. This wouldn't be much of an issue, except that he just so happened to be standing directly between him and an egg. In an underwater staring contest, the aquatic reptile would outlast him easily, so he would have to make some kind of move soon. Monkey wasn't sure if his opponent actually knew tortoise style, but if he did, he at least had some prior experience facing this style before.

If getting his butt handed to him by Grandmaster Oogway counted as experience that is.

Monkey darted to the side and swam in a wide arc around the tortoise, coming in to grab the egg behind him. He was fast enough that he was certain he could grab it in time.

He had forgotten that tortoises were quite a lot faster underwater than on land. Zhi Ming whirled around and snatched it up first, causing Monkey to make an undignified crash into the lakebed. Monkey glared up at his adversary, only to be met with that same vacant stare. He decided right then that he already hated this guy.

Monkey shot forward, throwing a punch at Ming's head. The tortoise sidestepped it, sighing to himself sadly, and threw a kick that flung Monkey up and clear out of the water. The simian used his newfound breath to let out a piercing shriek as he he came back down.

 _"And Master Monkey goes flying SQUAWK! He's coming down now and-ah come on, guys! We worked hard on that!"_

Monkey had landed directly on top of the lotus blossom pattern in the center of the lake, scattering the flowers all over the place. They fell back down slowly, as if it were snowing. "Ergh...I am _so_ getting that guy..."

That answered one question. He knew tortoise style all right.

"Why do you hate me so?" Zhi Ming popped out of the water right in front of him, making Monkey shriek again. "It's because of this egg, isn't it? Such a materialistic society we live in. We obsess over such petty things when we should be focusing on our own fleeting lives. But in the end, none of it matters..."

Monkey scratched his head. "...How did a guy like you master tortoise style? Don't you need Inner Peace for that?"

"Long ago, I resigned myself to the futility of existence. In that knowledge, I am at peace."

 _"I...uh...wow...anyone else feeling really down all of a sudden?"_

* * *

As Viper approached Yin Bei's position, she stopped briefly to stick her egg into the ground nearby, then reached forward with her tail to tap her on the shoulder. Startled, as had become a common occurrence, Bei turned around and saw Viper smiling at her. Pointing to the egg stuck between the rocks, the snake started to wrap her tail around the object to help pull it out.

She never saw the attack coming.

Bei reacted quickly, driving her knee into Viper's chin and sending her spiraling backwards. Steadying herself, she saw the hare glaring angrily up at her.

It was then that Viper realized her mistake. Bei was a naturally timid girl, fearful and suspicious of most strangers. She had not seen that the snake had an egg of her own, which now sat unnoticed in the lakebed nearby, so when she had reached for the one Bei was going after, the hare had jumped to the most logical conclusion.

Unable to explain her intentions verbally, Viper pointed repeatedly at her dropped egg to try to get the point across. If she would just turn her head...

She didn't of course. Why _would_ she when she was already convinced that Viper had betrayed her trust, limited as it was already?

Viper braced herself as Yin Bei kicked off the ground and sped towards her.

* * *

Tigress, Reidak, and Kuai had not slowed down in the slightest. With one foot each resting on top of the egg, the three felines were locked into place, slashing at each other with their claws. The natural weapons struck and clashed against each other with loud clinging noises, making the whole thing look more like a knife fight than anything else.

A three-way, underwater knife fight...it was stuff like this that the Wu Xing Tournament was made for. Shame no one would ever see it. Even the other competitors had all vacated, no one willing to try to take the egg from these three.

As air ran low again, the masters nodded to each other for another respite. Moving their feet underneath the egg, they kicked upwards and sent it towards the surface. At their own speed, they surfaced before the egg did, catching it with one paw each as it flew up to them.

"This is getting really old, really fast," Kuai growled.

"Feel free to give up at any time," Reidak replied.

"It would save us all so much trouble," said Tigress.

Crane watched all of this happen from a short distance away. He almost considered trying to swoop in and steal the egg from them, but he knew doing that would only cause him immense pain and suffering the next time he had to face Tigress in a spar. And so, very reluctantly, he turned his attention back to Lao Pi, still pacing around the lake.

"What is _with_ that guy?"

* * *

"If you think that egg is so pointless, then hand it over!" Monkey demanded.

Zhi Ming looked at the object dismally. "Why? It serves just as much purpose in your hands as mine. That is to say, no purpose at all. I might as well hold on to it."

 _"Master Monkey is squaring off against Zhi Ming now...or does he have another master title that I don't know? Does it really matter? What's the point of this commentary anyway? It's not like it actually helps anyone understand what's going on! It's just so you can all laugh at my snappy one-liners and speech impediment SQUAWK! There, I said it! Are you happy now? Because I'm not!"_

Monkey tried to maintain his fighting stance as he stared down the tortoise, but for some reason, he was having a hard time staying focused. It was like Zhi Ming was exerting some intangible dark force that held him back. It kept him from being able to clear his mind and come up with a strategy. He might as well just not come up with one at all. It wasn't like he had any chance of winning this tournament anyway. No one expected him to. What was the point of even tr-GAH! He had to get out of there!

 _"Seriously, my job sucks! I only do this to make a living! You think I have someone to go home to, because I don't! I'M SO ALONE!"_

Monkey dived deep down into the water, safely out of hearing range of Zhi Ming. There had to be some way to beat this guy. But how would he do that when he couldn't even get near him without losing the will to fight?

He saw the tortoise began to descend towards him, his sorrow-filled eyes looking as menacing as an evil glare. Monkey uneasily got into his stance again. He didn't have a plan yet, but monkey style was known for being wild and unpredictable anyway. Might as well just wing it.

* * *

Viper moved to the right to avoid Bei's first kick, then down to dodge a chop, and left for another kick. The snow hare's style was more aggressive than she thought, especially when she was mad. She felt a twinge of guilt over causing this misunderstanding, but she couldn't just dodge her forever. Nor could she fight back and just confirm what Bei already thought about her. She had to make her understand.

Slipping under an elbow strike, Viper hooked her coils over the hare's arm and wrapped herself tightly around her body, pinning both arms to her sides. As Bei struggled to get loose, Viper turned them both around so they were facing the lakebed, where the pair of eggs could be easily seen. _Come on, just look already!_ Viper screamed internally. But Bei was more focused on trying to break free than the scenery below.

Viper suddenly felt a hard blow across her face and her coils loosened reflexively, letting Bei slip out. Having immobilized her, the snake was perplexed about what she had just been struck by. Bei turned back to face her again, and it took Viper a moment to realize that she had not immobilized her completely.

Her ears had been free.

She recalled the scroll she had read about Bei's past, specifically its mention of the "Ten Limb Style" that she was now master of. It wasn't a style she had ever heard of before, but now it made total sense. Ten limbs: Hands, feet, elbows, knees...and ears.

In any case, it was clear now that binding Yin Bei would prove nigh-impossible. She was going to have to be a bit more direct.

 _Alright Bei, I've got no choice but to knock some sense into you. I hope you're ready._

* * *

Po swam back across the lake for what must've been the hundredth time, but he still couldn't find any other eggs. Or rather, no other eggs that were't currently in the middle of some kind of violent struggle. It seemed that this was the point in the trial where all the eggs had been discovered and now it was a fight to see who could bring them back first. It seemed he was going to have to get his paws dirty (figuratively speaking of course) and steal an egg for himself, a prospect that didn't exactly fill him with confidence.

Which one though? Po started pacing along the lakebed as he tried to come to a decision. He instantly discarded the one Tigress was after for the same reason as Crane. That was just asking for trouble. Monkey was having enough trouble with that creepy tortoise guy without him getting involved, not that he wanted to get anywhere near the creepy tortoise guy himself. And he would just feel like a jerk stealing from Viper or Yin Bei. All the others were lost among the chaos to the point where he couldn't get a good read on where they were at any given moment.

Groaning to himself, which came out as a stream of bubbles, Po got ready to throw himself into the frenzy and just hope for the best when he felt something smooth under his right foot. No way...

In the ground below, so heavily buried by sand it was almost invisible, was a tortoise egg.

Quickly putting his foot back down to hide it, Po took a look around. Everyone else was completely preoccupied with battles of their own and didn't seem to even notice his presence at all. He was fairly close to shore too. It would only take about a minute to swim there, with no risk of any obnoxious parrot ruining stealth mode on him.

Po grinned and reached for the egg. Talk about lucky! Nothing was gonna stop him from collecting an egg this time!

* * *

Up on shore, Lao Pi had finally completed a full lap around the lake. He stopped in place and looked out at the blank expanse of water in front of him. All anyone in the audience could see were a few disgruntled avians and some occasional fighters popping above water, but he saw so much more. He could feel everything that was going on below the surface through the subtle tremors of the earth. It was one of his strengths.

And speaking of strength, it was about time he showed these whippersnappers what _real_ kung fu looked like.

Stepping back slightly, Lao Pi leapt into the air and drove his fist straight into the ground.

* * *

 _Just to clarify, all these techniques used by the cameo OC's come from their respective authors. I didn't just make all that up myself. On that note, I should mention that the Ten Limb style is based off of Muay Thai, the art of eight limbs, but with the added addition of rabbit ears._

 _You may have noticed by now that some of these guys are able to hold their breath way longer than they should. To be blunt, writing in realistic air breaks for every character would be a massive pain in the ass, not to mention distracting. Feel free to use whatever mystical kung fu explanation you find appropriate to suspend your disbelief._


	14. Chapter 13: Eggsplosive Finale

_Another long chapter to wrap up the Trial of Water. Very long. In fact, it's now the longest chapter of anything I've ever written. Enjoy._

* * *

Chapter 13: Eggsplosive Finale

Viper was the first to strike this time, surprising Yin Bei. The serpent contorted her body like a whip and struck Bei in the side, knocking her away. Shoving down the tinge of guilt she felt, Viper ascended to the surface for some fresh air. Her head was starting to get a bit loopy. Definitely not a good condition to be fighting in.

As she surfaced, Viper realized that Bei would also be needing air soon and thought for a moment that she might not have to fight her after all. But as the hare came out of the water, Viper didn't have the time to so much as get a word out before she dived back under. Hissing in frustration, Viper went after her.

She almost immediately had to dodge another kick, and swung around to try to hit Bei's side again. But the hare was ready for it this time and thrust herself slightly downwards, so that her right ear perfectly blocked the strike. Viper was shocked at just how tough the appendage was. It didn't budge at all. Bei shot under her, grabbing Viper's tail as she did so. Spinning around a few times, she threw the snake hard into a sunken rock.

Bouncing off the stone surface, Viper was starting to question if she might actually _lose_ this battle. But she sure as heck wasn't giving up. She was going to get through to this girl even if it killed her.

Thankfully, it didn't come to that. As Viper shook off her dizziness, she saw something tumble past her vision. It was the tortoise egg previously jammed between the rocks, now dislodged by her crash landing. _What do you know? I helped her get it out after all._

Seeing her egg freed, Bei rocketed downwards, looking fully intent on ramming Viper right out of the way to get to it. Looking frantically over the ground, Viper finally saw her chance. Viper dived out of the way, giving Bei a free shot at her egg. But as she was just about to grab it, Viper reappeared again, now holding something in front of her like a shield.

Bei's eyes widened, and she stopped herself just to time to avoid crashing into the egg held in Viper's coils.

If she weren't underwater, Viper would have breathed a sigh of relief. It worked. Bei may have been willing to smack her out of the way, but she wouldn't do the same to an innocent tortoise egg. Looking between the two eggs in bewilderment, Bei finally seemed to be piecing things together. Repeating her gesture from before, Viper pointed to Bei's egg and smiled.

After a few seconds...Bei smiled back.

A sudden rumbling interrupted this little tender moment, and the two females looked around anxiously.

* * *

Kuai shot a leg up and kicked the egg out of Reidak's claws. It flew a considerable distance away, and the cheetah was swimming right after it in pursuit. He was quickly followed by Tigress and Reidak coming in on both sides, and the three were back to making aimless swipes at each other. Finally, Reidak put a paw in the lakebed, and thrust off to nail Kuai in the face with an elbow strike. Tigress ducked as Kuai rolled over her head and aimed a kick at Reidak. The other tiger blocked it, but as Kuai attempted to come back in for a counterattack, Tigress leapt back over top of him and hurled the spotted cat directly into Reidak, making them both veer off and crash into the sand.

Unsurprisingly, they were both on her again in an instant.

Tigress caught up to the egg, and Reidak and Kuai landed on the other side of it. The three masters exchanged another long silence, each equally determined not the let the others win. All at once, they struck.

In one solid movement, Tigress punched Reidak, Reidak punched Kuai, and Kuai punched Tigress.

Dazed, they staggered back from their respective blows, while the egg continued to sit there harmlessly. It was hard to believe that such an innocent little egg could cause such great pain.

But it wasn't sitting still anymore. Now the egg was starting to bounce up and down as the ground beneath it shook violently. Even in the heat of battle, the three felines couldn't ignore this, and claiming the egg was no longer their greatest concern.

* * *

Winging it wasn't going very well.

Monkey pulled out the most random moves he could think of, combinations of styles that should never go together in any serious fight, but Zhi Ming dodged, blocked, or countered all of these, all while remaining as gloom as ever. He then stopped using kung fu entirely, instead switching to his repertoire of prankster antics, as fresh in his mind as if he were still that young troublemaker in the Valley.

Unfortunately, he didn't have much better luck on that front. He couldn't exactly drop banana peels underwater, his funniest faces didn't get so much as a blink out of his opponent, and Ming still had that crippling advantage of not wearing pants. Damn tortoises.

Above all else, that oppressive wave of negativity was weighing him down like an anchor in his chest. Every time he tried and failed to land a blow, the urge to just give up and let the blackness of the void take him got ever stronger. If he didn't beat Ming soon, he could have much more to worry about then just passing the trial.

That's when it hit him. If his thoughts were the enemy, he should simply stop thinking.

This was easier said than done of course. Someone like Po couldn't possibly turn his mind off like that, and _he_ would probably be incapacitated with depression by now, but Monkey's style allowed him to cleanly separate his thoughts and actions. It would be much easier for him. Maybe he could do this after all. No, he couldn't think positive. He couldn't think at all. He just had to clear his mind...

Zhi Ming wasn't sure what to make of his opponent, who had suddenly gone completely limp on the spot. He couldn't have drowned already, there wasn't any sign of a struggle to breathe. Playing dead? Perhaps. Might as well show him the futility of his efforts once again.

But as he went in to finish him off, Ming was surprised as the simian dodged his punch and kicked him in the side. Just what kind of game was he playing now?

Nothing, actually. Monkey's mind was completely blank, leaving his body to do all of the fighting for him. Acting entirely on reflex and instinct, Monkey continued to press the offense, no longer hampered by the dark cloud of depression that surrounded the tortoise. His blows came so abruptly and without warning that Ming struggled to dodge them, taking several more hits. His sullen demeanor slowly gave way to one of frustration.

But Monkey had no demeanor at all and was not distracted. All he knew right now was the simple command of "fight" and that's all he did. He didn't even notice the tide turning on his own battle.

He also failed to notice the sudden tremor below them until it was too late.

* * *

 _"Yes! I made it!"_ Po cheered mentally, climbing up the slope that would take him and his prize to shore. _"I've got the egg, and I'm sittin' pretty! Take that Trial of Water! Did you think you could stop the Dragon Warrior? Well ya couldn't! I-hey, what's that rumbling?"_

Just as he was about to breach the surface, he was suddenly thrown back with strong force.

* * *

This strange rumbling baffled the competitors fighting under the lake, and those outside it were no less confused.

 _"W-What is this?! I can assure everyone that this is NOT a designated part of the trial! We have no idea what's going on any more than you do SQUAWK! ...Actually, that's not assuring at all, is it?"_

Crane was the only one watching Lao Pi at the time, but even he didn't think that this could possibly have come from him. All he did was punch the ground. Surely, no one was strong enough to cause that kind of reaction.

No one except the legendary Master Golden Gibbon.

Crane's eyes widened. He remembered what was written in the old master's scroll and had a pretty good idea what was about to happen. "Everyone! Get away from the lake! Now!"

He flew as quickly as he could away from the lake waters, straight past the panicking Chaonao. Looking back, he sighed bitterly as he realized that no one had listened to him. The other avians weren't about to distance themselves from the lake, from their shot at the 1,000,000 yuan prize, just because he told them to. It was a move most of them would come to regret given what happened next.

The center of the lake suddenly exploded and a long stream of water was thrown into the air, soaking most of the birds still flying around it, Chaonao included. It stretched all the way from one end of the lake to the other, directly where Lao Pi was crouched over in concentration.

 _Master Golden Gibbon, once a bodyguard for the Imperial royal family. He was a legend whose sheer strength could topple buildings and make the oceans themselves part for him._

Along this "seam" of water, the Lake of Tears split into two, leaving a large expanse of land between it.

"What in the world?!" Shifu gasped.

"There can be no doubt now. That _is_ Master Gibbon!" The Emperor said, awed.

"I can't believe I ever thought he was just some cranky old geezer," Mantis said. "Remind me not to get on his bad side."

The rest of the crowd was no less shocked, and startled gasps rose up everywhere, from those in the stands to the watching villagers.

 _"L-Ladies and gentleman, this is incredible! The Lake of Tears has just-well you don't need ME to tell you! Just look for yourselves! Yes folks, that just happened SQUAWK!"_

* * *

In those few moments that the lake remained parted, several things happened at once.

Lao Pi, the one who had caused this phenomenon, was the only one staying calm about it. He had studied the lake thoroughly and found the perfect place to make his strike, now he had to take advantage of this opportunity. Scouring the lakebed, the gibbon quickly found a stray tortoise egg and dashed in to grab it. He was in and out of the lake before anyone else could even regain their composure.

But Chaonao spotted him anyway. _"Whatever the heck just happened, Lao Pi has taken this chance to snatch an egg SQUAWK! Talk about pragmatism! Now this is a guy that knows what he's doing!"_

Chaonao's words were like a trigger. Every other competitor instantly snapped back to attention and remembered what they were supposed to be doing.

This included Tigress, Reidak, and Kuai, who suddenly found themselves fighting a land battle. Glancing at the egg still sitting between them, the felines all lunged for it at once. You might think that this would result in them all crashing in to each other comically, but this was not the case.

That only happened to two of them.

"Ow..." Tigress groaned, rubbing her sore head. "What happened?"

"The egg..." Reidak said, dazed. "It just vanished!"

"Did it now?"

The two tigers looked up to see Kuai, smirking and twirling the egg around on a single claw. "See ya!" Catching the egg in his paw, Kuai disappeared from the spot. Looking closely, they could just make out brief flashes of the cheetah, appearing only as a blur, making his way up and out of the lake.

 _"It sure took him longer than he expected, but Master Spotted Blur has finally collected his egg SQUAWK!"_

"Ya nee paneemayoo, why didn't he just do that from the beginning?" Reidak asked, helping Tigress back to her feet.

"I guess that fancy Fleetfoot of his doesn't work underwater."

"So he was handicapped this whole time? Hmm...that's a bit insulting, isn't it?"

"I guess we better stop fighting for now and go find some eggs of our own."

"Da. Our battle will be concluded another day."

With that, the tigers got down on all fours and raced off towards the chaos.

* * *

Back on shore, the skirmish between De Lu and Xingfu had come to a brief stop. Even the fox wasn't crazy enough to ignore a lake splitting open. "What the heck is...HEY!" She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and turned just in time to see the wolf dive back into their half of the lake. Snarling, she went in after him.

A short distance away, the violent tremors in the Earth had unsettled the land around Dun enough for the pangolin to free himself. Giving the slightest hint of a smile, he curled back up into a ball and plunged back into the water.

* * *

On the opposite half, two figures were thrown out of the lake and onto shore, their fall cushioned by soft marshland.

Viper groaned, still in a good amount of pain. Evidently, she and Bei had been caught in the middle of the lake when it parted, and the resulting currents tossed them up here.

The snow hare was lying next to her, groaning as she coughed up a bit of sand. "You okay?" Viper asked, too weak to do more than turn her head.

She turned her head back to her. "Y-Yes." Pausing for a moment, she bit her lip. "...I'm sorry I attacked you, Master Viper."

It was a good thing Viper was so exhausted right now, or else she might have tried to wrap the hare up in a bone-crushing hug. That probably wouldn't have been the best move, given the circumstances. "I understand, Bei. That's all over now. And you can just call me Viper."

"Viper..." She paused again, even more uncomfortably. "Thanks for helping me with the egg..." Viper understood her difficulty with this. Apologies and thank you's could be hard for a lot of people, let alone someone as shy as Bei.

"You're welcome, I-" Realizing she had forgotten about the eggs, Viper started looking around.

"Don't worry, I've got them."

Viper looked over at Bei, but didn't see the eggs anywhere. "Huh? Where?"

"Up here." Bei pointed behind her head, to her long ears. The two appendages unfurled to reveal that each was holding an egg. Moving one ear, she pushed an egg over to Viper.

"Those things sure are useful, aren't they?" Viper asked, grabbing the egg.

"They come in handy."

 _"And two more eggs have been collected! Master Viper and Master Silent Hare have both completed the Trial of Water SQUAWK!"_

"Looks like we did it," Viper said, grinning.

"Yeah..."

Now Viper was the one nervous. Could this mean what she thought it meant? Only one way to find out.

With a bit of effort, the snake extended her tail over to Bei. "So...friends?"

After only a second of hesitation, the hare smiled and grabbed the tail with her small paw.

"Friends."

* * *

If there was anything that could snap someone out of a blank state of mind, being violently thrown by a current had to be at the top of the list.

It took a second for Monkey to remember exactly where he was and what he was doing, but by then, he was already on a one-way trip to the surface. Seeing a battered Zhi Ming and the egg he still held, Monkey reached out and wrapped the tortoise up in his prehensile tail as he passed by. Together, both of them were ejected from the lake.

Seeing the ground coming up, Ming desperately grabbed the tail in midair and tried to yank the simian towards him. Monkey could already feel his touch, as cold and empty as life itself, starting to affect him. He needed to end this now.

Letting out a piercing battle cry, Monkey grabbed his own tail with both hands and slammed Ming face-first into the marsh.

He felt the tortoises's influence dissipate instantly. It was like a massive weight off his shoulders, and now his victory was sweeter than ever. Flipping the unconscious reptile on his back, Monkey pried the egg out of his claws and held it up triumphantly.

The egg cracked, then shattered in his hand.

Monkey shrieked and shook the pieces of shell and egg goop off his hand.

 _"Yikes, hate to see that happen! Master Monkey is hereby disqualified SQUAWK!"_

"W-What?!" he shouted back. "No way! He was the one holding it!"

 _"Then maybe you shouldn't be so rough with people handling delicate objects! Better luck next time, child-killer SQUAWK!"_

Monkey froze, horrified as he stared down at the goop still remaining on his hands. Being disqualified was now the last thing on his mind. "What have I done...?"

Turning around, he saw the eyes of several tortoise villagers upon him, staring into his very soul.

He threw himself onto the ground in front of them, starting to weep. "I'm so sorry! I never meant to harm any of your children! If there's anything I can do to make up for this, I swear I-!"

"Oh, calm down, you big baby." Monkey looked up through watery eyes at the familiar face of Master Bludgeoning Rhino. "Those eggs are just replicas."

"Wait, WHAT?!" he shouted again, his sorrow quickly turning into anger.

Rhino scoffed. "As if we'd let a group as destructive as you handle _actual_ tortoise eggs. Nah, we just told you that so you'd be more careful with them. Didn't work, clearly." He turned to his right. "Bring in another one!"

Monkey's jaw dropped as an entire wagon of "eggs" was wheeled in by a pair of antelope guards. One of the guards tossed an egg to Rhino, who then hurled it back into the lake. "There. Problem solved."

"I hate you," Monkey said darkly. "I hate you _so_ much."

Rhino just shrugged and walked off again. Monkey turned his attention back to the unconscious Zhi Ming. If the tortoise were awake right now, he would no doubt be giving him another lecture about the futility of his existence.

He just might have agreed with him too.

* * *

Finally, after what seemed way too long to be anything resembling natural, the Lake of Tears closed back up and returned to its normal state. This spectacle wasn't quite as impressive in reverse.

 _"Don't give up yet, competitors! Only half of the eggs have been collected! There's still five more for you to get your greedy little paws on, so get moving SQUAWK!"_

Po was doing just that, swimming rapidly for the edge of the lake again. He had no idea what hit him earlier, or why everyone seemed to be making such a big fuss out of it, but whatever it was had been inconsiderate enough to send him a good distance away from the shoreline. When this trial was over, he never wanted to swim again.

Squinting his eyes, the panda saw something else coming at him. As he got closer, Po realized it was Angry Wolf Guy. Wait, what was his name again? Du Lee? It didn't matter. He was sick of this guy getting in his way and now he was going to throw him out of it.

Stopping in place, Po stuffed the egg into the rim of his shorts and got into his stance, shooting De Lu the universal gesture for "bring it on."

The wolf was happy to oblige. Dropping in low for just a second, De Lu shot up and aimed a kick at Po's side. Po raised his arm and blocked it, but as he tried to counter with a punch, the wolf immediately sped out of his range. Swimming above the panda's head, De Lu aimed several kicks straight downward. Po again was able to block the attacks, though each one pushed him further and further down. His air supply was starting to become worrisome again.

With one final kick, De Lu pushed Po down to the lakebed and himself far above him. He was now directly between Po and the oxygen he needed. Deciding to take out two birds with one stone, Po kicked off the ground and thrust himself right at De Lu.

Unfortunately for him, the wolf master was expecting just that, and he intentionally allowed himself to sink just enough for Po's momentum to carry him directly over top of him. Before the panda could react, De Lu grabbed his arms and kneed him hard in the gut.

The blow was even more effective than he anticipated. Po gasped as the little air he had left was forced out of his lungs. Reaching out with one last effort to reach the surface, Po's vision darkened and he felt himself go limp.

* * *

 _We should have just done this to begin with._

Tigress looked at Reidak, both stretching themselves out after their little workout. Around them were the fallen forms of several other competitors, including the crocodile and the cobra. They slowly floated back to the surface, leaving them alone.

Alone with two eggs that is.

Reidak studied his egg intently, as if unsure that it was real. Given his lack of eyesight, he did this by basically groping the thing until he was certain it was not just some very round stone. Satisfied, he nodded in Tigress's direction and headed for the surface, silently promising to settle the score with her later. Tigress watched him go, looking forward to such an encounter herself.

As she was about to leave, she felt something hit her lightly in the back. She whirled around, expecting an enemy, but what she saw was just another egg, likely dropped by one of the other competitors somewhere along the line.

 _Now these things are just mocking me._ She growled and kicked the thing out of her face, then left to claim her prize.

* * *

Crane sighed to himself as he rested on shore. After hours of continuous flight, his wings were getting too sore to sustain it. He was forced to either come back to shore or keep flying until they inevitably gave out and he drowned in the lake. The first option sounded better, even if it felt a lot like giving up.

"Who am I kidding, I _am_ giving up," he muttered to himself. "Hours of long, tedious effort, and for what? Nothing." No one else was flying over the lake either, with the exception of Chaonao, who was obligated to. Even the tenacious bladed hawk master was lying some distance away, wheezing in exhaustion.

So that was it then. He had no chance of getting an egg now. It's not like one was going to just come flying-

He heard a loud splash in front of him and an egg landed in the sand right at his talons. Crane blinked.

Wow. He didn't even get to finish that thought. This had to be some kind of record.

Crane took one step forward and closed his talons over the egg.

 _"...I'm not really sure how it happened, but it appears Master Crane has finally got an egg SQUAWK! Let this be a lesson to you, folks! If you keep trying and failing at something over and over again, eventually you'll get lucky enough to manage it!"_

Crane scowled, but he couldn't exactly argue that and so he decided to just take the win.

Two more splashes came from the water and he almost expected two more eggs to fall in his lap. Instead, it was Reidak, followed closely by Tigress, emerging from the lake with a pair of eggs of their own. At this point in the trial, the lake was nearly empty, and so they faced very little resistance on their way back.

 _"And just like that, we're down to only two eggs left! The only question is, who's going to be bringing them back? It's not over yet SQUAWK!"_

Tigress and Crane looked around as the winning competitors began to assemble. There were eight total, and they both noticed that Master Monkey was not among them. Seeing the simian looking dejected over at the side, they could only assume he hadn't gotten an egg yet, leading them to wonder why he wasn't in the lake right now.

More importantly, there was no sign of Po anywhere in sight.

Tigress looked back out at the lake uneasily. The idiot couldn't have actually gone and drowned himself, could he? "Dammit Po, where are you?"

* * *

"Woah...hey...I'm not dead...awesome."

Po coughed weakly as he slowly opened his eyes. Well, he could assume he wasn't dead anyway. He could see the sun shining brightly in his eyes and he seemed to be lying in some tall grass somewhere on land. Besides, he wouldn't be this sore if he was dead, right?

"You _better_ be alive," a voice said from next to him. "Who am I going to obsess over if you kick the bucket?"

"Xingfu?"

The fox leaned over his face, grinning at him. "That's right! It's me! Your number one fan that wasn't about to let her idol sink to a watery grave!"

Po tried to get up, but couldn't. He was even weaker than he thought. "...You mean you pulled me out of that lake? All by yourself?"

"No silly, you weigh a ton! I had some help from that De Lu guy."

"Huh?! But I thought he was trying to kill me."

"Yeah, me too. But after we dragged you up here, he said that he 'miscalculated' or something, and that he didn't intend for you to drown. He ran off after that, saying that he'll wait until the next trial to take another crack at you."

"Well that's reassuring," Po said, rolling his eyes. "W-Wait, what about my egg? Don't tell me he stole it again!"

"Nope! Your egg is still safe and sound." Xingfu dug the object out of his shorts, which she seemed to enjoy more than she should've, and plopped it down right on top of his belly. "Here you go!"

 _"That's egg number nine, folks! The Dragon Warrior stays in the running SQUAWK! And it looks like he's won more than just the egg!"_

Po became aware of just how close he was to Xingfu and turned away quickly. "But what about you? You didn't get an egg for yourself, right?"

She shrugged. "I told you already, I don't care about the tournament. Yeah, I wanted to defeat you before, but then all of this happened. And I'm not about to leave your side to let some other lunatic with a grudge try to finish you off."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled in close, making him blush. "Besides, why go swimming again when I can spend the rest of this trial here with you?" she whispered into his ear, her fingers starting to trace circles around his chest fur.

"Oh boy."

* * *

Hearing Chaonao's announcement, Tigress sighed to herself in relief.

"You see? Nothing to worry about," Crane said.

"I wasn't worried." Tigress crossed her arms, instantly returning to her hardcore self.

Crane looked around at the remaining competitors. "So that's nine then. Who do you think's going to be the last one?" Getting no response, he turned to see Tigress already walking away. He had a pretty good idea as to where.

Sure enough, after a surprised feminine shriek and some loud yelps of pain, Tigress reappeared, dragging Po behind her by the ankle. "Found him." She dropped the panda on the spot.

"What happened?" Crane asked him.

"Xingfu saved me from drowning, and then Tigress saved me from Xingfu."

Gasping loudly, the fox crawled out of the lake, coughing up water onto the ground. "Ugh...didn't think she was the jealous type." Tigress just sniffed, not even looking at her.

"So what's going on?" Po asked. "Is the trial over yet?"

"No, not yet. We're still waiting for the last winner."

"Cool. I wonder who else will-AW, NO WAY!" Po's eyes bugged out, suddenly sitting straight up as he saw someone else emerge from the lake.

Moving into the center of the assembled winners, Dun the pangolin uncurled himself, holding an egg between his large claws.

 _"And just like that, it's allllllllllll over, folks! The Trial of Water is done, done, DONE! Er, no pun intended..."_

"Agh!" Po flopped back onto the ground. "I went through all the trouble to stop that guy and he goes and tanks his way through another trial anyway!"

"Just be happy you won," Tigress admonished. "And that you're not dead."

"Yeah," he smiled. "At least I didn't have as much bad luck as Crane." The avian's head dropped.

"Or me," Monkey said bitterly, coming up behind them. "Crane still made it through in the end. I went and got myself disqualified."

"That's what you get for being so reckless." Tigress didn't know what actually happened to him, but it wasn't too hard to figure out.

"What about Viper? Did she do okay?" asked Crane.

"Better than okay!" the serpent grinned, slithering up to the rest of her teammates. "I didn't just win, I got myself a new friend! Everyone, let me formally introduce you to Yin...Bei?" She turned around, noticing that the hare was no longer behind her. Looking around, she saw her several feet away, waving shyly at them from the distance. "Well...she's used to _me_ at least..."

"That's great, Viper!" Po said enthusiastically. "Looks like this worked out for everyone." Someone coughed loudly behind him. "Except Monkey."

* * *

Mercifully, the competitors were given another ten minutes after the conclusion of the trial to rest a little. This was much needed, as Master Rhino wouldn't accept anything less than perfect attention when he arrived.

The Final Ten of the Wu Xing Tournament lined up in front of him as per usual, soaking wet, dirty, and shivering. All of them wanted nothing more than to return home to a nice warm bath, but Rhino wouldn't have it. "It looks like you've all survived, and more importantly, managed to dredge up every last egg. But of course, some of you did better than others. De Lu, you collected the first egg, and so you have won an advantage."

Crane's head whipped around towards the wolf, who didn't seem to notice him. _D-De Lu?! ...N-No, it must be a coincidence..._

Everyone else was shocked too, but for a different reason. "Advantage?! You didn't mention anything about an advantage this time!" Kuai shouted.

"Oh, I didn't? I must have forgotten." No one believed him.

 _"Attention, everyone! The Final Ten has been decided! Let's see who we've got SQUAWK!"_

 _"First to finish is the Wistful Wolf, De Lu!"_ De Lu frowned slightly at the nickname, but nodded.

 _"In second place: The Groundshaking Geezer, Lao Pi!"_ The aged gibbon gave a small "Bah!" and shook his head.

 _"In third place, the Smirking Speedster, Master Spotted Blur SQUAWK!"_ Kuai promptly lived up to the nickname.

 _"In fourth place, technically hitting the ground first, is the Bashful Bunny, Master Silent Hare!_ Yin Bei's ear twitched in annoyance, though it was hard to tell if this was due to being called "Bashful" or "Bunny".

 _"In fifth place, smacking the dirt straight afterwards, is the Slippery Serpent, Master Viper SQUAWK!"_ Viper hissed. It was clear by now that Chaonao wasn't trying to come up with accurate nicknames, just ones that sounded catchy.

 _"In sixth place, the Feathered Fumbler, Master Crane!"_ Crane looked like he wanted to fly up there right now and show the parrot how much he could "fumble" his face.

 _"In seventh place, the Blind Bruiser, Master Fearless Shadow!"_ The tiger smiled and nodded.

 _"In eighth place, the Cantankerous Cat, Master Tigress!"_ Tigress literally smacked the smile off Reidak's face.

 _"In ninth place, the Boorish Bear, the Dragon Warrior Po SQUAWK!"_ Po cheered, clearly having no idea what "Boorish" meant.

 _"And finally, rolling in last at tenth place, it's the_ _Indomitable Indifference, Master Rolling Fortress!"_ Dun blinked.

 _"And that's all, folks! Hope you enjoyed seeing everyone get wet as much as we did! Thank you all for watching, especially the denizens of the Lake of Tears who were so kind as to let us defile their sacred village! This is Chaonao, signing off SQUAWK!"_

* * *

 _Ya nee paneemayoo - I don't understand._

 _Yes, that's really the only footnote I have for this long-ass chapter, except a quick thank you to Fox MCcloud SNR for helping out with some of the details._


	15. Chapter 14: The Lee Da Masters

_Do you like OC's? Well I sure hope you do if you're still reading this, because now there's going to be more. I mentioned before that even though competitors OC's are officially done, others will still be incorporated in smaller roles. So in this chapter, we have...one more._

 _Okay, so it's not all that impressive._

* * *

Chapter 14: The Lee Da Masters

Danzaburo really, really, hated the water.

He was aware of course, that participating in a "Trial of Water" would most likely involve water, but that didn't make him any more prepared for it. Now he had to sit by himself in this cramped little room and wait for his fur to dry. Unfortunately, the Shushi Inn wasn't known for being the warmest of buildings, so drying off was not a particularly pleasant experience. He was almost tempted to wrap his bushy tail around himself for extra warmth, but discarded the idea as childish. He was a great warrior of Japan; he would not lose resolve over something as petty as getting wet.

On the bright side, at least his mission was going smoothly. Especially with his new insight on the Jade Palace warriors and the Emperor. His smiled to himself. Even as a professional spy, there was still a part of him that enjoyed the simple thrill of tricking people. It was just in his nature. And now he knew everything about their little conspiracy against him. Too bad they were still chasing their tails over their alleged "leads". If they really had anything on him, he would know it by now.

There was a knock on his door and his ears perked up. Prepared to disguise himself again in an instant, he relaxed a little when a small flyer was slipped under his door. It was only a delivery.

But a delivery for what exactly? He picked up the flyer and looked it over, his brown eyes narrowing ever so slightly.

"The Final Ten Feast."

* * *

"What's the Final Ten Feast?" asked Tigress, quirking her head at the flyer left on the Jade Palace doorstep. The rest of the masters didn't know either, though Po became noticeably interested at the mention of the word "feast".

"It's a special event that occurs at this stage of the tournament," the Emperor explained once they brought it to his attention. "As the name implies, the Final Ten will assemble at a set location for a massive feast prepared by the tournament officials. Their masters are also expected to attend. It's a way of building camaraderie and trust between competitors and their respective schools."

"Massive feast?" Po asked, starting to drool.

"Camaraderie? Trust? With someone like Kuai? Not gonna happen," Tigress said bluntly.

"Yeah, she'd much rather improve relations with her buddy Reidak," Mantis whispered over to Monkey, making him chuckle. Tigress growled.

"I'm glad you two are having so much fun with this," Shifu remarked. "Considering you won't be able to attend."

"What?!" They yelled.

"This feast is for the Final Ten and their masters, and no one else. If I catch you two so much as attempting to sneak a peek, I'll give you both a punishment that makes Mantis's stair-climbing exercise look like a cakewalk."

They gulped. "Yes, Master."

"So where are we heading?" asked Viper.

"The Shushi Inn. It's the lodging place where all foreign competitors stay between trials."

There was an uncomfortable silence. "...All foreign competitors?" Crane asked nervously.

"Meaning Danzaburo," Tigress answered with a low snarl.

Shifu sighed. The spy of a thousand scents was not a subject he liked to bring up without reason.

The Emperor cleared his throat, bringing all attention back to him. "Yes, and this event presents an excellent opportunity for more information gathering. Old documents can only tell us so much. Talking to the competitors in person will no doubt prove more insightful."

Tigress smiled darkly. She normally wasn't one to enjoy formal events, but this one might just be an exception.

* * *

Training proceeded as usual for the day, though Po, Tigress, Viper, and Crane did a better job than usual at washing up afterwards, knowing they would be attending a feast tonight. The Emperor assured them that no formal attire would be necessary, but they still wanted to be clean. As night fell, the four students, plus Shifu and the Emperor, headed down into the Valley, to the Shushi Inn.

Naturally, none of them had actually stayed at this inn before, so they were surprised by how impressive it actually was. First off, the place was huge. Frankly, the only other building in the Valley that could rival it in size was the Jade Palace itself. But size aside, the owners seemed to have gone through a great deal of trouble to ensure that the place lived up to its name. While the outside was rather plain, covered in stark white walls, the interior of the inn was far more decorated. This was especially true for the dining hall, which was where they were escorted.

The hall had only one table, but it was one hell of a table, excessively large to fit its meager crowd. Draped in a white cloth, the surface was covered in so much food of all kinds that even Po had no idea where to begin. Hanging overhead was an impressive chandelier that lit up the entire room splendidly. The Emperor quickly bowed out to attend to his own duties here, leaving the Jade Palace representatives to the feast. The other competitors were seated already. Not surprising, considering they lived here.

But more interesting than them were the other masters. There were only two others here, one of which got up to greet them as soon as they came in. He was an orange-feathered rooster with a red crest and yellow beak, dressed in royal blue masters' robes lined with white.

"Master Blazing Rooster," Shifu bowed, along with his students. "It is an honor to meet you in person."

"Grandmaster Shifu, likewise," Rooster bowed back. "These must be the Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five...er-sans a couple." He turned to Viper. "Ah, and you are Master Viper I take it?" They couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. "Bei has been talking about you nonstop since the Trial of Water."

Viper smiled. "Really?"

"Yes. You see, she's never had a female friend before. She gets along well enough with my other students, but this must be special for her." Rooster rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm surprised you got through to her at all though. She's not exactly the best at opening up to people."

"Nothing is impossible," Shifu stated.

Rooster blinked. "Uh...yes it is."

"No it's not!" Shifu said, feeling affronted.

Rooster pointed up to the chandelier. "Then sprout a pair of wings and fly up to that chandelier. Oh, and do it while breathing fire and shooting lighting from your fingertips."

Shifu gritted his teeth. If Monkey and Mantis were here, he knew they would both be snickering at him right now. "That is not what that saying mea-"

"Master Crane!"

The bird let out a squawk worthy of Chaonao as he was suddenly wrapped up in a pair of strong, feline arms. Very familiar arms. "M-Mei Ling!"

Master Golden Cat, casually known as Mei Ling, smiled up at him. She looked almost the same as he remembered, but instead of her old training uniform, she wore a more formal set of brown robes with gold linings. More formal, but not especially so, as Mei Ling was not exactly one to conform to tradition. Her features were more mature as well, and Crane couldn't help but notice that she had grown into them quite nicely.

Forcing down any impure thoughts, Crane smiled at her. "It's been a long time. How have you been?"

"Well, as I'm sure you've heard, I'm a master at Lee Da Academy now. The headmaster practically begged me to teach there after I graduated. How could I refuse?" she giggled. Based on her record at the academy, Crane doubted this was an exaggeration.

"We shouldn't keep everyone waiting," Shifu interrupted. "Let's all sit down, and then we can talk more."

"I think you should've said that earlier," Tigress noted, pointing a claw over to the table. Sometime during their discussion, Po had snuck away from the group and started helping himself to the feast. For someone who claimed to be inept at "stealth mode", the panda could be as quiet as a ninja when food was involved.

"Well what are we waiting for then?" Shifu asked, admittedly a bit impressed.

Shifu and the Five all took their seats with the other masters. Tigress sat next to Po and Reidak, Crane next to Mei Ling, Kuai, and Dun, Viper next to Rooster and Yin Bei, and Shifu at the end with Lao Pi and De Lu. They all ate in silence for a few moments, but the discussion quickly heated up again.

"So Kuai and Dun...they're really your students?" Crane asked Mei Ling, eating from a bowl of noodles. He glanced over at the cheetah and pangolin, still having a hard time wrapping his head around the idea. Dun didn't seem to notice him, or just didn't care, while Kuai briefly scowled in his direction.

"They're nicer than they seem," Mei Ling said, seemingly reading his thoughts. "They're just a bit lacking in the humility department."

"When did you start training your own students?"

"Only a few years ago actually. They had me teaching in front of a group at first, and boy that did not work out..." Crane looked at her accusingly. "It wasn't my fault! I had standards, and they just didn't live up to them."

"Master kicked the crap out of anyone who couldn't keep up with her," Kuai laughed.

"Many beatings," Dun nodded.

"So anyway!" Mei Ling said loudly. "They decided that I would be better off training my own students one-on-one. Kuai here was the first to earn that privilege, out of many, many, failed applicants." She grinned widely, an expression mirrored by Kuai.

 _Well this explains a lot._ "And that's when he developed this...Fleetfoot technique?"

"Yep! I'm so proud of him! That technique is already gaining a lot of new practitioners." She looked down guiltily. "Which reminds me, I still have to send that apology letter to Masters Ox and Croc..."

"An apology? For what?" Crane asked curiously. "Wait, is this why they didn't enter the tournament?" The conspicuous absence of the Gongmen masters had been bugging him for a while now.

"Yeah...it's kind of a long story."

"How long?"

"Around 36,000 words."

"Ehhh, maybe later then. So what about Dun?"

She perked right up again. "He came in after Kuai had already been training with me for a little while. Naturally, Kuai had some jealousy issues and challenged him to a spar right on the spot."

"How did that go?" Crane saw Kuai look away bitterly and he already knew the answer.

"Kicked him in the side, broke his leg, hospitalized for weeks." Mei Ling took a sip of tea. "But after that, they got along great. They're like my children now."

"Master, don't tell him that," Kuai whined, flushing bright red.

In a flash, she had the cheetah by the ear and was pulling him towards her. "Don't give me that sass, young man! I'll tell him whatever I damn well please!"

"Owowowowow! Y-Y-Yes Master!"

Mei Ling released Kuai's ear and smiled back at Crane as if she had never been interrupted. "So things have been going wonderfully. I've got a new title, new students, and now I get to see you again." She winked, making him blush slightly.

As Crane tried to focus again, he caught sight of a certain black wolf eating by himself at the far end of the table. The feline followed his gaze and frowned, no doubt making the same connection that he had. "Speaking of blasts from the past..."

"Is that really...De Lu?" Crane asked hesitantly.

"Sure looks like him, all right," Mei Ling said still frowning. "...But could he really be that De Lu?"

"Hey, hold on," Kuai cut in again, flinching slightly when Mei Ling turned to him. "Can we get a little context here? Dun and I have never heard of that weirdo before."

"Needs explanation," Dun agreed.

She sighed. "It...was before your time. Back when Crane and I were attending Lee Da, we met a young wolf there who also went by the name De Lu. He was kind and loyal, always eager to be the best student he could. The two of us made fast friends with him." She smiled warmly, recalling fond memories of the lupine. "Crane graduated from the academy first and went off to join the Jade Palace, so it was only me and him for a little while."

"Then?" Dun looked surprisingly interested. Kuai much less so.

"One day, De Lu said that he wanted to enlist in the Imperial Army. I was...concerned about him, but eventually gave in. He enlisted right after his graduation. For a while, not much changed. He wrote back to me frequently, talking about what he was up to in the army. He and his comrades were currently fighting in the northern mountains against a young warlord."

Crane was now listening intently as well. He had been in the Jade Palace when this was going on, so this was all news to him.

"Anyway, he did come back to the academy once, on a brief intermission from his duties."

"And let me guess, he came back as that sad sack?" Kuai asked, pointing a thumb over at the wolf.

"Actually, no. He was almost the same as I remembered him. The only thing different were his eyes. He always seemed to be thinking about something else, like he was always probing the field for battle. I tried asking him about it, but he kept avoiding the subject, so I dropped it." She looked down sadly, and Crane could tell she was having a hard time telling the rest of the story. "That was the last time I saw him. One month later, I received a letter from the Imperial Army. It said De Lu had been killed in battle."

This part, Crane knew. "Apparently not," he said, glancing back over at the wolf. He gave no indication he even noticed them. "If that's really him that is."

"Come on, how many black wolves with green eyes named De Lu are there in the world?" Mei Ling asked, shaking her head. That excuse wasn't going to fly for her anymore. "It's him...it has to be..."

"But why hasn't he said anything then? This tournament has been going on for over a week and he hasn't so much as said 'hi' to me."

Coming to a decision, Mei Ling stood up abruptly. "Only one way to find out."

Crane put a wing on her arm, stopping her. "Wait! Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Do you want to find out if that's really our De Lu, or not?

"Of course I do! But-"

"But nothing! If he doesn't want to come to us, then we have no choice but to go to him." Crane sighed, but nodded.

"This oughta be good," Kuai whispered over to Dun. Mei Ling casually dunked the cheetah's head into his soup bowl.

Tough love. Crane reluctantly got up and followed after Mei Ling as she walked over to where De Lu sat.

Upon seeing them, the wolf's eyes widened for just a second, then returned to their usual calm mask. "Master Crane, Master Golden Cat, it is an honor to meet y-"

"Don't give me that!" Mei Ling growled. "We know it's you. What happened, De Lu? We thought you were dead all these years."

The wolf paused for a moment, his expression unreadable. "...I'm sorry, you must have me mistaken for someone else."

But they didn't. Even Crane was certain of it now that he was talking to him face-to-face.

"Like hell we do!" Mei Ling yelled, trembling with rage. Crane had never seen her this angry before. "How can you say that?! Does all that time we spent at the academy together mean nothing to you?!"

Crane noticed that they were starting to attract attention. A few of the other masters ceased their own conversation and stared at them. Crane smiled nervously, silently apologizing.

De Lu paused longer this time, but his voice sounded just as calm. "I'm sorry, but I am not the wolf you knew. It is as you said before. Your friend, your De Lu...is dead."

Crane was stunned. He had no idea how to even respond to this.

Mei Ling had no such difficulty. Snarling fiercely, she slapped the wolf hard across the face. He barely reacted. "Fine! If you want to just forget about us, then go right ahead! Let's go, Crane!" She turned around and stormed back to her seat without another word. Her back was to him, but he saw her reach up and wipe her arm in front of her eyes.

Crane stuck around for just a moment longer. He looked one last time at De Lu, hoping to see some sign, any sign of his old friend. But there was nothing. He didn't even look back at him.

Pulling his hat down over his eyes, he went back to join Mei Ling.

* * *

 _Master Blazing Rooster comes from Mind Jack. And yes, his insistence on being literal is part of the character._

 _If you don't know who Mei Ling is by now, she's from the "Secrets of the Furious Five" short, in Crane's backstory. I assume anyone reading this fanfic is enough of a KFP nerd to know this already, but just in case._

 _That bit about Ox and Croc and the "long story" is yet another reference to my fic On Their Own. Hey, I only have two other fics in this continuity, give me a break._


	16. Chapter 15: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hare

_I have come to a decision that not all of you may like. I am officially pulling the plug on all OC submissions. I know I said that I would continue accepting them in smaller roles, but frankly that was a stupid idea, and I can admit when I have stupid ideas. Every OC in this story should have a role in the story, whether they are mine or someone else's. I don't want to get to the point where I'm just shoehorning cameos for the hell of it. As it is, I'm quite satisfied with how this all turned out._

 _T_ _hanks again to everyone who participated. :)_

* * *

Chapter 15: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hare

"Po, you're going to make yourself sick," Tigress scolded. The panda ignored her and continued stuffing his face. To be fair, this wasn't much more than he normally ate. He had plenty of room. Probably.

"PO! I'M COMING!" a shrill voice shouted.

That stopped him. Po looked around frantically. When he didn't see any sign of a fanatical fox, he thought he must have been hallucinating. After all, she wasn't in the Final Ten. How could she be here?

He got his answer when he heard another voice. "I'm sorry Miss, I can't let you in."

It came from the entrance to the dining hall, where he now saw two people standing. One was, of no surprise whatsoever, Xingfu. She was being blocked by the other, a large gorilla dressed in a dark suit and bearing a menacing glare. "This feast is for the Final Ten and their masters only," the gorilla bouncer stated calmly.

Xingfu looked like her birthday had just been cancelled. "B-But I must eat with the Dragon Warrior! I'm his biggest fan!"

"Be that as it may," and he looked like he had heard this a hundred times before, "I can't let you in."

The bouncer moved to catch Xingfu as she tried to make a leap for the dining hall. Lifting the fox over his head, he literally threw her out. "No entry to unauthorized guests," he said, slamming the doors shut for good measure. Po had a distinct feeling this would not be the last either of them saw of Xingfu.

"What, is that all you're eating?" Tigress asked sarcastically.

Po looked down at the food again, feeling queasy for reasons he knew had nothing to do with it. "...I'm not hungry anymore."

Tigress raised an eyebrow, but didn't question it. "Good. A little self-restraint will benefit you."

"Perhaps more than a little," Reidak remarked from her opposite side. The other tiger looked a bit apprehensive about sitting so near the panda. She couldn't blame him after what happened the last time they met.

"Don't worry, he's washed up a lot better this time," Tigress whispered. "Master Shifu made sure of it."

Reidak sniffed the air. "About as good as it's going to get, I suppose. Just make sure he doesn't take his shoes off again and I'll be fine."

"I promise," Tigress chuckled. "Speaking of which, you still owe me an explanation for how you lost your eyesight."

His eye sockets widened. "I'd completely forgotten! Alright, I'll tell you now then." Tigress narrowed her eyes in keen interest. _Finally._

Reidak closed his paw around a cup of tea and downed the whole thing in one gulp. Clearly, there was much to tell. "First off, I suppose I might as well tell you a bit about myself. For one, I didn't know my parents for most of my life. I was taken from my home at an early age and ended up being raised in an orphanage. It...wasn't a pleasant experience to say the least."

He didn't say any more about it, but he hardly needed to. Already, Tigress felt a pang of sympathy for him. If this orphanage was half as bad as Bao Gu, she understood exactly how that must have been. "So...what happened? I assume you got adopted eventually?"

"Nyet. I ran away. There was only so much of that place I could take."

She frowned, but wasn't particularly surprised. If Master Shifu hadn't come to her rescue all those years ago, she may well have run away herself. "I spent the next few years as a street rat," he continued, somewhat bitterly. "I was a thief and a beggar, doing whatever I needed to survive. But eventually, I found my lucky break and was taken in."

"By a martial arts school?"

"By the military."

Tigress almost choked on a dumpling. " _How_ old were you at the time?!"

"Around five or six."

She pounded a fist on her chest, trying to get the dumpling down.

"Don't worry, it's not like I was on the battlefield or anything. They just stuck me in a cadet academy for a while."

Finally swallowing the dumpling, Tigress hunched over the table, panting. "Well...that's good to hear..."

"After proving my worth at the academy, I was taken to a meeting of army generals, for experience purposes you understand. As it turned out, my father was there. It was the first time I had seen him since infancy."

"So you found your true family after all," Tigress smiled, even if a part of her was slightly envious.

"For a time. It...didn't last as long as I'd hoped, but I certainly valued that time together." There was clearly more to it than that, but he wasn't divulging anything else.

Tigress realized that she still hadn't gotten the answer to her initial question. "And...the blindness?"

"Oh, that. When I was still a cub, me and a friend of mine ended up playing together in this old witch's hut. I tripped and accidentally knocked some potions into her cauldron, causing it to explode. Some of it got in my eyes and now I'm blind."

Tigress stared at him blankly. "...Is that seriously the entire story?"

"Eezveeneete, were you expecting me to lose my sight in some epic battle or something?"

 _After all that other stuff? Yeah, kinda._ "So what then? I'm guessing the military didn't keep a blind guy around, so who taught you to fight like that?"

"An old ninja master," he said simply. "He taught me everything I needed to know about how to fight without sight."

"Then shouldn't this master of yours be here?" She saw his face fall. "Is he...?"

He shook his head. "He is alive. However, I do not expect him to show up. My actions have not always been honorable and he...abandoned me some time ago."

"What did you do to cause _that?_ " Tigress asked, not entirely sure if she wanted to know.

Reidak looked at her, and despite his lack of eyes, she got the impression it was a very serious look. "I killed a man."

He said no more after that.

* * *

"I'm still impressed by the size of this inn," Master Rooster remarked. "It's so big, I hear they even managed to squeeze some of the tournament staff in here. Well I guess they have to live somewhere right?" he laughed.

"Mmm," Shifu nodded. Viper got the distinct impression he already disliked the bird.

She turned to Bei on her left, slowly picking away at her food. "Is something wrong?"

It was a promising sign that she didn't startle the hare this time. "…It's nothing. I'm just a little anxious about the upcoming trials, that's all."

"Do not worry about the coming trials, Bei," Shifu reassured her. "My old master had a saying: 'Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present'. Do you understand?" Bei quirked her head to the side quizzically.

"Focus on today," Rooster summarized. "I could've told you the same thing with much fewer words."

"Clearly, you don't know how to construct a proper koan," Shifu said through his teeth.

"I just don't see why you have to beat around the bush like that. Why can't you just say what you mean?"

Viper cleared her throat before things got out of hand. "So Master Rooster, how did you and Bei meet?"

It was the first question she could think of, and one she regretted as soon as she asked. Rooster's head drooped a bit, as did Bei's. But before she could take the question back, Rooster spoke up. "…Bei knew of me through her father, Master Swift Hare. He was one of my best students."

When no one questioned his use of past tense, he looked up again. "I see you already know of him."

"We did some research on the other competitors a while back for…uh…strategic purposes," Viper said, seeing a warning look from Shifu.

"Then you also know that he was killed." His wing wrapped tightly around a cup.

"Yes, by his son, uh…" Viper realized she had never learned the son's name.

"Yang Chao," Bei said shortly. She wasn't eating at all anymore. "Master, may I tell the rest of the story?"

"Bei, we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to," Rooster said quietly, seeing her reaction.

"No, it's okay." Bei looked up, smiling slightly. "I think I can tell Viper at least." Rooster shot Viper a look that clearly read "What the heck did you do?"

"Yang Chao was my big brother," Bei said, stating the obvious. "I didn't know him very well, as he'd run away from home before I was even born. But eventually…he came back." She frowned. "When I was six, he led a group of bandits in a raid on our home. My father, Master Swift Hare, attempted to resist, but he was…killed…along with my mother."

She paused for a moment, and Viper put her tail on the hare's shoulder sympathetically. Even if she knew part of this story already, hearing it from Bei herself made it much worse. "But that gave me the time to escape. I fled to Master Rooster's compound in the middle of the forest. He started training me there, along with his other students."

"Who are these other students?" Shifu asked, drinking from some tea.

"Bao Zhi, Bing, and Gishi. They're good friends. Oh, and also reformed criminals." Shifu spat out his tea in the background as she continued. "Anyway, with their help, we took down all of the guys who attacked my family. I faced Yang Chao myself and, well…stopped him." She went back to her food. Viper had a feeling she hadn't quite earned enough trust to get all the details, but she was satisfied for now.

"A few weeks later, I granted her the title of Master Silent Hare," Rooster said proudly. "I mean, I couldn't just name her Swift Hare II, so I went with "Silent", cause' you know…"

"Has she always been so…withdrawn?" Shifu asked.

"Unfortunately. It's really only when it comes to conversation though. She has no problem beating up strangers, as I'm sure you've noticed. I heard about the Wu Xing Tournament coming up and thought this might help her interact with others more." He looked to Viper approvingly. "I'm glad to see she has at least made a new friend, and a female friend at that."

"That must be nice," Viper agreed. "I could really use a female friend too."

"Hmm? What about Master Tigress?" Bei asked.

"She…doesn't really count," Viper said, rubbing the back of her neck with her tail. "We tried to take her to a spa once and she got us kicked out when she mistook a towel for a weapon."

Bei laughed, a surprisingly loud sound. "I've never been to a spa actually."

Viper's face lit up. "Great! That's the first place we'll go after the next trial. My treat."

"That would be nice. Thank you. I was wondering if you…uh…you…" Bei twiddled her fingers anxiously for a moment, trying hard to ask something, but not quite able to spit it out.

"I believe Bei is trying to invite you to our compound," Rooster said. Bei smiled sheepishly and nodded.

"I'd love to. I'm interested in meeting these other friends of yours." She noticed Shifu's dark expression. "Er, assuming that both of our masters agree to the idea."

"Like hell we do!"

Viper recoiled and stared at Shifu in shock, until she realized the voice she heard did not belong to him.

The four looked across the table, where Mei Ling was yelling angrily at the wolf, De Lu. Crane looked back at them and smiled nervously as the outraged feline continued her ranting.

Trying to ignore them, Shifu cleared his throat. "As I was about to say, you are welcome to visit Yin Bei's home anytime, Master Viper."

 _Sure you were_. "Thank you, Master Shifu."

* * *

"So how do you feel about the upcoming trials, Po?"

Po, who had quickly gone back to the feast again, wasn't expecting the question. "Why are you talking to _me_ all of a sudden?"

"Because my previous conversational partner is no longer feeling talkative." She gestured to Reidak, chugging down multiple cups of tea while in deep thought.

"Oh…well, what's left? Earth, Fire, and Metal right?"

"Right," Tigress nodded. "And we just did Water, so according to the Wu Xing cycle, the next trial should be…" she trailed off, suddenly looking very confused. "…Wood."

"But we already did Wood."

" _I know!"_ she hissed. "That's strange though. I figured this tournament would follow the natural cycle, but I guess I never really thought about it, what with all the dangerous traps and competitors after us."

"What's the natural cycle?"

"Po, are you serious?" she asked dryly. "You know the most obscure, inane facts about kung fu lore imaginable, but you don't know one of the most basic concepts of Chinese philosophy?"

"I wasn't really the best student in school," Po shrugged, still chewing on a bean bun.

She sighed, and as Po reached for another bean bun, she snatched it away. "Then pay attention, or no more food."

Po nodded quickly.

"The Wu Xing cycle refers to the five elements of the world and how they interact with each other. Each element generates the next in the cycle. Wood feeds Fire, Fire creates Earth, Earth bears Metal, Metal enriches Water, and Water nourishes Wood. Get it?"

Po listened intently. "Yeah, I think so…but wait, shouldn't the Trial of Fire have come after Wood then?"

"Exactly. For whatever reason, this tournament isn't following the cycle it's named after. In fact…it seems to be going in reverse. Wood was followed by Water, the element that is supposed to generate it."

"You think Metal might be next then?"

"So you _were_ paying attention." She tossed him the bean bun, which he snatched out of the air like a trained mutt. "Yes, that seems likely. But why?"

"Just another thing to add to the mystery pile," Po sighed, leaning back in his seat. This caused his legs to stretch further under the table, where they came in contact with…something. "Here's another. What's that furry thing brushing up against my leg?"

Tigress, with no visible reaction whatsoever, reached under the table and pulled out a shrieking Xingfu by the tail. "Xingfu?! What were you doing under there?!" Po asked.

"I was totally not eavesdropping on you!"

"Right...hey, since you're here, why not share your backstory with us? Everyone else seems to be doing it."

She grinned. "Sure! I was born in-"

Tigress whipped her arm roughly to the side, throwing Xingfu straight through the doors to the dining hall. The gorilla bouncer casually closed them behind her. "She's persistent, I'll give her that," Tigress admitted.

"Why can't she just leave me alone?" Po groaned. "Wait, do I want her to? I mean, she did save my life. AUGH, I'm so conflicted!"

With no other recourse, Po went back to the food. At least _that_ never confused him.

* * *

"May I have everyone's attention please?"

Coming from just anyone, that question was not likely to be heard. But coming from the Emperor of China himself, every conversation ceased and every head in the room turned to face him. The Asiatic Lion stood tall at the foot of the table, notably surrounded by bodyguards. He glanced over the crowd once and nodded approvingly.

"I am glad to see everyone could make it tonight. As you well know, the Wu Xing Tournament only occurs once every fifty years. It is an honor that most of us in this room will only ever get to be a part of once in our lifetime. I myself never thought I would be given the chance to speak on such a momentous occasion."

He turned his attention purely on the competitors now. "As for all of you in the Final Ten, I do not speak lightly when I say that you must cherish this moment for the rest of your lives. And remember, this tournament is not about claiming the fame and fortune that comes with the title of Wu Xing Champion, but to bring all of our respective styles and schools together in a show of companionship."

It was clear by some of the competitors' faces that not all of them agreed with this sentiment, but not wanting to incur the Emperor's wrath, they remained silent.

"So to the nine of you who aspire to reach the end, and to the one of you who will prove to be more than they appear, I wish you…good luck." The Emperor bowed to the group, an action which shocked a few present, looked over them one last time, and finally turned away.

To the unaware, it would appear he had merely given congratulations in advance to the eventual Wu Xing Champion. But there was a pointed double-meaning in his words, and he had no doubt Danzaburo was smart enough to pick up on it. He had hoped he might see some sort of reaction from whoever the spy was impersonating, but that was not the case. Unfortunate, but hardly surprising. If he were that easy to catch, they wouldn't be in this situation.

Right on cue, a wolf guard cleared his throat. "Your Highness, we have just received a message from the Imperial City. Your scholars have found the information you requested."

The lion's eyes widened, and he led his entourage farther away from the table where there was no chance of them being overheard. "On Master Golden Gibbon?" he asked quietly. "Or on Danzaburo?"

"Well…that's the thing, sir…" The wolf handed him a single sealed scroll.

The Emperor hurriedly opened the scroll and read it over. As he did, his expression grew more and more anxious, and the object began to shake in his trembling paws.

"What…what _is_ this?!"

* * *

 _Eezveeneete - Sorry_

 _If it's not blatantly obvious by now, Reidak is based off of comic book character Daredevil. So if he seems a bit out of place, that's probably why. XD_

 _I'm curious if anyone was actually familiar with Wu Xing philosophy before this chapter. If not, I should point out that there is way more to it than I've covered here. For one, there is not only a "generating" cycle between the five elements, but an "overcoming" cycle, showing how each element beats another. It's also used for a hell of a lot more than just explaining the natural world. It's crazy how much stuff the Chinese use Wu Xing for, from medicine to military strategy to astrology._

 _For anyone who, like me, was wondering where the heck Yin Bei came from in the fist place, Mind Jack has officially posted the first chapter of her story "Silence of the Hare". I'm not one to shamelessly plug people, but it's relevant to the chapter and shaping up to be a pretty cool story, so check it out if you're interested._


	17. Chapter 16: Tale of the Tanuki

_I had a little "incident" with the last chapter, which is why it came a bit later than usual. In the interim, I ended up working on this chapter as well. So now you get two put out right away. That should make up for it, I think._

 _To wrap up this little backstory intermission, it's time to give a certain spy his due. The third trial comes next._

* * *

Chapter 16: Tale of the Tanuki

The Final Ten Feast officially wrapped up soon after the Emperor's speech. At this point, only the Jade Palace representatives stuck around. The majority of the guests said their farewells and left to return to their rooms.

Danzaburo was not one of them. He wasn't afraid of the Jade Palace masters by any means, but he didn't feel comfortable in his room with them so close by. Just having to listen to their voices was making him far too restless, and restlessness leaded to recklessness. He needed solitude. Complete solitude.

So he left the Valley of Peace behind, left it all behind for just a little while, and journeyed to a particular location he had read about while researching this land. It was supposedly the birthplace of kung fu, and a place where one could truly get in touch with the spiritual energy of the universe. He wasn't one to believe in that kind of mysticism, but he had to admit, the place was quite breathtaking.

He had made his ascent up the Wu Dan Mountains in the form of a crane, one native to these lands naturally. He was so adept at flight that he could look indistinguishable from an actual bird, and that worked to his advantage. But now he assumed his true form, and he already felt more relaxed doing it here than in his stifling dark room back at the inn. Now he could actually feel the sunlight on his face, the wind ruffling his fur, the grass beneath his paw pads. Yes, this was much preferable. It was a shame he couldn't do it more often.

Walking up to the edge of the Pool of Sacred Tears, Danzaburo peered inside, smiling as he saw his own face look back at him.

* * *

The Emperor looked over the scroll held in his large, shaking paws. He had asked his royal scribes for information about Master Golden Gibbon and about Danzaburo...but he was never expecting to get both at once.

"What is it, Your Highness?" Grandmaster Shifu asked from the table. They had all noticed the lion's reaction, and this is why they hadn't left.

But he couldn't tell them yet. Not until he was sure. "…I will return shortly. I must speak to Lao Pi." Without another word, he got up and left the dining hall. He could sense the masters staring at him curiously, but he ignored it. His bodyguards were likewise dismissed for the time being, and they awkwardly started helping themselves to the leftovers as soon as he was out of sight.

After a quick stop by the reception desk, whose occupant looked like she was about to faint at the sight of him, he learned the location of "Lao Pi's" room. Approaching the door, he took a deep breath and rapped on the surface three times.

There was no response. It made sense that someone who put on the facade of an old, cranky geezer wouldn't be very forthcoming with visitors. He knocked again, this time getting something. "Go away! I don't want whatever you damn kids are trying to sell me!"

"This is the Imperial Emperor. I wish to speak with you."

There was compete silence, and he could practically sense the elder's shock as he registered this.

After a few seconds, there was a sound of many, many locks being undone, and then he was standing before him. Even as old and decrepit as he looked now, Master Gibbon was still very recognizable. He could kick himself for taking so long to be certain of his identity.

"May I come in?"

"Of course." He stepped aside and let the Emperor enter. No sooner did he do so, then the door was shut and tightly locked once more. He turned to the Emperor and looked at him expectantly.

"…Master Gibbon?" the lion asked hesitantly.

"Never heard of em'. You must have me confused with someone else, Your Highness."

He would've almost been disappointed if his old friend admitted to it this easily. "Do you remember when my father died, Master Gibbon? I was only fifteen at the time, and very anxious about having to rule the country. You pulled me aside, and do you remember what you said to me?" The gibbon looked away and didn't respond. "You said that I was being selfish for doubting myself when it was the people I should have been worried about. That my father had complete confidence I could be as strong a ruler as he was, perhaps even stronger."

He remained silent. "And that you would personally cave in the head of anyone who said otherwise."

Finally, he let out a chuckle. "…Yes, I remember that. Sorry, I was never very good at cheering people up."

"So you admit it?"

"Yes." Master Gibbon smiled at him, an expression that looked completely alien on the face of the old grouch. "I must apologize for the deception, Your Majesty. I had to know for sure that you were not…"

"Danzaburo?"

Gibbon stepped back in shock, and the Emperor worried that he might have just made him suspicious again. He hastily dug the scroll out of his robes and threw it in front of him.

"I see…" He only needed to read a few characters to understand. "I guess you finally got curious enough to inquire about my little disappearing act, eh?"

He couldn't help but feel guilty, especially since curiosity was not what had led him to this. "Shortly before my father's death, he gave you a mission to capture the spy of a thousand scents and keep him from stealing any more information from our country. But he died before you left for this mission, and he swore you to secrecy. So you stuck around just long enough to see to my preparations, and then vanished without a trace," he summarized.

"Yep, that's about right."

"And that's why you've shown up again after all this time. You're still chasing Danzaburo." He couldn't hide how impressed he was by this. Master Gibbon had spent over half of his life on this one mission and he still hadn't given up, even after the rest of the court had forgotten he existed.

"Now I know what you're thinking," Gibbon said, waving a finger at him. "You must think I'm crazy to still be going after this guy when he's eluded me for decades. But let me tell you, I haven't just spent this time twiddling my thumbs. I've gathered boatloads of information on Danzaburo. If he knew I had all this, he'd be shaking in his fur right now."

"Fur?" the Emperor asked. "You mean to tell me you know his true species?"

"More than that. I know his history," he grinned. "So sit down for a while and let me tell ya."

Master Gibbon was awfully informal to be addressing the son of heaven, he always was, but he could hardly hold that against him right now. The lion sat himself on the floor across from him as Gibbon began to speak.

"Now Danzaburo, he comes from a clan known as the tanuki…"

* * *

He looked over his reflection in the pool, taking in every detail while he had the chance. He was a rather small creature, barely taller than Grandmaster Shifu, wearing simple black pants and a black sleeveless jacket. On the back of the jacket, a pair of kanji (擬態) were written in white, reading "mimicry". Aside from this, the only clothing he wore was a large Japanese sun hat that shielded the top of his head.

His fur was mostly brown, but his arms and legs were entirely black, as were the stripes on his big bushy tail. Though he wore a smile on his face, his brown eyes remained cold and empty, surrounded by a black facial mask. Perhaps his most prominent feature though, was a single leaf that perpetually hung out of the right side of his mouth like a toothpick.

"Yes…this place will do," Danzaburo said softly. He gazed deeper at his reflection, at the expression in his own eyes. No one else in his clan had eyes like this. Theirs were much more energetic, for his kind was practically obsessed with fun and mischief, often at the expense of others. The tanuki loved to play tricks on people, aided by their natural shapeshifting abilities. These "tricks" were mostly just harmless pranks, stuff like turning leaves into money or masquerading as someone's wife to humiliate them in public. Few were as talented at the art as him, but most tanuki could still do it to some extent.

Then they would gather around and party the night away, engorging themselves on sake and beating out drum beats on their own fat bellies. Just the thought of such fond memories made his smile start to widen.

He shook his head free of them. No, those days were over. All great things came to an end sometime, and the tanuki clan's carefree lifestyle was one of them.

* * *

"The people of Japan simply put up with them at first," Gibbon explained as the Emperor listened intently. "There were complaints of course, but in the end, it was all just harmless fun. The tanuki never did anything actually dangerous. Until one day, there was an incident."

He sighed. "One of the tanuki went too far and played a prank on the Daimyo. I don't know how much you know about Japanese politics, but let's just say the Daimyo is not the kind of guy you make a fool of."

The Emperor was a benevolent ruler, but he knew quite well there were many who weren't, including some of his own ancestors. And so he could already see where this story was going. "The Daimyo was angered and frightened. Seeing what one tanuki could do, he came to believe that, left unchecked, they could band together and become a serious threat to his rule."

Gibbon smiled unpleasantly. "Good to see you still have your political knowhow. It was a ridiculous assumption to make. The tanuki were mere jesters. There was no way they would ever seriously conspire against the Daimyo. But he remained resolute, and so he sent out an order all across the land."

He looked into his eyes, his expression dark. "He began to hunt down and slaughter every one of them."

* * *

Danzaburo removed his hat, placing it into the grass next to him. He kneeled down in front of the pool and closed his eyes in respect.

He remembered those days well, when his clan found themselves on the run. Being such powerful shapeshifters, one might be tempted to think that it would be almost impossible for them to be found. Alas, most of his kind had only used their powers for simple-minded trickery. They had no experience disguising themselves for such long periods of time. Either they ended up blowing their cover under the pressure, or they simply couldn't maintain the illusion anymore, but the end result is that they were found.

As their numbers diminished however, something peculiar started to happen. Once the tanuki became rare, the Daimyo stopped fearing their abilities and began to value them. Soon, those that were found were no longer killed on the spot. They were brought to the Daimyo and "employed", made to use their natural talents for the job that most suited them.

And so, the remaining tanuki became spies.

* * *

"So there's more than one tanuki spy running around?" The Emperor looked down uneasily. Even if he felt some measure of sympathy for the creatures, he certainly didn't want to deal with a whole army of them.

"Not anymore," Gibbon shook his head. "I told you already, the tanuki used their powers for pranks and trickery. How well do you think they did with all that cloak and dagger stuff?"

"You mean…?"

"That's right. Those who weren't killed during the tanuki hunts were exposed on the job and executed. Very few had any real skill at it. In fact, only one proved truly adept."

* * *

Danzaburo lied on his back, staring into the sky as he thought of those that came before him. He may well have been the last of his kind, but given their nature, that was impossible to know for sure. Not that it mattered. He hadn't seen another tanuki in decades and he doubted he ever would again. Even his own parents had fallen victim to the trade, both caught in a mission to infiltrate a den of thieves. It didn't affect him as much as he knew it should have. By that point, he had already learned to suppress his emotions. All that mattered now was the mission. As long as he continued to complete his assignments, he continued to survive.

He had considered, more than once, the possibility of simply disappearing for good. He could assume a permanent identity here in China, or even in Japan if he were so bold. The Daimyo would never find him, of that he was certain. He could live out a new life, one of his own choosing. He could be whoever and whatever he wanted to be.

But he couldn't be himself. If he chose to erase his own past and live in hiding, then the tanuki might as well be extinct. He couldn't allow that. He refused to let the deaths of his ancestors be in vain. He would complete his mission, any mission, one way or another.

* * *

"Do not underestimate him," Gibbon warned, his fists clenched. "You think it's just a fluke that I've never managed to catch the guy in all these years? He is a master of deception. You can't make any assumptions when dealing with him. But this might just be the opportunity I've been waiting for."

"What do you mean?"

"Trying to find one tanuki in the entire Empire of China is a nigh-impossible task. He could be literally any _one_ and any _where_. That's why I've focused my efforts mainly on just trying to gather as much information as I can. But to infiltrate the Wu Xing Tournament, he can only be one of a small number of people at this point. This is our best chance of being able to capture him."

He nodded in understanding. "Indeed, but that makes me wonder. Does he know about you?"

"It's hard to say. I've been a lot more subtle about going after him than you guys," he chuckled. "Not that I can blame you. You've had a lot less time to work with."

"In that case…I believe it might be best that we keep our missions separate," the Emperor said reluctantly, much as he wanted to spend more time with the master he had neglected for so long.

"I agree. If there's any chance we have an advantage over him, we need to keep it." Gibbon stood back up and unlocked his door, opening it. "Thanks for the friendly visit, Your Majesty. Your compassion for the common folk is admirable." Instantly, his false persona was back.

"You are welcome, kind sir. Good day."

The Emperor bowed respectfully and left without another word.

* * *

Enough reminiscing. His mind was calm and he was at peace. It was time to get back to business.

Danzaburo reached over and picked up his hat, placing it back on his head with one paw. But as he turned to walk away, he felt a strange wind against his back. Looking over his shoulder, he could've sworn he saw what looked like a cloud of peach blossoms blowing away behind him. Odd, there were no peach trees in the area.

Disregarding it as a hallucination, the tanuki transformed back into a crane and took off for the Valley of Peace. He was calm now, but his mission was still threatened. For the sake of his clan, he couldn't allow these Jade Palace masters to continue interfering.

Something needed to be _done_ about them...

* * *

 _Yes, Danzaburo is a tanuki, a fact that I'm sure came as a surprise to absolutely no one. But for those unaware, tanuki in Japanese mythology are known to be powerful shapeshifters, even more so than the kitsune, or fox demons. There are many stories about tanuki pulling pranks or other mischief on gullible humans or other creatures. Another part of the myth is that tanuki get their powers from magical leaves, and that they commonly trick people by turning ordinary leaves into money or other valuables, which is where their strong association with leaves comes from._ _Danzaburo is named after one of the most famous tanuki of all, Danzaburo Danuki of Sado Island. I'll leave you to look him up if you want, but let's just say he's not crazy about foxes._

 _Tanuki are also said to have giant magical testicles, but you'll forgive me for omitting that part._


	18. Chapter 17: The Trial of Metal

_Since this has come up, I should point out that making speculations about the plot is perfectly okay. In fact, I welcome it. That said, anyone who wants to avoid potential spoilers should probably steer clear of the review section from here on out. Consider yourselves warned._

 _Now THIS trial is going to be a doozy. It'll definitely be the longest one in the story, so buckle in for lots and lots of action._

* * *

Chapter 17: The Trial of Metal

"Woah..."

This single word was uttered by Mantis at the end of the Emperor's lengthy summary of what he had learned about their enemy. It was the only word spoken by any of them in that span of time. But now that the insect had broken the silence, it opened a floodgate.

"Wait, so there's a whole _race_ of Danzaburos?" Monkey asked, horrified.

" _Was_ a whole race of Danzaburos," Tigress corrected. "Weren't you paying attention? He's the only one left."

"Po, are you okay?" asked Crane.

Po stared down at the ground, as he had been doing for a while now. He had found an uncomfortable common ground with the bad guy, which seemed to have become a trend with him. "I just feel kinda bad about having to stop him, you know? I mean, this whole thing isn't really his fault. And to be the last of his kind to boot..."

"So they say," Viper pointed out quickly. "That doesn't mean it's necessarily true."

He perked up slightly. "Y-Yeah, the rest could all be hiding out somewhere! Like in some secret village in the mountains or something!"

"That's ridiculous," Tigress said bluntly.

Po slumped over again.

"Think of it this way," the Emperor said, seeing him conflicted. "Whether or not he is really the last of his kind, he is the last tanuki this Daimyo has a hold of. We stop Danzaburo, we stop the Daimyo from ever abusing his species again. He'll be safe under our custody, of that you have my word. But first, we need to capture him."

After another moment of silence, Po looked up, his face full of newfound determination. "So what's our next step?" The Five mentally breathed a sigh of relief, worried for a moment that they were going to have a depressed teammate again.

"Well we now have a firm grasp of our adversary," Shifu said. "This information will undoubtedly prove useful."

A few of them looked like they very much doubted that. "Are your sure, Master?" Tigress asked. "I mean, he gave us his name without any hassle. I don't see how knowing about his past will help us figure out who he is now."

Crane sighed. "...I have to agree. To be honest, it feels like we're not making any progress at all."

"Don't say that!" Viper yelled at him. "We at least know for sure that he's not Lao Pi. That's something, right?"

"Speaking of Lao Pi-or Master Golden Gibbon rather-are we to believe that he will be continuing his own investigation alongside ours?" asked Shifu.

"Yes, we will be carrying out our missions separately for the time being," the Emperor answered. "I don't know what his own methods are, but I felt it best not to ask."

"Which means we've narrowed the pool of suspects down to five," Monkey counted out on his fingers (using both hands). "Assuming he's not one of us anyway."

There was a long, uncomfortable silence between everyone in the Hall of Warriors. A few of the masters started looking anxiously between each other. The fact that the tanuki had indeed been a few of them just under a week ago did not ease their suspicions.

"...Sorry, I guess that joke was in poor taste," Monkey laughed nervously.

"Regardless," Shifu coughed loudly. "I expect you all to be on your guard during the third trial today. Who knows what Danzaburo will do once we corner him."

"Yes, Master," his students chorused.

Soon, Po, Tigress, Crane, and Viper were ready to leave, their friends and master assuring them that they would be watching from the sidelines. The only one who didn't say anything was the Emperor, lost in his own thoughts.

He wasn't sure if Monkey's joke had caused it or not, but he couldn't shake the feeling that _something_ was not right about this...

* * *

The destination for the third trial was the Artisan's Village to the southeast of the Valley. Po and the Five had last been to this village when they stopped it from being overrun by wolf bandits stealing metal for Lord Shen. And instantly, they knew what the next trial was.

The Artisan's Village looked the same as usual, with the exception of the giant coliseum-like arena now built onto a nearby cliff overlooking the place. The arena was constructed entirely out of metal, clearly not from the village, which didn't look like it had enough to build a third of it. This magnificent building apparently wasn't enough to herald the arrival of the Final Ten, as the numerous musicians that inhabited the village lined the path into the arena, playing an overly triumphant theme that Po bobbed his head to and everyone else found obnoxious.

As they were led inside, the building opened up into a single, circular arena surrounded by a ring of stands. A giant Chinese character had been written into the center of the arena: "金". Master Bludgeoning Rhino stood on top of it, and stamped the ground firmly to get everyone's attention. He didn't need to do much to get it anymore.

"Welcome to the Trial of Metal!" he grinned. "Up until now, some of you have been able to get your butts through this tournament on nothing but cheap tactics and dumb luck. Well that ends here!"He gestured to the arena around them. "It's time to see how well you punks can actually fight! The ten of you will be randomly paired up and sent into the arena. After which, you'll beat each other's brains out until one of you can't fight anymore. The winner of each round will move on to the next trial!"

"So this just turned into some generic tournament," Kuai scoffed. "Lame."

The cheetah yelped and ducked as an axe came flying out of nowhere, sticking into the archway where they came in. "GAH! W-W-Where did _that_ come from?!"

"Sorry, I got a bit excited," Rhino chuckled. "You see, this being the Trial of Metal, that means you lot are going to have to be as firm, rigid, and self-reliant as metal itself. It also means you'll be _using_ metal."

"Using it how?" Po asked, scratching his head.

"He means weapons," Tigress stated.

"That's right!" Rhino pointed to the other end of the arena, where a curtain blocked the view of another room. "Behind that curtain is a collection of any kind of weapon you can think of. At the start of each round, each competitor will be given the chance to grab a weapon of their choice to face off against their opponent with."

"B-But what if we prefer not to use a weapon?" Yin Bei asked meekly.

"Oh, you can opt out if you want," Rhino shrugged nonchalantly. "But you'd better hope your opponent doesn't want one either, or you'll be at a severe disadvantage before the match even starts."

He turned to the rest of the competitors. "So how's that for an explanation? Short, simple enough for you?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Then there's one more thing I need to bring up. De Lu?"

The wolf perked up, and Crane averted his gaze. "In the last trial, you won yourself an advantage for being the first to bring back an egg."

" _My_ egg," Po grumbled.

"As a reward, you get to choose when you will fight and who your opponent will be."

The panda's eyes widened. He became acutely aware of a low growling and found that the black wolf was suddenly standing right next to him. "I will fight the Dragon Warrior, and I will fight him _now."_

Po gulped.

"I appreciate the enthusiasm, but you still have to wait until everyone gets here," Rhino said. "So all of you make yourselves comfortable while the spectators arrive. Then we can all enjoy watching the Dragon Warrior get ripped to shr-I mean, watch him fight De Lu." Rhino ignored Po's pointed glare and left the arena.

The waiting period this time was the worst it had ever been. Every competitor looked between each other with varying degrees of worry, wondering who they would end up fighting. Po, who knew full well, kept making anxious glances at De Lu, which only seemed to tick the wolf off even more. The only one not concerned at all was the lupine himself, who looked more than eager to get to his fight.

As the spectators filed in, the Jade Palace representatives caught sight of their friends and teacher up in the stands, along with Mei Ling and Master Rooster from the Final Ten Feast. Some of the previously eliminated competitors were also present, one of which wasn't willing to stay quiet about it. "Hiiiiiii Poooooooo!" Xingfu called out excitedly, jumping up and down and waving.

Po wasn't sure why he didn't expect her to be here. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking.

But even the fox's voice couldn't hope to match Chaonao's. _"Greeeeeetings everyone! Are you ready to see our competitors test their "metal"?! ...Eesh, tough crowd."_ The parrot sounded almost offended. " _Anyway, our trial today is a simple one! Two competitors walk in, one walks out! Rinse and repeat SQUAWK! At the end of the day, our Final Ten will be cut down to a Final Five! Who will make it through? Who will be bumped off? Don't go anywhere, folks! We've got good seats for everyone, and the staff will be walking around to pass out snacks! So sit back and enjoy the carnage SQUAWK!"_

"You ever get the feeling this tournament isn't the respected, time-honored tradition it was cracked up to be?" Tigress asked dryly.

"What was your first clue?" Lao Pi snorted.

Po flinched as the bird's next announcement came. _"Our first match has already been decided, folks! Round 1 will be De Lu vs. the Dragon Warrior SQUAWK! You don't want to miss this battle of fur vs. flab!"_

"This is fur too, you know!" Po shouted back, then caught sight of De Lu staring at him again. "...Hi."

"I will defeat you today, Dragon Warrior, and reclaim the honor you stole from me."

"...That's nice," he said, more than a little freaked out.

"It will be."

"Good luck, Po!" Xingfu shouted, instantly drowning out any supporting words from Crane, Viper, and Tigress.

Po and De Lu were escorted by a pair of rhino guards to the curtain in the back. "You will each enter the room on opposite sides," one guard explained. "There is a divider in the middle, so your opponent will not know which weapon you've chosen until you come out."

"A method of preventing one competitor from gaining an unfair advantage. I understand," De Lu nodded. Po took note of the fact that the wolf seemed to be calm and polite to everyone _except_ him.

"Uh...sure, that's cool."

The rhinos stepped aside and the two entered the room. As they said, Po found himself isolated as soon as he did. He was in a small, dark enclosure, with the arena wall on his left and the divider on his right. In front of him was a large box filled with an even larger variety of weapons. He knew De Lu had a similar box, already hearing the sounds of clanging metal as the wolf dug through it. He winced at the sound, wondering what kind of deadly weapon he would have to deal with. A club? A sword? An axe?

Po took a deep breath. Now wasn't the time to worry about that. What he needed to worry about was finding a weapon of his own. Problem was, he had never been particularly adept at weapons training. Sure, he knew how most of them worked, Master Shifu required it, but he usually preferred to fight with his fists and/or feet of fury. But he certainly couldn't count on De Lu _not_ finding a weapon to maim him with, so he knew he had to pick something.

Searching through the contents of the box, while being careful not to prick himself on any pointy bits, Po found an acceptable weapon pretty quickly. He pulled a long metal bo staff from the box and twirled it around in his fingers. The staff was the weapon he was most familiar with, if only because he used to practice with makeshift ones in his room. That was back when he was only dreaming of fighting dangerous battles and not actually doing it.

He gave it another twirl and nodded to himself. This would have to do.

Emerging from the room, Po was not surprised to see De Lu already prepared and standing opposite to him in the arena. The wolf's choice of weapon was not as intimidating as he had feared. It was a simple dagger, roughly eight inches long with a slight curve. Still, that thing looked pretty dangerous. He doubted his layers of bodaciousness (fat) would be enough to stop it.

At least he had a longer weapon. That would give him the advantage in reach. Po whipped out the bo staff and held it to his side triumphantly. "WOO-HA!"

He wasn't sure what kind of reaction he was expecting from the wolf, but complete bewilderment was not it. Actually, most of the audience was looking at him the same way, including his own friends. What was going on here? It wasn't the most impressive of weapons sure, but there was nothing wrong with a good staff.

Finally, Chaonao spoke, and he realized that even the announcer was utterly baffled. _"Er...it appears that the Dragon Warrior is supremely confident in his own abilities! To go into a battle of this magnitude wielding only a two-inch cutting knife! But is his confidence misplaced? It's time to find out SQUAWK!"_

"W-W-WHAT?!" Po reeled back in shock, looking down at the staff he was holding. Or what he thought was a staff anyway. Now, it appeared to indeed be a flimsy-looking knife, so tiny he could almost close his whole paw around it. "No way! This was _totally_ a staff!"

"You!"

Po looked up at De Lu, glaring at him from the other side. The wolf never looked happy to see him, but now he was downright livid. "You _dare_ mock me?!"

"Wha? No, no, no, I-"

 _"Round 1...BEGIN!"_

With a furious howl, De Lu leapt at Po, his dagger pulled back to strike.

* * *

 _Don't even ask how they managed to fit a coliseum anywhere near the Artisan's Village. Use Doctor Who logic if you have to._


	19. Chapter 18: The Lone Wolf

_In planning out this bout, I felt it might be better to split it into two chapters for the sake of pacing. Not all of the matches will be like that though._

* * *

Chapter 18: The Lone Wolf

Po yelped and held up his puny knife to defend himself as De Lu closed in. By some miracle, it actually managed to block the first stab, but he had no time to celebrate as the wolf master continued his assault, snarling fiercely. Po was driven further an further back as he struggled to avoid the blade.

Sure, he wasn't the greatest as knife-fighting, but he felt confident he could take this guy. Even if his weapon had a shorter reach, he wasn't nearly as experienced at using it, he was a much larger target, and...and maybe he should just focus on surviving for now.

 _"Well this looks to have gone very wrong, very fast! The Dragon Warrior sure is a lot more nimble than I expected, especially when he's running away SQUAWK!"_

"I am _not_ running away!"

He was totally running away.

* * *

Over on the sidelines, the remaining competitors were seated on some wooden benches, significantly less comfortable than the seats the spectators got. They all watched Po frantically dodge around, wincing at every near-miss.

"I can't watch," Crane groaned, putting a wing over his eyes. "Just tell me when it's over."

"I don't get it," Viper said. "Why would he choose something like that to fight with?"

"I'm not sure he did. I think I heard him say something about picking a staff." Crane lifted his wing briefly to answer her, then put it back down again.

"How does someone mistake a knife for a staff?"

"They don't." Unlike Crane, Tigress refused to take her eyes off the arena. "Po can be an idiot sometimes, but he's not _that_ clueless. This is a work of sabotage."

"Sabotage? But who could...?" Viper stopped herself mid-sentence, sighing. "Danzaburo."

"Who else? It seems he's getting wary of our investigation, so now he's trying to knock us out of the tournament. If he can do that in a way that injures or kills us, all the better."

"But...he couldn't really pull off something like this, could he?" asked Crane.

"Back when we first encountered him, Po mentioned that he could disguise weapons as leaves. Who says he can't also disguise weapons as other weapons?"

"Very astute observational skills, Tigress-san."

Tigress and Crane shot up, looking around frantically for the source of the voice. It took them a second to realize it was coming from directly between them. "Viper?!"

"Not exactly," the serpent smiled darkly. Viper's appearance changed ever so slightly; her eyes turned brown and the Chinese poetry written on her back was replaced with Japanese kanji. "I'm afraid Viper-chan cannot make it right now."

"How did you-!"

"What's going on?" asked Kuai, a few seats down.

"Nothing." The last thing she wanted to do right now was cause a scene. Kuai shrugged and turned back to the match.

"Where is she?!" Tigress hissed at the impostor, keeping her voice low.

"Broom closet. A pretty spacious one at that. Nicer than these seats honestly. They won't let you leave the arena right now, so I suggest you just sit back and wait for her to rejoin us. You wouldn't want to get disqualified, would you?"

Crane raised a wing to attack, but Tigress stopped him. "Don't bother. You think the _real_ Danzaburo would pop right up in front of us like this?"

"You've done it again. What a clever woman." Tigress growled softly, trying not to let the spy get to her. "Indeed, this is just another illusion. The real me is in this arena somewhere, playing his own part. But you already knew that."

"So you really did tamper with Po's weapon?" Crane asked.

"Correct."

Tigress narrowed her eyes. "How?"

"If you believe it was difficult for me to sneak into this arena in the dead of night, have my fun, and sneak back out, you do not know Danzaburo."

"Not _that!_ How did you know which weapon Po would choose?"

"Careful observation. He is a very physical warrior, not the type to rely on weapons normally. So I deduced that if he were forced to pick one, he would go for the simplest option available: a bo staff."

"Does that mean you've messed with the rest of our weapons too?"

"I believe Dragon-kun is the one you should be worrying about right now." Danzaburo leaned his serpentine head forward and watched as Po continued to struggle." How long do you think he will last? That, even I do not know. And I am just as curious as you to find out."

* * *

"Stop avoiding me, Dragon Warrior!" De Lu bellowed, swinging his knife in an arc. "I know how tough you are, so fight me! Fight me!"

"Easy for you to say!" Po yelled back, ducking under the blow, which chopped a few strands of fur from the top of his head. By now, he had gotten a few minor cuts from his opponent, but nothing life-threatening. Yet. "You're the one with the big fancy dagger, while I've only got this dinky little thing!"

"And whose fault is that?"

De Lu took another slash, which Po blocked with said dinky thing. "Not mine! And frankly, I'm getting really sick of you!"

Po abruptly shoved back, his strength making the wolf stumble. He quickly went low and swept his legs out from under him, knocking him on his back.

 _"And the hero of China finally does something SQUAWK!_ _Glad to see the idea of a kung fu panda wasn't as dumb as it sounded!"_

"You bet it's not!" Xingfu stood up in her seat and started doing a cheer. "Go Po! Go Po! Go, go, Po! WOO!"

But De Lu did not seem troubled by the sudden attack. If anything, he looked pleased. He got back to his feet, smiling. "Ah, finally."

Without warning, he leapt straight at Po and tackled him to the ground, knocking his knife from his paws. Po found himself grasping the handle of De Lu's dagger with both paws as the wolf pressed down, driving the blade ever closer to his throat. "Surrender, Dragon Warrior. Surrender or die."

 _"The Dragon Warrior's comeback appears to be short-lived! But is HE? I have a feeling we'll find out soon SQUAWK!"_

* * *

"Dammit Po, you can't die like this," Tigress said, her claws digging into the bench.

"Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay," Crane repeated, shielding his eyes with both wings now.

"Come on, Po! You can do it!" Xingfu called out.

"What's it going to be, Dragon-kun?" Danzaburo smirked, dragging his tail tip across his throat.

* * *

Po struggled for breathing room as he desperately tried to keep the wolf's blade away. "Why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you?"

The wolf quirked his head. "Hate you? I don't hate you, Dragon Warrior."

"Then why are you so hellbent on defeating me?"

"I see no reason to tell you."

"Oh, really?" Po raised one leg and kicked the wolf off of him.

 _"Amazing! Just like that, he's back in the game! But...what exactly was stopping him from doing that before?"_

It was well-known that Po's strength came from his motivation, and now he was more motivated than ever to find out what was going on here. De Lu recovered quickly, just in time to see Po pick up his knife and fling it away, embedding it deep in the arena wall.

"What are you-?"

Po sat himself on the ground, leaving himself completely open. "Either you tell me what your beef is, or I ain't budging."

* * *

"What?!" Tigress shouted

"What?!" Crane shouted.

"What?!"Xingfu shouted.

" _SQUAWK?!"_

"Fascinating," Danzaburo remarked.

* * *

"Are you mad?!" De Lu took a step forward, brandishing his dagger menacingly. "I could easily end your life right now."

"Yeah, you could," Po shrugged. "But you won't. Otherwise, you wouldn't have saved me from drowning in the last trial. So what's it gonna be?"

"...Hmph." De Lu lowered the weapon. "Very well. But let us talk as we fight. That's what the crowd came here to see after all."

 _"That's right! The Dragon Warrior's heroic stand was admirable, but not profitable! Get back to the action SQUAWK!"_

The instant Po stood back up, De Lu attacked, aiming his dagger down at the spot he had been seated. Po jumped backwards to dodge, acutely aware that he was even more vulnerable than before. Maybe throwing his knife away to look cool wasn't such a good idea. "I take it Master Crane has already told you my tale?"

Po quickly grabbed his knife and tried to pull it from the wall, finding that he had stuck it in deeper than he thought. "Sure, up until the part where you died, except didn't."

Getting the knife out just in time, Po deflected De Lu's next strike and rolled around behind him. But the wolf was prepared and struck out backwards with a kick, pushing Po several feet away. "Good. Then I will skip to the part that matters. I was indeed lost in battle that day, but I was not killed. I was captured."

"Captured? By who?" Po ducked again as De Lu's knife sailed over his head, then made a rather half-hearted attempt to strike back. His stab missed the wolf as a result, but his knife did manage to snag the edge of his pants. Yanking hard to the side, Po spun him around, opening him up for a roundhouse to the gut.

De Lu fell to one knee, gasping. "It was someone I am sure you know, Dragon Warrior. A young warlord named Shen."

"Shen?!"

"Impressive stunt you pulled there," he added, getting back up. "Especially for a weapon you are clearly not familiar with."

"Uh...thanks," Po said, not willing to admit he had just made that up on the spot. "H-Hey, don't change the subject! What's this about Shen?!"

"Shen's forces captured me on the battlefield and brought me to him," De Lu said, walking slowly around him, dagger pointed forward. "He had seen my skills, and so he allowed me to live. But only on the condition that I fought for him."

De Lu lunged forward and made a slash that Po blocked. He immediately backed off and tried the same thing from a different angle. Again and again Po deflected the blade, but he was starting to get a bit dizzy with all this whirling around.

 _"Woah! De Lu is circling the Dragon Warrior and attacking like a black, furry whirlwind SQUAWK! Will he be blown off his feet? With that girth, I kind of doubt it."_

"What choice did I have?!" De Lu shouted. "I became one of Shen's finest warriors, an assassin for his cause. I eliminated anyone he wished me to without fail." There wasn't a hint of pride in his voice.

"...What...then...?" Po panted, not sure how much longer he could keep this up.

Luckily for him, De Lu paused at that moment. "Then...while we were in Gongmen City, I caught sight of an old friend."

* * *

Crane didn't see De Lu turn to look at him, or even acknowledge his presence, but somehow he knew the wolf was talking about him. Looking up into the stands, his eyes quickly found Mei Ling, the feline's paw covering her mouth in a silent gasp. As hard as this was on him, he knew it must have been ten times worse for her.

"I can't believe it..." he sighed. "All this time, he was going through such misery. If only I'd known..."

"No one could have known," Tigress reassured him.

"I did," Danzaburo stated.

The tiger's fist slammed down on his head, the illusion vanishing into white smoke. Tigress casually lifted her fist from what was now just a smashed leaf. "If I can't catch him, I can at least shut him up. Do you feel better?"

"Yeah...thanks."

"Hey, where's Viper?" asked Yin Bei, looking over at them.

"Bathroom," they replied simultaneously.

* * *

"At that moment, I made a decision. I wanted to take my life back, and this was the perfect opportunity. Shen was quite occupied as you can imagine, so he left me on a ship with my platoon. My escape was...successful." He glanced down, looking almost remorseful. "But as I told my old friends, De Lu died that day. I could never just go back to them after all I've done. I am a lone wolf now."

 _"Someone cue the strings SQUAWK!"_

"That's terrible," Po said softly. "But...what does any of that have to do with me?"

Still looking down, Po saw the wolf's fists start to shake. "Ever since my capture, I have dreamed of only one thing: taking my revenge on the man who did this to me. Once I did that, I could reclaim my lost honor." He looked back up and glared at Po. "But now I can't, because _you_ killed him first! That honor is forever lost to me!"

Lulled off-guard, Po yelled out as the knife was suddenly flung from his paw, creating a large gash across the back of it. Clutching his wounded paw, he saw De Lu aiming the dagger at him again. "The only way I can get even a shred of it back...is by defeating Shen's killer in a duel. And so I shall."

Looking over his dagger in contemplation, he dropped it to the ground. "You are unarmed, and inexperienced with a knife regardless. That is not the duel I want. So if you still have some fight in you Dragon Warrior, stand up and face me paw-to-paw." He dropped into a Wolf Style kung fu stance, beckoning the panda to strike.

Po stood up opposite to him, ignoring his injuries as he took up his own stance. "No problem. You want me to fight? I'll give you all the fight you can take. Get ready to feel the thunder!"

* * *

 _-chan: A Japanese honorific used to refer to young/pretty girls._


	20. Chapter 19: A Settled Grudge

_Po vs. De Lu, part 2! You can already tell this third trial is going to be massive, huh?_

* * *

Chapter 19: A Settled Grudge

"The Dragon Warrior is doing remarkably well," the Emperor observed. "You should be proud, Grandmaster."

Shifu nodded, somewhat begrudgingly. "Indeed. Po's methods often seem stupid and nonsensical, but sometimes I wonder if he is really the wisest of us all."

"Personally, I think he just has a good luck charm shoved somewhere up that giant butt of his," said Mantis. He and Monkey sat next to them, avidly watching the match.

"Your other students seem pleasantly surprised as well," the lion chuckled, glancing down at the rest of the Five. "Hold on...where is Master Viper?"

"What?!" Shifu stood up in his seat and scanned the competitor benches. The serpent was nowhere in sight. "What's going on here?! If Viper doesn't show up for her match, she'll be disqualified! Monkey! Mantis!" The two students shot up. "Find Viper and get her back in her seat before her match starts!"

They looked disappointed. "But we'll miss the rest of Po's fight," Monkey whined.

Shifu glared sternly, and that was all the incentive they needed to get going.

"I don't like this," the red panda said. "It's not like Viper to just wander off. Something must have happened to her."

"Or _someone,"_ the Emperor corrected, anxiety starting to creep into his voice.

"Yes, that appears to be the case. And I have a feeling it's only going to get worse from here."

* * *

 _"The fight is back on! Both the Dragon Warrior and De Lu have now ditched their weapons because hey, it's not like we put a lot of effort into these trials or anything! Just go ahead and ignore the creative challenges we come up with! I don't mind at all SQUAWK!"_

Po was expecting the wolf to attack the instant he challenged him, and he was not disappointed. De Lu came at him immediately with a flying kick that Po ducked. He spun around on the spot and made another kick at his head, which the panda blocked this time. He tried to grab De Lu's leg to throw him, but the wolf shot away before he could. Po chased after him and threw a series of punches in his direction. De Lu dodged or blocked them all, and jumped out of range again.

"Agh! That is SO annoying!"

"Apologies if my style annoys you, Dragon Warrior," he said sardonically. "Now may we continue?"

Po instantly took a snap kick to the face, followed by three more. He countered with a punch, that De Lu caught, grabbing Po by the arm and flipping him over his shoulder onto the ground. By the time he got up, De Lu was at a distance again, and he was getting increasingly frustrated. "What is going on here...?"

 _"It appears De Lu is employing classic Wolf Style techniques, moving in and out of the Dragon Warrior's range to throw off his timing, using his aggression against him SQUAWK!"_

De Lu blanched. "Don't TELL HIM THAT, you squawking simpleton!"

 _"Sorry Fido, just doing my job!"_

"So that's it," Po said, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "Well if I can attain Inner Peace, I'm not gonna let _you_ get under my skin. I'll just have to find your weakness."

"Find my weakness? You think it'll be that simple?" De Lu glowered at him. "Then show me what you've got, Dragon Warrior. I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

Mei Ling gritted her teeth. She had never been this on-edge watching a fight before. She usually only watched her students, and then she had a clear side to root for. Even if her student lost, that was simply incentive for her to take their training further, to ensure that they would not repeat their mistakes the next time.

But this...how could she be expected to take a side in this? One of the competitors was Po Ping, the Dragon Warrior, hero of China and a good friend of Crane's. She couldn't very well root against him.

On the other paw, his opponent was De Lu, one of her oldest and dearest friends, and he had now confirmed this fact. It was not so long ago that she had hated the wolf, and couldn't care less what happened to him. That was before she heard the full story, and now she just couldn't bring herself to hate him anymore. But did that mean she wanted him to win? This was all so confusing.

 _Well whatever will happen will happen I suppose. Didn't the late Grandmaster have a saying about that? Something about peach seeds. Or was it apple seeds? It's hard to remember with him._

* * *

 _"Hey folks, remember when this match was exciting? Me neither!"_

De Lu watched his opponent carefully. The Dragon Warrior was a strange one alright. He thought he had a pretty good grasp of his fighting style before, but now...he wasn't quite sure _what_ he was doing actually. It sure wasn't fighting though. The panda had just been standing there, looking like an idiot for the past three minutes. Right now he wasn't even looking at him, just staring blankly into space and wobbling back and forth.

He was about to say "screw it" and attack when he figured it out.

"Oh, I get it. So this is your big plan? You know I'll just counter you again if you attack me, so now you're just waiting for me to attack first?" He chuckled mockingly. "Then what? You're hoping that will give you some insight on my 'weakness'? I can tell you right now it won't do you any good."

"Then go for it," Po shrugged.

"That's not the point! I am not kowtowing to you, Dragon Warrior! If you're so clever, then _you_ attack first!

"Eh, I don't feel like it. You go first."

 _"Look, I'm pretty good at this and all, but even I can't commentate about nothing for this long SQUAWK! Can someone just go already?"_

"You go first!"

"You go first."

"YOU GO FIRST!"

"You go first."

 _"Okay, this is getting ridiculous SQUAWK! New rule: if one of you doesn't do something in the next thirty seconds, you're BOTH disqualified!"_

De Lu snarled. "Fine! If that's how you want it!" He dropped down and charged the panda on all fours. "I am not losing my chance to regain my honor over some stupid technicality!"

For a few seconds, it seemed that Po would remain stationary. But as the wolf drew closer, he slowly crouched into his stance and faced him. De Lu smiled to himself, knowing the panda would either dodge out of the way or attempt to block his attack.

And then Po shot forward and kicked him into the wall.

 _"Well that was...something alright. WHAT exactly, I'm not sure. I'll get back to you on that."_

As most of the audience tried to pick their jaws up from the floor, the dust cleared to reveal De Lu, comically stuck in the wall. The wolf blinked a few times in shock and confusion, then pulled himself free. "Cute. Very cute. You caught me off-guard, but that's not going to happen aga-"

"Catch!"

"Wha-YAAH!" The wolf let out a canine yelp as his own knife flew past his head and into the wall behind him. "What do you think you're...?" He paused, even more baffled as the panda seemed to have just disappeared. _How can I lose a guy that big? He has to be around here somewhere and...why is it so dark all of a sudden?_

Getting a sudden sense of dread, he looked up. The Dragon Warrior, all three hundred pounds of him, was directly above him.

"SHAKABOOEY!"

De Lu gave a slight whimper as the panda came down right on top of him.

* * *

"What...just happened?" Crane rubbed his head with his wing, perplexed.

"Control," Tigress said.

"Pardon?"

"The weakness Po was looking for. A Wolf Style master is used to being in complete control over the battle. Po broke that control by doing what De Lu didn't expect, and that's how he got the drop on him just now, in more ways than one." She smirked. "Unfortunately for him, Po is probably the least predictable kung fu master in existence."

"Hmmm. " Crane frowned, not entirely sure how much he supported his old friend getting beaten up. What Tigress said made sense though. Indeed, Po had used this same tactic to great effect against Tai Lung (though he highly doubted it was intentional at the time).

Still...the De Lu he had known back at the academy would never lose this easily. He could only imagine what other tricks the wolf had up his sleeve.

He didn't have to imagine it for long.

* * *

"Two, four, six, eight, you all know that Po is great! Go Po! Go Po! Go, go, Po!" Xingfu continued her high-spirited cheer, which was particularly impressive considering Zhi Ming was sitting not ten feet away from her. The tortoise actually looked a bit frightened to be in her presence.

Down below, Po slowly rolled himself off of De Lu. The wolf was partially stuck in the floor and didn't move.

 _"Yikes, that has to be like getting buried by an avalanche SQUAWK! De Lu, if you're still...alive...could you let us know please? I mean, we have other matches to get to, just sayin..."_

He still didn't budge, and Po was starting to get worried he had actually killed him. But then he groaned, and his fingers twitched. The wolf brought both arms out of the hole and put them to the floor, then lifted himself up, shaking dust and dirt off himself as he got back to his feet.

"Impressive, Dragon Warrior. You have managed to throw a serious wrench into my battle strategy."

"Sorry, but it's kinda what I do."

De Lu ignored him, staring down at the ground in silence. "I didn't think I was going to have to use this...but I'm afraid you leave me no choice."

"What are you gonna do?" Po asked, tensing himself.

He let out a deep breath, steeling himself as he pulled one fist back and closed his eyes in deep concentration.

"I am going to remove the element of chance."

* * *

 _"De Lu has just made an ominous threat, folks...and now nothing's happening again. What is WITH you two?! Aren't kung fu masters supposed to be about constant action?!"_

"What do you think he's up to?" Crane asked, watching De Lu anxiously.

"You don't know?"

"I don't. Whatever technique he's using right now, he didn't learn it at the academy."

Crane stared closer at the wolf and his strange stance. He couldn't quite put a talon on it, but there was something... _off_ about him. His appearance hadn't changed, yet looking at him, he just knew that there was something unnatural going on.

"His shadow!" Tigress gasped.

"Huh? What _about_ his shadow?" No wonder he hadn't figured it out. A person's shadow was not something you typically noticed. He couldn't even see De Lu's right now, even though Po's was perfectly clear.

And that's when it hit him.

* * *

 _"WOAH! De Lu's shadow has vanished SQUAWK! I don't know what's going on here, but in my professional opinion, it's really freaking creepy!"_

"That is so cool!" Po squealed, doing a giddy little dance from one foot to the other.

"I'm glad you think so, because this technique is about to seal your fate." De Lu opened his eyes. "Behold, the Shadow Punch of Huoshan temple."

De Lu took one step forward and thrust his fist in Po's direction. From a distance, this seemed deceptively harmless, like the kind of punch one would throw if they were merely practicing forms. But Po knew enough about kung fu to tell a real punch when he saw it, and he instinctively held his paw out in front of him to block it.

Unfortunately, his insight wasn't quite keen enough.

Po screamed as he was suddenly thrown clear across the arena, an impressive feat for someone as large as him. He hit the ground hard, instantly feeling a searing pain in his right cheek. The wolf's punch had clearly hit its mark, but how? He blocked it, didn't he?

The onlookers were just as confused. _"Huh?! Folks, he DID block that punch, right? I don't need to consider a change of career? Because I didn't see a thing SQUAWK!"_

"Ugh, what _was_ that?" Po groaned, getting back up.

"It is called the Shadow Punch for a reason," De Lu smirked. "To put it simply, it is a punch that cannot be blocked, cannot be countered, cannot be avoided. Incidentally, this punch is also far more powerful than a normal one." He laughed triumphantly. "With this technique, it doesn't matter if I can't predict your next move. The outcome is guaranteed."

"Hold on, a punch that can't miss? That's totally cheap!"

 _"Yeah, not gonna lie, that's pretty cheap."_

"How dare you! This is a legendary technique!"

"What, of cheaters?"

"It is a bit dramatic for a kung fu tournament, I'll admit," De Lu said, reigning in his anger. "I usually reserve it only for the most perilous of battles. But to regain my honor Dragon Warrior, I will hold back nothing!"

De Lu immediately went into his stance again, already preparing another Shadow Punch.

"Oh no you don't!" Po rushed him. "You think I'm just going to stand here and let you do that again?"

But it made no difference. When he was only few feet from the wolf, he was violently thrown back by another invisible punch, this one straight to the nose.

* * *

"Well this is bad," Crane noted, watching the panda rub his sore nose furiously.

"How many of those do you think he can pull out?" Tigress asked.

"No idea, but I think the better question is how many can Po take?"

"Come on Po, Skadoosh his face in!" Xingfu yelled from above. Even she was starting to get tired of cheering.

* * *

 _"The Dragon Warrior is taking a heck of an onslaught from De Lu's Shadow Punch! But it looks like he doesn't want to stay down no matter how many times he gets the stuffing beat out of him SQUAWK! It's an amazing feat of determination and willpower...or perhaps all those punches have caused some kind of brain damage! Whatever the case, it makes for some good entertainment! It's about time SQUAWK!"_

"Why won't you give up?!" De Lu yelled. Worn out as the Dragon Warrior was, the wolf himself was also getting weaker and weaker with every attack. He knew he was pushing his luck using the Shadow Punch this many times, but he didn't think the panda would still be standing for this long.

"Funny, you're starting to sound like Master Shifu used to," Po said, wobbly but upright. "I'll tell you the same thing I told him. A real warrior never quits!"

He charged forward again, only to be blown back by another Shadow Punch. He stayed on his feet. "What? Is that all ya got?" He ran at him again, and was thrown back again. De Lu was seriously starting to question the bear's sanity. Determination was one thing, but he wasn't even _trying_ to do anything different. What could be the point of...?

And then he realized something. Not only was his Shadow Punch not knocking him down anymore, it wasn't pushing him as far back either. Slowly but surely, the panda was getting closer to him. Finally, he got close enough to take a swing at him, which the wolf just managed to leap away from.

 _"And De Lu gets outdone again! I'm starting to sense a pattern here!"_

Snarling in rage and humiliation, De Lu threw a punch, a normal one, at Po's head. By this point, he expected the panda to be too weak to block it. It would be the last time he underestimated him.

Po caught his fist and looked him in the eye, a confident smile on his face. "Sorry, _that_ one you're not getting past me. But what about you?"

With a speed unfathomable from such a creature, Po's fist shot up and nailed De Lu in the face. He staggered back, struggling to maintain his balance. But the combination of Po's attacks and his taxing Shadow Punch proved too much, and the black wolf finally went down. He didn't get up again.

 _"Incredible! By some miracle, or rather a boatload of miracles, Po Ping the Dragon Warrior has won! He completes the Trial of Metal SQUAWK!"_

Po grinned widely. "Skad-OOOOOW!"

It was as if the pain had only just registered. Suddenly, Po no longer looked like the legendary badass known as the Dragon Warrior. Now he was rolling around on the ground, yelling and moaning from his injuries. It wasn't the most dignified of victories, but he was the only competitor still conscious, so he won by default.

* * *

"He did it!" Tigress cheered, noticeably more enthusiastic than usual.

"Was there ever any doubt?" Crane asked, smiling. Though judging by the murmurings among the crowd and their fellow competitors, there had been quite a bit of doubt.

Hearing Po continue to moan and groan, Tigress's pleasantness quickly disappeared. "I'll go get him." The feline walked over to where the panda was lying and, not gently, attempted to get him back on his feet.

Crane however, was concerned with the unconscious wolf. So while Tigress was occupied with Po, Crane hovered over to De Lu's side. He wasn't alone either, as Mei Ling was there only a second later. "How is he?"

"He'll be okay," Crane reassured her. "Po can be overzealous, but he knows when not to use too much of that panda strength."

"That's good," she sighed in relief.

"I take it you've forgiven him?"

"Of course I have. He was my friend as much as he was yours, and I can't hold a petty grudge against him after hearing that story. But it's not just that." She swallowed nervously. "That ship he mentioned...I heard about what happened on it. Let's just say, I understand what he must have gone through." Crane didn't know what she was talking about, but decided to let it go. It simply didn't matter anymore.

"Urgggh..."

More importantly, it seemed De Lu was awake.

"Crane...Mei Ling..." he said softly, seemingly forgetting that his last encounter with them wasn't so friendly. "Did...did I lose?"

"I'm afraid so," Crane told him.

He sighed bitterly. "So that's it then. My honor is forever lost to me..."

Mei Ling slapped him. Again.

"I thought you said you forgave him!"

"I do. That one was for being an idiot. We're your _friends,_ De Lu! You think we care about your stupid honor?!"

He looked confused for a moment, as if he wasn't sure whether to be relieved or offended. "But...I am not your friend anymore. Ever since that day, I have been nothing but a lowlife assassin."

"That doesn't make you what you are. It's who you choose to be now that matters" Crane smiled. "A certain panda could've taught you that."

"Really?" He chuckled weakly. "He could teach me a lot, it seems. I suppose I can accept defeat if it comes from the paws of such a warrior." He groaned in pain. "In the meantime...I don't suppose the two of you could escort me to the nearest medical facility?"

"No problem," Mei Ling smiled, lifting the wolf up her over shoulders with Crane's help. "Sorry, but I don't think the competitors are allowed to leave the arena just yet. I'm not about to risk you getting disqualified before you get the chance to kick butt yourself."

"I understand," Crane said. "Good luck."

"Likewise," Mei Ling gave a short wave, and headed out of the arena with De Lu. Crane didn't feel particularly disappointed that he couldn't go with them. He had a feeling they had plenty to catch up on anyway.

Tipping his hat to both of his companions, Crane returned to his seat.

* * *

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Po wins! Suck it, haters!" Xingfu did a happy dance, joined unexpectedly by an exuberant Mr. Ping.

"He's done it again," Shifu said, unable to hide the shock in his voice.

The Emperor raised an eyebrow. "Does it really surprise you, Grandmaster? I was under the impression this kind of thing was common for him."

"It is, but I'm afraid it's something you never quite get used to."

"He truly is a prodigy. I can already tell the people are going to be talking about this match for ages. I almost feel sorry for the other competitors."

"I just hope it doesn't go to his head."

"I don't think there is any need to worry about that from him," the lion smiled. "But one thing is for certain. The Dragon Warrior just earned himself a lot more respect today."

* * *

The Emperor's words rang true, for among the many eyes watching Po right now, one particular pair narrowed in keen interest.

 _So you managed to win after all, Dragon-san. You get more intriguing by the minute..._

* * *

 _Mr. Ping sure has been getting shelved in this story, huh? I figured I should at least give him a little cameo here. And Zhi Ming's? I just felt like it._

 _A big thanks to Assassin of Xion for your abundance of help with De Lu and his fighting style. This match would have been way more difficult to write without your input._


	21. Chapter 20: The Essence of Pain

_Compared to the last match, this one is pretty short._

 _The chapter however, is not._

* * *

Chapter 20: The Essence of Pain

"Get up, you big baby!" Tigress growled, practically dragging Po back to the competitor benches.

"But Tigress, I just took like ten invisible punches to the face! Hey, do you think those leave invisible bruises, because I'd really rather not have my face swell up..."

"Forget your face, Po. We have a bigger problem."

She finally managed to get Po into his seat. "Hey guys. I-oh, where's Viper?"

"That would be the problem," Tigress said blankly. "Danzaburo took her, and we can't go looking for her because the tournament staff won't let us leave the arena."

"But if she's not here for her match, she'll be disqualified."

She sighed. " _Yes_ Po, that would be the problem."

"Not for long, hopefully."

Po jumped as Master Shifu appeared out of nowhere behind him. He would never get used to that. "I sent Monkey and Mantis after her. He couldn't have taken her too far."

"I don't suppose this arena has a broom closet?" Crane asked.

"No. Why?"

"It looks like the professional spy lied to us. I guess I really shouldn't be surprised."

"Well, in the meantime, the rest of you prepare yourselves for your own matches. I'm sure they'll get Viper back here in time."

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, Round 2 of the Trial of Metal is about to begin! By random selection, the competitors in this match will be..."_

"No!" Tigress hissed. "If he calls Viper...!"

 _"...Master Rolling Fortress vs. Lao Pi SQUAWK!"_

They gave a collective sigh of relief. "That buys us some more time, but not much," Shifu said. "Monkey, Mantis, you two had better find her, or I'll need a week of meditation just to think of a suitable punishment."

* * *

"Soooooo...any ideas?"

Monkey and Mantis stood at the gate of the Artisan's Village. If Viper had been kidnapped before the start of the trial, as they assumed was the case, then she was probably somewhere in this village. If she wasn't...well there wasn't much chance of them finding her anytime soon. Still, even if she _was_ here, that left a lot of places to search.

"Mantis, you head west, I'll head east. Someone around here must have seen something."

"You sure about that? This is Danzaburo we're talking about. You know, the guy who's really good at not being caught?"

"Whatever, just go! We don't have time for this!"

Monkey and Mantis split up and scoured the village, searching desperately for their lost teammate. Neither of them were as close to the snake as they were to their fellow guys, but she was still their friend, and they worried for her.

And of course, the sooner they found her, the sooner they could get back to watching the action.

* * *

"So I'm up already, eh?" Lao Pi got up from his seat and did some preparatory stretches. His bones audibly cracked as he did so, but that didn't seem to bother him.

"My turn," Dun said, slowly rising form his seat. As usual, it was impossible to tell how exactly he felt about this match, but it was pretty likely that he didn't feel much at all.

The two competitors made their way over to the weapon room and disappeared behind the curtain.

"The old coot doesn't stand a chance!" Kuai boasted, leaning back in his seat.

"What makes you so sure?" asked Po. "I already kicked that rolly jerk's butt. He's not so tough."

"From what I hear, you merely inconvenienced him for a while. You've never seen Dun in a real fight," Kuai smiled, a dangerous glimmer in his eyes. "If you think he's only got some tough skin on his side, you're dead wrong!"

Dun emerged from the curtain first, wielding a long, double-headed spear.

"Huh. Not what I was expecting," Po admitted.

"I suppose you were expecting him to use a 'Dun'?" The cheetah rolled his eyes. "Come on, how redundant can you get?"

Lao Pi came out soon after, carrying a massive axe almost as large as his body. Yet the simian held it over his shoulder with one hand and little effort. This got even Dun to widen his eyes a little in surprise.

 _"The competitors have armed themselves! I can't say I expected either of their choices, but this looks to be a very interesting match indeed SQUAWK! Better than the last one at least! Yes, I'm still bitter."_

Dun and Lao Pi headed into the center of the arena, facing each other on opposite ends. Lao Pi took the axe from his shoulder and held it in front of him in a battle stance. Dun also moved his spear into position, but it was not a position that made him look ready for a fight. Instead of point one end of the spear at his opponent as most people would do, he held the weapon directly in front of him horizontally, forming a straight line across his torso.

Lao Pi grimaced. "Is this some kind of joke? Youth today! Always making fun of their elders!"

Dun blinked.

"No seriously, what the heck is he doing?" Po scratched his head.

"You'll see," Kuai smirked. "You'll _all_ see exactly how tough Dun really is. I just wish Master was here to see it too."

* * *

Lao Pi brandished his axe as he stared down his opponent. And stare was all the pangolin did, that completely blank expression that he simply could not read. Not that it particularly mattered how his opponent felt about the match. All that mattered was that he won. He had waited too long for this opportunity to complete his mission and he wasn't going to let anyone stand in his way, least of all this young punk.

But what would he do about his defenses? With his strength and this axe, he figured he might be able to put a dent in Dun's tough natural armor, but not much more than a dent. Would it be enough? Or would he have to find some way of getting through to his vulnerable underbelly? That might be even more difficult considering how well he had it protected.

Still, it had been a long time since he'd been in a real fight. A part of him was going to enjoy this immensely.

* * *

Lao Pi glared. Seemed angry. Dun wasn't scared. Had plan.

* * *

 _"Is everyone ready? Then let Round 2...BEGIN!"_

Lao Pi was the first to attack, charging Dun with his axe at the ready. His opening move was a side swing at his vulnerable belly, just to see how he would react. Dun blocked the strike with one of the spear blades and and hopped back. So at least he had _some_ sense of self-preservation.

Dun curled up into a ball and sped back at him. Only now did everyone see why had chosen the weapon he did, for as he was still holding the spear horizontally, both ends stuck out from his sides, making his rolling attack significantly more dangerous than before.

 _"Some impressive ingenuity from Rolling Fortress, who seems to have turned himself into a giant spoked wheel of death SQUAWK! Lao Pi is going to have his work cut out for him trying to get at that belly again!"_

"Not bad, sonny." Lao Pi leapt over the pangolin and landed on the opposite side. Dun turned around on the spot and came at him again. This time, the gibbon jumped up and brought his axe down right on top of him. As he expected, the blow bounced right off. He was moving too fast to make a clean cut. As he landed, Dun stopped abruptly and spun around, hitting the simian with one end of the spear. It was the blunt part thankfully, but it still knocked the wind out of him.

Dun came right after him, and Lao Pi had no time to dodge out of the way. Instead, he countered with a powerful punch that did no damage to his opponent, but knocked him far enough way to let him get his bearings.

 _"I believe this is what we call an unstoppable force hitting an unmovable object! Seriously, it might take a while for this fight to go anywhere SQUAWK!"_

Lao Pi smiled. Indeed, it seemed this match was going to be fun after all.

* * *

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Shifu asked.

"I believe so. That man seems more than capable enough of handling this fight," the Emperor replied vaguely. He couldn't risk blowing Master Gibbon's cover after all. As Emperor Huangzu Zihao III, he couldn't be permitted to show such concern for an old stranger.

But as simply Zihao, the young lion who still carried regret towards his old master, he was greatly concerned. He knew how dangerous this tournament was. He didn't doubt Master Gibbon's skills, but if something were to happen to him...how could he live with himself knowing he had just barely spoken to him within the past week?

But then he saw that faint smile on Gibbon's face, and suddenly he knew everything would be alright.

* * *

 _"Master Rolling Fortress seems to have Lao Pi on the ropes! A giant battle axe isn't going to be enough, and that's not something I say often!"_

When Dun came at him again, Lao Pi was ready. Raising one foot high in the air, he stomped down hard on the ground. A massive shockwave rippled through the floor of the arena, making the competitor benches rock violently. "W-Woah! This is gonna make me hurl..." Po groaned. Everyone nearby promptly scattered.

Seconds before he would've squashed Lao Pi flat, Dun suddenly found himself thrown into the air. Still spinning, the pangolin flew directly above the gibbon's head, who immediately saw his chance to strike back. Swinging his axe like he was hitting a ball, he sent Dun flying further upwards, past a startled Chaonao. Lao Pi then kicked off the ground, sending himself even higher, and spiked Dun straight into the ground.

 _"Woah! That was like watching a really violent ball game SQUAWK! Someone needs to make a sport out of that!"_

Dun was not hurt, but the impact left him dazed as he uncurled and staggered around for a moment, then flopped onto his back. This made his belly a very convenient target for the descending Lao Pi.

"Aw crap, Dun!" Kuai shouted worriedly.

Lao Pi held the axe below him and fell towards his target, intending to smash straight through Dun's belly armor and nail him. He was using the blunt end of course. He didn't want to cut the guy in half.

But whether or not he even could became irrelevant as Dun regained his senses at the last second and rolled himself onto all fours. Lao Pi's axe struck the pangolin's back.

 _"Ohhhhhhh, I FELT that disappointment! Which I'm sure is a heck of a lot more than Rolling Fortress just felt!"_

"Phew! That was close!" Kuai gasped, before realizing that everyone was staring at him. "Er...I wasn't worried. Not at all."

"Of course not," Reidak said dryly. If he had eyes, he would've rolled them.

Lao Pi cursed to himself as he landed. What a waste of effort. Now what was he going to do?

Before he could think of anything, a loud wailing sound pierced his ears. It was a horrible sound, a high-pitched squeal that didn't sound like anything he had ever heard before. The same wailing was heard by everyone, who looked around anxiously for the source.

 _"AHHHHH! What IS that?! Is this arena haunted?! No one told me there would be ghosts when I signed up for this SQUAWK!"_

Eventually, they did figure what this sound was, this foreign noise that was so alien they never would've figured it out had they not looked back into the middle of the arena.

It was the sound of Dun screaming.

* * *

"Oh no, he got him!" Kuai yelled. Looking more closely at the pangolin, they could see that what they thought was a completely ineffectual attack had actually managed to make a cut in Dun's protective armor and leave a small scratch in his skin.

And small it was. "Geez, and I thought Po was overreacting," Tigress said unsympathetically. "I've had worse paper cuts than that."

"I think I get it," Crane realized. "He's been completely invincible for most of his life. He isn't _used_ to pain."

"That's right," Kuai admitted. "Dun has absolutely no pain tolerance whatsoever. Even that little scratch he just got is overwhelming to him."

"Which means Lao Pi just got the upper hand," Tigress nodded.

"Yeah," Po said. "And I think it also means he just seriously pissed him off."

* * *

"Well well, I bet you're not feeling so indifferent now, eh?" Lao Pi taunted.

Still on all fours, Dun turned his head back to face him. On his normally stoic face was an expression of pure rage. "That. Hurt."

The pangolin charged him, no longer taking the risk of curling up. He twirled his spear above his head and thrust it downwards, where is was blocked by Lao Pi's axe. He made stab after stab, all being avoided or blocked, until he finally threw the spear up into the air, caught it with his tail, and spun around. This last attack swept the gibbon off his feet and sent the axe out of his hands. He recovered just in time to catch Dun's spear with both hands as he tried to thrust it into him.

 _"Just a reminder, you guys DID sign those waivers at the start of the tournament! We are totally not liable for simian shish kabobs!"_

"You hurt me. Now _you_ will hurt!" Dun growled.

This situation might have been problematic had Master Golden Gibbon not been known for his incredible strength. Grunting loudly, he yanked backwards. Dun was pulled forward and Lao Pi raised his legs, kicking him hard in the chest. Dun was flung from his own weapon and into the wall.

Normally, this would do little to him, but now the wound he had sustained earlier was aggravated. The pangolin fell back against the wall, making that horrible wailing scream again. The armor covering his belly was still intact, though now dented with two simian footprints. Realizing his weakpoint was exposed, Dun quickly made to curl up again as Lao Pi charged at him. Before he could, he found his own spear thrust into the plate, not deep enough to stab him, but enough to get itself stuck. Unable to curl up with the spear in the way, Dun grabbed the weapon and attempted to pry it out.

He noticed too late that Lao Pi had hopped onto the other end of the spear, and was now running along its surface towards him. "You don't have to worry about the pain anymore, sonny. _This_ one you won't feel until you wake up!"

He threw one last punch into the center of Dun's armor, shattering it completely. Several large cracks were left in the arena wall from the impact. There would have been much more had Dun's body not taken the brunt of the attack. The pangolin was left slumped against the wall, his long tongue hanging out.

 _"That does it, folks! Master Rolling Fortress is going to need some serious painkillers after this fight SQUAWK! The mysterious old geezer Lao Pi is the winner!_

* * *

"You see, You Highness? You had nothing to worry about after all," said Shifu.

The Emperor looked away. "Worried? I told you he would be fine, didn't I? I was not worried."

Shifu smiled knowingly.

* * *

"He did it!" Po shouted. "Cranky old guys for the win!"

"He is quite impressive," Tigress said quietly. "I can see why the Emperor remembers him so fondly."

"I can't imagine Mei Ling will be happy about this though," Crane frowned.

And of course, neither was Kuai. "Dun..." the cheetah gaped, horrified. He watched a team of medics come in and carry his friend away on a stretcher. "Damn it all, they'll pay for this..."

"Go team!" Po wrapped Crane and Tigress up in a bear hug.

"Po, we are _not_ a team! And Lao Pi isn't either, remember?"

"Oh, right. We don't knooooooow hiiiiiiiiiim." He winked.

"Seriously Po, stop that."

"Uh...not to ruin the happy moment, but we're still missing Viper," Crane choked out.

"That's right! Our team isn't complete without her. Man, I hope the others get back with her soon."

 _"Moving right along into Round 3, folks! The competitors chosen for this match are...Master Viper vs. Master Silent Hare SQUAWK!"_

They all gasped.

 _"...Really_ soon."

* * *

"I found her!"

Monkey's head shot up from inside a well on the other end of the village. "Wait, really?" They had been at it for well over an hour now, and were seriously starting to doubt they would ever find Viper.

Mantis's voice came from an old tool shack, perched on a sunken cliff out of sight of the main village. It was no wonder they hadn't found it sooner. Viper was lying in the center of the shack with a gag in her mouth, shouting muffled pleas for help. Her body had been contorted into a circle and chained together with a metal ring, a simple restraint for most species, but very effective at rendering a serpent immobile.

Unfortunately, it turned out that _finding_ Viper was the easy part. The snake was not alone in the shack. The floor around her was completely covered in leaves.

Monkey gulped. "Hoo boy."

* * *

 _The joke about Dun using a Dun comes from the Chinese word for 'shield'. I was indeed tempted to have him use one, but Kuai is right, that would have been the epitome of redundant. Speaking of weapons, the type of axe Lao Pi uses here is known as a "Yue", an especially strong and sturdy axe typically used against heavily-armored foes. It was pretty much the most appropriate weapon I could think of for him._

 _Yes, pangolins have long tails. This is totally not a detail I completely failed to notice during my initial research. Not at all._


	22. Chapter 21: Tanuki Tricks

_Sorry to say that we're not quite at the fight yet. Saving Viper took a bit more time than I expected. Still, I do consider this a part of the match, even if the match hasn't technically started yet._

 _Not to say that stuff doesn't happen in this chapter, because boy does it ever._

* * *

Chapter 21: Tanuki Tricks

 _"...Er...Master Viper?...Master Viper, are you here? We're all waiting on you SQUAWK!"_

"This is bad," Po panicked. "Don't tell me we're out of time!"

"How long could it take those two idiots to find her?!" Tigress growled.

"Master Viper sure is taking a long bathroom break," Reidak said curiously. Something in the tiger's voice told them he was more than a little suspicious of what was really going on.

"She's taking her sweet time all right," Kuai remarked bitterly. "They should just hurry up and kick her out already so we can get on to the _real_ fights." This comment got him glares from everyone on the competitor benches, but he didn't seem to notice.

 _"...This is a most unusual situation! It appears that Master Viper has flown the coop SQUAWK! This is horribly anticlimactic, but I'm afraid that under these circumstances, I have no choice but to disqualify-"_

"WAIT!"

The piercing voice was so loud it got even Chaonao to shut up, though not for long. _"W-Wha? Who was that?"_

"It...it was me."

There wasn't a single person there who would've guessed it was Yin Bei. The snow hare was shaking like a leaf, looking as if she might pass out at any moment. To be honest, even she had no idea how she wasn't completely freaking out by now.

* * *

But Master Rooster knew. The bird sat many rows above, his fiery wings folded in contemplation. Even from here, he could see how terrified his pupil was right now. He knew exactly how bad her little "issue" could get, especially in a crowd, and _especially_ when all eyes were on her. So he knew that there must be something keeping her from losing it completely, and he had a pretty good idea what it was. Or rather _who_ it was.

 _Congratulations Master Viper, you've made it into Bei's inner circle. Now you had better get your scaly butt in here and fight her or I'll personally drag you into this arena myself._

* * *

"So now what?" Mantis asked.

Neither of them had even dared to take another step forward yet, knowing that the multitude of leaves strewn around them could be anything from caltrops, to smoke pellets, to bombs that would send the whole shack up in flames.

"We save Viper," Monkey said simply. "We just have to save her...carefully."

Mantis took another look at the floor. "Yeah, easier said than done."

"Well we don't have time to sit around! If we don't get her out of here fast, we'll have missed all that fighting for nothing!"

Viper grumbled indignantly from behind her gag.

"Right," Monkey took a deep breath. "Here I go."

The simian started to slowly tiptoe his way between the leaves, using all of his natural acrobatic skills to keep himself balanced. It still wasn't easy by any means; Danzaburo had really gone to town on these things. Mantis stayed behind, wincing with every step, but Monkey didn't dare look back. That would only make him even more tense.

Viper made another muffled shout. "I _know,_ Viper! I'm working on it! Just let me-WOAH!"

The brief distraction had caused him to not notice a leaf under his right foot until he had very nearly stepped on it. Yanking his leg back reflexively, he overcompensated and lost his balance, falling backwards. Seeing the ground fast-approaching, Monkey extended all of his limbs and caught himself on the floor, his hands, feet, and tail all narrowly missing the leaves. He let out a gasp. "That was _way_ too close!"

Only problem now was that he was pretty much stuck in this position, unable to safely lift himself back up "Mantis!" he called out. "The leapfrog maneuver, now!"

"Got it!" the insect yelled back. Backing up slightly, he took a running start and leapt across the floor, landing directly on Monkey's stomach. "Phew! I wasn't sure I'd make that."

Monkey bit his lip. "H-Hurry up and jump to Viper! You're tickling me!"

The mischievous part of Mantis was tempted to take advantage of his friend's prone position, but the part that didn't want to die took precedence and he jumped again, landing in front of Viper. "Hold on Viper, I've got you. Let me just get that gag off..."

Mantis reached for the gag, only to find that it was suddenly no longer there. Neither was the metal ring restraining her. For that matter, neither was her natural eye color.

"NYAAAAAAAAH!" the snake yelled, sticking a forked tongue out at him.

"AHHH!" Mantis screamed in surprise and stumbled backwards.

Directly onto a leaf.

* * *

 _"Um...yes? Did you need something?"_ Chaonao looked all kinds of confused right now.

At least thirty seconds had passed since Yin Bei's outcry, and she was struggling to get anything else out. "Err...it's...I-I..." No, she _had_ to do this. She couldn't let Viper lose like this. She had been wanting a real fight with the serpent ever since they became friends, and she would be damned if she let her personal problems keep that from happening.

"I...I want to wait for her!" she finally managed to blurt out.

"Come on, don't be ridiculous," Kuai said. "If Viper gets dropped, you win by default."

There was some more confused muttering from those around her, but she did her best to block them all out. "I-I want to wait for V-Viper to get here! P-Please?"

Chaonao hovered there uneasily, rubbing a wing against his skull. The parrot was clearly conflicted. _"Well...the thing is...it's not really my call..."_

"It's _my_ call!" Master Bludgeoning Rhino yelled, stepping forward from the sidelines. "And I say no! A master who can't even make it to her match on time doesn't deserve a shot at being Wu Xing Champion!"

Bei paled. Chaonao was one thing, but no way could she talk back to Master Rhino.

"Actually, it's _my_ call!"

All eyes went to the top of the arena, where the Emperor of China was seated. "And _I_ say we wait! I refuse to let any match end without a definitive victor if we can help it. Isn't that our duty to all these fine people who came here to watch the tournament?"

Rhino growled softly, but much of the wind had been taken out of his sails. "Your Highness, we also can't keep all these fine people waiting around all day. That isn't fair to them either." If it were anyone else, that argument would not have been phrased nearly as politely.

The lion nodded. "Indeed. Then I propose a compromise. One hour. If Master Viper does not return by that time, she will be disqualified and the trial will continue as scheduled. Is that acceptable?"

Rhino didn't find it acceptable at all, but he sure as heck wasn't about to say that. Unfortunately for him, he no longer had any room to argue. "Very well. We will take a one hour intermission. One hour, and not a second longer."

"Agreed."

Rhino muttered to himself and stormed off.

 _"You heard it from the Son of Heaven himself, folks! The Trial of Metal will now take a one hour intermission SQUAWK! Feel free to take this time to get up and walk around! Just be sure to get back before the action starts! You won't want to miss a thing!"_

* * *

"Excellent idea, Your Highness," Shifu said approvingly. "But if I may ask, why didn't you simply do that from the beginning?"

"I wanted to see if the competitors would work this out for themselves. I don't want the people to become dependent on me to solve all of their problems. But I must say, Yin Bei surprised me."

"I think she surprised all of us," Shifu agreed. "But more importantly, now we have time to go looking for Viper ourselves."

The lion glanced over at the multitude of bodyguards surrounding them. "You go. You'll be much swifter if you don't have to lug me and my personal guard around. I will make sure that nothing else happens here."

He turned back to Shifu, only to find him already gone.

"Hmm. Just as the legends say."

* * *

"What did you do?!" Monkey yelled, still bent over backwards.

"I didn't mean to!" Mantis yelled back, hurriedly stepping off the leaf.

"Well you did! And now...now...nothing's happening."

"...Huh?" Mantis hesitantly stepped on and off the leaf again, then gave it a little kick. Nothing. "Okay, what's the deal?!" He whirled around on the Viper doppelganger, only to find that it had vanished.

"So what's up with that leaf? You think Danzaburo made a dud?" asked Monkey.

Mantis got a sly grin on his face. "One way to find out."

He jumped back on top of Monkey and this time started intentionally tickling his belly.

"Gah! M-Mantis, don't! I-urk-GYAHAHAHAHAHA!" Monkey's grip faltered and he toppled over, right on top of a whole bunch of leaves. He freaked out for a moment, until he realized that nothing was exploding or otherwise harming him.

"Mantis, what the hell?! You could've killed me! I-wait a minute!" He got up and started kicking a few more leaves around, his anger suddenly redirected. "Are you telling me these are all just ordinary leaves?!"

"That, and Viper's not here." Mantis pointed to the spot where the decoy used to be.

"Well that's just great! So we wasted our time doing all this?"

Mantis squinted his eyes. "Hold on."

"Hold on?! Viper's still in danger and you want us to-"

"Look at those leaves over there."

Monkey stopped, his curiosity peaked, and looked over to where Mantis indicated. At first, he didn't see anything unusual, just a few leaves that had gotten scattered around when he kicked them. But on closer inspection, those leaves weren't quite touching the ground. They almost seemed to be hovering a few inches above it. "...Huh."

"Yeah. Huh."

Monkey walked over and went to grab one of the leaves, but felt his hand brush against something else as he did so. Grabbing onto this other thing instead, he yanked back.

"Viper!"

The serpent had been bound and gagged just like the decoy, her already muffled shouts completely concealed by the whatever-it-was that was covering her. Monkey reached down and removed the gag, desperately hoping this was the genuine article. As soon as he got the ring off, she lunged and wrapped herself tightly around him in the snake equivalent of a hug. "Monkey, Mantis, you found me!"

This was the real Viper all right. That, or Danzaburo was strangely affectionate.

"Okay...explain," Mantis said slowly. "Because I _really_ don't get what just happened."

Viper sighed. "You remember when we were waiting around before the trial started? I guess I wandered away a little too far and I felt something strike me on the back of my neck. I woke up here."

"And the thing covering you?"

"I'm not sure. The whole time I could see you, but you couldn't see me. I tried yelling, but I couldn't get anything through."

"Must be another tanuki illusion," Monkey said. "And let's leave it at that. We've wasted enough time already. We need to get back to the arena."

"I'm afraid I cannot allow that, Monkey-san."

Standing behind them, directly in front of the exit, was Danzaburo.

* * *

Bei couldn't stop smiling. She did it! Okay, so technically the Emperor did it, but she had managed to stand up for her friend in front of a crowd without losing it. That was an accomplishment in itself.

"Of course," Kuai scowled. "Of course _she_ gets special treatment."

"WHAT?!"

Bei whipped her head around to see Tigress, Crane, and Po at the gate to the arena. Standing in their way were a pair of rhino guards.

"We _still_ can't leave the arena?!" Tigress yelled.

For someone staring down an angry tiger, the guard was surprisingly calm. "Sorry ma'am, Master Rhino's orders. I believe his exact words were: 'Don't let any of these other punks even _think_ about walking out on us. We don't need any more lost competitors causing a ruckus.'"

"Damn him!" she roared, smashing her fist into the metal wall. It dented.

"I can't help but notice that Master Rhino isn't even here anymore," Crane observed, looking around the arena. "Seems like everyone but us is filing out."

"And that includes Xingfu," Po said, relieved. "Thank goodness. Here I thought I was gonna have to fend her off for the next hour."

"What are we supposed to do now?!" Tigress asked angrily.

"Nothing we _can_ do but wait," Crane said with a shrug. "At least Master Shifu is out there now too. That betters our chances of getting Viper back."

"Back?"

They all froze as Yin Bei appeared in front of them. "D-Did something happen to Viper?"

"Uh, no, why would you think that?" Po asked innocently.

Bei just gave him an "Are you serious?" look, and pointed to her ears. She'd been hearing some weird comments from this group for a while actually, but the trial had kept her attention until now. By the sounds of things, Viper was in more trouble than she realized. _So she's not just irresponsible. Good, I've already got ONE irresponsible snake in my life._

Po leaned down to her. "Look, Viper's going to be okay. The others will get her back here in no time," he said gently, putting a paw on her shoulder. Bei flinched a little from the contact, but nodded. Slowly but surely, she was getting used to them as well.

* * *

Danzaburo just stood there silently for a moment, letting them all get a look at his tanuki form.

"So that's what they look like," Mantis noted. "Kinda resembles a raccoon."

"What's a raccoon?" Monkey asked, scratching his head.

"I believe I heard you mention the word 'tanuki', Monkey-san," Danzaburo said, staring down each of them one by one. "I'm curious as to how you came by that knowledge." Curious, and by the look in his eyes, royally pissed off.

"Like heck we're telling you anything!" Viper snapped. "Especially after you kidnapped me! I bet you've already gotten me disqualified!"

"Unfortunately, not. Your match with Bei-chan has been delayed. There was an unexpected complication. One that I now intend to rectify." His glare got even darker.

"Not gonna happen," Monkey said, getting into his stance.

"Wait, Bei is the one I'm fighting?" Viper asked. Somehow, this didn't surprise her.

"Guys, guys, what are you doing?!" Mantis yelled.

They looked at him strangely. "Uh...stopping Danzaburo?"

"No, you're making chit-chat with a cloud of smoke. This guy is clearly just another illusion trying to stall us. Let's just-" He was cut off as the "illusion" kicked him across the room.

"You know what they say about assumptions?"

Viper and Monkey closed in while Mantis recovered, and the three masters surrounded him. "I don't need any more data on you three," Danzaburo said, pulling out the leaf that normally hung from his mouth. It transformed into a steel katana in his paws, which he brandished menacingly. "But I believe this will be very enlightening regardless."

He attacked.

* * *

Yin Bei muttered to herself.

"What was that?" asked Po, edging closer to her.

"...She's still not back yet." Bei didn't make eye contact with the panda, but felt comfortable enough talking to him. There was something about this guy in particular that was just...inviting.

"I know." He twiddled his thumbs, unsure what else to say. It made Bei feel a little better just to see she wasn't the only one bad at conversation. "Look, I'm not sure what exactly happened between you two, but you really want to face off with her, right?"

She nodded.

"And do you think Viper feels the same way?"

She paused a bit this time, but nodded again.

"Then don't worry about it. Viper's not gonna let you down. She'll get herself to this arena if it kills her." Po's face faltered. "Well, I mean if it kills her, it wouldn't work...but it totally won't!"

Bei laughed a little. "Thank you, Dragon Warrior."

"Hey, no problem. It's what I do." Po chuckled nervously and looked away. _Man, I suck at giving pep talks!_

But behind him, Bei smiled a little. If Viper wasn't going to give up hope, then neither would she.

* * *

"Tigress, that can't be healthy."

Crane watched the feline pace back and forth across the arena floor, growling to herself. The fact that she was doing this on all fours made him worry that she was going to go feral at any moment and maul someone, most likely him.

"Bah! You young'ins today. No patience for anything," Lao Pi grumbled.

"I understand your frustration Master Tigress, but surely this aggression would be better saved for our own match," Reidak reasoned.

"That's a bit presumptuous," said Kuai, still bitter.

Of course, none of them knew for sure what was going on. She did, and it was driving her insane. She was already stuck in here for Gods-know-how-long, while Monkey and Mantis were probably out goofing off somewhere.

* * *

Monkey ducked the katana as it swung over his head.

Danzaburo turned to attack Viper next, and she contorted her body to avoid the blade as it slammed down between her coils. She then whipped her body up and struck him in the gut. Mantis jumped on top of his head, pulling his sun hat down over his eyes. As he struggled with the hat, Monkey ran up and delivered a flying kick to his chest.

The spy yelled and flew backwards, landing on the opposite end of the room. "This guy's a total wimp!" Mantis boasted. "We can take him easy!"

"You think so, do you?" Danzaburo reached into his jacket and threw at least a dozen leaves towards them. The trio tensed up, but then noticed that the leaves had only made it halfway to them before dropping to the ground.

"You need to work on your throwing arm, Danza-san," Monkey taunted.

"Oh, crap!" Viper shouted. It took them a second to notice the problem. The floor was still covered in leaves...and now it was impossible to tell which ones were safe.

Danzaburo chuckled. "Have you ever heard the saying 'knowledge is power'? Because _I_ am the most powerful opponent you have ever faced."

The tanuki dashed at the masters. Unlike them, he seemed to know exactly which leaves to avoid as he weaved back and forth between them. As he approached, he thrust his katana as Monkey, who leapt over it. Having anticipated this, Danzaburo swung the sword upwards, hitting Monkey in the back with the blunt end and throwing him overhead. The simian gave a screech as he came down right on top of the leaves.

He managed to land on his feet, but one of those feet suddenly found itself stepping on top of a mound of caltrops. Screeching even louder, Monkey jumped back out of the danger zone and started hopping around on one foot while clutching the other in pain.

Danzaburo blocked a kick from Mantis with his katana and struck the blade against the ground, sending a volley of leaves into the air over the bug's head. Mantis looked nervously between them, but was forced to jump through a part of the cloud to escape. He chose poorly, and was covered in a black tar-like substance that effectively glued him to the ground.

As he smiled in triumph, he was caught off-guard as Viper wrapped herself around his throat. "If you think I'm going to miss my match with Bei, you've got another thing coming!"

The spy's eyes bulged as he choked, and Viper watched him closely when he disappeared into smoke. She could still feel him underneath, and as long as she tightened her coils accordingly, she would be able to suffocate him no matter which form he took. She was even fully expecting him to turn into Bei herself, to try to guilt her into letting go. Not a chance. If she held back that much, she wouldn't stand a chance in their fight anyway.

But as the smoke cleared, she found that she was not strangling Yin Bei.

She was strangling Great Master Viper.

Viper gasped. She knew damn well that this wasn't really her father, but an instinctual drive not to harm her own family took over and made her loosen her grip. Danzaburo took immediate advantage and Viper was smacked off by her "father's" tail.

Viper didn't land in the leaves, but this was little comfort as she felt Danzaburo step on top of her, now back in tanuki form. He planted one foot near her neck and the other on the end of her tail, pinning her. He smiled viciously and lowered the blade of his katana so it hovered right over her face. She was not frightened. She was angry, both at him and herself. "You know about my father?" she hissed.

"Of course. I know about everyone here. It's my job. In fact..."

He transformed again, and was now a snow hare. It wasn't Yin Bei though. This hare looked much more sinister, dressed in a black outfit with a red kerchief. "I bet my dear little sis will appreciate the irony."

"Yang Chao, I presume?" she spat. "How can you so casually mock someone's personal tragedy?"

"Easy, Vipes." He raised the katana overhead. "I caused it." He swung down.

"Viper!" Her friends cried out. She closed her eyes, waiting for the cold steel to sever her head from her body.

What she felt instead was a strong wind and the weight suddenly being lifted off of her. Danzaburo was tossed away and landed right on top of of another group of leaves, screaming as he was lit up by a series of small explosions.

"Master Shifu!" Viper smiled.

But it was not Master Shifu. Standing in front of her protectively, was Master Blazing Rooster.

"Master Rooster?! _You_ saved me from Danzaburo?!"

Rooster looked back at her and raised an eyebrow. "Who the hell is Danzaburo?"

Danzaburo slowly got back up, the Yang Chao disguise having been literally blown off of him. He was trembling, covered in ash and seething with rage. "This. Isn't. OVER!"

Before anyone could react, a violent tremor shook the building. "W-What's happening?!" Viper looked around anxiously.

"It's collapsing!" Rooster shouted.

He had no time to do anything except raise his wings to shield Viper as the ceiling came down.

* * *

"Viper? Viper!"

The snake felt herself being shook awake. The last thing she remembered was the shack collapsing on her. She must've passed out from the shock, but if that were the case...how was she still alive? She didn't even feel very hurt.

She opened her eyes, seeing her concerned master leaning over her. "Master Shifu? What happened to Master Rooster?"

Shifu grimaced and looked to his left. Rooster was standing there, looking quite smug. "He's just mad I found his own student before he did."

"What about the others?" Viper asked quickly, again trying to prevent hostilities.

"They're fine...mostly." Shifu rolled his eyes and gestured over to the two males. Mantis was slowly digging himself out of the black tar while Monkey sat on the grass, carefully pulling caltrops out of his foot and wincing with each one.

Wait...the grass?

Viper reared up in surprise. "Where the heck are we?"

Shifu sighed. It was the most bitter, resentful sigh she had ever heard. "We're exactly where you were before." He pointed up the cliff to the Artisan's Village.

"WHAT?!"

"It's true," Monkey said. "This-ow-is right where the-ow-shack was. All that's left-ow-is a pile of leaves."

"That, and an old blanket," Mantis added, raising a foreleg out of the tar and pointing to a ratty wool blanket lying nearby.

"You mean to tell me that entire shack was-"

"Another of Danzaburo's illusions," Shifu said. "He had the home field advantage the whole time. Once he was defeated, he made the shack 'collapse' and escaped in the confusion."

Viper understood now why her master was so despondent. "...How?" she asked softly. "How are we supposed to catch a guy who can conjure a building out of thin air?"

"Ignoring the fact that you guys _still_ haven't told me who Danzaburo is," Rooster grumbled, "I believe you have a match to get to?"

"That's right!" Viper shot off like an arrow. "Thanks for the help, everyone!"

"I suppose we should get going too," said Rooster. "Don't want to miss my student kicking your student's butt."

"You wish." The two masters raced off after her.

Leaving two more masters behind. "No, it's cool. We'll catch up later," Mantis said dryly. He was promptly struck in the head by a caltrop.

* * *

 _Bei's comment about having an irresponsible snake in her life is a reference to Gishi from Silence of the Hare. You can expect more references to that story whenever Bei is involved, but I'll try to keep them to a minimum (minus the blatant Yang Chao cameo)._

 _The part about Monkey not knowing what a raccoon is was a sort-of reference to my fic Always Together, where I inexplicably had a raccoon character in Ancient China._

 _Believe it or not, I am not at all exaggerating how powerful the mythical Danzaburo was said to be when it comes to illusions and shapeshifting. Yes, creating an entire building is well within his range of abilities. But for the purposes of this story, he was the only tanuki ever capable of that level. Otherwise, the Daimyo might have been a bit too justified fearing them._

 _And here's a fun fact: This entire subplot about rescuing Viper from Danzaburo did not even exist until I wrote Chapter 18 and thought that Viper coming back on her own just wasn't interesting enough. So that whole mess instead got incorporated into her own match. I also decided when writing this chapter that Master Rooster would save Viper because Shifu doing it was too obvious. Neat the stuff you come up with on the spot, huh? :P_


	23. Chapter 22: Ten Limb vs No Limb

_And now we begin! I hope this match isn't really anticlimactic compared to what led up to it._

 _This chapter might be the closest I ever get to an M rating in this story. Don't worry, nothing explicit happens or anything, just...you'll see._

* * *

Chapter 22: Ten Limb vs. No Limb

"Viper!"

Po was the first to see her, and shot up like a firework. The Five soon followed and the snake was soon the center of a group hug. As the three other masters were so much bigger than her, Viper herself could barely be seen from the outside.

"Urk! Thanks, guys. Did I make it?"

Master Bludgeoning Rhino, holding a nearly empty hourglass in his palm, growled a little and crushed it.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Above them, they could see the spectators returning to their seats. Among them were Grandmaster Shifu and Master Blazing Rooster, thankfully in separate spots.

As Viper squirmed her way out of her friends' grip, she found Yin Bei smiling at her. "Glad you could make it. I thought you were gonna leave me hanging for a while there."

Viper grinned. "No way. I wouldn't miss this fight for the world."

"So what happened to you anyway?" asked Po. "Did you see..." he glanced over at Bei,"...You-Know-Who?"

She hissed viciously in response. "Okaaaaay, I guess so."

She coughed. "Sorry, I got carried away there. I'll tell you about it later." Bei looked at her curiously.

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, excellent news! Master Viper has returned and the Trial of Metal is officially back in business SQUAWK!"_

Two rhino guards immediately walked up to escort them to the weapons room. "Well that was abrupt."

"Abrupt?! You wasted an hour of our time already!" Kuai shouted, earning him a smack on the head from Tigress.

"You had better not go easy on me," Bei said warningly.

"Likewise," Viper smiled back.

Everyone watched as the two young women were led behind the curtain.

* * *

"This should be an interesting one," said the Emperor. "And to think, we almost missed it. Good work getting her back, Grandmaster."

Shifu just grumbled a little.

"KICK HER SCALY ASS, YIN BEI!"

The lion blinked. "...Was that Master Rooster?"

Shifu grumbled again.

* * *

They both emerged from the curtain at roughly the same time. Viper was carrying a red parasol with a lotus design and a metal handle. Yin Bei's weapon was more unusual: a round metal shield strapped onto her right arm.

"Wait, so Dun picks a spear and Bei picks a shield?" Po titled his head.

"Can't say this trial hasn't been surprising," said Tigress. "But at least Viper knows how to handle a parasol. She should be able to keep up with whatever Bei throws at her."

 _"Master Viper and Master Silent Hare are ready to square off SQUAWK! Let's just hope the wait was worth it!"_

"A shield, huh? Can't say I was expecting that," Viper said, readying herself.

"I wasn't expecting your weapon either. Don't nunchuks generally work better with two hands?"

"What are you...GAH!" Viper gaped at the pair of wooden nunchuks now dangling from her tail.

 _"Seriously, this again? How can trained masters be this bad at choosing weapons?"_

The audience started muttering in confusion, most of them having clearly seen a parasol before.

"Crap!" Tigress slapped her paw against her face. "We were so worried about getting Viper back, we forgot to warn her about the weapons!"

Viper turned back to Bei and gave a very wide, very fake, smile. "Uh...yeah...I know my way around a pair of chuks'. No problem, heh, heh, heh." _Danzaburo, if I ever get my tail around your neck again, I'm going to tear your head straight off!_

 _"Without further adieu, let Round 3, finally...BEGIN!"_

Viper, still fumbling with her unexpected new weapon, was immediately on the defensive as Yin Bei charged. Anyone who still thought she was meek and timid had clearly never fought her. The snow hare attacked aggressively, chopping at her over and over again with the shield. Viper's slippery body allowed her to dodge around these, but with little room to counter.

Finally, she struck out with the nunchuks, hitting the shield arm and knocking it to the side. She thought she had created an opening until her follow-up attack was instantly blocked by one of Bei's large ears. "Gotcha," she smirked and plowed the shield into her face, knocking the snake back.

 _"Okay, who the heck is this and what have they done with Master Silent Hare? This is NOT a girl I thought I would see smashing someone in the face with a blunt object SQUAWK!_

"YEAH! YOU SMACK THAT NO-LEGGER RIGHT OUT OF HER SKIN, BEI!"

Viper looked up in shock, a bit offended. "Sorry," Bei said, shuffling her feet bashfully. "Master gets like that when he watches me fight."

She shifted right back into battle mode and whipped her right arm forward, throwing her shield straight at Viper. The snake gasped and arched her body to the side, letting the weapon fly past her. What she didn't see was the shield bounce off of the metal wall and fly back, hitting her in the back of the head and then returning to Bei's waiting paw.

 _"When is a shield not a shield? When it's anything but, apparently!"_

* * *

"Okay, this could certainly be going better," Tigress deadpanned. "When I said 'whatever Bei throws at her', I didn't mean literally."

"Who knew the little squirt had it in her?" Kuai asked, almost sounding impressed.

"I bet Viper did," said Crane. "So she's gotta have some strategy for fighting back, right? Because this is looking pretty bad so far."

"It gets worse." Po suddenly looked very nervous. "See, I just remembered what made Master Swift Hare so famous. He was renowned as a master of perception. They say that he could take one look at his opponents and know how to disable them with a single strike."

Crane and Tigress both stared at him, horrified.

"...Er, I'm sure it's just a legend, though."

* * *

It wasn't.

Swinging her nunchucks upward, Viper aimed for the left of Bei's head. She lowered an ear to block it, but this was exactly what she was expecting. Viper shifted away at the last second to duck under the shield and swing at her opposite side.

This time she wasn't expecting to be blocked, let alone countered, and she took an ear to the chin as hard as any fist. _Her perceptive abilities are incredible. I'm never going to win with like this._

Bei narrowed her eyes and pulled back her shield again.

 _Well if perception is the key..._

Viper took a quick glance behind her and steeled herself. As the shield came flying at her, she quickly tossed the other end of the nunchuks into her mouth. Stretching herself out, she held the chain of the weapon in front of her. The shield hit the chain and bounced safely back to Bei, but Viper had other plans. Using the shield's momentum as a boost, she leapt backwards and was flung straight into the audience.

A few of the spectators shrieked and backed away, as would most people who had a snake tossed at them. But Viper slithered quickly and quietly between them, disappearing into the crowd.

 _"Master Viper has taken the fight right to the spectators, which, while not against the rules, is really inconsiderate SQUAWK! Master Viper, I beg you, just please don't disappear on us again!"_

"FOUL! FOUL! COME ON, YOU CAN'T ALLOW THAT BULLCRAP!"

"V-Viper?" Yin Bei looked around frantically for her friend. She was able to track her movements for a few seconds using the spectators' reactions, until she noticed that the entire arena was now staring at her. "Viper, w-where did you g-go?" There must have been hundreds of people, surrounding her on all sides, and now she was alone.

 _"Master Silent Hare, are you alright? I can't help but notice that you seem a bit-"_

She let out a loud, piercing shriek.

 _"...unwell."_

* * *

"What's wrong with her?" Po asked worriedly. "It's like someone just flipped a lever and turned her into the meek Bei again."

"Her social anxiety is worse than I thought," Tigress said. "It looks like she's only been able to keep it together in there because she was distracted by the fight."

"So Viper basically turned her anxiety against her? Ouch, that's a little harsh."

"Maybe, but it was the only way she could break her perception." She sighed. "That parasol sure would've been useful right about now..."

"So where do you think Viper's at?" asked Crane. "She better not stay hidden for too long, or they'll disqualify her for real this time."

"I wouldn't worry about that," Po smiled. "She's just using the old 'snake in the grass' maneuver. She'll make her move any moment now, and it'll be awesome!"

* * *

And awesome it was. Yin Bei, frozen on the spot and shivering uncontrollably, failed to notice Viper when she finally slithered out of the stands...directly behind her.

"BEI, BEHIND YOU!"

Too late. By the time Bei registered her master's words, Viper had already swung her nunchuks. Bei reflexively held out her shield, which just resulted in the chain hitting it, then wrapping around and striking her hard in the funny bone. While Bei cried out in pain, Viper quickly climbed up her back and wrapped herself tightly around her ears. This made Bei freeze up again, allowing Viper to gain enough momentum to lift the hare up and slam her straight into the ground.

 _"Wow! For a pair of sweet, innocent girls, these two are VICIOUS in a fight! Word of advice to all prospective bachelors out there: do what she says!"_

"Urrggh..." Bei opened her eyes weakly. Talk about a headache. She was vaguely aware of Viper standing behind her and her anxiety went away. She was back in the game. "Glad to see you're not going easy on me."

"Likewise."

"BOOOOOOOOO! CHEAP SHOT! CHEAP SHOT! BUT I BET CHEAP IS THE BEST YOU CAN GET, **OR** CHARGE!"

Viper, who had gotten _somewhat_ used to Rooster's jeers by now, dropped her jaw in utter shock as one eye twitched violently. "Did he just call me a _whore?!_ "

Bei blushed. "Y-Yeah...yeah he did. Sorry."

"WHY DON'T YOU GO UNHINGE YOUR JAW AROUND SOME GUY'S-"

Viper snapped herself out of her shock and thankfully didn't hear the rest of that. She went to attack again, only to find that she could no longer move. "W-What?"

"Sorry about that too," Bei smiled. "But you shouldn't have let your guard down."

Bei stood back up, carrying Viper with her. The snake was wrapped up tightly in her ears, one around her neck and the other near her tail, trapping her in the same manner Danzaburo had before. Bei lowered the snake so she was in front of her, smiling deviously. "And you should _never_ stand next to a Ten Limb master's ears."

* * *

"What did we miss?"

The Emperor's bodyguards raised their weapons as two people rushed at them, but lowered them again once they saw it was only Monkey and Mantis. The former had a noticeable limp while the latter was almost entirely coated in black. This didn't seem to slow them in the slightest as they hopped back into their seats.

The lion raised an eyebrow. "What did _I_ miss?"

"We can discuss that later, Your Highness," Shifu said quickly. "Right now, I believe my students would be interested in observing this match."

"I believe 'interested' is putting it mildly." He watched the two masters lean forward in their chairs like excited children.

"Twenty yuan Viper gets out of this," Mantis wagered.

"You're on!"

* * *

Viper managed to hang on to her nunchuks and she raised the weapon pitifully to attack. "Uh uh uh, can't let ya do that." The hare's left ear tightened painfully, making her yelp and drop them. Her ears stretched the snake out taut and she dropped to the ground, lifting herself up on her tiny paws and raising her much less tiny feet into the air.

Viper only just realized what she was in for when Bei started raining rapid-fire kicks into her unprotected body.

"THAT'S RIGHT BEI, TEAR HER APART! TEAR HER APART! TEAR HER APART!"

"...He...means...figuratively...right?" Viper struggled to ask between getting pummeled.

Bei paused for a moment. "...No, I don't think so. Sorry. Again." She resumed kicking her.

 _"This is like watching the world's most violent massage SQUAWK! If Master Viper doesn't get out of that soon, she's going to have one bad case of pink belly in the morning!_

Viper strained and struggled to get free, but to no avail. "No offense, but I've restrained much stronger creatures than you, Viper. You're not getting out of there, so I suggest you surrender."

"...No...no way..." Even if Yin Bei was her friend, she wasn't going to just roll over and say uncle to her.

"Alright, if that's the way you want it..." Viper screamed as her beating got even more intense. She really needed to do something soon or she was going to pass out from the pain. But what? Bei's ears were too strong to break out of, and she couldn't concentrate enough to try to squirm her way out when she was constantly getting beat on like this.

 _"I gotta say, these have to be the least lucky rabbit's feet I've ever seen! Unless we're talking lucky for HER, in which case-"_

"GIVE IT UP ALREADY, YOU COLD-BLOODED HARLOT!"

 _"E-E-Excuse me, I'M the commentator here_ _SQUAWK!"_

"GO SQUAWK UP A RIVER AND DROWN IN IT!"

Chaonao looked like he was about to cry. _"...Why do you have to be so mean?"_

Viper screamed again and coughed up some blood onto the arena floor. Bei urged her to give up again, which she ignored. _Why,_ she had no freaking clue. She couldn't win now. Not when the only parts of her she could even move freely were her head and the tip of her tail, and she failed to see how either would help her.

Unless...what if Bei's ears weren't as strong as she thought? Yes, they had already blocked several of her attacks, but come to think of it, she had only ever done so using the outer part. What about the inner skin? It was worth a shot at least. Closing her eyes tightly, Viper reared back the tip of her tail and whipped it up into the underside of Bei's left ear. The hare winced a little, but didn't loosen her grip.

So that was that then. Her theory was correct. Too bad she couldn't get the leverage to properly act on it. She still had her head, but what could she possibly do...with...

 _No! I can't! Not to a friend!_

 _But then...I did promise not to go easy on her._

With no other choice, Viper opened her mouth wide and clamped down on Bei's right ear.

"AAAGH!" Bei dropped her instantly and stumbled back, clutching her wounded ear.

* * *

"Holy crap, did she just _bite_ her?" Monkey asked in disbelief.

"I can't remember the last time I've seen Viper bite _anyone_ ," Mantis said, equally shocked. "By the way, you owe me twenty yuan."

The Emperor frowned in concern. "Is she going to be okay? Viper is venomous, isn't she?"

"She is, but I wouldn't worry about that," Shifu reassured him. "Viper was born without fangs. She's learned not to rely on them. When they finally grew in years later, she made an effort to use that power responsibly. Yin Bei is in no danger." He smiled. "Except of losing, that is."

* * *

"W-What did you...?" Bei stared at the tiny holes in her ear, growing more fearful by the second.

Viper panted, trying to ignore the increasing soreness in her body. Those kicks had really done a number on her. "Don't worry...I only wanted to make you release me. I made sure not to inject you with enough venom to cause serious damage."

Bei relaxed and raised her ears above her head again. Her right ear did not stay there. It twitched uncontrollably a few times, then seized up and fell limp to the floor. "I _did_ however, give you enough to completely paralyze that ear. I have a feeling that'll mess up your fighting style quite a bit." She grinned, showing off her full set of fangs.

"HEY, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE JEALOUS OF LIMBS DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN JUST TAKE ONE OF HERS!"

Bei tried a few times to move her ear, but it wouldn't budge. The hare bit her lip, knowing that this battle had just become a lot harder for her.

 _"...Okay, I'm better now! It looks like it's all coming down to the wire, folks! Master Viper has an opening, but she also has severe bruising! Not a good position to be in when you move around on your stomach_ SQUAWK _! As for Master Silent Hare, she's going to have to learn Nine Limb style pretty quick if she still wants a chance!_

Viper charged in first, dodging Bei's shield and swinging her nunchuk at the hare's right side. Bei saw the attack coming, but no longer had the means to defend against it and took the blow. Staggering back, she countered by sweeping her good ear on the ground. When Viper jumped the ear, Bei leapt up after her, grabbing the sides of the snake's head and unleashing multiple knee strikes into her chin. Viper threw out her nunchuks, letting the chain wrap itself around Bei's left ear and whipping her into the ground. As Viper landed, Bei jumped up again, doing a somersault in midair, and stomping down hard on the snake's backside. Viper smacked her in the face with her tail, knocking her off again.

Both girls were breathing heavily now, though Viper looked worse for wear. Between this and the incident with Danzaburo, she was exhausted. If this came down to a straight-up brawl between her and Bei, she was pretty sure she would lose. She needed to end this now.

As Bei reared back and threw her shield again, Viper shot forward underneath it, gritting her teeth at the pain this caused to her wounded underbelly. She made another swing at Bei, who jumped back and caught the shield in her left ear. As Viper closed in, she gave a shout and swung it at her in a wide arc upwards. When she finished the move, Viper was nowhere in sight.

"Not again..." Bei anxiously looked around for the snake. She knew she shouldn't have taken her eyes off her. This handicap was making her desperate. With her remaining ear, she listened closely for any sign of her opponent.

*CLANG*

She jumped in surprise and whirled around towards the sudden noise. Lying on the ground, several feet away, were Viper's nunchuks...but no Viper.

 _"Hey, the air belongs to the birds! You guys need to stop getting in my space SQUAWK!"_

"What the-ahhh!" Bei looked up just in time to see to see Viper descending on her. In a matter of seconds, the snake wrapped herself around Bei's ears and arms, pinning them to her sides, then wrapped again around her neck.

"You're not...the only one...who can restrain people," Viper grunted. She tightened her grip, and Bei gasped as she was choked.

 _"Master Viper has Master Silent Hare in a chokehold, but the strain seems to be taking a lot out of her SQUAWK! It looks like this is going to come down to a battle of endurance!"_

"COME ON BEI, DON'T YOU DARE LOSE TO HER!"

 _"...in more ways than one..."_

* * *

"Oh man, this is getting intense!"

"Po, if you're really worried, then get that goofy grin off your face," Tigress scolded.

He did so. "Sorry, I just get really into these fights sometimes and forget that my actual friends are out there."

"Do you think Viper can really do this?" Crane asked. "She's in pretty bad shape."

"What an idiot," Kuai said disparagingly. "If she wants to win so badly, all she has to do is bite that bunny again and paralyze the rest of her."

"And Bei could have easily knocked her out when she had her in a similar position before." Tigress glared at him. "They're trying to test their abilities against each other, which doesn't mean winning at any cost. Some of us have this thing called 'honor', you know."

"So they're _both_ idiots. Yeah, I know."

Po and Crane had to physically restrain Tigress from tackling him.

* * *

"Okay...fifty yuan Viper goes down."

"Why are you betting _against_ Viper?" Monkey asked.

"Why are you betting _at all?_ " Shifu appeared behind the duo and hit them both over the head with his staff. "This is a kung fu tournament, not some gambling ring!"

 _"Things are really getting heated now! Who drops first: the snake or the hare? Place your bets now, folks SQUAWK!"_

"Hmph."

"You don't need to take it so seriously, Grandmaster," said the Emperor. "Yes, that is your student down there, but it's not as if she is in mortal danger anymore. She is merely sparring with a friend, and that's all you should see it as."

"Perhaps you are right," Shifu admitted. "As Master Oogway would say, the leaves will fall as nature wills it."

"STOP WITH THE FANCY TALK! JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN!"

"...It appears Master Rooster has better hearing than I expected. And even worse manners."

* * *

Bei struggled against Viper's grip, already weakened and desperately wishing she had the use of both ears right now as she slowly lost consciousness. Viper struggled just as hard, knowing that choking out the hare was her last shot at victory. The spectators were quiet with anticipation as the two battled each other for what seemed like an eternity.

But it couldn't last forever, and about three minutes after the stalemate began, one of them flopped to the ground, unconscious.

 _"It's over! The match is over! The winner is…Master Silent Hare!"_

Yin Bei gasped for air, down on her knees and clutching her throat. The crowd cheered wildly for her, but she barely even noticed. Looking behind her, she saw Viper passed out on the floor. She fought hard, but in the end, she overtaxed herself and couldn't handle the strain anymore. Still…she couldn't help but feel that she had not faced the serpent at her best. She didn't hold back, but at the same time, she seemed a bit weaker than usual before they even began. And what was the deal with the nunchuks? Despite what Viper said, those were definitely _not_ her typical choice of weapon.

The medics soon arrived with a stretcher and Bei set the issue aside for now. She hefted the snake up over her shoulders and carried her over.

* * *

The other competitors watched as Viper was taken away. "There goes another Jade Palace representative," Crane sighed.

"What a shame, there sure aren't enough of _those_ left." Kuai rolled his eyes.

Yin Bei made her way back and hopped up onto her seat. "Hey, congrats Bei!" Po reached over and slapped her on the shoulder, nearly bowling her over.

"Er...thanks. So y-you're not mad that I beat Viper?"

"Of course not. Tigress whups my butt all the time, but we're still friends." Tigress smirked in approval.

"I guess I have nothing to worry about then." Bei leaned back in her seat with a contented smile on her face.

 _Good fight, Viper. Let's have a rematch sometime, okay?_

* * *

"Uh…"

"If you're looking for the fifty yuan, I never accepted your wager."

"No, it's not that. Just...uh..."

"...Yeah, that sums up the match pretty well. At least now we have some more company in the loser section."

Shifu glared at them disapprovingly. "It makes you wonder," the Emperor said, catching his attention. "Do you think Master Viper might have won had she been fully prepared?"

"Perhaps, perhaps not. I'll guess we'll never know for sure." He clenched his staff angrily. "And all because of that damn tanuki. Sabotaging my students like this is unforgivable."

"You never did tell me what exactly happened when you rescued Master Viper. Was it really so strenuous?"

"He almost killed her."

His eyes widened. "You mean _personally?"_

"Yes. He must have slipped out of the arena during the intermission. That's the only way he could've showed up there."

The lion was silent for a long time. "Grandmaster...I'm afraid that's impossible."

"Excuse me?"

"Master Rhino forbid any of the competitors from leaving during the intermission. I watched them all from this spot the whole time. Not one of them left the arena."

Shifu looked down. "...You're right. It is impossible then. Unless of course..."

...he isn't one of the competitors."

They looked at each other, and frowned in unison.

* * *

 _And another one bites the dust! A big thanks to Mind Jack for helping me write this, as this was definitely one of the harder fights for me to do. Master Rooster's little "quirk" was also provided by him, and boy did that make things even more fun. Thanks again._

 _Viper's venom is an aspect of her character that I don't feel is explored enough. Yes, her backstory is that she was born without fangs, but she clearly has them now, and Po even said that one of her weapons is venom. My own little headcanon is that she's so used to not having venom that she forgets it's even an option, which is why she didn't just use it on Danzaburo. Can't make things too easy now._


	24. Chapter 23: The Blind and the Boastful

_Glad everyone's still hanging on because we sure aren't done just yet. Moving right along to the penultimate match. This is a somewhat short chapter, but only because there's so much I have planned for the next one._

* * *

Chapter 23: The Blind and the Boastful

"You okay?" Crane asked.

Yin Bei rubbed her right ear. "Y-Yeah...I think the venom's just about worn off."

"Good. Then you'll be fine for the next...Tigress, are _you_ okay?"

The feline growled at the arena, her claws flexing in and out of her fingers spasmodically. "I'm fine. Just a bit on-edge."

"Ah, I get it," Po said, winking. "It's your warrior instinct coming out. You crave the thrill of battle! You live for the bloodlust!" She stared at him. "...I mean you really want to fight. That's what I was getting at."

She sighed. "Yes Po, you're right. I'm sick and tired of waiting around. I just want to get in there already."

"Don't worry about it. There's only two rounds left. You've got like a 50/50 shot of going up next."

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Round 4! The competitors chosen for this match are...Master Spotted Blur vs. Master Fearless Shadow SQUAWK!"_

If looks could kill, Po would have dropped dead, then spontaneously combusted, his ashes blown to the four winds and his soul banished to the darkest depths of the Underworld. "Heh heh...oops."

"Ugh, finally!" Kuai stretched himself out, glancing over at a stunned Reidak. "I warned ya about being presumptuous. Looks like _I'll_ be the one kicking your ass."

The tiger breathed deeply. "Nyet. No one is going to be 'kicking my ass' today. Least of all you."

Though disappointed, Tigress smiled and gave him a friendly punch in the shoulder. "Good luck out there."

"I don't need luck for this young punk."

"Father!"

Several audience members yelled out and were forcibly shoved aside, making room for three other tigers at the edge of the stands. There were two boys and a girl. One of the males had Reidak's distinctly dark red fur, as well as a tuft of fur that looked like the beginnings of a "beard". The other had a lighter shade of orange fur and a goatee, while the female looked similar to Tigress and also had orange fur.

Tigress's jaw dropped. "Reidak...explain."

"These would be my children."

"You have _children?!"_

"...Did I not mention that?" Hearing no response, he coughed awkwardly. "I suppose I should introduce you then. These are my sons, Caesar and Xavier, and my lovely daughter Tianna." They all politely greeted Tigress, who still looked completely mortified.

"Hate to interrupt family fun time, but some of us have a match to get to." Kuai pointed to the rhinos, standing impatiently next to him. "But if you want to save yourself the trouble and give up now, I'm cool with that."

"Not a chance." Reidak lifted himself out of his seat. "Not with my family watching me.

"Punch him in the kidney for me, Daddy!" Tianna exclaimed.

"Of course, sweetie." Reidak leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, exchanged fist-bumps with his sons, and headed out. Tigress watched all of this, trying to regain her composure.

Po stared blankly. "Huh...so _that_ happened."

"I guess this puts a hamper on your plans for him, huh?" Crane teased, nudging Tigress with a wing.

"I'm glad you find this so funny, since this means _you're_ the one I'll be fighting next."

Realization slowly dawned on the bird and his beak widened in horror. He suddenly found himself wishing he had never found that egg after all.

* * *

"Hurry up! We're going to miss the rest of the trial!"

"Your sympathy is astounding, Mei Ling."

"Oh, suck it up! I know you're tougher than that." The Asian golden cat sat herself back in her seat, now joined by a bandaged De Lu. "Look, I'm sorry for rushing out here, but after I saw Dun get taken in to the hospital, I knew I had to be here to see my other student in action."

"And the reason you dragged me along?"

"Because I wanted to show off, silly," she grinned. "Now pay attention. It looks like we're just in time."

* * *

 _"Our fierce felines are raring to go! This looks to be a very testosterone-fueled match we've got here SQUAWK!"_

On one side of the arena stood Reidak, tying a black bandanna over his empty eye sockets and wielding a pair of thick billy clubs. On the other end was Kuai...wielding absolutely nothing.

"Wow, he wasn't kidding," said Crane. "I knew the guy was a braggart, but not to _this_ level."

"Interesting choice of weapon," Tigress noted, watching Reidak get ready. "Though I do wonder what ever happened to his crossbow."

"What crossbow?" asked Po.

"Yeah, I don't remember him having a crossbow," Crane added.

"Me neither," said Caesar, the red tiger.

"...Nevermind."

* * *

"What, are you trying to get a job as a night guard?" Kuai taunted. "Sorry, but I'm pretty sure you need eyes for that."

"Even without eyes, I can see better than you. Is that what you need those ridiculous goggles for?

"What?" He reached up and touched the eye-wear reflexively. "I never told you about these. How the hell did you-?"

 _"Let Round 4...BEGIN!"_

Reidak attacked in an instant, nailing Kuai across the face with a club. The cheetah took the blow hard, spinning in the air and landing face-down on the ground. For several seconds, Kuai just lied there, unmoving.

 _"...Certainly the most concise match we've had thus far. The winner is-"_

"Hey! HEY! I am _not_ done yet!" Kuai got back to his feet, glaring up at the parrot. "The guy just caught me off-guard, that's all!"

"Kung fu masters are typically more observant than that," Reidak pointed out.

"I'm being lectured on observational skills by the blind guy?! Oh, that is IT!"

Kuai threw a kick that Reidak dodged under, striking him in the side with a club. He countered with a punch, which Reidak deflected with a club and brought down on his arm. As he yelled in pain, the tiger grabbed him by the face and threw him over his shoulder, into the floor. Before Reidak could attempt a stomp, Kuai rolled out from under him and dashed away, gaining some distance from his opponent.

Growling softly, he lowered his goggles down in front of his eyes. "You think you're so observant? Then take a look at this!"

* * *

"Show of paws, who saw this coming like ten li away?" Po raised his paw.

"Yes, this is about how I was expecting this match to go," Tigress remarked, though she didn't raise her paw. "It looks like Kuai's already whipping out Fleetfoot. Now it's time to see how impressive of a technique it really is."

"From what I heard, it sounds pretty cool. You build up all your chi and then you just go ZOOOOOOOOM WHOOOOOOOSH!" Po exclaimed, with appropriate arm gestures.

"Not as cool as Father's moves," Xavier said matter-of-factly.

"It's not a contest," Tigress argued.

"Yes it is."

"Okay _yes_ , it's a contest. But it's a contest of who has the greater kung fu skill, not who has the flashiest moves."

"Wait, there's a difference?" asked Po.

* * *

Kuai disappeared in a blur and suddenly reappeared in front of Reidak, landing a flying kick to his chest. The tiger skidded back several feet and hit the opposing wall.

 _"Those poor walls! Good thing they're all made of metal or this entire place probably would've collapsed by now, killing everyone insi-okay, that's not funny. But in other news, Master Spotted Blur finally looks somewhat competent SQUAWK!"_

"How did you like _that?!_ " Kuai boasted.

Reidak casually dusted himself off. "Meh. I've seen it before. Figuratively speaking of course."

The cheetah snarled.

"Guess Kuai doesn't like people bragging to him," Crane noted. "How's that for irony?"

After a moment, Kuai calmed himself. "Fine. I don't care what you think of it. If you know what's coming, then you know just how screwed you are!" He disappeared again.

Reidak lowered his weapons and took a deep breath. For a moment, he was as still as a statue. But then, he calmly lifted his left arm upward, clenching his fist...

...and let Kuai run right into it.

 _"Ouch! Here's a science lesson for all of you: An object in motion tends to stay in motion until it gets punched in the face SQUAWK! That inertia is gonna leave a mark!_

"AHHHH!" Kuai scrambled away, clutching his muzzle. "Damn it, you could've broken my nose!"

"I didn't? Pity."

* * *

"Okaaaaaay, how'd he do that?" Po asked.

"I'm curious too," said Crane.

Tigress noticed them both staring at her. "Why are you asking _me?!"_

"Well, I just thought since you and him are, you know..." Po said nervously.

"Ugh! That's it, I am nipping this in the bud right now. The two of us have _nothing_ going on outside of a competitive rivalry. I know that he has enhanced senses to make up for his lack of eyesight, but that's about it."

"I can explain," Caesar volunteered. "Even though Father is blind, he can still 'see' his opponents through his other senses, from the sounds they make, their scent, etc. In many cases, this form of sight is even better than the standard kind. In short, Kuai may have been invisible to you, but to Reidak, he was clear as day."

"Wow, you sure know a lot about this," said Po, impressed.

"Of course I do." Caesar smiled, his grin reaching up to his crimson red eyes. "It's the same way for me."

* * *

Kuai wiped a bit of blood from his nose and threw it to the side. "Alright, alright. Things are getting interesting now."

He disappeared and reappeared on Reidak's left. Reidak blocked his punch with a club and prepared to counter when Kuai vanished again, this time reappearing on his right. When Reidak blocked him again, he reappeared over his head and did a somersault in mid-air, landing a drop kick to the tiger's skull that slammed his face into the ground.

 _"Don't expect much of a play-by-play on this match, folks! I'm getting dizzy just watching the guy!"_

"So you can track my movements, huh?" Kuai mocked. "Too bad that doesn't mean squat if you're not fast enough to react on time!"

Reidak threw out one of his clubs, tripping the cheetah up and sending him to the ground. "You're not very quick on the uptake yourself. Guess it's only your body that's fast."

Kuai groaned as he got back up. If he was losing steam, it was hard to tell by the look on his face. His expression was more steamed than ever.

* * *

"This could be bad," said Mei Ling nervously.

"Indeed," De Lu nodded. "With all due respect, your student seems to be getting his little spotted butt handed to him. I'm not sure how much I favor his chances either.

"That's not what I'm worried about. It's just that Kuai tends to get a bit...aggressive...when he fights."

"Aggressive? You mean the Kuai we've seen so far is the sweet, cuddly one?" He shook his head. "How on earth did you ever end up training that lunatic in the first place?"

"I was looking for potential students and he was the only one with any real talent. Let me tell you, the quality of Lee Da applicants really went downhill after you and Crane left."

"You're avoiding the question," he said knowingly.

She looked away, sighing regretfully. "I know. It's just...I was so desperate to have my own student. Crane went off to join the Jade Palace, you went off to enlist in the Imperial Army, and me...I was stuck at the academy. Being a master at Lee Da isn't that impressive when you're friends with one of the Furious Five and someone out fighting for his country every day. I didn't want to be the only one of us who couldn't make something out of her life. So I got desperate. I picked the first student who had the level of skill I wanted, even though I could tell from the beginning that he was, well..."

"A jackass," De Lu finished.

"To put it nicely. I tried to change him, really I did, but I only got him to be subservient to me. He loses any semblance of politeness whenever I'm not with him. Dun was able to reign him in too, and since he isn't down there either, his temperament can only get worse. Especially now that he's been pushed this far."

"So this kind of thing has happened before?"

"Yeah. He's really not good at accepting defeat, which in hindsight, should've been another red flag. That's what I'm worried about."

"That he won't be able to accept losing? Surely, you can keep him from doing anything rash. You said it's happened before."

"You don't understand," she said grimly. "What I meant is only that he's been pushed to this point before. He's not done yet. Far from it."

"Are you sure about that? From what I've seen so far-"

She grabbed him by the muzzle, looking him straight in the eye. " _So far_ , you haven't seen half of what Fleetfoot can do. I don't know exactly how many tricks he has left up his sleeve, but I will tell you one thing. Since he invented that technique, Kuai has never lost a fight. Not even once."

"...What?"

Mei Ling looked back down at the arena, at her prized student. Kuai's fury had subsided by now, replaced with something she knew from experience to be so much worse: Calm, absolute confidence.

"And I don't think he intends to change that any time soon."

* * *

 _Yes, I know that everyone and their grandmother was expecting Reidak to fight Tigress. Sorry, I'm not so predictable. I mean, I had a whole story named after that._

 _And yes, I know I also said no more OC's. Ones that relate to already existing OC's don't count. These particular ones won't be very prevalent afer this match, for the sole reason of not wanting too many characters hanging around at once._

 _Crossbow? Reidak never had a crossbow. I have no idea what you're talking about._

 _I should also bring up the fact that Reidak (the author) has a Deviantart profile (_ _ReidakVizsla)_ _where he has, by request, done a sketch of Kuai. Ironically, he was unaware that his character would be going up against said cheetah. These things just work out like that sometimes. :)_


	25. Chapter 24: Cat Fight

_The conclusion of Round 4. Only one more to go._

* * *

Chapter 24: Cat Fight

"Haha, go Dad!" Xavier cheered.

"You can beat him!" yelled Caesar.

"Shove those goggles where the sun don't shine!" Tianna added.

 _"This is quickly turning into a real battle of attrition SQUAWK! Both masters have strutted their stuff, but now we'll see who has enough! Hey, was that a rhyme? I wasn't even trying for that! Man, I'm good at this job!"_

"Strutted my stuff?" Kuai asked, grinning unpleasantly. "Oh, please. You think that's all I've got?"

Reidak frowned, unimpressed. "Are you saying there's more to this Fleetfoot of yours?"

"You know it! Let's see how confident you are after _this_ move!"

He vanished once more and Reidak rolled his nonexistent eyes. "You sure seem like a one-trick pony to me."

But this time was different. The spectators watched as Kuai rapidly blinked in and out of sight, appearing all over the arena.

 _"Ugh, stop it already! You're going to give me a migraine!"_

Reidak watched him as well, in his own way, observing Kuai's movements from the vibrations running through the metallic floor. He readied himself for another attack, and was perplexed when it didn't come. Kuai was indeed appearing all over the place, but seemingly without purpose, as he wasn't getting anywhere close enough to attack. He soon realized however, that there _was_ a pattern to his movements. The cheetah was, in fact, running in complete circles.

It was soon after he made this observation that the pattern abruptly changed and Kuai ran straight for him. Unfortunately, his opponent had been right about one thing: There was no way he would be able to avoid such fast attacks. He could only block. Raising his clubs to form a shield, Reidak braced himself.

It wasn't enough. The kick that Kuai threw broke straight through his block and nailed Reidak in the chin. The tiger was thrown violently into the stands, and several spectators had to scramble out of the way as he crashed down.

 _"Guys, I appreciate the audience interaction in this trail, but can we tone it down a bit? Seriously, if we get sued, I swear I'll somehow make you pay the damages SQUAWK!"_

Kuai finally skidded to a stop, literally creating a streak on the ground as he did so. His smirk was even more insufferable than usual.

* * *

"How did he do that?" asked De Lu. "That kick didn't look any stronger than the ones the tiger already blocked."

"But it was," Mei Ling confirmed. "For once, all that running around wasn't just Kuai showing off. He was building up momentum, so that when he finally struck, the kinetic energy made his attack several times stronger."

"Hmmm, impressive. To be honest, that's a lot more foresight than I thought that cat had."

"I can see why you'd think that. Kuai's regular kung fu skills are just barely above average. But that technique he's invented...there's no doubt he has mastered it completely."

"In other words, it's a crutch," De Lu said disapprovingly. "Aren't kung fu masters supposed to _not_ rely on one technique?"

"Yes, yes, I know!" Mei Ling yelled, frustrated with herself more than him. "I tried telling him that, but he doesn't care! He spends all his time just trying to improve upon Fleetfoot. He's never lost using it, so he has no motivation to build up his other skills."

"So basically, he's a sub-par master who just happened to stumble upon a real game-breaker of a technique. Hmph. Someone _really_ needs to knock him down a peg."

"As much as I'd like to see one of my students win the tournament, I have to agree," she sighed. "Let's just see if this Reidak is the one to do it."

* * *

"Urrggh...that guy can really hurt when he wants to..." Reidak lifted himself up and jumped back down to the arena floor. _That_ attack was not one he could just shrug off, and he showed it with the way he was now panting.

"Aww, is the little kitty feeling under the weather?" Kuai asked in mock sympathy. "Then it's time to get some rest!"

Kuai leapt above Reidak and came down on him with another kick. Reidak managed to block this one, but the kicks just kept on coming. Eventually, Kuai's legs both turned into blurs, but they continued hammering on him. Unable to block all of these lightning-fast kicks, Reidak took several more blows to the chest.

 _"Talk about a comeback! Right when Master Spotted Blur looked out of the running, he quickly turns things around SQUAWK! VERY quickly, I might add! ...Get it?...Because he's fast? Hmm, I think I lost my edge."_

Reidak clutched his chest as Kuai gracefully leapt back to where he had been before. Yes, trying to play defense was no longer a viable strategy. Kuai had just proved himself capable of getting through anything he could put up. But then, attacking him wouldn't do much good either at the speed that he could dodge.

It was time for something new.

* * *

"Do you think Daddy will be alright?" asked Tianna, whose peppiness had drained quite a bit after that last exchange.

"Of course he will," Caesar nearly scolded. "You really think this govniuk can beat Father?" Tianna said nothing, but she didn't look reassured. For that matter, neither did the other tigress on the sidelines.

Po and Crane watched Tigress as she stared at Reidak apprehensively. They would've normally taken this opportunity to tease her again, but something told them that this would be a very bad idea right now. Even Lao Pi decided to keep his mouth shut.

 _"Don't you dare lose to this creep, Reidak. We still have a score to settle."_

* * *

"What are you waiting for, Kuai? If you're such a big shot, then come at me," Reidak taunted.

Kuai growled and vanished.

"What is he doing?" Tigress asked, mostly to herself. "Hasn't he figured out that he can't win like this?"

It shocked everyone when Reidak ducked to the left and avoided Kuai's punch completely. The spotted cat had barely the time to gape before a club struck him in the gut.

"Urk! What the-"

"What's the matter, Kuai? Tiger got your tongue?"

"Shut up!"

Reidak ducked under a kick, then grabbed Kuai's leg and threw him across the room.

 _"I'm not entirely sure what's going on here folks, but it seems to me that Fearless Shadow has literally just decided to stop getting hit! Probably a good decision on his part SQUAWK!"_

"This is impossible..." Kuai muttered as he stood back up. "How can you match my speed?!"

Reidak shrugged, as if he had no idea himself. "Well what do you know? Guess you're not as fast as you thought."

* * *

"How is he doing that? He can't seriously be that fast, right?" asked a flustered Crane.

"Why didn't you tell us your Dad could do super speed too?" Po pointed an accusing finger at Reidak's children.

"He can't," Tigress answered, without even looking at him. "What he's doing is actually very simple. Unable to keep up with Kuai's movements, Reidak is taking advantage of his ego. Kuai has shown several ways of getting through Reidak's defense, but when he gets riled up, he throws caution to the wind and attacks immediately. When you know exactly how your opponent is going to attack, then you can dodge it by simply moving out of the way ahead of time. But the dodge and the attack come so close to each other that it makes Reidak look faster than he actually is. His enhanced senses probably help with that, but mostly it's just Kuai being an idiot."

Tigress was subjected to uncomfortable stares once again.

"...I was just about to say that," Caesar spoke, a bit dumbfounded.

"What? I'm just paying attention. It doesn't mean anything!"

* * *

"It must be embarrassing to get outpaced like this, Kuai. So much for being the fastest kung fu master ever."

What was embarrassing was how easily this still worked. Reidak threw his knee up in the approximate location where he expected Kuai to appear and, sure enough, caught him under the chin mid-punch.

"You really think you've got me, don't you?" Finally realizing this strategy wasn't working, Kuai backed off and started to build up momentum again, allowing the tiger to refocus his senses. This too he had figured out a countermeasure for. Between all the clanging of metal and the vibrations in the floor, there was a certain rhythm in Kuai's circular movement. This rhythm would remain constant up until the very moment he attacked.

So when that rhythm changed abruptly, Reidak immediately jumped upwards. Kuai sailed past directly below him and crashed into the wall.

 _"I'm not sure what Spotted Blur's biggest enemy is in this match: Fearless Shadow, or the laws of physics!"_

Kuai slowly fell backwards onto the floor, seeing stars. That last impact had left a sizable crack in his goggles.

Reidak looked down on him, in every sense of the term. He pointed one of his clubs at him in a threatening gesture. "Your technique is impressive, but it is wasted on a fool like you. Give up."

Kuai slowly rose back up again, having to use the wall of the arena for support. "How...dare you...! I...I won't lose to y-AGGH!" His muscles trembling in rage and fatigue, Kuai slipped and fell back down again. But as he did, his unsheathed claws raked hard against the wall, producing a loud, ear-splitting screech.

 _"AHH! We get that you're in pain, but you don't have to share it with the rest of us SQUAWK!"_

* * *

"Oh no..." Tigress, who had indeed been paying close attention for a while now, suddenly felt a strong sense of dread.

"AGGGH!" Caesar roared from behind them, covering his ears. His siblings were instantly at his side trying to comfort him.

"What is it? What's wrong?" asked Po worriedly.

"Heightened senses aren't always a strength," Tigress said nervously. "That sound was merely irritating for us, but for Reidak..."

* * *

The tiger was hunched over, biting into his lip from the strain this unexpected stigma had caused him. The flash of pain went by fairly quickly, but unfortunately, had not gone unnoticed.

Before he could fully regain his composure, Kuai had leapt up and planted a flying double-kick to his chest. Reidak landed hard on his back, but quickly rolled back to his feet.

Kuai, who seemed to have gotten his second wind, looked quite proud of himself. "Hahaha, is this a joke?! You call yourself a kung fu master when something as pathetic as loud noises can cripple you?" He cracked his knuckles menacingly. "Oh, I am going to _enjoy_ this. _"_

Kuai shot forward and threw a kick at Reidak's head. He ducked under the attack as the cheetah flew over him and poised himself to counter. But as he landed, Kuai intentionally scraped his foot claws against the metal floor, producing another loud screech. Reidak was disoriented for just a second, but a second was all it took for Kuai to land a punch, then another, and another, his fists quickly turning into blurs as he pummeled him.

 _"It looks like the pendulum has swung in Spotted Blur's direction again! Fearless Shadow is looking to be in rough shape with this recent development!"_

* * *

"Now he's done it," Mei Ling said, watching the tiger anxiously. "When Kuai finds a weakness, he pounces on it in an instant."

"Hardly what I'd call a fair weakness," De Lu said scornfully. "He's basically just taking advantage of a blind man's disability."

"It's all the same to him. All he cares about is winning this tournament, no matter what."

"Why? Why does winning mean so much to him? I know he's a cocky little punk, but that can't be the only reason."

"It's not," she snorted. "But if you're waiting to hear what deeper motivation he has, you're going to be disappointed."

* * *

Reidak staggered back and tried to refocus on his opponent, only to find that he was gone. His senses quickly picked up the cheetah coming at him from behind, but another piercing shriek shattered his concentration and he was rammed hard in the back. If he hadn't had such tough muscles, the blow could have broken his spine. He fell towards the ground, only just catching himself on one knee. Hacking violently, he coughed up some blood onto the floor.

Caesar, in a similar amount of pain, was no longer paying attention. The same could not be said of his siblings.

"Come on Father, you can't let him beat you like this!" Xavier called out.

"You have to win! You promised us you would!" yelled Tianna.

Tigress however, was torn. On the one hand, she most certainly did want Reidak to win. On the other hand, with the way he was getting battered out there, she wasn't sure if continuing to fight would be best for him.

But regardless of how she felt, Reidak continued fighting. It wasn't going any better for him. He made another swing at Kuai that the cheetah easily dodged and countered with an elbow to the side of his head. This time he couldn't keep himself upright and fell to the floor.

"I think maybe it's time _you_ gave up," Kuai said threateningly.

Reidak tore off his bandana, if for no other reason than to give Kuai the most menacing glare ever made without eyes. "Go to hell."

Kuai grinned wickedly. This was clearly the answer he had been hoping for. "You first." He dashed backwards until he was touching the edge of the arena, then rushed at Reidak, bringing his leg back for one final strike.

"Kuai, ENOUGH!" Mei Ling yelled from the stands.

She was too late. Kuai launched his kinetically-charged kick straight into Reidak's right arm. There was a sickening crack, followed by an agonized roar that seemed to shake the whole building.

Reidak shuddered and collapsed, falling into unconsciousness. It was a good thing too, as his arm was visibly broken.

* * *

"DADDY!" Tianna cried. Caesar and Xavier just stared, horrified.

Tigress had a different reaction. "Damn him...!" His fists trembled with barely-controlled rage. "What was _that_ about, Kuai?! You already won!"

The cheetah turned his head towards her, not looking the least bit repentant. "Hey, I gave him the chance to surrender, didn't I?"

The rest of the competitors saw what was happening and moved to restrain Tigress before she did anything brash. Po and Crane held her arms, Yin Bei had her ears around her waist, and Lao Pi had a firm grip on her tail. He only needed one hand of course. "Calm down young lady. If you attack him now, you'll be disqualified. Then you'll never get the chance to beat him. Is that what you want?"

"You should listen to the old fart. He's got a good head on his shoulders." Despite his words, it was obvious that he was still trying to goad her.

It was not going to work. Despite every animal instinct telling her to rip the cheetah apart, she managed to calm herself.

Disappointed, Kuai frowned and turned his head up to where Chaonao was hovering in place. The parrot had been uncharacteristically quiet for some time now. "Hey birdbrain, hurry up and declare me the winner already!"

Startled, Chaonao stiffened, then narrowed his eyes down at the cheetah for a moment, before finally conceding. _"I don't think you all need a recap of what just happened...it speaks for itself. I'm not sure what to say about this, or even how to react, but the show must go on. And so, I must announce that the winner of Round 4 is...Master Spotted Blur."_

No one cheered.

Kuai simply stuffed his paws into his pockets and walked back to the benches, so casually it was if nothing happened. Reidak's children all moved from their spots and the competitors froze, worried that they were about to attack him themselves. However, it seemed that Reidak has instilled his sense of honor into his offspring, as they only shot the cheetah brief glares before moving right past him and to their father's side.

Kuai was about to return to his seat without anything further when Tigress called him out. "You're just trying to hurt me, aren't you?" she asked coldly. "What the hell do you have against me?"

He stopped in his tracks. The feline's smirk disappeared as his expression turned serious. "It's not just you. It's _all_ the masters of the Jade Palace. You ever notice that you guys are the only ones people ever talk about? It's always 'Dragon Warrior' this and 'Furious Five' that. The rest of us might as well not even exist. I work hard too, you know. What makes _you_ so special?"

They were stunned. They had always wondered what Kuai had against them. Now they knew, and the answer was...incredibly anticlimactic.

"...That's it?" asked Crane. " _That's_ the reason you hate us so much? Everything you've done here was just out of petty jealousy?"

"IT IS NOT PETTY!" Kuai stomped the ground, getting right in Crane's face. "You're the worst of them all, bird. Even my own master can't stop talking about how 'great' you are. But when _I'm_ Wu Xing Champion and _you're_ a pile of feathers on the ground, we'll just see how much she still values you." Without another word, he stormed off.

* * *

Mei Ling's head dropped, unable to even _look_ at her own student anymore.

"Do you see now, Mei Ling?" De Lu asked softly. "This is the price of your recklessness."

Mei Ling said nothing, just nodded slowly.

* * *

 _Govniuk_ _\- Shithead (foreign swears are fun)_

 _Kuai is one of those deceptively harmless villains. I intentionally made him out to be a total wimp and the constant butt of the joke throughout the earlier trials (and even in this one) while either not focusing on him (Wood) or handicapping him (Water) to hide how dangerous he really is. One challenge I had in writing Kuai was to delve into his backstory and motives WITHOUT making him the least bit sympathetic. I'm sure you'll let me know if I've succeeded._

 _A quick thank you to author Reidak for helping me out with this fight. Please don't hate me now._

 _Lastly, I don't usually plug my YouTube channel...ever...but since it's relevant, I should point out that I am actually making KFP videos now. So far, that includes co-commentaries on both films and a couple of LOA episodes (on the Berserker & Blunderbuss playlist) and analysis videos on both of the Chinese KFP3 trailers (you know, the good ones). So check them out if you want, and of course I wouldn't mind you taking a quick glance at my other vids as well. :)_


	26. Chapter 25: Clash of Jade

_The final match is upon us! Sorry if the gaps between updates have been getting longer but to be honest, this particular trial is getting harder and harder to write for me. There's only so many times you can reuse the same basic formula before it starts to drag. But there will still be one more chapter to go after this._

* * *

Chapter 25: Clash of Jade

"Is it just me, or are these seats getting wider?" asked Po. Normally, the bear could never fit his entire body on one of these benches, but the absence of De Lu, Dun, Viper, and now Reidak made it possible. Kuai also had a bench to himself, but only because everyone else refused to share it with him.

"I'm sure you know what's coming next," Tigress said, facing the arena and tensing her muscles.

Crane nodded. "Yeah."

"I hope you don't expect me to go easy on you. After that last match, I have a lot of pent-up anger to release."

"I know."

The tense atmosphere was really putting Po on-edge. "Hey guys, let's remember we're all friends here. You don't have to get so-"

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the final match of the Trial of Metal! Master Tigress and Master Crane, step right up SQUAWK!"_

Po didn't even get a response before his two friends left him. He sighed. "Man, I thought this tournament was supposed to be fun. When did everyone get so serious?"

Lao Pi grumbled something obscene while Yin Bei reached out and gently patted him on the shoulder with an ear. "...Don't worry. It'll be okay."

Kuai of course had a different attitude. "Sweet. I get to watch two of the Jade Palace chumps beat the tar out of each other." He leaned back against the wall with his arms behind his head. "It's showtime."

After a few moments, Tigress and Crane appeared in the center of the arena holding weapons. "What did you pick?" he asked.

"Twin dao swords. You?"

"Wind and fire wheels."

There was a brief pause.

"So what did you actually get?" he asked again.

She casually looked down at what now lied in her paws. "A blowgun with no darts. You?"

"A mace that weighs more than myself."

They tossed the useless weapons to the side. "As expected, we settle this the old-fashioned way." Tigress crouched into her stance.

"Fine by me." Crane followed suit.

 _"Wait wait wait, I think I get it now! There's some secret oath in the Jade Palace that all students must only pick lousy weapons when they sign up for a tournament! Haha, I've solved the code SQUAWK!"_

* * *

"Well _that's_ hardly a surprise at this point," Shifu said dryly. "The joke's gotten old, Danzaburo."

"I take it you've seen these two spar with each other many times," the Emperor assumed. "Tell me, how does it usually go?"

"It depends on the surroundings. Whenever they spar on the Jade Tortoise, Crane usually wins due to his superior endurance and naturally, his wings. But among the chaos of the Seven Swinging Clubs of Instant Oblivion, Tigress tends to come out on top because of her greater strength and reflexes."

"Interesting. And on a completely flat, featureless battleground like this arena...?"

"To put it simply, it's a crapshoot. Either one of them could take it. I suppose at this point, it depends on whoever has the greater willpower."

The lion looked back and forth between the two combatants, both staring each other down intently. "...So like you said, a crapshoot."

"Correct."

"Hey Mantis, I'll put ten yuan on-"

"And no betting!"

"Aww..."

* * *

 _"Let the fifth and final round...BEGIN!"_

Both warriors charged each other at once, each fighting for their own separate, but intertwined goals. Tigress wanted to avenge her competitive rival and prove her own abilities in the process. Crane wanted to show his old friends how far he had come and see if perhaps he could live up to the legend surrounding his more famous teammates. They both had the shared goal of putting Kuai in his place.

Tigress brought her arms together and struck with her signature double-palm strike. At the same time, Crane used his Wings of Justice. The two attacks collided and weakened each other, sending both competitors flying back with only slight injuries.

 _"Wowza! Did we save the best for last or what?"_

Crane was the first to recover, and dove back towards Tigress. The feline ducked under his sharp talons, springing back up to pounce at him. Crane had anticipated this and turned himself around in mid-air, knocking her away with a swipe of his wing. Tigress did a back-flip and landed back on the ground, where she had to immediately dodge to the side to avoid another wind attack.

 _"Master Crane appears to be pulling hit-and-run tactics, staying out of range of Master Tigress and her aggressive demeanor! As a fellow avian, I can't blame him SQUAWK! Cats are scary!"_

* * *

De Lu sat in his seat, arms folded in contemplation as he watched Crane in action. "Hmm, he has definitely grown quite a bit since he joined the Jade Palace."

Glancing to his right, he realized such a comment was hardly necessary. Mei Ling was focusing so closely on Crane that the tragedy of the previous match might as well have not even happened. He knew it would all come cascading down on her again once this trial was over, so he figured he might as well let her enjoy the moment.

"Yeah," she said. "He's a lot more confident now. The old Crane would never get in so close. He always preferred to keep his distance. That's how he used to fight _me_."

"Yes, I remember that," the wolf nodded. "But given their long years of training together, surely Master Tigress knows how to fight him now."

Mei Ling smirked. "If she's anywhere near as clever as me, I'm sure she does. Which raises the question: what are you going to do next, Crane?"

* * *

Indeed, Crane had finally pushed his luck with his next dive. As he came in with his talons again, Tigress surprised him by jumping up, _over_ him, and striking down with a kick to his backside.

Crane hit the ground hard, but Tigress waited patiently for him to get back up. There was no honor in attacking a downed adversary. She would never let herself sink to Kuai's level.

When Crane rose again, he made no attempt to fly back up. Either he had learned his lesson or he just wanted to settle this quickly. Instead, he came right at her, swiping with his long wings and talons. Tigress dodged away, but his long reach made it difficult for her to strike back. She sustained a few small scratches, and took a whack to the side of the head, but eventually managed to grab his leg and toss him towards the arena wall. Crane merely had to flap his wings once to avoid making contact.

 _"Oh yeah! Birds rule and cats drool! Er...no offense to any cats in the audience! Crap, gotta backpedal, gotta backpedal...uh...the views expressed in this commentary are solely my own and do not necessarily represent the views of the Wu Xing Tournament or associated parties SQUAWK!...They MIGHT, but not necessarily!"_

* * *

"Oh man, this is getting way too intense," cried Po, who nonetheless had a huge grin on his face. "Who do you think's gonna win?"

It took him a second to realize that he was talking to Crane and Tigress, who were no longer available for comment. Their answers to that question would be pretty predictable anyway.

"Um...I think Master Tigress has a pretty good shot," Yin Bei said meekly.

"Bah! You yougins are always picking brawn over brains!" Lao Pi chastised. "Don't you underestimate that boy Crane just because he's lacking in the muscle department."

"Is there any way for them to _both_ lose?" Kuai asked indifferently.

* * *

Tigress growled a little in frustration and tore off after Crane, who stayed low to the ground, but still out of her reach, using his wings to glide around her attacks. The few that came close to hitting him he was able to deflect with his wings or talons. Finally, she grabbed hold of his legs again and attempted to pull him toward her. However, the avian had many years of experience carrying his much heavier teammates (Po especially) and so, with a strong blast of wind to the ground, they were both launched into the air.

Most people probably would've let go at this point but Tigress was far too stubborn for that. She knew Crane's plan was to throw her from a great height, likely breaking a few bones in the process. She also knew that he wouldn't risk carrying her high enough to cause any crippling damage. So she felt that the gamble was worth it when she started swinging her body back and forth, building up momentum until she finally swung high enough to plant both feet in his chest.

Crane dropped her immediately, and Tigress tumbled only slightly in midair before landing on her feet in typical feline fashion. The drop made her legs sting a bit, but that was much preferable to breaking them. She looked back up to smile confidentially at her opponent when she was suddenly struck in the face by a flying object.

Crane swooped down and caught his hat back on his head again.

 _"Oh wow! This is the first time I've ever seen someone use a hat as a weapon! Creativity points go to Master Crane SQUAWK!"_

"Hey, how come _he_ can do it and not me?!" Po complained. "That is so unfair..."

Tigress growled softly and leapt up almost purely by instinct, taking a swipe at Crane with her claws. Once again, the avain flew circles around her, evading or deflecting every attack.

* * *

"I still can't tell where this battle is going," the Emperor observed. "You were right, Grandmaster. It appears as if this could go either way. We might be here a while."

"It may appear that way," Shifu said slowly, "but I have a feeling this fight is going to end very soon."

"What?" He looked at him in surprise. "You really think so? Neither of them are particularly injured yet."

He smiled knowingly. "Surely, your old master must have taught you that a battle is not decided only on who takes the most damage. Trust me, this will be over soon."

* * *

On her next jump, Tigress nicked Crane with her claws, making him shed some blood and feathers. Crane responded by dropping right to the ground so abruptly that Tigress was knocked off balance for a second. That second was all Crane needed to sweep her legs out from under her with a wing. By the time she got up again, Crane was already on the other side of the arena.

Tigress snarled and charged, which Crane returned, much like they had at the start of the match. Tigress readied her double-palm strike as Crane used his Wings of Justice. Tigress wasn't interested in letting this go the same way, and suddenly veered to the left, missing Crane and his attack. She swung her leg up and clotheslined him as he passed by.

 _"And the Jade Palace masters continue to beat the ever-loving snot out of each other! But wait! It seems one of them is taking it a bit harder than the other!"_

Crane stood apart from Tigress, shaking from pain and fatigue.

But Tigress was worse. Even though she hadn't been fighting for very long, the feline master already looked exhausted, taking deep breaths from exertion and sweating profusely.

"Woah Tigress, what's wrong?" Po asked worriedly.

Tigress didn't answer. Crane stared her down, studying his adversary closely.

* * *

"Do you see now?" Shifu asked.

"I see, but I don't understand. What happened to Master Tigress? Is this some kind of special technique of Crane's?"

"Nothing of the sort. It is exactly what it looks like. Tigress is simply tiring from battle."

"But how? They couldn't have been at it for more than fifteen minutes."

"You'd be surprised how quickly spars end in the Jade Palace. My students simply know each other too well." He pointed to Crane. "For example, Crane knows that Tigress has a highly aggressive fighting style and that the best way to beat her is to simply outlast her." He then pointed to Tigress. "Tigress knows this too, and so she is normally on-guard against such tactics." Back to Crane. "However, Crane knows that she is even more aggressive than usual today, and thus, not as focused. So he disguised his usual strategy by attacking her just enough to get her to come after him, making her exert herself as much as possible. I'm afraid the match is as good as over."

Shifu bowed his head. It was no secret that he was closer to Tigress than any of his other students. He never enjoyed to see her lose.

* * *

To her credit, Tigress did realize her error, but it was too late. Already, she knew she was too tired to fight for much longer. Consequently, she was unable to dodge Crane's Wings of Justice when it came at her again.

Tigress was slammed into the opposing wall and fell onto one knee. She looked up to see Crane standing over her, one wing pointed under her neck. She recognized this gesture from many years of sparring. It meant she had lost. But a loss to a fellow master and friend was one she would gladly accept.

On one condition. "Kick Kuai's ass for me."

Crane smiled. "With pleasure."

"Then I concede."

 _"I gotta say, of all the people I was expecting to forfeit, Master Tigress was not one of them SQUAWK! Well well, it appears that the big cat population of this tournament has just fallen drastically! The winner, and the final competitor to move on to the fourth trial, is Master Crane!"_

* * *

"Ah," Mei Ling smiled. "Clever Crane, very clever."

"Looks like he hasn't changed as much as you thought."

"That's probably for the best. I don't think I could even imagine him as a hardcore warrior like Tigress."

De Lu put on his best impression of the bird's nasally voice. "Surrender criminal scum, or I'll make you look at my calligraphy!"

Mei Ling kept her composure for about two seconds before she burst out laughing. She reached up and patted the wolf on the shoulder. "Good to have you back, De Lu."

She glanced down at the arena and caught sight of Crane smiling up at her.

She smiled back. "You too, Crane."

* * *

Po's jaw was threatening to unhinge and drop to the floor. "No waaaaay. Tigress lost? _Now_ who's going to keep my head in the game?"

"I will, at least for a little while." Tigress casually walked back over and sat down.

"Tigress? But-"

"I'm tired, not injured. A few scratches and bruises aren't enough to warrant a visit to the hospital." She sounded somewhat bitter about this.

Po twiddled his thumbs, wanting to console her, but not sure how. "So...sorry that you lost."

She glared at him. _Okaaaaay, that was NOT the right way to do it._

Seeing him freeze up, she softened her glare, but kept it on him. "Me too. So either you or Crane had better win this tournament."

Kuai snorted. "Yeah, I'd like to see that happen."

"I'm not a competitor anymore, you know. So there's nothing stopping me from _seriously_ hurting you right now if you don't shut up."

He shut up.

Po smiled. Even as wore out as she was, Tigress could still strike fear into the hearts of her enemies. That was one of the things he really liked about her.

He took a deep breath. But enough about that. She was right, it was all down to him and Crane now.

 _Man, talk about pressure. I don't know if I can win this thing, but I'm sure gonna bring the thunder trying!_

* * *

 _And I play with expectations yet again. I bet most of you didn't think Tigress would lose here, and so abruptly at that. I was actually conflicted for a while on who I wanted to win this match, but eventually decided that Crane would make things a bit more interesting. That's also why this fight is only one chapter. I didn't want to spend a lot of time on a fight between two of the good guys, but I also wanted the Jade Palace students to have to directly compete with each other at least ONCE in this tournament. They've been pretty buddy-buddy for the most part and I needed to rock their comfort zone a bit._


	27. Chapter 26: The Judging

_After taking up about a third of the story thus far, the Trial of Metal is finally over. This is just a nice little wrap-up chapter to recap the whole thing._

 _So how's this for a quicker update. ;)_

* * *

Chapter 26: The Judging

The arena of the Trial of Metal was bustling as the final match concluded. The spectators were getting restless to leave by now, as were the competitors themselves. The Final Five (and Tigress) sat on their benches, waiting for something to happen.

"So uh, now what?" asked Po.

"I'm not sure," Lao Pi answered. "The last time they ran this tournament, everyone was dismissed by now. I don't know what they've got cooking for us next."

"What, you mean there's more? Come on, this trial has been going on _forever._ "

"Don't get snippy with me, sonny! You don't know what forever is! Back in my day-"

They were spared the torment of listening to Lao Pi ramble when Chaonao's voice broke over the arena.

 _"Ahem! I know you're all ready to move on by now, but there's still one last thing we need to take care of! Namely...the advantage SQUAWK!"_

" _Advantage?!"_ Kuai yelled. "Come on, not this crap again!"

"I don't recall you complaining about advantages back when you got the first one," Crane muttered.

 _"Okay okay, perhaps 'advantage' is the wrong word to use! See, this prize isn't actually going to help any of the competitors in the next trial SQUAWK! It's less of an advantage and more of an...incentive."_ Chaonao cleared his throat dramatically. _"Whoever is deemed to have made the best performance in their match will win a small cash prize of 10,000 yuan!"_

"Seriously?" Kuai's complaints faded away as a greedy grin appeared on his muzzle.

"Ugh, what a waste of time." Tigress rolled her eyes. Lao Pi nodded in agreement.

They watched as a long desk was wheeled out into the center of the arena, fitted with four seats. _"A specially-chosen panel of judges will review each winning competitor and give them a score from one to ten! Whoever gets the highest score out of forty wins the cash SQUAWK! Who are these judges, you ask? Well I'll tell ya, folks!"_

He pointed a wing to the first empty seat. _"The first judge will be the one in charge of the competitors themselves, Master Bludgeoning Rhino!"_

This decision was met by simultaneous groans from all the competitors (and Tigress). "Of _course_ he is," Crane deadpanned.

As a grumbling Rhino sat down in the first seat, not looking very happy about this himself, Chaonao next gestured up into the stands. _"The next judge is one you should all know pretty well: Grandmaster Shifu of the Jade Palace!"_

Shifu sighed and bowed respectfully. The Emperor raised an eyebrow. "Did you know about this?"

"I did. The tournament officials brought it up to me around the same time they asked for the Juggernaut. I didn't tell any of my students about it, mainly because I didn't want them sucking up to me."

Monkey and Mantis crossed their arms and huffed, evidence that this was the right decision.

 _"The third judge is our very special guest, the Son of Heaven himself, Emperor Huangzu Zihao III SQUAWK!"_

This time it was Shifu who raised an eyebrow. "Funny," the lion chuckled, "I had similar reasons myself. You didn't think they would ask the Emperor of China for nothing more than a speech, did you?"

The two powerful figures came down the aisle, everyone making a wide berth for them. They sat themselves into the next two seats as regally as possible, which wasn't very, considering the condition they were in.

 _"And the final judge, who will provide his own magnificent insight into these events, is..._ " Chaonao swooped down and plopped himself into the final chair, "... _ME!_ "

Dead silence. "...Really?" Po asked.

 _"Hey, I might not know much about kung fu, but I know plenty about good showmanship! How good you guys are in front of a crowd is just as important as how good your techniques are SQUAWK!"_

The other three judges didn't look like they agreed with this statement.

 _"Annnnnyway, let's get started! For the sake of convenience, we'll go in order! Po Ping, please step forward!"_

Po gulped and sidled awkwardly up to the judges' desk. He was never very good at taking criticism, especially not with his dad and everyone else watching. But maybe it wouldn't be so bad. He did pretty well against De Lu, right? He should get some decent scores.

Rhino spoke first. "I bet you think you're hot stuff, don't you?"

 _Oh no, not another trick question!_ "Uh..."

"Well you're not! I admit, your level of willpower against De Lu was impressive, and so was your raw strength. But you wouldn't have needed to show off the former if you had just used the latter and knocked that wolf's block off instead of hugging it out with him! I hate that wussy crap! You get a four!"

Po's face fell into a frown. Truly, one's hopes had never been dashed as quickly as this.

Shifu cleared his throat. "As your teacher, I know from experience how stubborn you can be. I am happy to see that after the many, many, many, many, many, many frustrations you've put me though, that you have developed into one of the most promising young protégées I have ever met. I am proud to have you as my student, Po."

Po was stunned. That had to be the single nicest thing Master Shifu had ever said to him.

"I give you a seven."

He struggled to keep his face from falling again. _Seriously? After all that, I get a seven?!_

The Emperor was next. "I must admit, while your dedication to redeeming your opponents is admirable, it is also potentially fatal. Had De Lu actually been intending to kill you, you would be dead. Still, your potential as a warrior and as a person is great indeed. I will give you an eight."

Po slouched a bit more. He was used to people picking on his idealism, but not in a formal setting.

 _"Well I think you were awesome SQUAWK! You like that word, right? Yeah, you kinda wasted our time for a while there, but you built up a lot of dramatic tension in the process! The audience eats up that stuff! I love it! Nine!"_

Now he was just dumbfounded. Of all the people to give him a glowing score, why on Earth was it Chaonao?

 _"And that brings us to a total of twenty-eight points for the Dragon Warrior SQUAWK! Next!"_

Po waddled back, rubbing his forehead in bewilderment. Lao Pi walked past him and took his place.

"Now _you_ were pretty tough, especially for an old geezer," Rhino said approvingly. "Plus, I like your attitude. Eight!"

"I will give you a nine," said Shifu. "You studied your opponent, found his weakness, and acted on it. That is the technique of a true master."

"Well...erm...I..." The Emperor looked conflicted as he stared at his friend and master. Lao Pi shot him a quick, but pointed glare, warning him not to _dare_ give a biased score. "I...believe you performed admirably. I'd say...eight sounds about right."

 _"I can't say you're very friendly, or pleasant to look at, which costs you some points. The audience isn't really into cranky old guys. I'll give you a five SQUAWK!"_

The other judges looked like they wanted to strangle him, even the normally-benevolent Emperor.

If Chaonao noticed, he didn't show it. _"That brings you to thirty points! Next!"_

"You youngins are all the same," Lao Pi mumbled bitterly as he headed back to his seat. "It's all flashy tricks and cheap gimmicks for you. Bah!"

There was a long pause after the gibbon sat back down. _"Um...I said next!"_

But Yin Bei couldn't move. She was shaking like a leaf, too petrified to go out and be stared at again by so many people.

"Dragon Warrior, could you lend us a paw, here?" the Emperor asked gently.

"Come on, it'll be okay," Po tried to comfort her. She just kept shaking. "Sorry about this." Po was forced to literally pick the hare up and put her down in front of the judges, giving her an encouraging pat on the head before returning to his seat.

"That little display sums up my feelings perfectly," Rhino huffed. "You're too wimpy to get this far and I don't see you going any further." Bei's head dropped as she shivered. "You get a three, and that's only because you at least showed up for your match on time, unlike the 'esteemed' Master Viper."

"Don't talk about Viper like that!" Bei suddenly snapped, raising her head back up to glare daggers at him.

Rhino blinked in surprise. "Hmm, make that a four. But don't push your luck."

"Your perceptive abilities are very impressive," Shifu chimed in. "Had it not been for your psychological weakness and Master Viper's venom, I dare say that your match would've been a lot less close."

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT WOULD'VE!"

"Thank you, Master Rooster." Shifu's eye twitched. "Yin Bei, I give you an eight."

"I understand that your anxiety must be a serious handicap," said the Emperor sympathetically. "For you to come to this tournament must have taken an enormous amount of bravery, and clearly you are more than willing to stand up for your friends. However, an inability to communicate is an even more serious handicap. I fear you have much to learn about society, but I believe you will do just fine. I give you a seven."

Bei smiled, ever so slightly.

 _"You were fantastic! The young girl fighting to overcome her personal demons while giving her all against a cherished friend SQUAWK! It's so beautiful! It brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it!"_ His eyes were perfectly dry. _"You get a perfect ten!"_

The snow hare beamed, in spite of herself.

 _"Your total score is twenty-nine! Next!"_

"T-Thank you!" Bei hopped back to her seat on all fours, not wanting to stay there any longer than she had to.

"Alright, this is it," Kuai grinned and cracked his fingers before stepping up. "Lay it on me."

He must have been under the impression that he was going to get heaps of praise, given the look on his face when the judges started tearing into him.

"Congrats on beating up a blind guy. Scratch that, congrats on having to _cheat_ to beat up a blind guy. You must be real proud of yourself, which I'd say sarcastically, except the sad part is I know you actually are. All you're getting from me is two things: 'jack' and 'squat'!"

"You are very fortunate to have invented such a powerful technique, otherwise you'd be the bottom of the barrel in kung fu potential. I pity you the day this little crutch of yours finally fails on you. Three."

"You may be a decent fighter, but you're a horrible person. Someone like you will never be Wu Xing Champion, I promise you that. Five."

 _"Um...you're kind of a dick. You know that right? Lucky for you, the audience loves a heel, if only because they'll be actively rooting for your downfall now. So...seven I guess. That brings your total to fifteen. Wow, that's just embarrassing. Next!"_

Kuai fumed all the way back to his seat. The other competitors (and Tigress) struggled to maintain professional courtesy by not laughing at him. It was their most difficult challenge yet.

Last up was Master Crane. The bird was nervous, but kept his head up high, knowing all of his friends were watching him like a hawk right now. He had to stay confident, at least for them.

"You're stringy and neurotic, not to mention a wuss. And Master Tigress is even more of one for forfeiting to you. Two!"

"I see I have taught you well, Master Crane. You demonstrated the ability to adapt your usual tactics to a unique situation. Well done. Nine."

"Your warrior spirit is strong. You ended your match quickly, and with honor. Eight."

 _"This is why we love to root for the underdog. Occasionally, they'll actually do something impressive. Nine! Your total score is twenty-eight!"_

Crane tried to hide his disappointment and gave a courteous bow.

 _Thanks, Rhino. At least I beat Kuai's score, not that that's saying much..._

As Crane returned to his seat, Chaonao abruptly shot out of his own and returned to his spot in the air. _"That does it, folks! The winner of the 10,000 yuan prize has been decided SQUAWK! The winner is...Lao Pi!"_

The crowd started to cheer.

"No."

The cheering stopped abruptly.

 _"I...uh, I beg your pardon?"_

"No," Lao Pi repeated. "I don't want your stupid money. That's not what I came here for."

The spectators mumbled uneasily amongst themselves.

 _"See, this is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about SQUAWK! You need to be more personable if you want to get fans!"_

"I don't want fans either."

 _"Now you're just talking crazy!"_ Chaonao looked genuinely horrified. " _Fine, if you really don't want the money, then I guess we'll have to give it to the second-highest score instead...Master Silent Hare!"_

The crowd went wild again. Yin Bei looked utterly stupefied. "M-Me? I couldn't-"

 _"Oh no, don't you go refusing it too! Once makes an interesting twist, twice is just obnoxious! Take the money already SQUAWK!"_

"Uh...o-okay..."

Everyone congratulated the snow hare heartily, except for Kuai, who was still too ticked off to say much of anything.

 _"And that's a wrap, for real this time! It's been a long trial, and I hope to see all you fine folks back for the next one! This is Chaonao, signing off SQUAWK!"_

* * *

 _A quick thank you to Mind Jack for coming up with this idea. This is the most fun chapter I've written for a while now. My main goal here was to make each of the four judges distinct from each other. Rhino judges based on physical prowess, Shifu on technique, Emperor Zihao on character,_ _and Chaonao on showmanship. It was surprisingly easy to decide who I wanted to win this mini contest. I didn't want Po or Crane to win the money as that would take a lot of suspense out of later trials, Lao Pi had no reason to accept it as was demonstrated here, and I sure as heck wasn't giving it to Kuai. That left Yin Bei, who certainly deserved it regardless._

 _Yes, Chaonao ALWAYS speaks in italics, even in casual conversation. He's just that kind of guy._

 _I was asked who the main villain of this story is, which is an interesting question. It's been pretty unambiguously Danzaburo for a while now, but Kuai has become much more prominent in the past couple chapters. I'd still call Danza-san the "main villain", but Kuai's a very firm secondary one._


	28. Chapter 27: Visiting Hours

_These next two chapters are going to be pretty filler, I'll admit. It's mostly just the various characters hanging out for a day. I still felt it necessary, if only to provide closure on a few things. Besides, we could all use a little break after the constant action._

* * *

Chapter 27: Visiting Hours

The atmosphere at the Jade Palace was completely different the morning after the Trial of Metal.

For one, it was a lot more despondent. Only two students were still in the tournament and one was missing entirely, due to still being in the hospital. Viper's absence was partially due to her fight with Yin Bei, but they knew it was largely due to her kidnapping by Danzaburo.

That was the other issue. No one was feeling very confident about catching the spy of a thousand scents anymore. Not only had he eluded them once again, he had done so while openly sabotaging and humiliating them. It hampered their morale to say the least.

So it came as a surprise to everyone when Grandmaster Shifu took them all outside the palace and gave them the day off.

"Master, I mean no disrespect, but why?!" Tigress practically shouted. "He's still out there and more dangerous than ever! This is the worst possible time to take a break!"

Shifu was not moved. "On the contrary, I believe a break is just what you all need. That last trial proved particularly stressful, especially for you Master Tigress. Remember that you are a competitor no longer precisely because you let your stress get the best of you."

Tigress looked away, having no argument for that.

"But Master," Crane protested, "shouldn't we still be keeping the heat on Danzaburo? I mean, we didn't really make any progress in that trial."

Shifu surprised them again when he laughed. "Once again, you are mistaken. In fact, we have made great progress. His Highness and I recently made a discovery that may well lead us right to Danzaburo."

"WHAT?!" everyone shouted.

"A discovery? What is it?" asked Po excitedly.

" _No_." Shifu slammed his staff firmly on the ground. "If I told you, that's all you would be thinking about for the rest of the day. I want you to use this day to relax. I'm serious."

Without another word, the red panda turned and walked back into the Jade Palace, slamming the double-doors shut behind him. It was a clear warning that not one of them should come inside unless they wanted the punishment of a lifetime.

Mantis gave a sharp whistle. "Man, Shifu ordering us not to train? This _is_ serious."

"Great, what am I supposed to do now?" asked Tigress, already storming down the steps. The others quickly followed after her.

"Well, you could do what he said and relax," Po suggested.

"Po, I don't think Tigress knows what relaxation even _means,_ " Monkey joked, making the feline growl at him. "Case in point."

"Here's an idea then. How about we all head over to the hospital? You know, to go visit everyone?"

Tigress calmed down. "That's...actually not a bad idea." Her thoughts instantly went to Reidak, Viper, Yin Bei, Mei Ling, Reidak, Dun, De Lu, Reidak, Reidak's children, and Reidak. "Yes, let's do that."

* * *

No one was about to argue this idea, for fear of incurring the wrath of Tigress, and so they soon found themselves walking into the Valley's local hospital. Their first stop was obvious.

"...Guys?" Viper asked weakly, sitting up in her hospital bed. The snake was noticeably bruised in a few places and had numerous red welts across her belly. "I didn't think you'd be in to visit so soon. I figured Master Shifu would have you training your butts off after what happened to me."

"Believe it or not, he actually gave us the day off," said Mantis, who still barely believed it himself.

"What? You're yanking my tail."

"Stranger things have happened, I'm sure. But not many." Tigress shook her head. "Enough about that. Are you doing alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Viper smiled. "My injuries are pretty minor, even if I did get the crap kicked out of me. Literally."

Po made a face. "Ew, you mean-?"

"The kicking part."

"Oh, gotcha."

Viper stretched herself out on her bed. "So what did I miss? I was gone for almost the entire trial you know."

Monkey ticked off points on his fingers. "Well, Po's really stubborn, Lao Pi's a total badass, Kuai's a total jerkass, and then Crane beat Tigress."

"Really?" She looked over at the feline.

"Unfortunately, I was not at peak performance during my match. I tired myself out too easily. I knew if I kept fighting, I would just overtax myself and end up in a hospital bed like you. So I forfeited."

"Wow...that's pretty impressive self-restraint actually."

"I know right?" Po put an arm around Tigress's shoulder. "She's really come a long way."

"Po, please do not celebrate my humiliating loss."

He withdrew his arm. "Sorry."

"It's great that you all came to visit me," Viper said, "but I'm not sure it was necessary. The doctor said I should be checked out in no time. So you guys go enjoy the rest of your day off. Don't worry about me."

"As you wish." Tigress nodded and left the room, a bit too quickly.

"Guess where she's going," Mantis smirked.

"Come to think of it, Mei Ling is probably hanging around here too," Crane said. "I should go look for her." He left as well.

"Looks like it's just us then," Po grinned. "Alright, first place we gotta go is-"

"THERE YOU ARE!"

Po was abruptly glomped from behind. This kind of thing didn't even surprise him anymore. "Hey, Xingfu."

"Hi, Po!" The fox girl smiled and nuzzled his cheek. "I overheard you guys saying you had the day off..."

"You mean you eavesdropped on us again."

"...so I was thinking, maybe the two of us should spend the day together."

"Woah...uh, gee...I don't know about..." He saw Monkey and Mantis both grinning at him, the former shooting him a discreet thumbs-up. "Actually yeah, I guess that would be okay." Better to suffer through Xingfu's relentless affection than have to put up with his friends' teasing for the rest of the day.

"GREAT! So I was thinking we could..." Xingfu's voice faded as she dragged Po out of the room by the arm, the panda giving a sheepish wave to his friends as he disappeared from sight.

"And then there were two," Mantis sighed. "You ever get the feeling we're just really out of the loop?"

"Don't worry, I feel like that too sometimes," said Viper. "But seriously, get out of my room. I want to take a nap."

* * *

Tigress found Reidak a few rooms over, lying on another bed. He was covered in several bandages, as well as a cast around his broken arm. His children were there too, making the place a bit claustrophobic.

"I was wondering if you'd come to see me," he said, noticing her presence instantly.

"Why wouldn't I?" Tigress asked, almost offended.

"No reason really. I just figured you might have too much pride to come see an old crippled tiger who couldn't even win his match."

"Don't worry about that. I couldn't win mine either."

"You lost? Really?" Tianna asked. "But you looked so strong."

Tigress gritted her teeth. People really needed to stop reminding her about this.

"Da, it is shocking indeed," Reidak smiled. "But at least now we have something in common."

"Yeah, like that's the only thing," Xavier said sarcastically.

She came to the conclusion that there were entirely too many tigers in this room. "How well can you move?"

"I can move just fine," Reidak said, as if the question was ridiculous. "As soon as I'm cleared, I'm getting the hell out of this dreary place."

Tigress bit her lip, struggling to get her next words out. This was not the kind of thing she did regularly. "When you do...would you like to come with me somewhere?"

"Oohhhhhhh," the trio chorused.

" _Alone?_ "

Reidak laughed. "Of course. It would be my pleasure."

* * *

Crane was being almost stealthy as he searched around for Mei Ling. The first place he checked was De Lu's room, but there was no one there, including the wolf himself. He instead found her in Dun's room, sitting at the pangolin's side. To his great relief, Kuai was absent. His presence would have made this a lot more awkward.

Unlike Viper, it was clear that Dun wasn't leaving anytime soon. The pangolin was lying on his stomach, out cold, with a sizable bandage covering the crack in his backside. "He'll be okay," Mei Ling said, seeing his concern. "They just had to put him on painkillers. A _lot_ of painkillers."

"That's a relief. So how are you feeling?"

Mei Ling looked down at the floor. "I could be better. Yesterday, one of my students lost and the other won in the worst way possible. I'm not feeling very confident in my teaching abilities right now."

He came up and put a wing around her. "Hey, you're the one who taught _me_ confidence. You don't get to doubt yourself like this."

She smiled a little. "...I guess not."

"Is Kuai around, by any chance?" Crane asked nervously.

"He came by earlier. He brought Dun _that_ ," she pointed to a small box of candy next to Dun's bed, "thanked me for my support, and left."

"That doesn't sound like him."

"I meant what I said. He's nicer than you think, it's just buried very, very far down. I don't doubt that he genuinely cares for me and Dun at least." She stood up abruptly, making Crane flinch. "But I want to make one thing clear: I do not condone Kuai's actions today. He's been allowed to have his way for far too long. He needs to be stopped, Crane. And I have a feeling that you need to be the one to stop him."

"I'll...do my best." What else could he say? He'd basically promised the same thing to Tigress anyway.

She perked up. "Good! Then what do you want to do today?"

"Actually, I was hoping to visit De Lu as well. Do you know where he is?"

"Sure," she grinned. "Right behind you."

"Wha-?" Crane was suddenly knocked to the ground from behind. He felt a padded foot step onto his back and couldn't help but smile. "Hi, De Lu."

"Hi? Is that the most you have to say to your old buddy?" De Lu asked in mock indignation. "I put a lot of effort into sneaking up on you just now. Least I could get is a 'Greetings'."

"You're right, that was pretty poor. How about we go somewhere and talk then?"

"Go somewhere, yes. Talk, no." The wolf smiled deviously. "I have a better idea. How about a spar?"

"A-A spar?"

"Yep. They say that the best way to get to know someone is to fight them, and we haven't gotten to know each other for a long, _long_ time."

"Hey, that sounds like fun," Mei Ling said enthusiastically. "Count me in too. Let's do it!"

Crane gulped. _What have I gotten myself into this time?_

* * *

Viper didn't get to sleep for very long, but she was alright with that, considering the person who woke her up was Yin Bei.

The snow hare sat on the side of her bed, smiling broadly. "Wakey wakey. Sorry for the welts."

"Yeah, well sorry for the envenomation," Viper laughed, before realizing that Bei was not alone. Her demeanor changed instantly. "Hello, Master Rooster."

Rooster coughed uncomfortably, seeing the harsh glare he was getting from the snake. "Hello to you too, Master Viper. I suppose I should apologize as well for my uncouth behavior."

"You _suppose?"_

"By which I mean I do. I hereby apologize for accusing you of cheating."

"And?"

"And for the racial slurs."

" _And?_ "

"And for implying that you are of a promiscuous nature."

"That's the best you're gonna get out of him, trust me," Bei whispered to her.

Viper sighed in frustration. "Fine. I accept your apology."

Rooster nodded. "Good. Now that that's taken care of, I must be off. I have other business to attend to." He turned and left on the spot.

"Anyone ever tell you your master's kind of a jerk?"

"All the time," Bei giggled. "Though from what I hear, Master Shifu isn't known to be the friendliest guy either."

"Touché." She noticed that Bei seemed a bit perkier than usual. "What are you so upbeat about?"

"Didn't you hear? I just won 10,000 yuan from the last trial."

"You WHAT?!" _Was this not important enough to mention, Monkey?!_

"Yep! Rooster confiscated it immediately of course. He doesn't want me just wandering around with that much money. Still, I've got some pretty big plans for it."

"Like what?"

Bei smiled knowingly, lying on the bed next to her. "Gee, I don't know if I should tell you. At least not right here. Wasn't there a certain someplace you wanted to take me after the trial...?

Viper's smile got dangerously wide. "The spa! That's right! Okay then, I'll take you as soon as I get cleared to leave."

"Actually, you already are. We checked in with the doctor on the way here, but I said I wanted to tell you myself. Well, technically Rooster said that..."

"What are we waiting for then? Let's get going!" Viper leapt over the side of the bed, wrapping her tail around Bei's ears and pulling her off as well.

Bei groaned a little, now lying on the floor as Viper started to literally drag her away. _Why do I suddenly get the feeling this wasn't a good idea?_

* * *

Monkey and Mantis didn't really have any other place they wanted to go. They weren't hungry enough to get a meal, or tired enough to rest, so they settled for hanging out at the Shushi Inn. They soon discovered the place had a bar, and one thing led to another.

Monkey took a swig of his drink and let out a loud belch. "Urk. Scuse' me."

"Scuse' nothin'," said Mantis, swaying unsteadily in his seat. "We hash our rights, just like eveeeeeeeeryone elshe *hic*."

"Yeah...yeahyeahyeah! Tha's right!" Monkey raised his cup into the air. "We don needs no stinkin' prize money anyways! We's already awesome!"

"WE SHO AWESOME!" Mantis slammed his cup into Monkey's, which shattered both and drenched the bug in alcohol. "Awwww, shucks!"

* * *

 _Poor Monkey and Mantis, so out of the loop indeed. Those two have the misfortune of being the only members of the main cast who didn't last long enough to have a meaningful connection with anyone, and so I was at a bit of a loss deciding what to do with them here. The end result is them getting shitfaced at the Shushi Inn because why not? It's not like this story is entirely family-friendly anyway._


	29. Chapter 28: The Calm

_Welcome to the most unexpectedly huge chapter of this story. This is the second part of hangout day, where things get even more wacky and_ _ridiculous. Enjoy._

* * *

Chapter 28: The Calm

Shifu was finding inner peace increasingly difficult to hold on to. Despite the assurance he had shown his students earlier, he wasn't entirely certain that this new lead of theirs was really going to work. This was especially distressing considering they were almost out of time. If they didn't catch Danzaburo by the end of the tournament, that was it.

It was hard to cheer his students on to victory under these conditions.

He was interrupted in the middle of his meditation (because that's _always_ when he seemed to get interrupted) by a sudden knock on the palace doors. Grumbling to himself, he got up and walked over to them, swearing that if this was one of his students, there had better be a dire emergency going on for them to disobey him.

It was not one of his students. It was in fact someone he had never even expected would show up here.

Master Blazing Rooster stood in front of him, gazing down at him harshly. "We need to talk."

* * *

"This is quite the extensive field trip you are taking me on, Master Tigress. I'm not sure my doctor would approve."

"I'm not sure you give a damn what your doctor wants," she countered.

"True."

She continued to lead the other tiger further and further away from the hospital, until they had left the village entirely. She herself couldn't even explain why she was doing this. The thought had just sprung into her head while visiting Reidak in his room, and before she knew it, the words had left her mouth. There was simply no logical reason to do this, especially to come _here_ of all places. She didn't think she would ever have any desire to come here again.

She wasn't even sure she still knew the way, but soon enough, she found herself coming to a stop. "We're here."

They were now standing in the middle of an expansive field. In front of them was a large, stone building. It was completely circular, with small openings lining the exterior to serve as windows, and an overhanging roof on top. A narrow path led up to it, lined on each side by a stone fence.

Funny, she never remembered it looking so serene.

She let Reidak pass her, allowing him to "see" the building in his own way before she said anything. "...What is this place?" he finally asked.

"This...is Bao Gu Orphanage. And for a long time, it was my home."

He was pretty far away, but she could still see the look of shock on his face. "You mean...you too...?"

"Yes, I was also an orphan once. Before Master Shifu took me in, I lived in this building. I'll be the first to admit that Bao Gu was a lot nicer than whatever hellhole you must have been raised in, but...it wasn't easy for me either. I had the misfortune of being the only predator in a place full of cute little bunnies and duckies. That doesn't exactly help one's social skills." She laughed humorlessly. "Eventually, Master Shifu came here and adopted me. I've lived at the Jade Palace ever since."

Reidak listened intently, not saying a word until she was finished. "Why are you telling me this?"

Good question. She barely had an answer herself. "You told me about your past already. I felt it only fair to return the favor." Or was that just an excuse? She couldn't tell.

Reidak just nodded and, after scoping out the place for a few more seconds, started to head towards the doorway.

"Wait, what are you doing?" she asked, suddenly panicked.

"Seems a bit silly to come all this way and not go inside. Don't you want to see how the place has been all this time?"

"I...I don't think that's a good idea." What would her old caretakers even say? She doubted they would think of her as a monster anymore, but old habits die hard. Not to mention, the children...

"Are you afraid?"

He knew her all too well. "O-Of course not." Tigress took a deep breath and reluctantly followed him inside.

* * *

"You know, technically Master Shifu forbid me from training today."

Crane held his stance, looking nervously between his two friends. They didn't need to travel far to find a good place to fight. The roof of the hospital served that purpose just fine.

"Well _technically_ , this isn't training. This is just for fun," Mei Ling smiled.

"For me or for you?"

"For both of us. You know, Mei Ling and myself," said De Lu, already itching for some action. "Come on, let's start already."

"I'm really not sure I should-"

But De Lu was very sure, and he launched a flying kick at the bird mid-sentence. Crane reflexively flew up to avoid it, where he was immediately drop-kicked by a waiting Mei Ling.

He coughed up some dust from the broken roof tiles. "Urrgh...you're cheating."

"No we're not. It's a free-for-all."

"Then why are you ganging up on me?"

"Great minds think alike," De Lu shrugged innocently, then attacked again. This time Crane dodged to the side, then swept the wolf up in his wings and threw him into Mei Ling.

"Guess you both had the idea of falling over yourselves then," Crane smiled smugly.

Mei Ling pushed the wolf off of her and stood back up again. "Oh, now _this_ means war."

"It sure does." De Lu cracked his knuckles.

Crane saw the smiles on their faces and was suddenly reminded of the old days at Lee Da. They used to do this kind of thing all the time there, always trying to one-up each other. He couldn't remember a time they had ever been closer than in the middle of a spar. Now he understood what De Lu meant by getting to know each other again. Maybe this would be beneficial after all.

They continued to pummel each other well into the afternoon.

* * *

Shifu was caught off-guard to say the least. "...About?"

Rooster stepped into the Hall of Warriors and swept his wing. A sudden burst of wind came from behind him and slammed the doors shut again. "Gee, I don't know, how about that time I saw Yang Chao about to kill your student despite being dead for nine months? That would be a great place to start."

Shifu pinched his nose. This was _really_ not a good time to put up with this guy. "Look, I don't know what you saw back there, but I can assure you, it could not have been Yang Chao."

"You're lying," he said bluntly.

"Of course I'm not lying. You just said yourself that he was dead!"

"Now you're lying about lying."

"I don't have time for this," Shifu began to walk away. "You can believe what you want, but-"

"Who's Danzaburo?"

He stopped. He was hoping he had forgotten about that name. "Nobody important. Now please, I have to get back to wo-"

"You can't lie to me, Shifu," said Rooster. "No seriously, you can't. It's literally impossible."

Shifu furrowed his brow in annoyance. Rooster had the innate ability to irritate him like no other, not even Po. He was clearly not going to leave him alone until he got what he wanted. Only one thing left to try then: the old reverse psychology trick.

He looked Rooster in the eye, and with a completely straight face, said, "Danzaburo is a Japanese spy, who is currently infiltrating the Wu Xing Tournament in the guise of one of its participants. My students and I are on a secret mission to find and apprehend him. He is a highly-skilled shapeshifter and illusionist, and the Yang Chao you saw was merely him in disguise."

"Got it. Thanks."

 _Damn._

Shifu quickly sped around behind him before he could leave. "You cannot tell _anyone_ about this, understand? Not even your own student. I'm serious!"

He was expecting Rooster to be as difficult as usual, but to his great surprise, the bird immediately stood up straight and placed one wing over his heart. "I swear upon my honor to say nothing on the matter."

He left right after that, Shifu too stunned to stop him.

 _What a strange, strange bird._

* * *

Tigress didn't even realize she was closing her eyes until she bumped into Reidak's backside.

"I guess you've gotten a glimpse into _my_ world now."

"Ha Ha. You know, this isn't something I can just joke about. I haven't seen any of these people in ages and I for one want to be on my best behavior."

"I don't think that will be necessary."

"And why not?" Tigress stepped out from behind him and immediately got her answer.

Bao Gu Orphanage, a place she had always remembered as vibrant and full of life, was now completely abandoned. The whole interior was bleak and empty, with a fine layer of dust covering everything in sight. No frightened orphans, no strict caretakers, no nothing. "...I never realized..."

"That your 'old home' is no more? Did you assume that it would be exactly as you left it? Times change, Master Tigress," he said sympathetically.

Tigress was mesmerized only a moment longer before she abruptly turned to leave. "It's for the best, anyway. Now I never have to think about this place again."

She froze as Reidak put his good arm around her. "Is that really what you want? To forget about all of this forever? I know you have had many bad memories here, but surely there are some good as well." He laughed. "Just look at me! If I fixated on every loss I've ever suffered, do you think I would be the cheerful guy I am now?"

Tigress remained silent. She _did_ have good memories here. She remembered meeting Master Shifu for the first time, being taught to control her immense strength, finally earning the acceptance of her peers. For the first time, she had felt like more than just a monster that no one wanted.

No, she didn't want to forget about that. Not ever.

"Would you like to show me your room?" Reidak asked.

"...Yes...yes, I think I would."

She spent the next few hours just lying on her old bed. It was entirely too small for her now, but she didn't mind at all.

* * *

By the time they finally stopped their sparring session, Crane, Mei Ling, and De Lu were all left exhausted. The trio lied down on top of the roof, gazing up into the sky. "That was certainly something," De Lu laughed. "Haven't had such an exhilarating fight in ages."

Crane turned his head towards him. "What about the one you had with Po?"

"It's not the same. For one, I wasn't exactly myself at the time," he turned his head away regretfully. "And two, that whole match was way too serious for my tastes. Nothing's more fun than a bunch of friends just beating the crud out of each other."

"Hear hear," said Mei Ling. "Ah, the life of a kung fu master."

"So what are you going to do now, De Lu?" asked Crane. "I mean, now that you don't have an honor grudge to worry about? You're not going to go back to being...?"

He shuddered in disgust. "No. NO! Never again. I'm done with that life. Now I need a new one. I think I'll head out into the world, do a little soul-searching, battle the elements..."

"Or you could come back to Lee Da," Mei Ling suggested. They both looked at her strangely. "What? Don't tell me neither of you thought of that. Ugh, _men."_

"I...I couldn't," the wolf said. "Not after what I did. Even if you've forgiven me, I doubt the people back at the academy will be so kind. You know word from this tournament is going to carry back there..."

"So what?" Mei Ling would've slapped him a third time if she could. "You think they're gonna care? If they accepted a string bean like Crane into their ranks, they'll be fine with you."

"Hey!"

"And if anyone has a problem with it..." Mei Ling grinned widely, then drew a finger sharply across her throat.

"You'll kill them?!"

"No no no, you gotta get out of that assassin mindset! It was just a joke," she reassured him. "...mostly."

"Even if that doesn't work out, you could always stay at the Jade Palace for a while," said Crane. "I'm sure I could arrange something with Master Shifu."

De Lu was silent for several seconds as he turned his gaze back to the sky. "...Thank you."

He never realized before this very moment just how much he had missed having friends.

* * *

The trip to the spa certainly turned out to be more eventful than either Viper or Yin Bei expected.

"So what do you want?" Viper asked almost immediately after they entered.

"Uh...wha...?" Bei was a bit too enraptured by this place to pay attention. There were a lot of people here, but Viper's presence combined with the strong scent of lavender kept her calm. That scent was just too relaxing for it's own good.

"For your spa treatment? I'm pretty limited in that department, thanks to lacking the requisite body parts, but they could do a lot more with you. Like a fur grooming, or an ear massage, or..." Viper looked the snow hare up and down, stopping when she got all the way down.

"Oh, _duh._ "

Several minutes later, the serpent was lying stretched across a table, covered in a coating of mud with a pair of cucumbers over her eyes. A mud wrap was an especially potent treatment when you were a reptile.

"So how are you liking this place?" she asked.

"It's...nicer than I thought," Bei answered honestly. She was seated at a chair next to her, looking strangely at her own two feet. "But can you remind me why they stuck these little rubber things between my toes?"

"That's for your pedicure."

"What's a...peddy-cur?"

"Don't worry about it," Viper grinned. "Just relax and enjoy it."

And so she did, closing her eyes and lying back in contentment as a pair of pigs started filing away at her tiny foot claws. "...That feels nice."

She was so relaxed in fact, that she completely forgot how they even got here until just that moment. "Oh wait! I didn't tell you what I was going to do with my prize money yet, did I?"

"I wasn't going to bring it up yet, buuuuut..."

Bei couldn't remain stimulated in this place for long and soon mellowed out again. "I've never mentioned this before, but the town I come from, Zhongwen, isn't exactly the greatest place to live. It's stricken with poverty and there's a real issue with homeless people and orphaned children. So I was thinking I could use the money towards turning my parents' old cabin into an orphanage. I'm actually pretty good with children, you know. I even had to lead a bunch of them out of a psychotic killer's dungeon once, heh heh..." She twiddled her fingers nervously. "That sounds like a good idea, right? I mean, I'm not sure how far this money will actually get me, it's just..."

"That sounds great, Bei," Viper said softly, smiling at her. "I actually had a similar idea myself. I was going to donate the prize money to my Dad and our old village. But you're right, that 10,000 yuan is only going to get you so far." She lifted one of the cucumbers off of her eyes and looked at her, smirking. "I think 1,000,000 will serve you a lot better."

Bei smirked back. "I'll do my best." She noticed the filing suddenly stopped. "Oh? They're done already?"

"Not quite. Next they'll use the pumice stones."

"What's a...poomeece stone?"

Bei soon found out exactly what a pumice stone was, as did everyone within a fifty-foot radius.

"Gyahahahahahahahahaha!" The hare thrashed around, laughing hysterically. The pigs had to hold her ankles just to keep her still as they rubbed the rough stones against her soles. "HeeheeheeheeheeheeHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

It occurred to Viper that perhaps she should've warned her about this ahead of time. But it wasn't her fault; she didn't even _have_ feet. Besides, after getting to know the shy, quiet Yin Bei, there was something very refreshing about seeing her like this. "You okay?" the snake asked, with no small amount of amusement.

Bei seemed to take that as a sort of challenge. "J-J-Just fiheeheeheeheeheene! Do-Dohohohon't worry! I c-c-c-can totally tahayhayhayhayhayke this!"

She totally couldn't take this, as was evidenced by her inadvertently kicking the two pigs through a wall about ten seconds later.

"...Oops."

Viper had to wrap her tail around her mouth to keep from bursting out laughing herself.

* * *

"Uh...was all of this really necessary?"

Po didn't know for sure, but he was reasonably certain that he had never been more uncomfortable in his life. Of all the places Xingfu could have taken him, did it really need to be the Lake of Tears?

"It has sentimental value," she reasoned. "I think this is where our relationship really blossomed, don't you?" She unfurled a large blanket and laid it on top of a patch of grass for them to sit on.

"It's just so dank, and cold, and smelly, and wait-relationship?"

Xingfu sat down and cheerfully started laying out food items from a wooden basket. "It's really the perfect place for a nice picnic when you think about it."

"If you say so." Po sat himself down, sinking about halfway into the marsh. He glanced over at the food and started to feel better already. "Oh, wow! You actually got some cooked dumplings here? And a bowl of noodles? And stinky tofu? Awesome!"

"It wasn't easy, but you were worth it," the fox smiled as he chowed down.

"Dun yo wan anyfing?" Po asked, his mouth stuffed full to bursting already.

"Nah, I'm good. I just like watching you eat."

That comment instantly killed his appetite. Po swallowed the rest of his food in one big gulp. "So...Xingfu...do you wanna tell me about yourself?"

"There's not much to say really. I'm just a young woman with way too much time on her paws."

"Least you're honest," he mumbled.

"I'd much rather know more about you."

He blinked. "...I'm under the impression you know way too much already."

She waved a paw dismissively. "Only the basic stuff, like your favorite foods, techniques, catchphrases, sleeping positions...I want to know more about the _real_ you. The you that only your friends and family get to see. The personal stuff."

"That's, uh, that's kinda personal for a reason."

"Come on, we're friends now, aren't we?" Xingfu suddenly plopped herself onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. She came close enough that their noses were touching. "You can tell me anything."

Scratch that. _This_ was the most uncomfortable he had ever felt.

* * *

"Sorry I got us kicked out of the spa," Yin Bei blushed as she and Viper headed back down the street.

"Eh, it's alright. Now they might not charge for the pedicure."

"If they do, I should pay though, considering I have all this money now..."

"No way, I'll put it on my tab. You save that money for that orphanage of yours."

"Still, I probably should pay for the property damage at least."

Viper coiled herself around the hare until she was staring right into her eyes. "You. Are. Not. Paying."

"O-Okay." Viper promptly released her as if nothing happened.

They continued on in silence for a bit longer before Bei spoke up again. She was blushing even more now, becoming very noticeable on her stark white fur. "By the way...could you please not mention this to anyone? My teammates back home would make sparring _so_ much harder if they knew I was...well..."

"Obscenely ticklish?" Viper laughed, playfully nudging her in the shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll keep _that_ bit of knowledge entirely for myself."

"Thank you...h-hey!" Bei yelled. "Wait, does that mean you're still planning to come visit me sometime?"

"Of course I am. We can even have a rematch if you want."

"I sure do! I need to fight you at your best, not weighed down by some dumb nunchucks."

Viper froze. "I-I don't know what you're-"

"Come on Viper, you're a terrible liar. I know that's not your choice of weapon and I also know that you weren't at perfect health at the time. Can't have that." She wagged a finger at her and winked. "I didn't want to admit it, but I actually wasn't giving you my all either. I still have a secret technique you've never even seen before."

"I guess that settles it. It's a rematch then." She stuck out her tail and Bei shook it.

"Yep. Can't wait."

* * *

As night began to fall upon the Valley of Peace, the masters found themselves assembling at Dragon Warrior Noodles & Tofu for some early dinner. They weren't entirely sure what Shifu qualified as a day, so they didn't want to take chances returning to the palace just yet. Presently, only Tigress, Viper, and Crane had even shown up.

"So De Lu's going to try staying at the academy for a while, and we'll see how that works out," Crane finished his story. "What about you guys? Anything interesting happen to you today?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," said Tigress, looking even more reserved than usual.

"Viper?"

"Me neither." Oddly, she had the complete opposite expression, looking like she was trying hard to suppress a grin.

"Okaaaaay..." Crane lifted a spoonful of soup to his mouth and took a sip. "I guess we eat in silence then."

But it was not to be. Before they could eat much of anything, Monkey and Mantis suddenly rushed into the restaurant, nearly crashing into their table.

"Where have you two been?" Viper asked.

Tigress sniffed the air, detecting something familiar on their breath as they panted. "More importantly, what have you been drinking?"

"Nevermind that now!" Monkey shouted. "We've got bigger problems!"

"Yeah!" Mantis gasped out. "This is seriously bad news!"

The three looked between each other apprehensively. "What are you talking about?" asked Crane.

"So we were hanging out at the Shushi Inn, doing...stuff," Monkey explained. "when we suddenly hear some kind of commotion going on upstairs. We head up to see what the big deal is and there's this whole group of people all crowding around one of the rooms. The door was open, but it was all dark inside, so we had to get closer to take a peek and...and oh gods, I can't believe it..." He put a hand to his head, overwhelmed.

"Are you sure this wasn't some kind of drunken hallucination?" Tigress had to ask.

"This is serious!" Mantis insisted. "Fine, I admit it, we were drunk okay?! We were drunk off our asses! But nothing sobers you up quicker than what we saw in there!"

"Mantis, please...what was in there?" Viper asked anxiously.

Mantis looked down, unable to keep eye contact.

"...It was Lao Pi...and Master Bludgeoning Rhino," he said softly.

"They're dead."

* * *

 _No, Tigress was not asking Reidak out on a date, as I'm sure all of you thought. Yes, TigressxReidak (Reigress?) shippers, I am intentionally teasing the crap out of you._

 _Ah, Yin Bei's dialogue, wherein I continuously reference things that Mind Jack has told me will happen in his story, but which he has yet to write. Don't worry guys, I don't have much more insight than you do. But I will tell you this: I've been repeatedly hinting at a possible rematch between Viper and Bei, but I will not be writing it. He will. So that's something to look forward to if you're also following him._

 _...That ending, huh? Sorry to any Lao Pi fans. That particular character has endeared himself to me more and more as the story went on, so it was hard to give him the axe. Sorry to any Bludgeoning Rhino fans too (lol as if). I'm just following the tradition that every named rhino character in Kung Fu Panda exists to die horribly._

 _Things only get crazier from here. You all know what the calm comes before, don't you?_


	30. Chapter 29: The Storm

_This chapter speaks for itself._

* * *

Chapter 29: The Storm

 _21 Hours Earlier_

 _This was it. It HAD to be._

 _Master Golden Gibbon slowly picked the lock on the door, making sure no one was around to see him. As soon as he heard the small 'click' of the door unlocking, he hurried inside, shutting it behind him._

 _Oh yes, this was the rat's den alright. Almost completely pitch black, with only the bare minimum of amenities. This was exactly the kind of room HE would stay in._ _He immediately set to work searching the place, checking under furniture, overturning floorboards, but being careful to leave everything exactly the way he found it. He couldn't risk tipping him off now._

 _He worried that it was too late for that when he heard a sudden knocking on the door. "Hey! I know someone's in there! Open up!" a gruff, angry voice yelled from the other side. Master Bludgeoning Rhino._

 _Gibbon swore to himself. He was so excited to get into the room that he had dropped his guard. Someone must have seen him enter and reported it to Master Rhino._

 _But...was that really the case? After all, he knew exactly whose room this was. Who was to say that everything was as it seemed? He was more inclined to believe that it was not._

 _"This is your last warning, punk! Open up right now or you're in for a world of pain!"_

 _"No, I do not think so, " Gibbon whispered to himself. He leapt up to the ceiling and clung to it easily. Being a simian certainly came in handy sometimes._

 _"Alright, that's it! You've asked for it!"_

 _There was a loud crash as Rhino kicked the door down. Gibbon winced a little. He was really hoping NOT to draw attention to what he was about to do. Oh well, it couldn't be helped._

 _Rhino stormed in, looking around warily. The darkness of the room kept him from noticing anything immediately and he squinted his eyes to look around. It would take at least a few moments for him to even consider checking the ceiling._

 _He did not need a few moments. As soon as Rhino made it to the center of the room, Gibbon let go and landed a kick to his backside. Rhino dropped like a rock under his strength, but before he could hit the floor, Gibbon grabbed him and flipped him over so he landed face-up. He barely had time to react before Gibbon had his wooden cane leveled under his throat. Some people wouldn't find that very threatening, but those people clearly hadn't seen what he could do with this thing._

 _"What the hell?" Rhino growled. "Lao Pi?! What is the meaning of this?!"_

 _"Silence." He pressed the cane even harder. "I've finally got you now...Danzaburo."_

* * *

"This is horrible..."

The Five wasted no time in rushing to the Shushi Inn, though Crane had left them to inform Master Shifu of what happened. They only made a quick stop at the receptionist's desk first to ask what room it was and who owned it. According to her, it was checked out to a rat by the name of Lu Lee.

Needless to say, there was no such rat.

By now, most of the curious onlookers had left, and the rest were quickly scared away by Tigress. But she couldn't maintain that cold composure for long when she saw what was inside the dark room.

She recognized the grey robes and bright fur of Lao Pi-no, Master Golden Gibbon-instantly. Those robes were stained with the simian's blood, centered around his backside. He was facing away from them and lying on top of the other body, that of Master Bludgeoning Rhino. He was also covered in blood, and in an even more gruesome display. It looked as if his throat had been split right open.

"So...what do you think happened?" asked Viper, trembling. They had all seen dead bodies before, but the fact that these were both people they knew made it much more chilling.

Tigress slowly walked over and bent down to examine the bodies. "It looks like Gibbon was run through from behind with some kind of bladed weapon. He fell on top of Rhino, who was then killed immediately afterwards."

"A bladed weapon...like a katana?" asked Monkey.

"Not like it's any mystery who did this," said Mantis. "I mean, just look at this place. Doesn't this seem like exactly the kind of hideout our foreign friend would pick?"

"It does indeed," Tigress admitted, glancing around the room. "Looks like Gibbon made a little too much progress in his investigation, and Danzaburo had to silence him."

Monkey scratched his head. "What about Rhino, though?"

Tigress pointed to the body. "You see the way he's pinned down? I think Gibbon is the one who did that. He must have suspected Rhino to be Danzaburo." She shook her head. "Evidently, he was wrong."

Crane returned at that moment, followed by Master Shifu.

"By the gods..." Shifu brushed past the rest of the Five and looked over the carnage for himself. He didn't need Tigress to recap her conclusions to him; he easily pieced it together himself. "Damn him...what am I supposed to tell His Royal Highness?" He gripped his staff so tightly it threatened to break. "This is my fault. I shouldn't have let you relax after all."

He turned back to face them. "Well no more. It's time I told you what we have uncovered. Viper, Monkey, Mantis, as you are quite aware, you all faced Danzaburo during the intermission of the Trial of Metal."

"You did _what?_ " Tigress whirled around on them. "When were you going to mention this to the rest of us?"

They didn't get to respond before Shifu cut in. "I imagine they did not find it particularity noteworthy at the time, considering he ultimately escaped. And yet it was. For as you know Tigress, you and Crane were forbidden to leave, along with the rest of the competitors."

"They were?" Viper's eyes widened. "But then-"

"That's right. Whoever Danzaburo is, he is no longer a competitor. That is the lead we have to go on." He sighed and shook his head. "I can't say how well that will even serve us though. Just look at what happened here. I...I better go tell the Emperor about this..."

Shifu left the room without so much as a farewell.

"I don't like this," Viper said anxiously. "This is way too reckless for someone like him. What could he be planning?"

"I think he's planning to abort his mission," Tigress realized, clenching her fists. "We've already spooked him before, and now that something like this has happened, he must be panicking. He's going to cut his losses and take off. And if that happens, it's all over. I don't know how we're going to do it, but we need to find him _now._ "

Just then, Crane noticed something else was amiss. "Guys...where's Po?"

* * *

 _"What...what are you talking about, old man?! Have you gone senile?!"_

 _The cane pressed harder still. Gibbon glared viciously at his prey. "I should've realized it before. Back when young Master Viper disappeared, that was YOUR doing, wasn't it? That's why you placed that ban on the competitors, keeping us in the arena so we couldn't go rescue her from your vile little clutches."_

 _"Rhino" was starting to look nervous, though he did a good job of feigning confusion too. "What are you-?"_

 _"You can play dumb all you want, but I know your tricks. Do you have ANY idea how long I've spent searching for you, Danzaburo? How long I have spent trying to hunt you down and bring you to justice?" He chuckled menacingly. "Now that I finally have you, I'm not about to let you go that easily. Now admit it!"_

 _"Very well."_

 _Gibbon jerked upright as something long and cold was thrust into his back. He looked down slowly, seeing the point of the katana emerge from his chest. Coughing up blood, he watched as it landed on both the blade and the shocked Master Rhino. Then he heard the voice, and knew that he had made a fatal mistake. "You've been looking for me? Well here I am. Sayonara."_

 _The blade was roughly yanked out. He remained upright for just a second before his body failed him and he fell. The world went dark and Master Golden Gibbon knew no more._

 _Rhino's eyes widened in terror as the spy approached him next, holding the blood-stained katana. He recognized them instantly._

 _"Y-You?!"_

* * *

"And sometimes, I'm not sure if I'm really cut out for this. You know, being a legendary hero and all. It's a lot of pressure."

Somewhere along the line, the picnic getaway had turned into a therapy session. Po was lying on his back, spilling his heart to Xingfu, who, to her credit, was both sympathetic and surprisingly non-physical. She just sat on the other side of the blanket, a compassionate smile on her face, nodding at whatever he said and occasionally offering kind words of encouragement. It was pretty nice actually.

So why was he getting the weirdest sense of déjà vu?

"Wow, that sounds pretty rough," she said. "What about your Dad? He must take it pretty hard too."

Po laughed. "Actually, not so much. He pretty much brags about me to everyone. I mean, you saw how he named the noodle shop after me, right? I'd almost say that's part of the problem, but I would never blame my Dad for anything."

"You poor thing," Xingfu spread her arms apart. "You want a hug? C'mere."

A hug did sound pretty good right now.

"Wings of Justice!"

Xingfu shrieked as she was suddenly blown away. The fox girl landed upright and looked around in shock, only to be kicked in the side of the head by Tigress She staggered from the blow, and was struck multiple times in succession by Mantis, then catapulted into the air by a kick to the chin from Monkey. Lastly, Viper was thrown after her, wrapping around her torso and throwing her back into the ground hard.

"Holy crap!" Po was freaking out. "Guys, what are you doing?!"

"Saving you, you idiot!" Tigress snapped. "Before you spilled _all_ of your secrets to Danzaburo!"

"Danza..." Po looked over at the fallen Xingfu, groaning in pain. "Come on, you can't be serious." Tigress continued glaring at him.

There was a moment of complete silence, and then...

"YOU MEAN DANZABURO WAS HITTING ON ME?!"

Po looked physically ill as he crouched over on the ground and started gagging.

"You didn't get to first base, did you?" Monkey teased.

"Yeah, I'd hate to have to arrest your new boyfriend," said Mantis.

They both burst out laughing.

Xingfu groaned and tried to get up, but Tigress stepped on her back and kept her down. "You're not going anywhere. Not _this_ time."

Po finally recovered and looked over at them. There was that feeling again. Why was this all so dang familiar to him?

Oh right, now he remembered. This was just like that time Danzaburo impersonated Tigress back at the shop. That was a fun memory. He'd chased him through the streets, onto the rooftops, and then...

"Wait!" Po got to his feet and rushed over to them, shoving Tigress off of the downed fox.

"Po, what the hell are you-?!"

"It's not her!"

"What?!"

"Po, what are you talking about?" asked Viper. "Of _course_ it's her!"

Crane ruffled his wings. "Why else would she be so obsessed with gleaning information off of you?"

"Because she's just kinda creepy like that." Po glanced down at her. "No offense."

"None taken."

"But she can't be Danzaburo! You remember that time we all cornered Fake Tigress? Well he didn't look so fake before. He only got the weird tanuki eyes after I bowled him over with my belly bomb!"

They stared blankly. "...I don't follow," said Mantis.

"You guys just beat the utter crap out of Xingfu, so tell me _this_!" He gestured down to her battered form. "Do you see any tanuki eyes? Do you see a ringed tail? Brown fur? Cause' I sure don't!"

Tigress slapped her forehead. "Po, this is ridiculous! Just because that happened the one time, that doesn't mean it's-"

"Actually..." Viper interupted, rubbing her chin thoughtfully, "...I think it's happened more than once. I saw him in disguise back when we were fighting him. He got blown onto a bunch of his exploding leaves and he lost the disguise instantly." Monkey and Mantis hesitantly nodded in agreement.

"But...but that's-"

"And even when he created that illusionary copy of Viper, it went away as soon as you hit it," Crane added.

"I..."

"Exactly!" Po said. "Don't you see? That must be some kind of weakness in his shapeshifting abilities! He can't stay in disguise if he gets hurt!"

Tigress looked one more time at Xingfu, then back to Po, and snarled furiously. "So _now_ what?! We're just back to square one again?! I can't believe this...is..."

Something clicked for her just then. "Wait...he can't maintain a disguise if he's injured? That can't be right..."

"Huh? Why not?"

"Think about where we are!" Tigress gestured to the Lake of Tears, which still had scraps and remnants of the trial that had been held there. "This is the Wu Xing Tournament, the single most dangerous competition in kung fu history! Getting through this thing without being hurt is nigh-impossible! Not even _Dun_ can boast that anymore!"

Po nodded. "Right, right, so that means...what does that mean?"

"...It means he was _never_ a competitor," Viper gasped. "He's had us chasing our tails this whole time!"

"What?! Aw man, don't tell me he's just some random spectator!"

"I don't think so," said Crane. "He wouldn't be able to get a lot of information just sitting on the sidelines like everyone else."

"Besides, you remember how he messed with us during the Trial of Metal, right?" Monkey asked. "He couldn't have pulled that off unless he had inside knowledge of how the tournament would progress."

Po thought about all of this for a few seconds...and suddenly burst out laughing. "Guys, come on! Do you know what you're saying? The only one who could get that close to the action without being hurt is...is..."

His jaw dropped.

"...Holy crap on a cracker."

* * *

 _"Y-You?!"_

 _Rhino looked up at the figure now looming menacingly above him._

 _"Chaonao?!"_

 _The parrot kept his head down, so that he couldn't even see his eyes. When he spoke, it sounded like the bird's voice, but it was completely monotone, a disturbing contrast to how he usually sounded. "It is against the rules for tournament officials to enter a guest's room without their permission. Don't you know that, Master Rhino? You are the one who makes the rules, after all. Including that one where you banned all competitors from leaving during the intermission. Do you remember that one? I do."_

 _He said all of this without a single "SQUAWK"._

 _Chaonao suddenly lifted his head up and stared right at him. His eyes had changed, and so did his voice. "_ It made things very inconvenient for me."

 _Rhino tried to scream, but he didn't get the chance. The bird thrust the katana down into his throat and his voice died with him._

* * *

Far away from the Shushi Inn, Danzaburo soared through the skies. Things had gotten far too tense for him now. The dark room was no longer a safe hideout. He needed a new one, at least for the short term.

He knew exactly where to go too. The last place his enemies would think to look for him was back at the Pool of Sacred Tears.

Danzaburo touched down and ditched the parrot's form in favor of his own. He started pacing back and forth in frustration. How had things gone so wrong? When he'd killed the obnoxious bird and stolen his identity two days before the start of the tournament, he didn't think this would be anything more than just another routine assignment. Even when he had learned that the Jade Palace was on to him, he didn't think they would pose much of a threat. Indeed, he had outwitted them at every turn.

But they just _would not_ leave him be! Everywhere he looked, one of them was on his tail somewhere! He didn't even bother to infiltrate the Final Ten Feast simply because he didn't want to have to put up with them any longer than he had to. And given his job as the announcer, he had to put up with them a lot. At least he got to make a few jabs at them without blowing his cover. Even if he _did_ slip up on that ridiculous commentary a few times...

The turning point, he realized, was when he had tried to get rid of them during the Trial of Metal. Perhaps he had been responsible for the eliminations of Masters Viper and Tigress, but he had exposed himself in the process. As much as he wanted to blame Rhino for making that damn rule, he knew that he himself was to blame for being so reckless. He was sure the Daimyo would see it that way too.

Even worse, they were starting to gather more allies. He knew the Emperor of China was in league with them, but then that Master Rooster had interfered, and now the cranky simian as well, who had apparently been pursuing him for quite some time. Could someone really have been spying on _him_ for so long? That thought infuriated him more than anything else.

No, he couldn't just leave. Not yet.

His data was incomplete.

His mission...was incomplete.

He would not run away anymore. He would not give them the satisfaction of chasing him off. If these masters wanted a fight, he would give them one. Fortunately, he had already prepared for such a contingency the last time he was here. He didn't even have to go anywhere. They would come right to him.

Turning back into Chaonao, he spread his wings wide and shouted into the sky.

 _"This isn't over yet, folks! Don't go anywhere because the REAL show is about to begin SQUAWK!"_

* * *

 _..._

 _..._

 _PSYCHE!_

 _Okay, I will admit this right up front: Xingfu was designed almost purely to be a red herring for Danzaburo. A red herring that I've been sadistically happy to see multiple people fall for. I may have shifted gears on a few details over the course of this story, but this was not one of them. Danzaburo has ALWAYS been Chaonao, as evidenced by some very early foreshadowing that I will get into in the next chapter. Oh yes, it's not just the shapeshifting weakness. Not by a long shot._

 _One more thing. Grey Alien, I know I've lent Chaonao to you for use in your own story. The supreme irony here is that you're using the real Chaonao and I'm not. But keep that little fact under wraps, okay? ;)_


	31. Chapter 30: The Trial of Earth

_Oh man, the reactions to last chapter were glorious. XD_

 _So let's move on to the fourth trial shall we? The show must go on._

* * *

Chapter 30: The Trial of Earth

The Emperor did not take it well.

The first thing he did was seal himself off in the Training Hall and refuse to come out for the entire night. Not even his own bodyguards were allowed to follow him. For a while, there was nothing but silence coming from the building as the lion mourned his lost friend.

Then the anger set in. If there was any doubt that the Son of Heaven did indeed know kung fu, that doubt was squashed when the loud sounds of breaking equipment and predatory roars rippled across the entire Jade Palace. When he finally emerged from the Training Hall the next morning, they found the place utterly demolished. Not even Tigress had ever done so much damage.

The lion stood in front of them now, panting heavily, his royal robes torn in several places. At least they had been able to tell him everything before the grief hit him or they might well have set him off again. "So...Chaonao...are you certain...?"

Even Shifu was unnerved. "...As certain as we can be, Your Highness. You know how it is with him." He just nodded slowly in response.

"Do you think he'll even be _at_ the fourth trial?" Po asked to no one in particular.

"If he hasn't run away yet, then yes. He's obligated to," Tigress answered. The lion flinched at that. He did _not_ want to hear the possibility that they had already lost their chance.

"In that case...what's the plan?" asked Viper. "It's not like we can just jump him in the middle of the trial."

"Indeed," Shifu said. "If he knows that we know, he'll flee for sure."

"We'll need to plan an ambush then," Tigress decided. "Hit him when he least expects it."

"That might be a problem..."

They turned back to the lion, who looked conflicted on how much more he should say. Given the circumstances, he broke that conflict quickly. "I'm technically not allowed to tell you this, but the fourth trial, the Trial of Earth, will be held at one of the Wu Dan Mountains."

They saw the problem. "A mountain?" Po asked nervously. "I can't even climb stairs!"

"How are we ever going to reach him before he can see us coming?" Tigress growled in frustration.

"Maybe I can help," Crane suggested. "I can attack him in the middle of the trial, try to knock him down to ground level..."

" _Don't you dare!_ " Shifu pointed his staff at him, glaring furiously. "This tournament only comes once every fifty years. He has already sabotaged you before, and I am not about to let him ruin anyone else's chances just because it would be slightly easier!" He looked between Tigress, Viper, Monkey, and Mantis. " _We_ will take care of Danzaburo. You and Po focus on winning this tournament. That is an order!"

Po and Crane bowed, somewhat reluctantly. "...Yes, Master."

* * *

The Wu Dan Mountains were as beautiful as they remembered them. As they should be, given their proximity to the birthplace of kung fu. Though admittedly, the presence of the tournament somewhat took away from their serene majesty.

It was easy to see which particular mountain would be used for the trial. It was completely surrounded by a large ring of stands, all carved out of stone, much to the dismay of those who actually had to sit on them. At the base of the mountain was a set of five tunnels that were clearly not natural. The Chinese character for Earth was carved above them: "土".

"I somehow doubt Master Shifu gave them permission to deface the sacred mountains," Crane said dryly. He and the remaining three competitors stood in front of the mountain, awaiting their next trial.

"Hey, what happened to the old guy?" Kuai asked curiously. "He get lost or something?"

The others stared at him like he was insane. "Are you kidding me?" Crane glared. "Do you seriously not know what happened?"

"Hey, I was out training all night, unlike _some of us_. How should _I_ know?"

"He's dead," Po snapped, surprising even him. "And so is Master Bludgeoning Rhino."

"Really?" Kuai looked surprised for a moment, then turned back to the mountain. "Guess that's one less competitor and one less hardass to worry about, huh?"

At this point, even _Yin_ _Bei_ had to fight down the urge to strangle him. "...Who do you think is going to tell us about the trial then?" she asked, intentionally directing the question away from Kuai.

 _"SQUAWK!"_

 _"_ You had to ask," Crane said, lowering his hat over narrowed eyes.

"Here he comes," Po whispered, trying to remain calm.

Chaonao descended into the arena, just as innocently as ever. Po and Crane steeled themselves to not show any suspicion as he flew down and hovered in front of them.

 _"Hey there, guys! Nice day, huh?"_ He dropped the cheerful demeanor and sighed. " _Oh, who am I kidding? It's not a nice day. As I'm sure you've heard, there was a terrible incident last night at-"_

"They're dead. We know," Kuai said bluntly. Po and Crane almost found it a blessing that he cut the parrot off before they lost their composure.

 _"Wow, you ARE a dick!"_ They doubted he was faking this line. _"Annnnnyway, the point is that Rhino isn't around to give you guys the rundown of this next trial, so I gotta do it instead SQUAWK! Despite being NOT AT ALL trained for this! So here goes nothing:"_

He cleared his throat and pointed to the mountain. _"THAT is your field of battle, which I guess is kinda obvious, but that's what it is! Each of you will enter the mountain through one of those five tunnels at the base SQUAWK! There was supposed to be one for each of you, but now that Lao Pi has been...effectively disqualified, there's now one extra for you to choose from. So hey, silver lining right?"_

It was getting harder and harder to obey Master Shifu's orders.

"So what's in the tunnels?" Kuai asked nonchalantly. "Armed guards? Deathtraps? Armed deathtraps?"

" _Nope! Even better! Inside the tunnels are...(drumroll please)...more tunnels!"_

"...What?"

 _"See, we've decided that your fighting skills have been tested long enough SQUAWK! You've all proven your brawn, and now you're gonna prove your brains. For the Trial of Earth is actually...a maze!"_

Kuai looked a little nervous at this announcement, as did Po. Neither of them were known for being strong critical thinkers. Crane and Bei were less concerned, but still a bit hesitant. "Wait...are you saying this trial is just luck-based?" asked Bei.

 _"Not at all! Really, what kind of mental challenge would aimless wandering through tunnels be? No no no, this maze just so happens to be filled to the brim with PUZZLES! At each intersection of the maze, you will find a puzzle laid out for you SQUAWK! Solving the puzzle will point you in the right direction to take next. Of course, you could always skip the puzzle if you want, but then you had BETTER rely on your luck if you want any chance of winning this thing."_

He pointed up to the top of the mountain now. Squinting their eyes, the competitors could just barely make out a flag standing on its summit. _"That is your goal. The first two competitors to touch that flag will move on to face off in the final trial! The other two...well, better luck next fifty years."_ The parrot grinned and clapped his talons together. _"That about does it. Any questions?"_

Po and Crane fought to keep their mouths shut, knowing they would only say something they would later regret. Just as well, since Chaonao barely waited two seconds before flying away again.

 _Focus on the trial. Focus on the trial._ Po chanted to himself. He knew he was going to need all the focus he could muster if he was going to have any hope of beating an intellectual challenge.

* * *

When the Jade Palace masters and the Emperor sat down with the other spectators, they were noticeably more serious than usual. After much deliberation, they had concocted a plan to take down Danzaburo. Now they just had to wait for the right opportunity to pull it off, which unfortunately meant having to listen to his squawking until then.

"There he is," Shifu noticed quickly.

"So he showed up after all," the Emperor said, his gaze narrowing darkly. The lion had not been himself since morning. They doubted he would be himself again until their mission was complete.

Chaonao ascended high into the air above and made his usual introduction.

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Trial of Earth here at the scenic Wu Dan Mountains! The Earth element emphasizes patience, thoughtfulness, and stability, which our Final Four will need in spades as they fight to stay in the game! They'll have to keep calm under pressure to solve a series of puzzles and make their way through this mountain maze SQUAWK! Our competitors may be tough, but do they have the smarts to handle something like this? Based on my prior observations, I sincerely doubt it!"_

Tigress growled. "Why that cheeky-"

 _"The top of the mountain is their goal! It's one steep climb, so they should be thankful they get to take the easy route through the tunnels SQUAWK! Now I know what you're all thinking: 'But Chaonao, we can't see inside a mountain! Are we getting ripped off here?' Not to worry, folks! On the exterior of the mountain, we have built in small pipes that look directly into the puzzle areas, so I'll still be able to provide coverage as usual! I wouldn't still have this job if I wasn't good at thinking ahead SQUAWK!"_

"Wow..." Mantis said, stunned. "He...hasn't been this obvious the whole time, right?"

"I hope not," Monkey groaned, slapping his forehead. "Or else I'd feel really dumb."

Chaonao's voice became more subdued now, and he spoke more quietly. _"Now...before we begin...I'm sure you've all heard about the tragedy that took place at the Shushi Inn after the last trial. I would like to take a moment of silence for our lost masters, Lao Pi and Bludgeoning Rhino. May they rest in peace."_

Everyone went silent, but not everyone did so peacefully. Neither Shifu, the Five, nor anyone else in China had ever seen their Emperor so angry before. The lion was keeping himself barely-restrained, baring his teeth and trembling in rage. Shifu put a reassuring paw on his shoulder, and he calmed down, at least enough for him to properly mourn the deceased. He would never forgive himself if he missed an opportunity to honor his old master.

Once the moment of silence had passed, all bets were off. The roar of the crowd drowned out what the Emperor said next, which was good because he was not being very diplomatic.

"That _bastard!"_ he snarled. "He actually has the audacity to do something like this?!" Shifu tried to calm him again, but to no avail. The Five didn't even bother trying. "Do you know what the worst part is?! He's not even doing it to upset us! He's doing it simply because it's what Chaonao would do! That's how _little_ their lives meant to him!"

His assessment proved accurate, as Chaonao snapped back to his normal tone almost instantly. _"Now let's not keep everyone waiting any longer! It's time to get this show on the road SQUAWK!"_

"Master Golden Gibbon...Master Bludgeoning Rhino...the real Chaonao...all of them killed by that monster just to keep up his damn act!"

"Don't worry, Your Highness," Shifu assured him. "He's not going to get away with this. We _will_ capture him."

"No." His voice became calmer, but much more threatening. "The plan has changed. Here are your new orders..."

He glared up at the spy hatefully.

" _Kill him._ "

* * *

The remaining four competitors steeled themselves for the start of the trial.

Po glanced up into the stands, where he saw not only his friends, but his Dad and Xingfu once again sharing a booth. Thankfully, the fox seemed to have forgiven the Five for the misguided beatdown and was back to her perky, overly-affectionate self. Meanwhile, Mr. Ping was eagerly passing out noodle shop coupons to everyone around him.

Crane saw Mei Ling and De Lu both smiling down at him, the former shooting him a thumbs-up and the latter nodding in mutual respect. Their encouragements weren't as loud as Po's, but were no less genuine. Kuai, catching sight of this, growled quietly to himself.

Yin Bei waved meekly to Master Rooster, who would most likely _not_ flip out this time due to the lack of physical violence and not actually being able to see anything. Still, the faster she got out of hearing range, the better. She shot Viper a confident grin, then prepared for the run of her life.

 _"Now...let the Trial of Earth...BEGIN!"_

* * *

 _A big thanks once again to Mind Jack for helping me think up an idea for this trial. I had a plan for every other trial from the beginning, but Earth kinda stumped me for some reason._

 _Yes Mantis, he's been this obvious the whole time. The most fun part about this chapter was writing Chaonao exactly as I've written him in every other trial, except now his usual quirks suddenly look a lot more suspicious. That running gag of him stumbling over his own words? That's Danzaburo struggling to stay in character. All those references to his "job"? He's talking about both jobs. The guy being just plain BAD at coming up with commentary? Well of course he is, it's his first time doing it. Supposedly being clueless about kung fu, yet occasionally describing a technique or strategy in precise detail? You get the picture._ _Chaonao's commentary itself is the biggest foreshadowing that he's not who he claims to be._

 _Here's some other hints sprinkled throughout the story:_

 _\- Whether in his dialogue or his own thoughts, Danzaburo never ONCE calls himself a competitor. He always uses vague terms like "participant" or "someone in this arena", that are still technically accurate._

 _\- Chaonao nearly gets hit by stray attacks at a few points, but never actually does because that would ruin his disguise. In Chapter 7, he warns Crane and the other fighting avians not to get him involved for precisely this reason._

 _\- In Chapter 12, Zhi Ming's aura of negativity causes Danzaburo to completely break character for two whole paragraphs._

 _\- In Chapter 13, it's mentioned that Chaonao gets hit by Lao Pi's tidal wave. In the next chapter, Danzaburo complains about getting wet and implies that he wasn't entirely expecting it._

 _\- The beginning of Chapter 16 is meant to falsely imply that Danzaburo attended the Final Ten Feast, again without explicitly saying so. In actuality, he left before it even began._ _Also, the line, "He was so adept at flight that he could look indistinguishable from an actual bird, and that worked to his advantage."_

 _\- The entirety of the Po vs. De Lu fight. Danzaburo is shown to be very interested in observing this match in particular, which is why Chaonao starts completely losing his shit when Po keeps dragging it out._

 _\- Lastly, a recurring theme in the story is that making assumptions is bad. Indeed, this entire subplot was written to play against the assumptions of both the characters and the reader._

 _And that's all I can remember off-hand. Sorry if I just blew your minds for the second chapter in a row._


	32. Chapter 31: The Puzzles of Wu Dan

_Scratch what I said last time. THOSE reactions were glorious! Nothing like a little hindsight to make you feel dumb. You know, in a good way._

 _So I was asked recently if I was going to finish this story by Christmas. Well, as you can probably guess, that's not gonna happen I'm afraid. My actual goal is to finish it by KFP3. Not so sure that's going to happen either, but it's something to shoot for at least._

 _On to the trial._

* * *

Chapter 31: The Puzzles of Wu Dan

As soon as the signal was sounded, the Final Four sprang into action, Po, Crane, Kuai, and Yin Bei each choosing one tunnel and disappearing into the darkness.

Po was the last to make it in, knowing full well that the other competitors were all faster than him. Combined with his comparative lack of smarts, he knew he was in real trouble with this trial. He was gonna need to put on one heck of a thinking cap to get through these puzzles.

Not at all looking forward to doing this, it was only natural that the tunnel soon opened up again and he found his first puzzle.

He was in a small room, lit by a pair of torches. He saw three more tunnels in front of him, only one of which would lead him to victory. He just hoped the other two didn't lead to deathtraps. Chaonao never brought it up, and certain revelations made that a bit disconcerting. In any case, there was no way he was going to leave this up to chance, especially given how terrible his luck was. He had to solve the puzzle.

The puzzle didn't seem particularly hard at first. In the center of the room was a stone podium, with a square indentation made into its top. A series of stone tiles were arrayed in this indentation, able to be slid around, but not removed. The tiles were all marked with strange scribbles, and as Po looked closer, he could tell that these scribbles looked an awful lot like pieces of a giant Chinese character, except completely out of order.

 _"And the Dragon Warrior FINALLY makes it to his first puzzle! Let's hope his mind is faster than his feet SQUAWK!"_

It was then that Po remembered the pipes looking into each room.

He took a deep breath, trying to ignore both the parrot and the growing pressure to succeed. "Alright...this isn't so bad. I can figure this out. Dragons are supposed to be like, super smart, right? So logically, the Dragon Warrior should be at _least_ smart enough to handle something like this."

Po reached down and slid a tile to the left, then another up into it's spot, one more to the right, another up, two to the left, and now he was left with...an entirely different, but still nonsensical picture.

"Or maybe it's just a cool title after all. Augh!"

* * *

Crane was in the middle of a puzzle of his own, though his was quite different. He was in a circular room with three other exits and a whole lot of statues. The statues depicted people of various class and species, but they all had one thing in common; each statue was pointing across the room to another. None of them happened to be pointing at one of the tunnels, which was the first thing he checked. "Guess it can't be _too_ easy..."

Then he noticed a stone slate embedded into the center of the room, fine writing carved into its surface.

"Intervene between enemies to find the truth," he read. "Where do they come up with this stuff?"

 _"Master Crane appears to be solving the famous statue puzzle, one of several puzzles to be put into this tournament by request of Grandmaster Oogway many centuries ago!"_

"That would explain it." But Crane had certainly known the old tortoise long enough to be familiar with his unusual manner of thinking. He should have the experience to solve this.

He reread the clue once more. The word "enemies" stuck out to him. It was clearly referring to a particular pair of statues, but which pair could be considered enemies? Peasants and nobles perhaps? Or was it going more ancestral and talking about natural enemies? Predator and prey? Heck, maybe even male and female, though he doubted Master Oogway would have endorsed such views.

 _"The puzzle seems to have stumped Master Crane SQUAWK! He just doesn't seem to get the 'point'! Can he figure it out, or does he need a few 'pointers' in the right direction?"_

"I could figure it out if you'd shut up for five seconds," he muttered.

Still, the parrot did give him an idea. He focused now on not the statues themselves, but what they were pointing at. He still wasn't having much luck though. The pairings were completely inconsistent. There was a boar peasant pointing at a vixen noble, understandable enough, but then the vixen was pointing towards a grungy-looking wolf. _Okaaaay...unless this is telling some kind of awkward love story, I'm not getting it._

The wolf pointed to a rabbit chef, the rabbit to a cobra general, the cobra to another fox, this one a peasant, the fox to an elderly goat healer, the goat to a noble bear, the bear...back at the goat?

He looked again, but his eyes weren't deceiving him. The goat and bear statues were indeed pointing right at each other, and they were the only pair to do so. Could this be the answer? Odd, he would never think that two creatures of such different species, class, age and occupation could possibly be enemies.

"Then again, I guess anyone can be enemies." Indeed, it wasn't every day that a crane picked a fight with a cheetah. Or with a tanuki for that matter.

He thought over the rest of the clue. "So to 'intervene' between these two would be to come between them...and between them is..." He looked down and saw that the two statues stood parallel to one of the other tunnels. "...the truth."

Wasting no time to second-guess himself, Crane extended his wings and took off down the tunnel.

 _"Master Crane has solved his puzzle! You make your fellow avians proud, buddy! Er...not that I'm biased or anything, it's just...so anyway! Let's look in on our favorite bunny SQUAWK!"_

* * *

"I am not a bunny," Yin Bei grumbled.

The snow hare was faced with the most bizarre puzzle yet. The room she was in appeared to be some sort of underground pond, surrounded by three more tunnels. That itself wasn't unusual. What caught her eye was the fully grown peach tree hanging above it.

 _"Ah yes, the indigenous underground peach trees of the Wu Dan Mountains! What, you've never heard of them? Come on, it's common knowledge SQUAWK! You see, these things grow in when...okay, honestly? I have no idea how they did this either. Just roll with it!"_

Maybe she could "roll with it" a littler easier if she had any idea what she was doing. How was this even considered a puzzle? It was just a tree and a pond, neither of which so much as hinted at any direction. There were a few peaches in the tree though. Maybe those could help.

She first tried counting the peaches. There were seven of them. Considering there were only three options, that was hardly useful.

Figuring that the water must serve some purpose, Bei went up to the edge and peered into it.

It was water.

She frowned. Her advanced perceptive abilities were proving nigh-useless right now. She couldn't even see anything below the surface. A quick hop into the stuff confirmed that there was nothing to be found on the bottom either.

 _"Are you sure this is a good time for a bath, Master Silent Hare? You know the old story about the hare who decided to slack off in the middle of a race? Yeah, didn't end well for him!"_

Soaking wet and increasingly annoyed, Yin Bei climbed back out of the water. After taking a moment to shake some of the water out of her fur, she glanced back at the pond, seeing the last ripples of her departure fade away.

 _Hmmm...well, it's not like I have any better ideas._

Bei performed a flying kick at the tree. The impact shook the branches and caused a single peach to fall.

 _"Master Silent Hare has decided to use the peaches as her guide! A good guess! Now let's see the 'fruit' of her efforts!"_

She watched closely as the peach hit the water and created more ripples, looking for some kind of hint or pattern that would point her in the right direction.

There was none.

 _"It was a good guess, but not a correct one SQUAWK!"_

Growling in frustration, Bei threw her arms in the air and sat down, putting her head in her paws and her feet in the water. This was getting her nowhere. She wasn't sure what kind of puzzles the other competitors were getting, but surely they couldn't be as cryptic as this. There _was_ one more thing she could try, but it was far too risky, and she wasn't sure it would even help anyway.

At least the scenery was nice, and the water felt kind of refreshing too. There was even a pleasant current running over her feet.

 _...Current?_

Bei pulled her feet out of the water and looked into it again. Even after the water completely settled, she could see no sign of a current, not even with her abilities. She stuck a paw in and felt it again. Focusing on the sensation, she noticed that it seemed to be running in a rightward direction...directly towards one of the tunnels. _It can't seriously be this simple, right?_

Nevertheless, Bei grinned and sped down the tunnel.

 _"Wow, look at her go! Well actually, you can't, can you?"_

* * *

Po reached up and wiped a bead of sweat from his brow. Man, who knew solving puzzles could be so intense? He was totally in the zone right now!

Sliding one final tile up and to the right, Po smiled as he finally had a completed character in front of him. "Yes! Take that, tiles! It looks like the answer is...dumpling?"

Po scratched his head as he looked down at the puzzle. "I mean...that's a good answer, but I don't see how it helps me. Oh wait, that line is crooked. It doesn't say dumpling. It says...absolutely nothing again."

His head plopped down into the center of the tiles.

* * *

 _"It appears the legendary hero continues to be thwarted by immobile stone tiles! In the meantime, let's check up on Master Spotted Blur!"_

Kuai quirked his head at the abomination in front of him.

There were three exits, and three statues. But unlike the ones Crane faced in another room, these ones talked.

"Greetings competitor," said the statue on the left. "The path you seek is in the center. The central statue's statements are both false."

"The path on the left is the correct one," said the center statue. "The right statue's first statement is true."

"We speak one lie and one truth each." said the right statue. "The path on the right is correct."

Kuai's jaw hung open as he tried to process this. "Uhhhhh..."

 _"Okay, so it's not the most original puzzle in the world, but you can't deny it's a classic SQUAWK! I can't imagine Spotted Blur getting through this one very quickly, so let's get back to-wait, what is he doing?"_

Kuai vanished down the leftmost tunnel. Using Fleetfoot, it only took him a few seconds to hit a dead end and return to the statue room. "Not that one." He went down the rightmost tunnel, and returned shortly thereafter. "Nope. Center path it is." He smirked and headed through the center tunnel, bypassing the entire puzzle in about ten seconds.

 _"...Unbelievable. Only THIS guy could find a way to brute force a mental challenge! I knew we should've put deathtraps in the other tunnels, but no one listened! Truly there is no justice in the world. "_

* * *

"Huh. Maybe Kuai's not so bad if he can piss off Danzaburo," said Mantis.

"Or maybe Danzaburo's not so bad if even he can't stand Kuai," Monkey countered.

" _I_ can't stand to listen to him anymore," growled the Emperor. The lion was seemingly oblivious to the uncomfortable glances he was getting from his allies. Neither Shifu nor the Five were content with what he wanted them to do. They were no strangers to killing, but they did it only as a last resort, not as cold-blooded execution. But contesting an order from the Emperor of China, especially in the mood he was in, would not be a good idea. They just hoped that by the time they subdued Danzaburo, he would calm down enough to change his mind.

Which led to the next problem. "He's still not high enough," Viper hissed, watching the parrot's movements carefully.

"He will be soon," said Tigress. "Just be patient."

But with the Emperor's current state of mind, they weren't sure just how patient they could be.

* * *

"Come on, you got this. You got this! This puzzle is making fun of you. Are you gonna put up with that? No way! These tiles may be inanimate, but they're still gonna feel the thunder! YAAAAAAH!"

Steeling himself for the continuing battle of intellectual might, Po slid one tile to another, having only half an idea what he was doing, but doing it with passion.

 _"The Dragon Warrior continues to show his immense willpower...among other things. But can loud shouting and exaggerated movements really help him to-holy crap, he did it!"_

"...I did?" Po opened his eyes and glanced down at the completed puzzle. "I did! WOOHOO!" He did a small victory dance, before remembering to actually read the clue. "Let's see...'right'. Got it!"

To be fair, "dumpling" would have still been an appropriate answer. Dumplings were always right after all.

Po took off down the rightmost tunnel, still celebrating. "Yeah! I am totally rocking this trial! Bring it on, puzzles!"

 _"...I don't have the heart to tell him SQUAWK!"_

* * *

 _And this is why I needed assistance with this trial. Action challenges I can do. Puzzles? Not my thing._

 _For anyone curious, the character for "right" that Po found in his puzzle looks like this: 对_ _  
_

 _The character for "dumpling" looks like this:_ _饺_

 _I'm surprised how close they actually are for something I completely made up._

 _Kuai's puzzle is indeed solvable (correctly), but that explanation would take WAY too long for this section._


	33. Chapter 32: Puzzles Galore

_Wow, when I said I was bad at coming up with puzzles, I didn't expect everyone to start giving me ideas. Thanks a bunch! But I have all I need now. This trial is actually going to be a bit shorter than the others, especially compared to the last one._

* * *

Chapter 32: Puzzles Galore

 _"Master Crane has made it to his next puzzle SQUAWK!"_

Crane looked down on the puzzle that awaited him, both literally and figuratively.

There was a small metal bowl lying on the ground in front of him. There wasn't anything special about it, as Crane quickly found out when he picked it up in his talons and looked it over. Sitting next to the bowl was an equally unremarkable jug of water. Silently, Crane picked up the jug and poured its contents into the bowl. "Wow, nice puzzle."

 _"Oh really, smart guy? Well then, which direction do you go?"_

Crane glanced up at the three other tunnels before him, then back down at the completely nondescript bowl of water. "Touché."

He started looking around the room for anything else of value. Aside from the three tunnels, there were only a few torches to light up the room and an inscription on the wall. "The answer is the opposite of what you see."

Great. Another cryptic riddle, this one even less descriptive than the last. The opposite of what? The water? Would that be fire then?

Looking back at the torches, he noticed that one had been placed next to every tunnel, probably just to crush that theory instantly. He went back to the water again, seeing nothing in it that indicated a direction. And yet, staring into the surface, he couldn't help but feel that this bowl could indeed provide the answer. But how?

Crane closed his eyes as he suddenly remembered something from long ago. It was a class he had taken at the academy. Not Lee Da; it was long before that. He must've been just a chick at the time. He remembered the instructor talking about survival tips for if you ever found yourself lost in the wilderness. He also remembered completely disregarding the lesson at the time. After all, he could fly. Yet he had still found it intriguing. With only a few common objects and some fire, you could create...

"A compass!" he said to himself, his eyes lighting up.

 _"Hey, looks like someone wasn't sleeping through their lessons after all! Good thing you're such a birdbrain, and I mean that as a compliment SQUAWK!"_

Yes, this simple bowl of water could indeed be used to create a compass. But not just that. He would also need a piece of iron, but where could he get...?

He looked down at the metal bowl again. The metal _iron_ bowl.

Feeling a surge of confidence, Crane carefully bashed the rim of the bowl against the wall until a piece snapped off, not an easy task with a metal as tough as iron, but at least it was thin enough to break at all. The next step was to heat the iron until it was red hot. Now he saw the true purpose of all the torches in this room. He held the iron in the torch, using his talons to keep his skin from touching it. Once it was heated, Crane gently plopped the iron into the bowl.

The metal just floated there for a few seconds, then suddenly shifted so that the larger end pointed directly behind him, to the south. The compass was a success! Now he just had to factor in the clue. If the compass was pointing south, than the opposite would be north.

Directly north of where he entered the room, there was a tunnel.

"Thank you, Professor Xie!" Crane hurried down the tunnel, knowing the other competitors had to be right on his tail, if not ahead of him already.

 _"Remember kids, building a compass can be dangerous! Don't try this at home! But since I know you'll ignore me and do it anyway, remember to stop, drop, and roll SQUAWK!"_

* * *

Yin Bei stared quizzically at her next puzzle. Much like Crane's, it seemed very simple at first.

The room was lit by only a single lantern hanging on the wall. There were a series of six torches lined up by the other tunnels, but none of them were lit. Next to the lantern hung a large stick. There was nothing else in the room, not even a clue.

So Bei did the natural thing and started lighting the torches. To her surprise, she only got two of them lit before they both abruptly went out. "What the-?!"

 _"Master Silent Hare has reached the puzzle of vanishing flames! To reiterate, real fire will NOT do that! Stop, drop, and roll!"_

Immensely confused, and wondering just what the heck was wrong with this mountain, Bei tried it again, this time lighting a different torch first. This time she made even less progress as it went out instantly.

She understood now. Somehow, these torches had to be lit in a certain order, or else they would all go out and make her start over. This was a simple puzzle indeed, but it had the potential to waste a lot of time, time she did not have after spending so long in that last room. There wasn't even any kind of hint as to what the correct order was. It was pure trial and error.

At least to most people.

Bei smiled. Thankfully, she was not most people.

The hare focused her attention on the six unlit torches, using her abilities to see every detail. Even in the partially-darkened room, she could see the shine of the metal frames, the tiniest cracks in the wooden surfaces, and the scorch marks from each and every time they had been lit. That alone wasn't particularly helpful, until she noticed the very slight differences between them.

All of the torches had scorch marks yes, but some were more scorched than others. Whatever bizarre mechanism made this puzzle function must have been tested over and over again to make sure it worked properly. If that were the case, the torches that were more scorched would be the ones that were lit longer, with the most scorched being the first in the sequence. She saw a brief vision of what must have been one of the tournament workers, watching as they lit every torch in a specific order.

Bei took the stick and lit the six torches in the exact same order. They all stayed lit. She took the tunnel that bordered the last in the sequence.

* * *

 _"Wow! It only took her three tries SQUAWK! I'm telling ya, it has to be those lucky feet! Speaking of which, let's check in on Master Spotted Blur and see just how much of this trial he's managed to ruin!"_

From outside the mountain, Chaonao flew slightly higher and started checking the pipes for any sign of the cheetah. He soon found him, repeating his "strategy" on another puzzle.

 _"Awww, he's skipping the one where you have to get a key from a vat of tar and then open a lock in a tub of feathers! That was my favorite!"_

There was a loud, resounding *THUMP* that echoed through the tunnels.

 _"...And THAT was the sound of Spotted Blur failing to stop in time! I'd say he'll be out for at least ten minutes or so, which will give the other competitors a chance to pull ahead! There's hope for this trial after all SQUAWK!"_

* * *

Po hunched over and panted as he reached his next puzzle. They _really_ needed to make these tunnels shorter.

As he straightened up, he gasped at the fiendish puzzle he was faced with. In front of him was his greatest enemy. No, not stairs, so maybe it was more like his second-greatest. In any case, he found himself face to face with the Adversary.

Po shuddered, repressing a flashback of his very first day at the Jade Palace. This deceptively harmless training dummy had given him the most humiliating defeat he had ever suffered. And now he would have to confront it again.

"So...my old nemesis...we meet again on the field of battle." Po got into his stance and glared at the Adversary. "You bested me before, but I have grown much stronger since then. Now I'm gonna show you the true meaning of Panda Style!" Po threw a hard punch at the dummy.

It absorbed the blow, then bounced back and smacked Po in the face. "Owww! Why did I have to grow so much stronger?" Po cried, clutching his cheek. "Oh, you're really gonna get it this time!" He threw a kick, making the dummy fly back, then strike him between his spread legs. "My tenders!"

 _"Hahahahaha! Man, I'm sorry you guys can't see this right now!"_

Po wasn't sure how much more he could take, but he couldn't give up. No opponent was insurmountable, not even this one. And so he kept attacking the Adversary again and again, getting himself injured again and again. Most people would have given up by now, or at least learned to move out of the way, but Po had grown very adept at the art of getting knocked down, and so he could do this all day if he had to.

Eventually, he noticed that the dummy was gradually shifting in its position. Thinking that it was somehow fleeing from him, this encouraged him to attack it, and be attacked, even more. Soon enough, the Adversary was sitting right in front of one of the tunnels, and it suddenly spun around by itself to look down it.

"Woah, that's not normal." Po tapped the dummy uneasily. It bobbed ever so slightly back and stung his finger. "Ow!" He put the digit in his mouth and sucked on it. In response, the dummy moved about an inch down the tunnel. "Wait, I get it now! When I get hurt, you move towards the right direction. So now I just have to..."

He trailed off when he realized the dummy was already pointing him the right way. "Oh...sweet! Thanks, buddy! I guess you're not so bad after all!" Po gave the Adversary a high-five, then ran down the tunnel before it could return it.

 _"Huh. I don't think anyone else could have solved this one as quickly as he did! The Dragon Warrior just made up a lot of ground SQUAWK!"_

* * *

Crane was starting to wonder how much longer this trial would take when he reached the next room. If the other puzzles were confusing, this one was just plain unreasonable. There was nothing in this room aside from a pair of tunnels. Nothing at all.

He scratched his head with his talons. Where does one even begin with something like this? There were only two choices this time, so was he just supposed to guess?

"Crane!"

The bird jumped and spun around to see a familiar face grinning at him. "M-Mei Ling? How did _you_ get in here?"

The Asian golden cat just smiled at him some more. "You should know by now how sneaky I can be. I thought you could use some help."

Crane gulped, looking around nervously. "Well, you really shouldn't. If someone sees you in here, I could get disqualified for cheating."

 _"Hey, I'm no snitch! ...Oops."_

"...Like I said, you should really leave this to me."

"Oh really?" She got close to him, uncomfortably close. "So I guess you _don't_ want to know the way to the summit, do you?"

"You mean you know?"

"Like I said, sneaky."

Crane hesitated for a moment, then shook his head. "I'm sorry Mei Ling, but I can't accept your help. It wouldn't be honorable."

"Screw honor, you shouldn't follow her because she's wrong." Crane jumped again at the sound of yet another voice.

"Kuai?!"

The cheetah leaned casually against the wall. "Yep. And I'm afraid my dear master doesn't know squat. The tunnel you want to take is this one." He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder, down the tunnel on the left.

Mei Ling frowned. "What are you talking about, Kuai? The correct path is clearly on the right!"

"As if! I think I know my directions, thank you very much! It's left!"

"Clearly you don't, or you wouldn't be making such ridiculous claims! It's right!"

"Left!"

"Right!"

Crane watched, utterly baffled, as the two felines continued to argue.

 _Just what the hell is going on here?_

* * *

Bei knew she had reached the next puzzle room not by sight, but by sound.

As she stepped into the chamber, there was a sudden, loud rumbling from above. Looking up, the snow hare gasped as she saw the entire ceiling starting to come down.

 _"Oh yeah, we DO have some deadly puzzles, don't we? I was almost starting to worry this trial wasn't interesting enough SQUAWK!"_

If Bei wasn't in a hurry before, she sure was now. Looking frantically around the room, she saw three more tunnels as per usual. But there was no indicator as to which one was correct, and she didn't have much time to make a decision before she would be flattened. Panicked, she looked up at the descending ceiling and focused her attention again, trying to pick out any details that would help her.

She saw, in great detail, every little ridge and crack that made up this deathtrap, but nothing to help her escape it.

The ceiling was getting dangerously close now. She only had a few more seconds left. Biting her lip, Bei leapt and rolled through the middle tunnel before the ceiling could reach her.

She panted, trying to get her heart rate back to a healthy level. That was _way_ too close. Now the only question was if she had made a wise decision.

Getting back to her feet, Bei moved onward down the tunnel, almost immediately coming to a dead end.

"No..." she gasped, running back to where she entered. The ceiling had come all the way down now, trapping her in this tunnel.

 _"You chose...poorly. Welp, looks like Master Silent Hare is going to be taking a bit of a time out now! That ceiling ain't coming back up again for about five minutes! So enjoy your stay SQUAWK!"_

Bei yelled in frustration and slammed her fists against the wall. And she was doing so well too...

* * *

"Okay, this is all kinds of trippy."

Po found himself in a room that didn't appear to have any exit to choose from whatsoever. All that was in here was mirrors. A _lot_ of mirrors. Po was now having a staring contest with many identical copies of himself.

Knowing there had to be a path in here somewhere, Po cautiously took one step forward, then another, and another. The fourth step made him walk right into a mirror, bruising his nose. "Ugh, why do all of these puzzles suddenly want to hurt me?"

Sighing in resignation, Po began another painful puzzle-solving experience as he stumbled his way through the hall of mirrors.

* * *

Crane looked back and forth between Mei Ling and Kuai, who still hadn't stopped arguing. Sooner or later, he remembered he had a trial to complete, which again raised the question of what these two were doing here. They couldn't possibly be real. Mei Ling _might_ have been able to sneak in here, but there was no way Kuai would sabotage his own chances of victory just to help out someone he hated.

"They have to be some kind of illusions," he said to himself. "But what for?"

 _"Of course they're illusions, you idiot! Some of the shoddiest illusions I've ever seen! I bet you could pass right through those...er, SQUAWK!"_

Well at least that eliminated the possibility of Danzaburo being behind this. So they must be a part of the trial. It was clear that he was supposed to follow one of them, but which one? He was _very_ tempted to side with Mei Ling here, but these puzzles hadn't been very generous so far, and he somehow doubted it would be that easy.

He sighed. "...Lead the way, Kuai."

The cheetah grinned and spun on his heel to head down the tunnel. "How could you, Crane? I thought we had something special," said Mei Ling, on the verge of tears.

No, this wasn't her, and he firmly reminded himself of that fact.

This didn't stop him from feeling absolutely horrible as he left her behind.

* * *

After a period of time that felt _way_ longer than five minutes, the ceiling rose back up again and allowed Bei to exit.

Only to immediately start descending again of course.

Bei was abruptly thrust back into the same tense decision she had to make the first time. The fact that one option had been eliminated did not make it easier. Sure, she had a better chance of guessing correctly this time. On the other hand, she couldn't afford another mistake. If she wasted any more time, there was no doubt in her mind that she would lose.

She had no choice. She had come too far to risk defeat over a 50/50 chance. She had to use it; the secret technique that even Viper had never seen before.

Yin Bei took a deep calming breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they were suddenly glowing white.

 _"AHHHHH! Holy crap, she's possessed! Why are there demons in this mountain?! No one tells me anything SQUAWK!"_

The hare glared up at the falling ceiling. This time _nothing_ was going to escape her gaze.

She analyzed every inch of the ceiling in an instant, and then the entire rest of the room. She grinned victoriously, now knowing exactly what to do.

Suddenly, she screamed and dropped to the floor, clutching her head. This particular technique gave her even more astounding abilities of perception, to a borderline divine level. but at the cost of being much harder to control. Right now, it felt like someone was driving a battle axe into her skull and that her eyes would fall right out of their sockets at any moment.

She was in such immense pain that she barely even noticed the ceiling come down on top of her.

Not until she suddenly found herself on top of _it._ For as she had discovered, this "ceiling" was actually just an elaborate grid of false panels arranged in the shape of a box. It resembled a stone surface so authentically that even she couldn't tell it was a fake from below. She weakly titled her head upward, towards the other thing she had seen. High above her was a fourth tunnel, the real exit.

 _"Wow! Even I didn't know about that SQUAWK! Not gonna lie, I'm kind of impressed."_

For a second, she was worried that she couldn't possibly jump all the way up there with the condition she was in now. She thankfully didn't need to as the false ceiling began to rise back up again on its own, apparently detecting her weight on top of it. Once it reached the top of the chamber, Bei only had to make a small jump to make it through, then shambled into the tunnel and immediately collapsed.

No, she couldn't rest now. She had to keep going.

Brushing a paw in front of her face, Bei stood back up and trudged slowly down the tunnel. Looking back down at her paw, she only paused momentarily when she noticed that her eyes were bleeding.

* * *

As was often the case, Po found an unconventional solution to his problem.

After running into one mirror particularly hard, the panda's thick skull had cracked the glass. Realizing that this made things a heck of a lot easier to see, Po promptly started breaking every mirror in sight.

 _"Come on, not another one that solves puzzles with force! Do you have any idea how many years of bad luck you're racking up right now?!"_

As far as Po was concerned, his luck was terrible already. What did he have to lose? But as he continued to smash mirrors, he noticed the parrot starting to behave...strangely.

 _"S-Seriously, cut it out! I can have you disqualified for this, you know! I mean it SQUAWK!"_

 _Yeah, after all the blatant cheating that's been going on this tournament, I'm supposed to believe THAT?_ Po outright shattered the next mirror just to make a point.

 _"Look, you just have to watch the ground, okay? That's how you solve it! Isn't that so much easier than wearing yourself out like this?"_

Easier maybe, but not nearly as fun. As Po broke another mirror though, he suddenly caught a glimpse of something through the crack he had made. Curious, he punched this one again, knocking the frame right out of it. He bent down to take a closer look at what he had uncovered.

"What in the world...?"

* * *

Crane begrudgingly followed the Kuai doppelganger down hallway after hallway, through tunnel after tunnel. He would've preferred a silent journey, but of course, this being an illusion of Kuai, it did not shut up.

"Come on, keep up! Even the slowest land animals could outpace you."

"Bet you wish you could fly down here, huh? You must be feeling pretty claustrophobic right about now."

"Hey, is that a hat, or is there a rice field growing out of your head?"

It was getting increasingly difficult not to attack the thing. He only didn't because he was pretty sure that would get him very lost, very fast. Nonetheless, it did at least seem to know where it was going.

Or so he thought up until they reached a dead end.

"H-Hey! What is this? What's going on?"

The doppelganger looked back at him, giving him that same, unbearable smirk he had so come to despise. "What's going on is you just got played, fool!" It vanished on the spot.

Crane stared blankly at the wall for a few moments, then dropped to one knee, shaking his head.

* * *

"Almost...there..."

Yin Bei continued further and further down the corridor. She knew she was really pushing her luck after exerting herself like that, but there was no way she was going to let this all be for nothing. She could rest all she wanted at the inn later, preferably with a one million yuan prize in the near future.

Her usual advanced perception had dulled greatly, and she barely even noticed the other four tunnels that she passed. These ones opened behind her, not in front of her, which told her that this was where all the competitors would intersect. That could be a problem. If she had to fight someone else to reach the summit, she wouldn't have a chance in this state.

But it seemed that would not be necessary. As she felt a sudden wind upon her face and light in her eyes, she knew she had made it.

If she had vertigo, she would have freaked out at the sight of all the spectators far, far, below. She doubted any of them even noticed her yet. But they would soon, for just a few feet away was the flag that would signal her victory. Filled with renewed energy, Bei reached out to touch it.

Evidently, her senses had not recovered enough just yet, as she never saw the attack coming.

Bei was kicked roughly in the back and sent sprawling across the summit. For a moment, she feared she would fly right over the edge, but she managed to catch herself with her ears on the cliffside. Then she knew that she had been noticed as several horrified gasps rose up from below.

"Sorry little bunny, but I couldn't chance anyone else making it here first." Kuai grinned in triumph and placed his paw onto the flag. "Care to join me?"

Bei looked up at him, confused. "You... _want_ me to touch it?"

"Of course!" he laughed. "If the two of us win this trial, then the Jade Palace will be knocked completely out of the running. And _that_ is just fine by me!" He walked over to the edge and extended his paw down to help her up. "Come on. Let's take this showdown to the final trial."

Bei hesitated. On the one hand, she had earned this victory fair and square, and had a perfectly just motivation to win. On the other hand, she had grown very fond of not just Viper, but all of the Jade Palace students, including the two others she was currently competing with. She couldn't help but feel that this was somehow betraying them.

She shook her head.

"...No, I have to do this. For the orphanage." Her decision made, Bei reached up towards the cheetah's paw.

* * *

"Something's not right here."

Viper looked up at Tigress, frowning. "What, because Bei beat Po and Crane there, you think there's some kind of foul play going on?"

"Not that. If you haven't noticed, Kuai just won."

"Ugh, don't remind me," Monkey grumbled.

"That's a pretty big deal, don't you think? Now, notice something missing?"

"Yeah..." Mantis realized. "Where's Chaonao and his usual obnoxious one-liners?"

Indeed, the parrot had not said a single thing for the past five minutes. Truly an unusual circumstance. "He's up there," said the Emperor, who had not taken his eyes off of him since the start of the trial. Chaonao was hovering in front of one particular pipe, looking completely transfixed on whatever was going on in there.

This did not go unnoticed by the other competitors. "Hey! What's the holdup? I just won! Acknowledge my win!" Kuai shouted, making Yin Bei miss his paw and glare at him.

"What's he doing?" asked Monkey.

"I don't know, but I _do_ know one thing," Viper said, closely studying his new position. "He's finally in a good spot."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Then it's time to strike," Tigress nodded. "Get into position."

Their plan was a simple one. While Chaonao was peering into one of the pipes, he was both stationary and putting his back to them, making him a perfect target. The only problem was that they needed him to be at a certain angle in order to get the proper trajectory. As since none of them were flying animals, they had to get a little...creative.

Falling onto his back, Monkey balanced himself on his hands and tail while pointing his legs upward. Viper leapt into his prehensile feet, which then stretched her taut. Tigress pulled her back while Mantis hopped into her coils. Their makeshift slingshot would then shoot Mantis into the air in such a way that he would arc and land directly on the parrot's back. "Remain calm," Master Shifu said sternly. "As soon as you land, you need to immobilize him with nerve strikes. Then we'll rush in and catch you both when you fall. Remember, we only get one shot at this."

"Got it," Mantis said, trying to hide his nervousness. He couldn't lose his cool now. This was finally his time to shine.

* * *

Po really wasn't sure just _what_ he was looking at, but it was certainly interesting.

Behind the mirror was a very peculiar statue, completely unlike the ones encountered by other competitors. It depicted a rather jolly creature, chubby and shirtless, with a sun hat on his head and a dopey expression on his face. But this was not a statue of Po himself; it was way too small for that. If anything, those rings around its eyes kind of looked like...a mask.

He froze on the spot. This thing was a statue of a tanuki.

 _"Well well well, it looks like this trial is just about over, folks!"_

"Hmph. About time," Kuai said, a bit peeved. He got even more peeved when he realized the bird was still not looking at him. Growling at the cheetah, Bei finally climbed back up on her own.

"Ready..." Tigress said slowly, steadying her nerves. The rest of the Five and Master Shifu prepared themselves to strike.

 _"You've been a wonderful audience, but I'm afraid it's time for this show to come to an end!"_

As Po continued looking at the statue, he noticed its eyes suddenly begin to glow, as if a small flame had been lit beneath the surface.

Yin Bei made a dash for the flag.

"Aim..." The miniature form of Master Mantis was angled carefully upward, until he was in the perfect position to land on Chaonao's back.

 _"I'd never leave you without something to remember, though! After all, you can't have a good show..."_

Po leaned in closer, pressing his ear to the statue's belly. Was that...sizzling?

"Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap!" Po sprinted through the broken glass as fast as his pudgy legs could carry him, diving back into the tunnel he came in through.

 _"...without an explosive conclusion!"_

"FIRE!"

A sound like thunder rippled through the mountain.

* * *

 _I'm well aware that Chaonao is failing to relay a lot of what he's seeing to the audience, leaving his commentary without proper context. This is of course to avoid being redundant, but in-universe, it's just another example of him being kind of bad at this. Not that it's going to be an issue anymore regardless._

 _If you want a better idea of what Po's looking at, just google "tanuki statue". It's hard to miss._


	34. Chapter 33: The Main Event

_As you've probably guessed, the Trial of Earth is pretty much over. This arc, not so much._

* * *

Chapter 33: The Main Event

When a spy was compromised, there were two options available to them.

The first was to take their own life, dying with honor rather than letting the enemy capture them. But Danzaburo refused to let his species go extinct that easily, and certainly not by choice. Suicide was out of the question.

The second option was to abort his mission and flee, but the only way he could do that and still maintain his honor and standing was if he first eliminated all traces of his presence to ensure that nothing could be brought against the Daimyo.

He was going to bury everything. Everything and every _one_.

* * *

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt the Trial of Earth to bring you your untimely demise SQUAWK! We apologize for the inconvenience!"_

"FEAR THE BUG!"

" _Wha...AHHH!"_

Chaonao screeched as an airborne Master Mantis flew down at him...

...whizzing right past his head and into the mountain.

"NO!" Tigress roared from the stands. The sudden rumbling had thrown off their aim just enough for the plan to fail.

"What's going on?!" asked Monkey, looking around frantically. Already, the crowd was beginning to panic and flee the stands, causing total chaos as they ran into and trampled over each other in their effort to escape the arena. It was getting out of control fast.

"Bombs..." Shifu said anxiously, watching as the mountain began to shake and convulse with the force of multiple explosions. "He must have planted them sometime before the trial, knowing we would all be gathered here. We've walked right into his trap."

"He's going to kill everyone in this arena," Viper gasped.

"Po and the others are in danger too!" Tigress shouted. "We have to get them out of there!"

"You will do no such thing!" ordered Shifu. "Everyone in there is capable of taking care of themselves. As your master, I refuse to let you kill yourselves running into a collapsing mountain!" He pointed to the panicking crowd. "The people here are the one's that need your protection! Now go!"

The rest of the Five weren't happy about leaving their friends to fend for themselves, but they knew it had to be done. "Yes, Master!"

* * *

Po's ears were still ringing as he slowly stood back up and peeked back into the mirror room. Though at this point, it was more like the broken glass room. The explosion had completely obliterated the place. Po gulped. If the bomb hadn't killed him, the shards of glass flying everywhere certainly would have. If he hadn't happened to check behind that mirror...

He shuddered. It was best not to finish that thought. The last thing he needed to do right now was reflect on how totally screwed he almost was.

There was a loud rumble and Po had to shield himself from a piece of rubble that fell from the ceiling. He dodged out of the way as several more pieces started coming down.

Then again, he might _still_ be totally screwed.

Figuring that going forward had to be better than going back, Po rushed through the broken glass room and into the now clearly-exposed exit.

* * *

Crane was in an even bigger bind. He knew he was way too far into the mountain to turn around now, but the way forward was...nonexistent. That was merely depressing before. Now, it was potentially fatal.

He should've known better than to trust Kuai, even a false manifestation of him. That's what he gets for trying to be clever. He looked up at the ceiling, which he knew was going to fall and crush him any minute now. At least no one would be around to see this.

"Sorry, Mei Ling. I guess I'm gonna have to cut our reunion short."

Thinking of Mei Ling, he couldn't help but recall what she, or rather her doppelganger, had said before. Was he right after all to feel guilty about leaving her there, or was she just trying to throw him off his game? She did say herself that she was being...sneaky.

If this puzzle really was about deception, then perhaps he shouldn't be giving up so easily. Even in mortal peril, Crane managed to remain calm and examine the dead end in front of him. When his eyes saw nothing new, he started feeling along the wall with his wings. Despite his brief boost of confidence, he was surprised when he actually found something.

Feeling a loose part of the wall, Crane pushed it in. The cavern rumbled, though it was hard to tell over the rumbling already going on, and suddenly a new tunnel opened.

Crane reminded himself to give Mei Ling a great big hug as soon as he saw her again. Heck, De Lu could even join in on it too.

* * *

The sudden shaking caused Yin Bei to trip just in front of the flag. As she reached for it again, the summit broke apart in front of her, causing the flag to fall into the crack. "No!"

Kuai winced. "Ouch. Tough luck bunny, but I'm getting out of here!" The cheetah was quick to take off, activating Fleetfoot and speeding down the side of the mountain, sheer momentum keeping him from falling off. Unlike herself if she were dumb enough to try that.

Only then did the severity of the situation fully sink in. Losing the trial had suddenly become the least of her problems.

* * *

Chaonao watched, relieved as Mantis slowly flaked off of the mountain and tumbled away. _"Phew! Tough crowd. TOO tough. I'm outta here SQUAWK!"_

The parrot turned to fly away when he suddenly found another bird hovering right in his face. "You're not going anywhere," Master Blazing Rooster said darkly.

He chuckled nervously. " _Wha-what are you talking about? I was just making a joke! I didn't have anything to do with this-!"_ Rooster cut him off by violently kicking him in the stomach, sending him ricocheting off of the mountain.

"You're lying."

Chaonao shook himself off. For a second, his form seemed to shift slightly, then returned to normal. " _Okay, you know what? I am sick and tired of everyone pushing me around!_ _I still remember that 'squawk up a river' comment, you know! I think it's about time I paid you back for that humiliation!"_

In an instant, Chaonao's wings were suddenly filled with shuriken, which he hurled fiercely at Rooster. The larger bird dodged to the left and then over top to avoid both waves, then countered with a strong gust of wind. To his surprise, Chaonao quickly descended to avoid it. " _Ha! Do you have any idea how many wind attacks I've seen in this tournament so far?! It's like they're going out of style! You're gonna have to do better than that SQUAWK!"_

"So you want to see something different, do you?" Rooster gave a sinister smile. "Then how about _this?"_

Rooster titled his head back and let out a loud cock-a-doodle-doo. This might have looked completely ridiculous if not for the fact that he was now surrounded by a circle of flames, which then rose into a vortex and formed the shape of a giant phoenix, surrounding him like a fiery aura of death.

Chaonao's beak dropped. _"...Okay, that's a new one alright."_

* * *

Bei watched all of this, greatly confused. Why was her master fighting Chaonao of all people? And since when could Chaonao actually fight?

"Hey, I made it!"

She turned around to see Po come out of the tunnel behind her, looking way more giddy than he should have. "Yeah, you made it to a front row seat for our imminent deaths. Good job."

He frowned. "Man, I don't remember you being this grumpy." His eyes trailed up and he caught sight of Rooster and Chaonao. "Woah! Your master is AWESOME!"

"Er...yes, he is," Bei agreed politely. It was hard to get mad at this guy.

"I mean, just _look_ at that crazy phoenix aura! I could never do something that cool!"

"That's great and all, but we really should be focused on trying not to die here..."

"Oh, that. No problem, we just jump off."

He said this so casually that she wasn't sure if she heard him right for a second. "Are you crazy?!"

"No no no, it's okay! See, we just have to wait until the mountain collapses enough, and then we jump to safety."

"You _are_ crazy!"

* * *

Rooster swept one wing at Chaonao. Instead of a usual gust, the parrot was struck by a blast of super-heated air, both burning and disorienting him. Rooster dove in to attack him while he was distracted, only for him to somehow pull a katana out of nowhere, poised to skewer him if he got too close. _"Maybe now you'll see my 'point' SQUAWK! Wait, I think I already did that one."_

Changing tactics, Rooster got just close enough to scorch the parrot's feathers a bit, then abruptly veered upward. This left Chaonao covered in a massive cloud of thick, noxious smoke. Rooster could hear him start to gasp and choke from within the cloud. Moving around to aim at where his unprotected back would be, Rooster dived down again, aiming a kick with his razor-sharp talons.

He passed straight through the cloud, coming into contact with nothing. When the smoke dissipated, the parrot was gone. _By the gods, shapeshifters are SO annoying!_

 _"Did you really think you could beat me with that?! Smoke is MY element! Here, let me show you!"_

Rooster saw several bursts of white smoke appear in the air, and suddenly found himself surrounded by a few dozen Chaonao lookalikes. To make things even more confusing, they all started to fly in circles around him, getting faster and faster. "You think you're really clever, don't you?" Though admittedly, he really had no idea which bird was the real one.

 _"SQUAWK!"_

 _"_ Agh!" Rooster hissed as he suddenly took a kunai knife to the side. Whatever metal he was using was clearly strong enough to get through the intense heat. And at the speed they were going, he had no idea where it could have come from.

 _"SQUAWK!"_

Rooster moved this time, but was still slashed across the back by a second knife. The flames around him sputtered slightly. This was bad. The phoenix state already used up a lot of his chi. Now that he had been injured, he couldn't maintain it much longer. Especially not with this damn spy taking potshots at him.

Well, if he was just going to run out of energy anyway, he might as well go out with a bang.

He spread his wings to the side and performed a spin. His wind created twin waves of fire that shot out and completely engulfed the sky around him.

 _"SQU-AWWWWWWWWWCK!"_

The end result was a multitude of burning leaves and one very singed parrot. _"Everybody's a critic..."_ Chaonao spat out a cloud of soot, then tumbled down to Earth, bursting into smoke as he disappeared into the mountain.

Rooster's phoenix aura was gone now, and he barely managed to even right himself in the air. That tired him out more than he thought. He needed to grab Yin Bei and get out of here.

*CRACK*

Quickly.

He looked back down at the summit just as the mountain finally collapsed completely. He saw both Bei and Po fall as the summit crumbled underneath them. Even as he dove down after them, he already knew he would only be able to save one.

 _My apologies Dragon Warrior, but I will never abandon one of my students. Especially not her._

He couldn't bring himself to look at the falling panda as he grabbed Bei by the ears and carried her off. "Are you okay?" he asked gently.

Bei was about to protest about leaving Po behind when she noticed the kunai in Rooster's side. "Master, you're hurt!"

"Are you okay?" he asked again, firmly.

"Y-Yes."

She looked back, unable to even see Po anymore, and shook her head sadly.

* * *

Okay, so waiting for the mountain to collapse was not a good plan. Lesson learned. Shame he wouldn't get to utilize it. Though really, there were worse ways to die, all things considered. At least he escaped a horrific maiming back in that mirror room. His friends might actually recognize his corpse now, so he could get a proper burial once they dug him out of the rubble. His dad would probably want to make a memorial for him in the noodle shop too. Something big, and made of dumplings. That would be nice.

He was just starting to think about what they would serve at his funeral when he noticed he was no longer falling. He looked up at the exasperated avian carrying him. "Oh, hey Crane."

"You _really_ need to stop making me do this," he huffed as he slowly brought Po down to ground level. It was safe here, relatively speaking of course.

"Crane, I think Danzaburo just blew up the mountain!"

"I noticed."

"We've gotta do something!"

"I think we already are." Crane pointed a wing over at the crowd of frantic spectators. They could already see the rest of the Five starting to usher them to safety.

Po squinted. "Hey, where's Mantis?"

"I'm sure he's around here somewhere. We'll be here all day if we try to spot him."

"Right! Let's go help out then."

 _"But wait! There's still more to come, folks!"_

They turned around as a familiar shape burst out of the rubble behind them. What hovered there now still had the body of Chaonao, but with the tail, jacket, and masked eyes of Danzaburo. His normally bright green plumage had also shifted into a much darker shade of greenish-brown.

Po and Crane immediately prepared themselves for a fight, making the spy chuckle. "So you're planning to attack me, are you? I guess you don't care about all of those poor civilians then."

Po wavered. "H-Hey, that's not-"

 _"It looks like the Dragon Warrior and Master Crane are in quite the dilemma now! Do they stop the handsome, ingenious spy from getting away, or do they save YOU, our wonderful viewers, from certain annihilation?! You'll find out the answer...now, because I'm gone! This is Danzaburo, signing off SQUAWK!"_ He waved a wing at the two masters mockingly, then flew away.

"What do we do?" Crane asked uneasily, paralyzed between equal desires to punish the wicked and protect the innocent.

"Go help the rest of the Five," Po said calmly. "I'm going after him."

"Uh...no offense, but wouldn't it make more sense for the guy with wings to go after the guy with wings?"

"Look, I'm still new to this whole hero business. You guys have been saving people for decades. I'm not sure I really have the finesse to be of much help here." He shot him a confident smile. "Now, beating up bad guys? _That_ I can do. I promise I won't let him get away, Crane. You just have to trust me on this."

Crane sighed. "...Alright. Who am I to stop you? Do whatever you think is right."

"Thanks, buddy." Po took off running in the direction the spy fled. "You hear that, Chaonaburo?! I'm coming for ya!"

"Po, it's still the same guy. You don't have to combine the-" The panda was already gone.

Crane just shook his head and flew off to help the others. _I really hope you know what you're getting yourself into._

* * *

Po kept Chaonaburo in his sights as best as he could. The parrot-tanuki hybrid stayed high above him, seemingly unaware of his presence, which allowed Po to tail him pretty closely no matter where he went. The problem being that he had absolutely no idea how he was going to actually reach him, but he was always good at making stuff up on the spot.

He didn't even realize how far he had run until he suddenly found himself back in the village again, and at sunset. With everyone at the arena, the place was deserted, almost frighteningly so. There wasn't even anyone at the noodle shop, which was just plain wrong, even _if_ there was no one there to sell anything. Po repressed a small shudder.

Remembering that he was supposed to be tracking a spy, he looked back up again, only to find that he was nowhere in sight. He slapped a paw to his forehead. _So much for my promise. Why do I have to be so easily distracted?_

"Hey, Po!"

He perked up as a pig ran past him. Wasn't this place supposed to be empty?

"Are you coming to the show?" a bunny child asked, only pausing for a moment before running after the pig.

"What show?"

"The big show!" the bunny yelled back, as if that explained everything. Po scratched his head as a few more villagers ran by, all shouting similar statements. As far as he knew, the "show" was in the complete opposite direction, and no longer running. So then where were these guys going?

He shrugged. This was really surreal, but it wasn't like he had any better ideas. With some effort, he caught up to the villagers, watching as they headed up the thousand stairs to a very familiar arena. Great. Now he had to face his worst enemy too.

By the time he managed another hike up the stairs, it was nighttime. Huffing and puffing, Po looked up at the Jade Palace arena standing in front of him. Already, he could see fireworks going off and hear a crowd cheering wildly inside. Talk about déjà vu. Unlike the last time he had been in this situation though, it seemed that he hadn't missed a thing. The doors to the arena were open wide in front of him, as if beckoning him to enter. So he did just that, disregarding the fact that this was almost certainly some kind of trap.

The inside of the arena was even louder, as he was now surrounded on all sides by the roaring crowd. Oddly, he didn't see any of the villagers that had lead him here. In fact, he didn't see any pigs, bunnies, or other residents of the Valley at all. That was when he knew for sure that this all had to be an illusion.

Mainly because the seats were populated entirely by tanuki.

They came in all shapes and sizes, young and old, male and female, but these were tanuki alright. And if there were tanuki here, then-

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for an exhibition match SQUAWK!"_

Chaonaburo swooped into the arena, causing the crowd to grow even louder as they applauded him. _"Lost souls of the tanuki clan, I've brought you here today to witness THIS, the grand finale! After weeks of action, drama, and intrigue, it all comes down to this, one last fight to the finish SQUAWK! You won't wanna miss this one, folks!"_

Po's head fell slowly to one side. Chaonaburo only barely acknowledged he was even there as he gestured in his direction.

 _"Now let's introduce our challenger, shall we? He's survived drowning, stabbing, explosions, fangirls, and now he's come to get ripped apart, right here, for your viewing pleasure SQUAWK! H_ _ailing from the Valley of Peace, weighing in at way too freaking much, it's the Black and White Bruiser, the Dumpling Dynasty, the Dragon Warrior of legend, Po Ping!"_

Po was instantly assaulted by a chorus of boos and hisses, along with a polite golf clap. He may have lived here, but he clearly didn't have the home-field advantage. He was just glad these were all illusions or he probably would've been pelted with rotten fruit too.

 _"Opposing him is a man who needs no introduction, so I ain't giving him one!...Just kidding, folks! Hailing from the Land of the Rising Sun, weighing whatever the heck he wants, it's the Tanuki Terror, the Shapeshifting Schemer, the Spy of a Thousand Scents himself! He's a face you love no matter which face it is SQUAWK! Let's give a big 'k_ _onnichiwa' to DAAAAAAANZAAAAABUUUUUROOOOO!"_

The spy dropped into the center of the arena, spreading his wings out wide in a complete lack of humility. He was met by deafening cheers and showers of confetti, followed by a short fireworks display that created a perfect image of a leaf.

"Danza-sama! Danza-sama! Danza-sama!" the tanuki crowd chanted.

Po rolled his eyes. "Okay, you get an 'A' for presentation. Now are you ready to do this, or what?"

 _"Oh ho ho! Sounds like someone is eager to get this thing started! Well let's not keep him waiting, folks!"_

Chaonaburo took to the sky again. _"Because this is the show you've ALL been waiting for!"_

His shuriken appeared in his right wing. _"Two competitors go in, one comes out!'_

His kunai in his left wing. " _The fate of all this delicious intel is going to be decided right here SQUAWK!"_

His katana materialized in his right foot. " _It's China vs. Japan, no-holds-barred, winner take all!"_

He landed back on the ground, balancing on his left foot and brandishing his weapons in Po's direction.

"Sayonara, Dragon-san."

Po readied himself as best he could.

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, IIIIIIIIIIT'S SHOWTIME!"_

* * *

 _-sama: A Japanese honorific denoting great respect, like calling someone a lord or lady._

 _In case it isn't clear, Chaonaburo speaking in italics is Chaonao's voice, and regular text is Danzaburo's._

 _I made a reference to all three KFP movies in this chapter. Not particularity hard, but see if you can spot them._


	35. Chapter 34: Showtime Showdown

_I'll start this off by saying that finishing this by the KFP3 release date is not happening. Not unless you live in the UK. That said, I have an announcement to make. Because I am a massive nerd when it comes to this franchise, I have not one, but TWO fanfic ideas for a movie that has yet to come out. One of those I will be starting on immediately after I see it, so you can expect it sometime within the following week. It will run alongside this fic up until I finish it, and then I'll start on something else too. Here's a hint: it's one of the three sequels I promised to do at some point. ;)_

* * *

Chapter 34: Showtime Showdown

The evacuation was not going very well. The people of the Valley knew the Furious Five very well, and so they followed their orders with relatively no problem. Unfortunately, many of the spectators were outsiders who didn't particularly care about what a bunch of kung fu masters thought they should do. It was these people that were slowing down progress significantly. The collapsing mountain however, was not slowing in the slightest. The main structure had already crumbled, and now rocks were falling from the sky like a meteor shower.

"I'm just saying, if you couldn't even win your own match, what makes you an expert on avoiding rock slides?" asked a particularly stubborn pig, who sounded as concerned as someone who couldn't find an item at the farmer's market.

Tigress pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "That doesn't make any sense. Look, either you follow my directions or you're going to die!"

The pig paused for a moment. "...Yeah, I'm not really seeing it."

Tigress growled at him, about to do something less than honorable, when her sensitive hearing picked up a noise from above her. She looked up to see a giant boulder falling right towards them. Instinctively, she grabbed the pig and jumped out of the way as it hit the ground behind them. "Okay, I'm convinced," he said quickly and ran off.

"Having a little trouble?" Tigress dusted herself off and saw Crane now hovering above her.

"Crane, you're alright! Does this mean everyone else made it out too?"

"I saw Yin Bei being carried out by Master Rooster, and Po went after Danzaburo. I'm pretty sure Kuai made it too." Which did make him feel better, if only because he didn't want Mei Ling to be hurt.

"That's good, I-wait, Po went after Danzaburo?! _By_ _himself_?!"

Crane held his wings in front of him defensively. "Hey, don't blame me. You know how the guy gets sometimes." Tigress gritted her teeth and nodded in agreement. "I'm sure he's fine! We've got nothing to worry about...probably."

* * *

 _"Think fast SQUAWK!"_

"WOAH!" Po turned to the side as a kunai whizzed past his head. Chaonaburo quickly flew in from the opposite side, taking a swing at his head with the katana. Po dodged again, then immediately countered with a punch. Fast as it was, the spy avoided it easily.

Taking to the sky, Chaonaburo sent a rain of shuriken flying down at him. Po rolled to the right as a line of them stuck into the ground behind him. Chaonaburo then dove at him again, spinning around so that his weapon-filled wings turned him into a tiny bladed vortex. But Po stood his ground, launching a kick that passed through the center of the blades and nailed the bird in his unprotected face.

Or at least it would have if he didn't abruptly swoop back up at the last second. The kick missed him completely, and left him the opening to land a kick of his own, raking his sharp talons across the panda's face.

"Danza-sama! Danza-sama! Danza-sama!"

"Agh! What the heck is going on here?!" Po cried, clutching his bleeding face with one paw. "You are not supposed to be this tough!"

 _"The Dragon Warrior seems to be under the impression that I haven't been paying attention to how he fights! It's actually a little insulting SQUAWK!"_

Chaonaburo clutched his katana in both talons and dropped down at Po. The panda yelled and jumped away as the blade stabbed into the ground. The spy kept up the assault, swinging and stabbing at him repeatedly. After getting a cut across the arm, Po finally struck back, kicking the blunt end of the katana and knocking it away, leaving him open to throw another kick at Chaonaburo.

Naturally, it missed.

 _As I told his friends during that HILARIOUS incident at the Trial of Metal, knowledge is power! Unfortunately for our lost panda here, I have a heck of a lot more knowledge on him than on those chumps!"_

"What? Why?"

He spread his wings and flung a group of small spheres at him. They burst into smoke, completely obscuring Po's vision.

" _Because you made it through four trials, moron! Did it not occur to you that the more you fight, the more I learn?!"_

"Uhhhhh..." For once, it seemed that his own determination had worked against him. Po looked around uneasily for any sign of the spy.

 _"For example, I know that you're really bad at looking behind you SQUAWK!"_

Po jumped and spun around, only to see nothing there. He turned back around just in time to take a bird to the face, knocking him on his back.

 _"And that you're also incredibly gullible!"_

Po growled and got back up just as the smoke cleared. He could now clearly see Chaonaburo hovering right above him.

 _"If it makes you feel any better, all I got out of the Trial of Earth was your complete ineptitude at puzzle-solving, which hardly needs a professional spy to figure out SQUAWK!"_

Po stomped onto the arena hard enough to dislodge a few tiles, snatched one out of the air, and flung it in Chaonaburo's direction. With no visible effort, he threw a single kunai right back and shattered the tile before it could reach him. _"Nice try!"_

 _Okaaaaay, this is going to be tougher than I thought. And I might be totally screwed. Again._

Things didn't get much better from there.

" _Right hook!"_ Chaonaburo flew to the side, avoiding a punch from Po.

 _"Roundhouse kick!"_ He dropped altitude and glided under Po's kick.

 _"Belly bounce!"_ He flapped his wings and thrust himself backwards, putting him out of reach of Po and his belly.

 _"Catchphrase!"_

"You're feeling really clever right now, huh? When I'm through with you, the only thing you're going to be feeling is the thun-!" Po cut himself off, then crossed his arms and huffed. "No one likes a smarty pants."

"Danza-sama! Danza-sama! Danza-sama!"

 _"Sounds like the crowd disagrees with you SQUAWK!"_

Po launched himself at the spy and threw another punch. When he inevitably dodged it, Po spun on his heel and threw a kick instead. This too Chaonaburo avoided, but the closeness of the attacks forced him to block it with his katana. It didn't hurt him, but the sheer force of the blow sent him flying back a bit until he was able to right himself.

"If you know so much about me, then I bet you know that I'm a lot stronger than you," Po said smugly. "Dodge around all you want, but sooner or later, I'm taking you down!"

The deep voice of Danzaburo laughed. "That's your plan? Throw attacks at me until something sticks?" he asked mockingly. "Though I'll admit, I estimated only a 37% chance of you even _having_ a plan, so consider me impressed, Dragon-san." Before Po could decide if he was flattered or insulted, he continued. "I should let you know however, that you are not the only one who has a plan. I have several, in fact."

Now he was definitely insulted. "Good for you."

"It is actually. Allow me to demonstrate one of the more...interesting ones."

"Oh no, please don-"

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, how are you liking the show so far?!"_

He was met by more commotion as Po groaned and dragged a paw down his face. Now he couldn't decide which half of Chaonaburo he liked less.

 _"What's that?! Not enough action for you?! Well we can't have that! To liven things up, allow me to share a fun bit of trivia! Did you know that the dangerous props used in the Wu Xing Tournament are not kept in their individual arenas?! No, too much danger of curious passerby (or looters) wandering in and hurting themselves SQUAWK! So can you guess where they ARE kept?!"_

The crowd went wild as the tanuki shouted increasingly improbable answers. It was like watching the world's most demented ventriloquist act. "How long is this going to go on?" Po asked himself, tapping a foot impatiently.

 _"If you guessed 'inside this very arena', you are correct SQUAWK!"_

He paled. "Wait, what?"

 _"That's right! All of those fun memories are stored right here! And guess where I put them!"_

Chaonaburo flew over to one of the twin dragon statues that looked over the arena. He casually tapped a taloned foot against it, and it turned into a box. A very familiar box.

A box full of metallic weapons.

 _"I really do think these things didn't get enough use before! It's time to make up for that SQUAWK!"_ He kicked the box over, sending it's deadly contents spilling into the arena.

"Eep!" Po danced around as the weapons landed all around him.

 _"Scientifically speaking, throwing a bunch of sharp objects all over the place SHOULD result in greater bloodshed! Don't quote me on that, folks!"_

Po tiptoed around a few dangerous blades, looking around carefully. If he had to deal with all of these weapons, he might as well use one.

Unfortunately, Chaonaburo had the same idea. Swooping down, he snatched a pair of wind and fire wheels in his talons and came at Po again. Panicked, Po grabbed the nearest weapon, Lao Pi's oversized battle axe and managed to block him. He then had to keep blocking him as he continued the assault from multiple sides. The unwieldy weapon combined with the numerous other weapons scattered about was making even the defensive strategy pretty difficult.

He finally just threw the entire axe in the spy's direction and went looking for something else. Chaonaburo flew to avoid the axe, but was distracted enough to give Po a few seconds. "Come on, come on, give me something I can use!"

Chaonaburo grabbed Dun's spear next and charged Po with it. "Crap!" The panda snatched a large dagger off the ground and just barely deflected the spear's attack. He only noticed afterwards that it was the same dagger De Lu had used against him. "Phew! Thanks, buddy."

Looking slightly annoyed, Chaonaburo reared back a bit and copied Po's tactic by just hurling the spear at him. Knowing that it was going too fast to deflect this time, Po slipped his foot under Yin Bei's shield, then kicked it up into the air, intercepting the spear and taking both weapons out. With this spare time, Po reached for something else.

He picked up another weapon and readied it just as Chaonaburo grabbed Reidak's billy clubs, now seeming intent on just bludgeoning him to death. Swinging the clubs at Po's head from both sides, he was surprised as Po blocked them both with Viper's nunchuks and spun them, knocking the clubs, and Chaonaburo away. While he recovered, Po finally found what he was looking for: the metal bo staff.

Chaonaburo looked ready to attack again, but he pulled back just as he got close. Po found out why as his "staff" suddenly exploded in his paws.

 _"Second only to his gullibility is the Dragon Warrior's extreme lack of pattern recognition SQUAWK!"_

Po flew back, seeing himself about to land on some _very_ sharp blades. Thinking fast, he spread his arms and legs and caught himself on the ground, panting heavily at yet another near-death experience. Even so, he could still feel the blades poking into his back. Boy, that was really going to hurt in the morning.

 _"Oh, for the love of...make that third to his obnoxious habit of not dying when convenient!"_

The crowd started to boo him, dissatisfied with the lack of carnage. _"Hey, it's not MY fault! Clearly, this match still needs a little more 'eggcitement'! Well I've got just the thing SQUAWK!"_

He flew to the other dragon statue and unveiled a large wagon of replica tortoise eggs. Still hunched over on his backside, Po gasped. "No way! Not more stupid eggs!"

Chaonaburo flipped the wagon over and the eggs spilled into the arena. These normally would've posed little threat, except for the fact that a bunch of slippery surfaces were now added around the sharp, dangerous weapons. The floor of the arena was quickly becoming _very_ cluttered. _"Boy, am I glad that I have wings!"_

Po got back up and almost immediately stepped onto one of these eggs, sliding his foot out from under him and resulting in Po nearly falling facefirst into an axe. Stumbling back, he stepped on another egg, tripped again, and just avoided having his arm taken off by a dao sword. "Ugh. This is so not fair!"

 _"Oh? Sounds like we have a dispute over the integrity of this match SQUAWK! Let's consult the referee!"_

"This has a referee?!"

The "referee" was an overweight tanuki with a whistle around his neck, sleeping soundly on the sidelines. At the announcer's voice, he woke up briefly, shrugged, and promptly fell asleep again. _"Well that settles it, folks! Let's continue!"_

"At least I know I've got my friends behind me!" Po yelled back.

From his left, a group of tanuki spectators suddenly turned into exact replicas of the Furious Five, all holding frilly pom-poms and moving in sync. "Two, four, six, eight, Dragon-san is second-rate! Go go Danzaburo!"

Chaonaburo flew to the left to avoid an egg Po chucked at him. _"Now that's just plain unsportsmanlike!"_

Po glared at him, then tripped yet again onto a set of shuriken. He yelped as a few of them got lodged in his buttocks.

 _"Wow, do I even need to do anything else? Sooner or later, he's just gonna kill himself!"_ The crowd booed again. _"Okay okay, fine! Geez, you're so hard to please today SQUAWK!"_

Chaonaburo flew out of sight. Any relief Po might have felt about this was instantly crushed when he heard a low rumbling sound approaching from nearby. A large shadow came down the stairs above him and his eyes widened as the massive form of the Juggernaut jumped off of the overlooking ledge and landed in the arena. "You have got to be kidding me..." Could things possibly get any more hectic?

 _"I was waiting to unleash this bad boy until later, but since SOME OF US are getting impatient, let's get this show on the road!"_ Chaonaburo's voice shouted from inside the machine. _"Shame I don't enough limbs to operate all of this thing's! Oh well, I only need two!"_ The Juggernaut raised its upper axe-wielding arms and charged.

On the one hand, it was doing a good job clearing a path through all of this debris. On the other hand, it was the Juggernaut.

With so little room to maneuver, Po leapt over the machine's first swing, landing on top of the arm. The Juggernaut quickly slashed at him with the other arm, which Po caught with some difficulty.

 _"H-Hey! I don't think this thing is built to handle this kind of weight SQUAWK!"_

Ignoring yet another jab at his girth (he was more than used to it by now), Po tightened his grip on the wooden arm and with a loud "WA CHA!" ripped it from its socket. It landed right on top of the Furious Five lookalikes, poofing them out of existence. " _Yikes! Guess the Dragon Warrior doesn't care about his friends anymore! Good thing they're not here to see this!"_

Po growled, but before he could do anything else, he was suddenly knocked off by the other two arms and pinned to the floor. He struggled to free himself, but all that weight baring down was too much even for him. _"Thanks for giving me less arms to keep track of! I might have never gotten around to using these bottom ones otherwise SQUAWK!"_

Po struggled even more frantically as he saw the remaining arm lifted above him, its axe ready to take his head clean off. He couldn't even reach for a weapon anymore.

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, it seems we have reached the finale! Can I get a 'sayonara'?!"_

"SAYONARA!"

The arm swung down...just barely missing Po's head. The Juggernaut reeled back, it's face completely covered in fake egg goop. Po smirked, juggling another egg in his paw, then flinging that one too.

 _"SQUAWK?! Hey, you can't blind the announcer! I call foul! I CALL FOUL!"_

The referee woke up again, shrugged, and went back to sleep.

The Juggernaut made another blind swing, this time only cutting into one of its own arms and getting stuck there. While Chaonaburo struggled to free it, Po was able to slip out. He leapt forward, grabbing onto both of the machine's bottom arms for leverage, and swung back.

"Skadoosh." He swung forward, kicking straight through the Juggernaut's chest. With a loud screech, Chaonaburo was flung out of the other side, bouncing a few times on the ground until coming to a stop.

Just like that, it all went away. The fireworks, the confetti, the cheers, and every single tanuki in the audience vanished in a puff of smoke. All that was left was a destroyed Juggernaut and a very messy arena.

Po hopped over the fallen Juggernaut and stepped carefully around the remaining weapons, now much easier without having to deal with kunai flying at his face. Danzaburo was lying on the ground several feet away, now back in tanuki form. "Urrrrrgh..." he groaned, starting to get back up. Before he could manage it, Po grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and lifted him up to eye level.

"It's over," he said simply. "Now surrender."

Danzaburo looked up at him defiantly. "No...a warrior of Japan never surrenders."

The white smoke started to gather again, but not just around Danzaburo. It formed all around the surrounding area, closing in and condensing. The last thing Po saw before everything went white was the spy grinning wickedly.

"The show...must go on!"

* * *

 _Okay, seriously guys, I promise the next chapter will NOT end on a cliffhanger. Honest!_

 _I know the Five and the other competitors didn't get to do much in this chapter. Don't worry, everyone will play their part in the next...and I do mean everyone._


	36. Chapter 35: Sayonara

_This was originally going to be two chapters, but because I didn't want to give you guys yet another cliffhanger, I made it into one really massive one instead. Plus, I'm going to be starting my new story very soon. Interrupting the climax to start something completely different would be a whole new level of cruelty. Even I'm not THAT mean._

* * *

Chapter 35: Sayonara

"...Where am I?"

Po was beyond confused. He thought what he had just went through was surreal enough. Now he wasn't even sure if he was in the Valley anymore.

Once the white smoke finally cleared, he found himself in what appeared to be some kind of Japanese rock garden. He had heard of such places before, but dismissed them as one of those weird Japanese myths, like yokai and sushi. Well, myth or not, he had to admit it was kind of nice. The garden was split into two sides by a stone path, winding off far into the distance. Even more stunning was that the entire place seemed to be stuck in a perpetual sunrise. The sun could be seen clearly through the arches of a massive shinto gate, and standing underneath that gate, with his back to him, was Danzaburo.

Po had completely failed to realize that he was no longer holding the tanuki until just now. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" he asked somberly, still facing away. "Welcome...to Japan."

"Woah, you can teleport too?!"

"No, you idiot! This is just an illusion, no more real than the audience we were just performing for. I merely wanted to reflect on my home for a bit before I return to it." Po looked around uneasily. "Don't worry, I got rid of all the clutter. I don't want anything to interrupt our final duel. This is the land where true warriors fight, Dragon-san. Consider it an honor that I allow you to glimpse it before I take your life."

He spat the leaf from his mouth and caught it as it returned to katana form. "Now then...shall we begin?" He finally turned around, pointing the blade towards him, eyes blazing with determination. "I will show you the true power of the tanuki clan!"

* * *

Shifu zipped around the area, scooping up as many civilians as he could manage and escorting them to safety. It was steady progress, but far too inefficient for his liking with the sheer number of people that needed to be rescued. The Emperor of China was being more effective just by shouting orders. He didn't need to do anything else. The Five may have struggled to get some people to listen to them, but the Son of Heaven had no such difficulty. Shame that even his booming voice couldn't carry very far over the panicking crowd.

It was a good thing then, that the Five were being so active in the evacuation effort. Especially with the Dragon Warrior temporarily out of commission. He wasn't pleased when he heard the news, but it wasn't like there was much he could do about it now. He only hoped that his student was alright. He could just barely see the Jade Palace from his position, and even from there he could tell that something truly bizarre was going on. First, it was an unscheduled fireworks show, and now it looked like a good chunk of the arena was completely engulfed in some kind of giant cloud. It was the work of Danzaburo, no doubt about that, but he couldn't begin to fathom what he could be up to.

Whatever it was though, he trusted that Po would to be able to handle it. Somehow.

* * *

Po was already prepared to counter when Danzaburo rushed him. But like anything involving the spy of a thousand scents, it wasn't that simple. Danzaburo suddenly split into three, and those three converged on Po from different sides. Not knowing which was the real deal, Po was forced to dodge all of them, as a katana blade flew past his head, over his arm, and then under his legs. Undeterred, the three Danzaburos rotated and tried again.

This time Po was ready. When he dodged again, he intentionally allowed his attackers to just barely touch him. He lost a bit of fur and flesh off of his right arm for that, but the physical contact made the two fakes disappear instantly. Danzaburo, caught by surprise, only just avoided Po as he tried to punch him. The tanuki fled on all-fours and Po chased him as he ran around one of the large rocks.

Only to suddenly find that rock right in front of him. Po freaked out and shielded himself reflexively, only remembering that it was an illusion when he passed right through it. When he uncovered his face, he had lost his target. "Hey, I _know_ that rock wasn't there before!"

"It's my memory, I can alter it however I please," his voice echoed from behind him. Po dived out of the way as a trio of shuriken flew over his head, passing through the same rock.

Po looked around the garden, not seeing any sign of the spy before he had to dodge another wave of shuriken. Now he saw what was going on here. If the rocks were all illusionary, then Danzaburo could use them to conceal himself while still being able to attack through them. It made Po really wish he had learned to use shuriken himself. He had enough of them still hanging around his room after all.

Well no time like the present to give it a whirl. Literally. As Po ducked more shuriken, he snatched one off of the ground and hurled it at the rock it had come from. He smiled to himself when he heard a cry of pain from the other side, and wasted no time in running up and launching a flying kick straight through the rock.

Danzaburo flew out of the other side and landed hard on his back, right under the shinto gate again. "That was...unexpected."

"You're telling me. Even I didn't think I was actually gonna hit you with that thing."

"You hit me in the _shin_ ," he growled. "And not with enough force to puncture."

"...It worked, didn't it?"

Danzaburo reigned in his temper and sighed. "So it did. Let's try something different then."

The smoke started to condense again. "Trust me Dragon-san, you will run out of tricks long before I do..."

* * *

Crane soared over top of a family of bunnies as they fled the arena, shielding them from debris like an umbrella. His back got pretty bruised in the process, but his sense of honor dictated that this own pain was inconsequential as long as he got these people to safety. That was all well and good up until a much larger rock came down, too big to withstand.

Before Crane could be crushed, Mei Ling flew in and busted the rock open with a kick. Thoroughly freaked out, the bunnies managed to make it the rest of the way themselves. "Thanks for the save," Crane said, wiping his brow.

"Was that really your entire plan? Block rocks until you get your skull caved in?" Mei Ling shook her head. "I swear, you're too helpful for your own good sometimes. How do you think I'd feel if you got yourself killed, huh?"

"Sorry about that," he said sheepishly. "Oh, that reminds me..."

Without warning, he lunged forward and wrapped the Asian golden cat up in a hug. By the time he let go, she had completely forgotten she was mad at him. "Uhhhh...what was _that_ all about?" she asked. Not _complained,_ but asked.

"Er, I'll tell you later," he said, blushing slightly.

"Hey guys, enough with the chit-chat! We have a job to do!" De Lu shouted, busting apart a boulder with his fist.

"Right!" they nodded, quickly joining him.

Back-to-back, the Lee Da masters continued to fight.

* * *

When the smoke cleared again, Po was somehow beyond even beyond confused.

Now he was somewhere he didn't even recognize. A large expanse of white stretched out before him, surrounded by rows of snow-covered mountains. It was easy to tell it was all fake though, given that he didn't feel any change in temperature. It was good that he couldn't smell anything either, as he could also see the unmistakable forms of burning wood and dead carcasses littered about the area. There was no cold, but he still got a chill up his spine.

"Ah yes, this seems more promising already." From behind one of the burning piles, he saw a familiar black shape leap up and land in front of him. It was De Lu, or rather, it _looked_ like De Lu. Po had seen enough to not be fooled anymore.

"You know I already beat this guy, right?"

"Yes, when your bleeding heart convinced him to be merciful," replied "De Lu", smiling menacingly. "I assure you that I will not be so generous, Dragon Warrior. But your heart _will_ be bleeding...all over this snow!"

"De Lu" attacked, swiping his claws at Po, who just managed to block. He then jumped up and launched multiple kicks at his face, knocking Po back slightly. Po tried to kick him back, only for the wolf to jump away. So this guy really _was_ emulating De Lu's fighting style. His really really annoying fighting style.

As "De Lu" continued the offensive, Po realized that he was slowly being herded backwards, towards one of the flaming wrecks. But trying to attack now would be futile. Reminding himself that the flames were not real, Po ducked another kick, and threw the spy over his shoulder.

He now knew for sure what this place was. It must have been the mountain range where De Lu and his comrades had fought Lord Shen's forces...and lost.

"Wait, how did you make all of this anyway? There's no way you've actually _been_ here."

"I didn't need to be," he said, rising back up. "I read the reports, studied the wolf, and learned his background. From that, I created a detailed representation of what that environment must have been like. It's much the same as that old shack I made, just more 'personalized'. Do you like it?"

"Sure, I guess," Po shrugged. "Show off," he muttered to himself.

"The tanuki's true talent is not merely _changing_ , but _copying._ We are masters of mimicry. Even the most advanced techniques I am able to replicate if I simply observe them for long enough. For example..."

The wolf fell into a familiar stance, drawing his fist back. Po froze when he saw his shadow vanish. "Oh, cra-!"

Po was Shadow Punched clear across the mountain. It wasn't quite as strong as the real De Lu's, but boy did it still hurt.

"De Lu" hunched over, panting. "Ugh...that _is_ a taxing technique. Too risky for my purposes. No, this will not do."

"Hey, don't you-!"

The smoke condensed and the scene changed again.

* * *

Tigress sprinted across the arena on all-fours, ferrying civilians on her back. An adult sheep was screaming her head off and a few bunny children were doing the same, but for decidedly different reasons. In any case, it was starting to hurt the feline's sensitive ears.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it." She saw Reidak suddenly run up beside her, carrying his own load of spectators. At the sight of the tiger, her passengers all screamed louder.

"Are you sure about that?" she groaned.

"Da. It's something you adapt to when you have a large family."

"Thanks, but I'm not sure that's something I _want_ to adapt to," Tigress mumbled.

Amazingly, Reidak still her heard over all the noise and laughed. "I imagine not, but you may not have a choice in the matter."

Before she could ask what he meant, Tigress had to jump away to dodge a falling boulder. Reidak did the same, jumping over the boulder instead. "I suppose this is a conversation best left for later."

Tigress veered to the left to avoid another boulder. "I would say so, yes."

Coming together again, the two tigers took off through the shower of rocks.

* * *

Now Po was in some kind of courtyard. A courtyard surrounded by cinder block and a couple of grown trees. Around that, he could see a dozen small huts and a big stadium that was probably used for training. Or so he assumed. The place looked like an academy anyway.

It was interesting, but he only had a few seconds to ponder it before a katana nearly took off his head.

"Stay focused, durak. I don't want this to end _too_ quickly," the face of "Reidak" smirked at him.

"How are you imitating a blind guy?"

"Like a regular guy, but without the seeing part."

Great, he copied Reidak's snark too.

He dodged the next swing and struck back, punching "Reidak" in the throat. He reeled back and gagged, making Po recall the first time he had ever met the tiger, when he had somehow managed to make him sick. Unfortunately, he never really understood what happened there, so forming any potential strategy from it was out.

What he did know was that his opponent was now physically blind, so he rolled around to his backside and launched a kick at his head. "Reidak" whirled around and deflected it with the katana. "Still, you underestimate me. Do you think I am not prepared to fight like this? Nyet, I have become intimately aware of Master Fearless Shadow's style, and now I have the form to replicate it."

"Reidak" charged again, stabbing at Po. The panda sidestepped the blade, grabbed the spy's arm and aimed an elbow at his face. The tiger's ear twitched and his head moved out of the way. He struck back by kicking Po in the stomach, hard enough to actually hurt. While Po was stunned, "Reidak" grabbed him by the head and kneed him in the face. "Do you see now why I am so valued as a spy? I have overwritten my own style with that of the tiger's. I am like a blank slate, able to replicate whatever I need whenever I need it."

"Yeah? Well let me show you how much you need _eyes_."

While saying this, Po swept his leg out and tripped the spy, completely unprepared thanks to his untrained ears. He rolled away and got back to his feet, glaring in his general direction uneasily.

"Still not enough. This form is too inefficient. No matter, I will try another."

The smoke condensed and the scene changed again.

* * *

"Down there!"

Yin Bei pointed into the arena frantically. Master Rooster was trying to find a good place to land and help with the evacuation, so he was a little confused as to why his pupil was making the decision for him. At least until he saw Master Viper, struggling to pull a rock off of a trapped piglet.

"Works for me," he said, diving down into the chaos. He didn't even bother touching the ground, just letting go when he was close enough so that Bei would drop down safely, then moving on to assist elsewhere. He also left her behind because he didn't want to listen to her constant nagging about his kunai wound. She should know by now that something like that wasn't going to stop him, even when it probably should.

"Hold on little guy, I've got you," Viper gasped, straining to pull the rock off of him. Thankfully, it was held up with smaller rubble, so the piglet was not too injured, but very firmly stuck.

"Need a hand? Or an ear?" To her surprise, Bei landed right next to her, as if literally falling out of the sky. Before she could question it, the hare wrapped her ears around the rock and pulled. With her help, they were finally able to move the rock away. The piglet cried and quickly wrapped himself up in one of those ears, snuggling it like a security blanket.

"Don't laugh," Bei said. Viper was trying very hard not to. "Now let's get this kid back to his parents and go help out."

"You didn't look too good up on the summit. Do you think you're gonna be okay doing this?" Viper asked, concerned.

Truthfully, she still felt a little weak, but Bei grinned and gave her a thumbs up anyway. "Of course! I'm just fine!"

Maybe she and Rooster had more in common than she thought.

* * *

At least this next place was kind of nice. Po was in a big cathedral with two rows of pillars on each side. The entrance was a large red door with gold lining and handles, with depictions of gold flames on it. Opposite the door was a giant throne made of the twisted branches of a tree, complete with leaves on the armrests, back, and seat. Sitting in the throne was the charred corpse of a giant bird, which took a bit of the niceness away granted, but above that was a beautiful orange stained glass window, with an image of the Phoenix in all of its fiery glory.

"Woah..."

"This one was trickier than the others. This place isn't around anymore, you know. All thanks to me. Well, not _me_ exactly." The small form of Yin Bei walked towards him, looking a lot more evil than usual.

Po cringed. "Come on, the cute little bunny too? That's just wrong."

"I would like to inform you that my current species is not properly classified as a bunny." She materialized two kunai knives in her ears and attacked, stabbing out with them. It looked a bit silly, but was very much lethal.

Po stood his ground, deflecting the ears left and right until he finally caught one, then the other. "Ha! What are you gonna do n-OW!"

"Bei" leapt forward and kicked him in the belly. Losing his grip, the ears got free and wrapped around his arms. The hare threw him over her head and slammed him into the ground behind her. She then used her ears as leverage to lift herself above Po and plant both feet hard into his belly, which was getting seriously bruised at this point.

Po finally managed to scrunch up and kick her off of him. The spy landed a few feet away, suddenly getting a concerned look on her face. "Oh no! Did I hurt you too much, Master Po? Do you want me to help you out?" It sounded perfectly genuine. Almost scarily so.

"You're really going all out with the innocent act, aren't 'cha? Is this part of your 'blank slate-ness' too?"

"Of course it is," she giggled. "Appearance and mannerisms are one thing, but an undercover spy's most important job is to match the target's personality. Otherwise, any disguise will fall apart in no time. That's why I was trained to be this way."

"What, trained to be an emotionless tool?"

"Bei" threw out her ears in his direction, flinging a whole arsenal of concealed shuriken at him. But even as Po did a backflip over all of them, she did not seem upset. "Emotions are of no use to me anymore. All they do now is get in the way of my mission, and anything that impedes my mission must be eliminated. Including _you_!"

Po reflexively sidestepped the hare's next kick, then reached out and grabbed her by both ears. He didn't think this would actually be that effective until he suddenly realized he wasn't being attacked anymore. He held up the spy by the ears, watching as she comically tried to punch and kick him, her stubby limbs not even coming close to reaching his body. She then attempted to throw a shuriken at him, which Po immediately kicked out of her paws. "Huh. That was easier than I thought."

"Damn this tiny body!" "Bei" swore, taking more wild swings at him.

"It's bigger than your normal one, you know."

Finally giving up, the spy stopped struggling and just glared. "Do not get cocky. I am not finished yet."

The smoke condensed and the scene changed again.

* * *

Kuai sprinted through the crowd, trying not to lose his cool at the near-apocalyptic scenario going on around him. It was no problem for him of course. He was fast, the fastest ever. These rocks would never touch him.

That attitude served him well up until a rock suddenly fell right in front of him and he had no time to stop himself. The cheetah tripped and rolled along the ground a few times. Still dazed, Kuai sat back up, only just noticing another rock heading straight for him at the last second. Screaming in terror, he closed his eyes and held up his arms to shield himself.

All he heard was the sound of shattering stone. He opened his eyes hesitantly and saw the massive shape of Dun standing over top of him. "Hey."

Kuai shot up as another rock hit Dun's back, making him clench his teeth in pain. "Dun! What are you doing?! Your armor isn't healed yet!"

"No problem," he said, struggling to talk. "Anything. For a friend."

"Dun..." Kuai didn't know what to say for a moment. Then he gave his usual cocky smirk and stood back up. "Well I can't let you have _all_ the fun! Let's do this!"

Kuai leapt up and kicked the next rock away. He dropped into his battle stance, now inadvertently helping with the evacuation effort.

* * *

"Lee Da Academy? Sweet, I've always wanted to come here!"

Po was standing in the middle of Lee Da's main arena, which he noted was not quite as impressive as the Jade Palace's. Around him he could see the other buildings of the academy, as well as several students doing forms down below. Given that they were all illusions, they didn't even acknowledge his presence, continuing to practice away in their own little made-up world.

"Oh, I'm so happy I could make your dream come true."

Po jumped away as "Dun" rolled past him. The pangolin rolled to the edge of the arena, turned around and unfurled himself. His cold stare was actually pretty appropriate for once. "Hey, that's out of character!" Po protested. "Dun doesn't talk that much!"

"He can talk just fine. He just prefers not to."

"Dun" curled up and shot at him. Po dodged him again. He wasn't even going to waste his energy trying to hit him back. He had lost enough energy already. This whole thing was turning into one heck of an endurance match, and endurance was never really his strong suit.

Maybe there was another way. "Look Danzaburo, you don't have to do this. I know what happened to you. I know what you-"

"You know _nothing!_ " The pangolin rolled past him again, more aggressively this time, running over the panda's foot. While Po hopped on one foot in pain, "Dun" barreled straight into him, knocking him on his back. He just barely got out of the way in time to avoid being run over completely. "You don't even know about the fate of your own species, let alone mine!"

"Yeah, I do. They're all dead," Po replied, a bit miffed. "You didn't have to bring that up again."

He laughed bitterly. "As I said, you know nothing. Not about yourself, and certainly not about me. So spare me the heroic speech!"

"But, Danzaburo-"

He laughed again, louder. "You think that's my real name? It's a code name, given to me after a legendary tanuki from Japanese history. It's as fake as anything else about me." The pangolin rolled at him again, but as Po went to dodge, he jumped at the last second, trying to come down on top of him. Po raised his arms above his head and managed to catch him, but despite his strength, the guy wasn't exactly light.

"Then...what _is_ your real name?" He strained to ask.

Befitting his form, the spy's response was brief, and blunt. "No idea."

Po was so shocked he lost his grip for a moment, and "Dun" bowled him over again. The pangolin turned around and came at him yet again.

Welp, it was worth a shot. Why did the bad guys never listen to him?

It seemed that one way or another, he had to take him down. Just as he did in the Trial of Water, Po stood his ground and caught the spinning pangolin. With only slightly more difficulty, he threw him up into the air and watched as he came down on his backside, embedded in the stone of the arena, the real one. "Urrrgh! So this is how you bested Master Rolling Fortress before, is it? Very well then."

"Hold on, just stop this already! I-"

The smoke condensed and the scene changed again.

* * *

"Po! Po, where are you?!"

Mr. Ping ran around the crumbling arena frantically. Unfortunately, no one had found the time to fill him in on where his son was. This was making things difficult for Xingfu, who had entrusted herself to watch over the goose in Po's absence. "Mr. Ping, please slow down! I'm sure he's fine! You know how bodaciously awesome he is!" The vixen shrieked and launched a blast of wind to blow apart a rock that nearly flattened the goose. He didn't even seem to notice.

Firing wind behind her, she finally caught up with him, wrapping Ping up in her arms. He wasn't taking that without a fight and flailed widely, screaming for his son. "Please Mr. Ping, you have to calm down! Po will be fine, I promise! But he won't be fine if he comes back and finds that you've been flattened into a bird pancake!"

He slowly calmed down. "I...I know." Abruptly, the goose put his wings around her and sobbed into her shoulder. "Oh Po, why do you have to keep doing this to me?"

Xingfu felt a little uncomfortable, but at least she could keep him safe now.

She turned her head and caught sight of Zhi Ming standing several feet away. The tortoise was making no effort whatsoever to avoid the deadly rocks. "So the end of the world has come? Took it long enough."

Xingfu growled in frustration and ran after him. Was this how Po felt as a protector? She didn't think it was possible, but somehow she had come to appreciate the guy even more.

* * *

"Oh geez, why did you have to take me _here_?!"

Po didn't want to describe the place he was in now. Nevertheless, it was a darkened bedroom lit by only a few candles. That was not the disturbing part. The disturbing part was all the pictures, action figures, and merchandise of himself. Especially since half of them had distinct lipstick marks on them. It took little imagination to guess who's bedroom this was. "You know, I'm starting to think that _you're_ the stalker here."

"What are you talking about Po?" asked "Xingfu", smiling cheerfully. "I'm not a stalker, I'm your biggest fan!"

He shuddered. "Never do that again."

Her expression abruptly changed. "As you wish." Apparently prepared for this situation, she drew a pair of bladed war fans and charged.

Creepy as this was, Po remained focused and sidestepped the first slash, then ducked under another. He was starting to get really sick of all this. "So let me get this straight. You really don't remember your own _name_?"

"Xingfu" backed off and started circling him, looking for an opening to strike. "I remember what is necessary. I remember my clan, my parents, and our history. My own identity has no meaning anymore. Ironic, isn't it? The one person I know least about is myself."

Po frowned in sympathy, which the spy evidently mistook for pity. "Xingfu" started shooting wind blast after wind blast at him with little attention to where they were going. And even though they were all missing, she didn't let up, only getting more frantic. "I don't need a name! I don't need emotions! I don't need an identity! I don't need _anything_ except my knowledge!"

Po took the last attack head on, but held his ground. "You want some knowledge? Then know this: the Dragon Warrior is about to lay the smackdown!" Po jumped over the last blast and landed a flying kick directly in her chest.

As the vixen flew back and hit the ground, it seemed that Danzaburo had reached his limit. Po saw the smoke shield around them shudder, then dissipate completely. Before he knew it, they were back at the Jade Palace arena. Not that they had ever technically left in the first place.

Danzaburo, back in tanuki form, was down on one knee, breathing heavily. Po approached him, cautiously.

"Soooooo...ready to surrender yet _?_ "

He glared.

* * *

Monkey dashed around the arena wildly, only partially focusing on the evacuation. His real concern was with his friend Mantis, who had completely disappeared after failing to hit Danzaburo during the trial. "Mantis?! Mantis, buddy, where are you?!"

"Down...here..."

Monkey stopped. "Mantis, is that you?! I can hardly hear you over the crowd! You sound all muffled!"

"Get...off me..."

"Get off? What do you mean by-oh, whoops!" Monkey lifted his foot, finding a thoroughly buried Mantis underneath. "Buddy, I'm so sorry!"

"No no, it's okay. I'm used to getting stepped on."

Monkey gingerly lifted him out of the self-made crater. "How did you survive?"

"Tough exoskeleton, and because I refuse to die by anything other than head-eating. So what'd I miss?"

"The mountain is collapsing, Danzaburo escaped, Po went after him, and now everyone's helping to evacuate the spectators. Like, literally everyone."

"Po did what now?"

"Yeah, it wasn't too smart, but that's Po for you. I wouldn't worry about him though. Not when he has great friends like us on his side."

* * *

Po ducked as "Mantis" flew over his head. The bug managed to hit a single nerve point in his shoulder, making his right arm go numb. While he tried to bring it back to life, "Viper" wrapped around his legs and tripped him. Po raised his good arm and fended off a flurry of punches and kicks from "Monkey", taking several blows to the face in the process. He grabbed hold of the simian's tail and flung him into the air. He barely got back up when "Crane" dove down at him, beak-first. Po fell back, letting the bird fly over him, then shot back up and kicked him in the stomach, sending him back to the ground. He readied himself as "Tigress" charged at him, launching her signature double-palm strike. Po struck first, nailing the spy in the face and knocking him back into tanuki form.

Danzaburo staggered a bit, weak, but still standing. "I...will...not...surrender!"

Po was tackled to the ground by the fearsome feline form of "Tai Lung". Blocking the leopard's frenzied attacks as best he could, Po finally got feeling in his other arm back and smacked him across the muzzle, then shifted momentum to roll on top and flatten him. He didn't get to celebrate for long as he felt a sharp pain in his belly. He yelped and jumped off of the sharpened talons of "Shen", then dodged those same talons as they came at him in a series of kicks. Po grabbed his leg and turned him around, only to get the peacock's tail feathers in his face. When he shoved the feathers out of the way, the "Wolf Boss" attempted to bite him. Po grabbed the lupine by the jaw and clamped it shut, then shot his leg up to punt him straight into the air. The wolf went flying up, and the tanuki came back down to meet the ground.

He was clearly exhausted now, but Danzaburo stayed on his feet and snarled viciously. "Just _die_ already!"

He only had the energy left for one more transformation, but he made it count. Po was now facing an identical copy of...himself. "Get ready to feel the thunder! Wait, I'm from Japan, so how about you get ready to feel the sun! ...No, that doesn't have the right feeling to it. Just sounds like I want to give ya sunburn. Okay okay, I got it. Get ready to feel the sunder!"

Po was horrified. "I do _not_ talk like that!"

Po and Po squared off, walking around each other slowly. But given how impatient he was, this couldn't hope to last for very long.

And it didn't.

"SHAKABOOEY!" they both shouted, leaping at each other and striking with their bellies. The two pandas bounced off of each other and landed back on the ground.

"FEET OF FURY!" They charged forward and assaulted each other with a rapid-fire stream of kicks. Again, they were merely deflected off of each other.

They came at each other one more time, both extending a paw towards their adversary.

"SKADO-"

They froze in place. Po and Danzaburo looked at each other apprehensively, having each ensnared the other in the Wuxi Finger Hold. Their pinkies were raised, ready to come down at any moment. "Oh, so you know this hold?" Po asked, sighing. "Fantastic."

"I don't understand!" Danzaburo growled. "I know your style, your techniques, your ridiculous catchphrases! How is it that I cannot find a form to defeat you, Dragon-san?!"

"That's the thing. It's not about the knowledge," Po smiled. "You think you can just carbon copy someone's kung fu and become an instant master? Sorry buddy, it takes a lot more work than that. Work, and real, actual experience. You just can't fake being a kung fu master, no matter how hard you try."

"How dare you-!"

"Don't believe me? Then let me show ya an example." Po was outright grinning now. "For one, even if you do manage to beat me, I bet you'll never beat the one opponent even _I_ have never overcome."

"Is that so?" Danzaburo asked, laughing. "And who would this 'opponent' be?"

Po glanced over the spy's shoulder. " _The stairs._ "

"...What?"

Without warning, Po raised his leg and kicked the other panda square in the belly with enough force to propel him backwards. Danzaburo flew through the doors of the arena, hit the thousand stairs, bounced off, then bounced off again...and again...and again...

It was an endless shower of pain and humiliation. And now he couldn't even change forms. "HOW! DO! YOU! STOOOOOOP?!"

"What, you don't know that?"

Po watched as Danzaburo bounced down the stairs and out of sight, his screams echoing up the mountain. "And _that's_ how it's done!"

* * *

"We did it!"

Viper cheered as she and the Five came back together. The mountain had finally crumbled for good, now nothing more than a pile of harmless rubble. "One of the sacred Wu Dan Mountains...gone," Shifu sighed, shaking his head. He turned to his students and smiled. "You have done well. Thanks to your efforts, the civilians have all been evacuated safely."

"Thank you, Master," Tigress bowed. "But it was not just us that helped out."

"Of course not," said the Emperor. Behind him, the other competitors and ex-competitors (and Mr. Ping) were gathered, along with Rooster and Mei Ling. "China thanks you for your great service today. We are in your debt." Getting any kind of recognition from the Emperor was an unfathomable honor, and so they all bowed back to him in respect. Yes, even Kuai.

"Hey, where's Po?" asked Yin Bei, worried. "He did make it out okay, didn't he?"

"Po!" Shifu gasped, whirling back around on the Five. "There is no time for celebration! We must hurry back to the Jade Palace at once! He needs our help!" Shifu paused as he took notice of the palace once more. The giant cloud he had seen before was gone, and now he could see nothing at all over there. The sight filled him not with dread, but with a profound sense of peace.

He smiled. "Actually...no. I don't think he does."

* * *

Back at the Jade Palace, there was indeed nothing of interest happening. Nothing except a very sore panda trudging slowly down the stairs, being extra careful not to trip.

For at the bottom of those stairs, lying amidst a rain of falling leaves, was a beaten, battered, and unconscious tanuki.

* * *

 _There? See? Solid subplot resolution. You can put the pitchforks and torches away now._

 _First off, massive thanks to all the authors of the guest OC's for directly and indirectly giving me everything I needed to do the single craziest fight scene I will probably ever write. It is much appreciated._

 _Durak - Fool or moron._

 _Despite his general jackassery, Kuai does genuinely care for Dun and Mei Ling. This is his one redeemable quality._

 _Bet you thought I had no more surprises left, huh? I've wanted to delve more into Danzaburo's backstory for a while now, but never really had the opportunity to do so before. I admit this revelation wasn't foreshadowed very much. The only points I can think of were in Chapter 9, where he tells Tigress that she may "call him" Danzaburo, and throughout Chapter 16, which isn't so much HIS backstory as the tanuki clan's. He's also blatantly lying to himself about not feeling emotions._

 _The next update will be my new KFP3 fic. Look forward to that. And the movie itself of course. :)_


	37. Chapter 36: Aftermath

_It's back! Sorry to keep you waiting while I started on Shen vs. Kai, and especially sorry to give you such a short, uneventful chapter after all of that._

 _Hope you like it anyway. :)_

* * *

Chapter 36: Aftermath

"Looks like the Dragon Warrior won."

On a cliff overlooking the Valley of Peace, a figure in a black cloak peered through a telescope. A similar figure stood behind them, crossing their arms impatiently. "Lovely. So what do we do now?"

"I think we're supposed to move on to Plan B."

"Which is...?"

"Geez, weren't you paying attention? Even _I_ remembered it!"

"Just tell me one thing: does this plan involve killing people?"

"Yep!"

"Good enough for me. Let's go."

The two figures leapt away and disappeared, leaving no trace that they had ever even been there.

* * *

The rest of the day was fairly quiet. As it should be, considering the chaos they had all just gone through. While most of the masters and competitors had immediately headed back to the Shushi Inn for a much-needed rest, Shifu, the Emperor, and the Five made a beeline back to the Jade Palace. Just because they had faith in Po's abilities, that didn't mean they weren't concerned regardless.

So imagine how silly they all felt when they found Po grinning cheekily at the bottom of the thousand stairs, holding a defeated Danzaburo by the tail. The tanuki looked like a complete mess, his fur matted and sticking out all over the place, his eyes half-lidded, and his mouth leaf hanging limp. Frankly, it was impressive he could still hold it at all. "I present to you, the spy of a thousand scents," Po said proudly.

"Hold on, how do we know this is the real deal?" Monkey asked, understandably skeptical.

In response, Tigress walked up and promptly punched the spy in the face. He groaned in pain and glared weakly back at her, but his form did not change. "Satisfied?"

"Very." The Emperor stepped forward. "And now that that's settled..." From out of nowhere, he drew a knife and attempted to drive it into Danzaburo's throat.

"WOAH!" Po quickly yanked the tanuki out of the way. "What are you doing?!"

"What does it look like I'm doing?!" he snarled hatefully. "I am avenging Master Golden Gibbon, Master Bludgeoning Rhino, Chaonao, and everyone else this monster has murdered! Get out of my way!"

Shifu and the Five looked between each other anxiously, unsure what to do in this situation. They had hoped the lion's desire for revenge would've passed by now, but that was clearly not the case.

"Now hold on, don't you think you're being a bit hasty?" Po asked nervously. "I know he's done some pretty awful stuff, but that's not all his fault! He's been totally brainwashed by that Daimyo guy!"

"I might have been willing to reconsider before," the lion said, "but any chance of mercy has crumbled along with that mountain! Now give him to me!"

"No." He heard the others gasp in horror and realized that he had just refused a direct order from the Emperor of China. It was an offense punishable by death, and yet he found that he didn't care. "Look, you can have me beheaded if you want, but I am _not_ letting you kill him."

A long silence passed between them. Shifu and the Five looked at Po with a mixture of awe and dread. Danzaburo just looked plain confused. "Yeah, bet ya didn't think I would do _that_ either."

The Emperor didn't lower the knife, but he hesitated just slightly. "And what do you suggest we do instead? Lock him up? How long do you think it will take for someone like _him_ to slip out?"

"We won't let him," Po said confidently. "And to be honest, I don't see him trying to escape anyway. They're gonna know he failed his mission by now. He doesn't really have anywhere else to go." Danzaburo looked away. "Please, Your Highness. Think of the good he could do if we're able to reform him. At least give him a chance." Po put on his best "sad puppy eyes" and stared at him.

Finally, the lion dropped the knife to the ground and shook his head. "I don't understand you, Dragon Warrior. I really don't." He looked into his eyes. "But after seeing all that you have done so far...I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt." Po started to sigh in relief when he continued. "However, this matter is now on _your_ head. If Danzaburo proves incapable of reform, or worse, commits any more criminal acts, I will send him to the gallows immediately and hold you responsible. Do you understand?"

He didn't think anyone but Po would have answered as quickly as he did. "Yes."

"Very well." He turned to the Five. "Get him out of my sight."

Tigress roughly took Danzaburo from Po and carried him off, the rest of the Five keeping a close eye on him. It proved unnecessary, as the spy made no effort whatsoever to resist. He just kept staring at Po like he was some kind of mythical creature. He didn't expect him to say anything, but just before he got out of hearing range, he did.

"Thank you...Dragon-sama."

That was when he knew for sure that this was worth it.

* * *

By that evening, everyone was filled with questions for Po about what exactly happened in that arena. Likewise, Po was gushing over how the masters and competitors had all worked together to evacuate the civilians. But the one question no one asked, as it almost seemed tacky at this point, was what would happen to the Wu Xing Tournament now.

Thankfully, no one had to ask. They found out as soon as they were called in to the local hospital that night.

"By the gods, Bei!" Viper gasped as she slithered up to the snow hare's side. The girl didn't look particularly injured, but she was passed out on a cot and didn't look like she would be waking up anytime soon.

"What happened to her?" Shifu asked.

Master Rooster, who had refused to leave this room since he got here, shook his head in frustration. "She pushed herself too far. Using the Eyes of Truth really took it out of her already, but then she continued exerting herself trying to get to that flag, and then helping with the evacuation...it was too much. She just conked out on the way back to the inn."

"Dang. She tried so hard to win too," said Mantis, shaking his head.

"Yes...about that." For the first time since the Danzaburo deal, the Emperor spoke up. It was actually pretty impressive how unnoticeable the guy could be sometimes. "I _should_ tell you how the rest of the tournament is going to play out now."

"It's still going to run?" Tigress asked. "After all that?"

"It only happens once every fifty years. It's going to take a lot more than an exploding mountain to put the lid on it."

"But the trial wasn't even finished," Monkey pointed out. "There was only one winner."

"I am aware of that. Under these circumstances, the normal protocol would be to pass every competitor straight to the final trial and let them settle it there. Unfortunately..." He looked down at the unconscious hare. "...it seems Master Silent Hare is no longer able to compete."

"No..." Viper whispered, looking down.

"Seriously? That's totally unfair!" Po protested. "Come on, wasn't she like right next to the flag? You can't pull some leeway here?"

"I cannot. And sadly, Dragon Warrior, you too will be unable to compete."

"WHAT?!" he and everyone else shouted.

The lion sighed. "Leaving the arena for any reason is grounds for instant disqualification. It's not fair, but I'm afraid the rules do not account for bombs or homicidal spies. Even _my_ hands are tied on this matter. I'm sorry."

"At least you saved China," Monkey tried to cheer him up.

"No good deed goes unpunished," said Mantis. "Are you _sure_ you don't want to kill Danzaburo?"

Po was saddened for a grand total of five seconds before he managed to smile again. "It's okay, guys. It's just a tournament."

Shifu nodded. "You truly are one of a kind."

"Hold on a minute," Tigress said. "So if Po and Yin Bei are both out of the running, that means the only ones left to compete are..."

"Me and Kuai," Crane finished, his eyes narrowed. "Honestly, I couldn't ask for it any other way."

He found himself instantly wrapped up in a hug from Po. "Good luck buddy! Kick that cheetah's butt for us!"

"Urk! Sure...as long as you don't break me in half first."

* * *

The remaining days before the final trial, the Trial of Fire, passed by quickly. It was no surprise really. Not having to worry about some Japanese spy ruining the event anymore had a funny way of making everything seem a lot smoother. It also helped that no one at the Jade Palace was even in the competition anymore aside from Master Crane. It made the whole period refreshingly quiet.

It was now the final day that the Emperor would be staying in the palace. Grandmaster Shifu was not one to pass up the opportunity to speak to him in private as he sat beside the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom. "Ah, welcome. What brings you here, Grandmaster?"

"You can't hide it from me, you know," Shifu said, sitting down next to him.

"Hide what?"

"Your resentment. I know you're not over Danzaburo yet, no matter how much you try to pretend otherwise."

He frowned and turned away. "Of course I'm not over him. He took one of my best friends away from me. No matter what he tells us, no matter what good he may accomplish, I'm not sure I will ever forgive him."

"And no one expects you to. Not even Po," Shifu said sympathetically. "I held on to my own resentment for years, and all that got me was a bad limp and a bitter outlook. All you can do is let it go. Trust me, that will save you a lot of pain in the long run."

"You're right," he sighed. "It's what Master Gibbon would have wanted..."

"We will prepare a proper ceremony for those who have been lost, don't worry."

"That would be nice. Thank you."

Shifu hesitated to say anything more, but there was still something that had been nagging at him for a while now.

"By the way...there is something I've been meaning to ask you, Your Highness. About this whole tournament."

"An appropriate time as any to ask, Grandmaster. What is it?"

"Why is it backwards?"

He was not surprised that the lion understood him perfectly. "So you noticed? Yes, the Wu Xing cycle, the cycle this tournament was named after, is the exact reverse of how these trials are actually ordered."

"But why?"

He chuckled. "No one is sure why the tournament was built this way, but I have two main theories. One, the Wu Xing tournament is, above all else, a test of our individual capabilities. And so the reverse cycle is meant to symbolize a return to the beginning, to serve as a reminder of where we came from and how our personal journey began. How we have grown to be able to compete in such an event at all."

Shifu nodded in understanding. It certainly sounded like something Master Oogway would come up with if he were involved. "And your other theory?"

"Someone drank too much and got the whole thing ass backwards."

"...I like the first one more."

"I figured you would."

Shifu grabbed a pair of peaches off of the tree and handed one to the Emperor. "Let us toast then. To one final trial."

He smiled. "And may the best warrior win."

They bit into their peaches.

* * *

For obvious reasons, imprisoning Danzaburo was easier said than done. The Emperor had naturally insisted on the strongest, most well-guarded prison in the country, but Po had a different idea, suggesting the Valley's own dinky little jail instead. Everyone thought he had finally lost it until they saw his plans for Danzaburo's cell.

Po was a naturally trusting person, but contrary to popular belief, he wasn't an idiot.

He knew that in order to make this work, they had to both construct a prison that no animal on the face of the Earth could escape from, and fill it with strong-willed guards who would not easily be swayed by illusions or trickery. But they managed it. The spy of a thousand scents now meditated in the interior of an airtight room, oxygen pumped in through small pipes full of deadly spinning blades, and sealed shut by glass walls strong enough to resist ten gorillas. Po, Shifu, and the Five were each scheduled to come in and supervise him regularly, and to remind the guards not to slip up. He had to admit, even in his endless pool of cunning known as a mind, he could see no way out.

Or at least, not _yet._ He was sure something would come to him eventually.

He just wasn't sure if he wanted it to. This wasn't so bad really. He had all the privacy he could ask for now. He could take any form he chose, even if none would help him escape. He could do anything he wanted to in here, with no need to worry about missions or deadlines or the Daimyo. Hell, the Daimyo either thought he was dead or had sent out orders to _make_ him dead. That was the final nail in the coffin for any sense of loyalty he had to the man.

Oh, he already decided he was going to sing like a bird. He expected the Chinese would be quite shocked by how easily he gave up this information. Or at least, most of them would be. He really had no idea how Po would react. The Dragon Warrior truly was an enigma, one that despite his best efforts, he couldn't quite solve. No matter how much he learned about him, that panda still managed to surprise him time and time again. He expected that Po would chase him back to the Valley, but not that he would actually win. He expected that Po might try to spare him, but not that he would go to such lengths as risking his own life to do so. Such an individual was truly fascinating.

It was no wonder the Daimyo had been so interested in him in the first place. He wondered again how Po would react if he knew that this entire mission had been primarily to gather information on _him_ , this lone panda who had caused such a massive paradigm shift in the martial arts world. The Daimyo believed that someone like this could pose a threat to him in the future, and now Danzaburo believed this too. Well, if his mission was to learn everything about the Dragon Warrior, he had clearly failed. And now he was thankful that he had. He used to think that the only way he could preserve the legacy of the tanuki clan was to continue doing his duty, but now he finally saw another option open up to him.

Danzaburo smiled to himself. He may have been in prison, but he felt more free than he had in decades.

* * *

 _Danzaburo's honorific for Po gradually changes over the course of the story, from "kun", to "san", and finally "sama"._

 _I bet all of you completely forgot about the "reverse Wu Xing cycle", huh? That's something I brought up about twenty chapters ago, but I wasn't sure if I would ever get around to actually explaining it. You can choose whichever explanation you like more, though of course, the actual one is that I myself got it ass backwards and just decided to roll with it._


	38. Chapter 37: The Trial of Fire

_Yep, just one intermission chapter for you this time. We're too close to the end to be fooling around anymore. If you want an estimate, my goal is to make this story forty chapters, plus the prologue and epilogue._

* * *

Chapter 37: The Trial of Fire

By the time the final trial came around, everyone had completely calmed down. Despite knowing that Crane would be settling their shared grudge with Kuai today, those who no longer competed were perfectly content to just sit back and enjoy the show.

Of course, Crane himself was a different story. For someone who was supposed to be the calm and relaxed one, the bird was training with an almost manic dedication. He had completely taken over the training hall, even to the point of skipping meals. Eventually, _Tigress_ of all people had to come in and tell him he was overdoing it for him to finally settle down. It was hard to blame him, though. They all knew that there was an immense amount of pressure on the guy. He was representing the entire Jade Palace in one, single match.

But that wasn't even the biggest worry. What they didn't know was that Crane had made a promise to Mei Ling, and he couldn't even imagine how he could ever make it up to her if he broke it.

He was tempted to think that this would be an easy fight. After all, Reidak had come extremely close to beating Kuai already, only losing because of the cheetah's underhanded tactics. Then he remembered that he was not Reidak. He had no easy way to counter Fleetfoot, and he knew how spam-happy Kuai was with that technique. All he could do was try his best.

He only hoped that his best would be good enough.

* * *

The arena itself sure didn't inspire his well-known sense of confidence. When they heard they were heading for the Trial of Fire, they didn't expect it to be quite so...literal.

The arena was inside of a large, metal building, completely covered aside from a few exits. It soon became apparent why the exits were necessary as the place was a gigantic fire hazard. A ring of stands surrounded the main arena, which lied in a pit below. The room had so little outside lighting that it would have been almost pitch dark if not for the fire itself. By some miraculous feat, the tournament staff had somehow managed to install an actual pool of lava into the center of the arena, with a wide, stone pillar sitting in the middle of it. Various creases and coverings in the pillar made Crane certain that even this wasn't the full extent of the danger, but he supposed _that_ knowledge would come to him in time, likely in the most painful way possible.

On the wall overlooking the entrance, a set of torches formed the Chinese character:"火". No points for guessing what it stood for.

For a moment, Crane and his allies just stood there in the entrance, gaping. "...Wow, uh, good luck," Mantis said, giving the bird a supportive tap on the shoulder. By the rules of the tournament, support was all they could give him. He was on his own.

But as his friends walked away to take their seats, he felt Mei Ling come up behind him. "So, today's the big day, huh? The day you become Wu Xing Champion?"

"Er...yes." He wanted to slap himself. _Was that really the best response I could come up with?_

"Hey, no worries, right? You've got wings."

"Right..." Crane bitterly noted that land animals tended to overvalue wings. It wasn't like they weren't flammable.

Mei Ling patted him on the back. "Alright, I gotta go. If Kuai finds out I was over here helping you, he's gonna be _pisssssed._ "

"I have a feeling he's gonna be pissed anyway." Crane turned around and found the feline no longer behind him. Just as well. He didn't really want her to see him freaking out anymore. He faced the arena again and took a deep breath, lowering his hat over his eyes. This was going to suck.

* * *

As the masters all sat themselves into the stands, they unsurprisingly found the Emperor there waiting for them. What _was_ surprising was that he immediately called Shifu away for another private discussion, back next to the entrance.

"Is there a problem?" asked Shifu, a natural pessimist.

"Yes, though not exactly on the level of our previous ones," the lion said, looking somewhat embarrassed. "You see, it just occurred to me that the tournament is rather lacking in the host department right now." Shifu frowned. Indeed, thanks to a certain tanuki's efforts, one host was dead, and the other in prison. "Given the relative simplicity of this particular trial, a replacement for the late Master Bludgeoning Rhino should not be necessary. However, as much as it pains me to say it, the crowd rather liked Chaonao."

"Even after he tried to kill them?"

He shrugged. "That's show business for you."

"And I suppose telling them it was never actually Chaonao wouldn't help?"

"Unless you want to cause another riot, no."

Shifu sighed. He really shouldn't have to deal with things like this anymore. "I hope you're not asking me to be his replacement. I'm not exactly known for being charismatic."

"I _am_ , but it wouldn't be proper for the Son of Heaven to reduce himself to commentating a sporting event. The royal court would never let me hear the end of it."

"Then what should we-?"

"OOH! OOH! OOOOH!"

It continuously amazed him how Po did stuff like this. He knew for a fact that the panda didn't have anywhere near his level of hearing, and yet he doubted that he himself could have overheard this conversation from the stands, or covered that amount of distance so quickly. "Can I do it?!" Po asked, hopping up and down excitedly.

The Emperor looked amused, clearly not being the one who had to live with him on a daily basis. "I admire your spirit Dragon Warrior, but you lack the experience..."

"I've had plenty of experience, Your Highness," he said, respectfully mellowing out. "Trust me, I've heard more than enough of the parrot's commentary to do a good performance."

He thought it over for a moment, then nodded. "Alright. I have already given you the rights to Danzaburo's care, I might as well give you his former role as well. Besides, I think the audience will appreciate the Dragon Warrior being the one to end this off."

"Well you can't possibly do any _worse_ ," Shifu conceded.

"YES! I won't let you down!" Po jumped with glee and ran off to prepare. The lion and red panda watched him leave, hoping they hadn't just made a terrible mistake.

* * *

Crane knew it was time to go by the way a pair of rhino guards practically threw him onto the stone pillar. He hadn't realized he had just been standing there. His old stage fright was starting to return in full-force.

" _Laaaaaaadies and gentlemen, are you ready for the Trial of Fire?! You had BETTER be ready, because this is going to be_ _pure, off-the-rails, AWESOMENESS!"_

Crane did a double-take. If anything could snap him out of his funk, Po sitting on the sidelines and screaming into a funnel was certainly it.

"I have to admit, he's not bad," said Monkey, leaning back in his seat.

"Yeah, but if he starts squawking, I'll have to smack him," Mantis added.

 _"In the red corner, hailing from the Jade Palace, it's the Windy Warrior, the Avian Avatar, the Bird of Butt-kicking, my good buddy, Master Craaaaaane!"_

The crowd cheered wildly, but Crane just hid himself under his hat, blushing. _Why me?_

 _"And in the blue corner, hailing from Lee Da Academy, it's the Conniving Cat, the Unfriendly Feline, the Yellow-and-Black Backstabber, and he's kind of a jerk too, it's Master Spotted Bluuuuu-"_ Po hunched over and started coughing uncontrollably. "Ugh. This is harder than it looks."

Crane saw Kuai step out onto the other end of the pillar, looking like he rather missed Chaonao. He could see Dun and a reluctant Mei Ling standing behind him for encouragement. He saw Mei Ling give him a silent wink and that was all he needed to boost his confidence. He was ready.

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" Kuai asked, glaring at him. "I know whose side my master is on, and it isn't mine." He looked away, and for a second, he was visibly saddened. He looked back at Crane, now glaring even more hatefully. "But that's just fine. I don't need anyone's help but my own." He pulled his goggles over his eyes and crouched down, looking more than ready to tear him apart. "Now bring it on, bird! I'll show ya who's gonna be champ!"

Crane finally lifted his hat above his eyes and glared back, falling into his own stance. He wasn't going to waste the energy exchanging banter with this guy. He had a promise to fulfill.

Po looked back and forth between them, absolutely giddy. "Oh this is _so_ cool." A long silence passed as he eagerly waited for the match to start. Then he remembered that he was the one who was supposed to start it. He hurriedly cleared his throat.

" _Nooooow, let the Trial of Supreme Awesomeness BEGIN!"_

* * *

 _Geez, and I thought the LAST chapter was short. I guess that's what happens when there's so few things left to resolve. More Shen vs. Kai next, but then...the end of the Wu Xing Tournament._


	39. Chapter 38: The Wu Xing Champion

_Well this one certainly took long enough._

 _I don't really have a good excuse for it either. To be completely honest, I'm getting pretty burned out on this story now that Danzaburo has left it, and especially now that I've started on SvK. Good thing it's so close to completion then._ _Speaking of which, small change of plans. I was originally going to split this fight into two chapters, but I couldn't really make it long enough to warrant that, so it's all stuffed into one now. That means only two chapters remain after this, the finale and the epilogue._

* * *

Chapter 38: The Wu Xing Champion

If there were any doubts in Crane's mind about just how seriously Kuai was taking this match, they were quelled when he instantly activated Fleetfoot and charged at him. Crane took the first blow of the match in about a tenth of a second, slamming into the wall of the arena. Not a good start.

 _"Woah! Er...it appears that Kuai-I mean Master Spotted Blur, has already taken the offensive! That was totally cheap...but also kind of cool. No offense, Crane!"_

Crane slowly pried himself out of the wall, trying not to look Mei Ling in the eye, or anyone in the audience for that matter. The only one he focused on right now was Kuai, now giving him his most condescending smirk yet. "You're not ready to give up already, are you Crane? Come on, I've barely had any fun yet."

He refused to let himself be affected by Kuai's taunts and simply shot a blast of wind at him, without even calling it out first. Distracted by his own ego, the cheetah didn't even come close to avoiding it, and he was thrown into the opposite wall. "Urgh...okay, it's on!"

Both fighters returned to the pillar in the middle of the arena and attacked simultaneously. Crane struck out with one of his wings while Kuai performed a roundhouse. As the two limbs struck each other, Crane flapped his wings to back away. Kuai disappeared in a blur and instantly caught up to him, making a slash at him with his claws. Crane anticipated the attack and deflected the claws with his wings, then boosted straight up, trying to catch his breath. Kuai may have had the advantage in speed, but Crane had it in height.

 _"Awesome maneuver, Crane! Let's see that jerk run on air! I-I mean, brilliant maneuver by Master Crane! Master Spotted Blur looks to be in trouble!"_

"Hardly." Kuai backed up until he was at the very edge of the pillar, then shot forward and jumped, the sheer momentum of his speed carrying him into the air.

 _"Holy crap, he can fly too?!"_

Crane was caught off-guard and tackled out of the air. He hit the stone surface of the pillar and slid to the edge, his long neck bending over the side. He gulped as he saw his hat fall off and land in the boiling lava below, being turned to ash in an instant. "What's the matter?" Kuai laughed. "If you can't take the heat, get out of the competition!"

Crane's beak shot up and nailed Kuai in the forehead, cracking his goggles and stunning him enough for Crane to slip his skinny legs underneath and kick him off. Kuai rolled along the surface for a bit and regained his footing, pounding one fist on the ground in frustration.

* * *

"Hey, this isn't going so bad," Mantis noted watching the fight. "Crane's doing better than expected."

"And what do you mean by _that_ ," Viper asked, hissing at him. "You didn't bet against Crane, did you?"

"What? No, no!" Mantis put one tiny appendage to his thorax as if he were seriously offended. "I can't believe you would even suggest-" Viper glared. "Okay, yes. My bad! Learning the folly of my ways right now!"

"Wow, really?" Monkey chuckled. "Even _I_ wouldn't sink that low."

"Only because you bet _on_ Crane," Mantis pointed out.

"What did I say about gambling?" Shifu scolded them. "We'll see how 'entertaining' you find cleaning out the latrines." He took a special kind of satisfaction in seeing their faces fall.

"Well, those of use who are actually being _supportive_ think that he's doing pretty well too," said Tigress. "Don't you agree, Your Highness?"

The Emperor was unnervingly quiet. "...Your Highness?" Shifu pressed, setting aside his students' punishments for later.

"Master Crane is performing admirably, yes." A frown formed on the lion's muzzle. "Though I worry if that will last."

"What do you mean?"

Only a few seconds later, he found out.

* * *

 _"The battle is raging on, as Crane and Spotted Blur clash like the legendary masters that one of them actually is! Look forward to more...what's that sound?"_

Both Crane and Kuai looked down as the pillar started to rumble beneath their feet. They watched in horror as the entire thing suddenly split apart, creating four pie-shaped blocks for them to fight on. "What, this fight wasn't dangerous enough?" Crane asked dryly.

Kuai looked around uneasily. "I knew this tournament was unconcerned with our safety, but I didn't think it was actually _trying_ to kill us!"

Crane realized that this might actually benefit him. Kuai couldn't effectively use Fleetfoot under these circumstances, while he still had wings.

Okay, so maybe Mei Ling had a point there.

 _"Yikes! I'm...actually kind of glad I'm not in this anymore! I do NOT trust my sense of balance around all of that fiery death!"_

Crane lifted off into the air again and dove down at Kuai. To his surprise, the cheetah stood his ground, not even attempting to dodge. He figured he was just planning to take the blow, until he found himself missing his target completely and flying straight towards the wall. He just barely stopped himself in time, and whirled around in the air to see Kuai still standing in the exact same position he was in before, now with his back to him. Confused, Crane dove at him again and again hit nothing but air.

"How are you doing that?" Crane asked, still seeing no sign of movement.

"You really need to learn to stop underestimating me," Kuai said, chuckling to himself. "You see, I'm-"

 _"Wait, I totally get it! He's standing in one spot, but moving his upper body out of the way so quickly that it looks like he's not moving at all!"_

"Yes," Kuai spat through clenched teeth. _"That_."

"So now what?" asked Crane, unimpressed. "We're stuck in a stalemate?"

"Only until this pillar closes up again and I have more running room," Kuai responded smugly. "So why don't you just take a time out before I get to kick your feathered butt again." Crane responded with another wind attack. He saw Kuai's body ripple ever so slightly as the wind failed to budge him. Annoyed, Crane touched down on the opposite pillar and the two rivals silently glared at each other.

 _"Looks like we've got a silent staredown, the perfect prelude to any epic battle! Though this is happening in the MIDDLE of the epic battle, so it's actually a bit underwhelming."_ A few moments passed. _"Eesh, Chaonao was right. This IS boring! Come on Crane, don't you have any brilliant ideas to get around this?!"_

He wished that he did. He could practically feel the crowd's disappointment, not to mention Mei Ling's, if he just sat here and waited this out. But what could he do? Kuai had proven himself nigh-impossible to hit if he only focused on dodging, and the arena had now made that his only option.

Or did it? Maybe the arena could help him after all.

Crane suddenly flew up again, startling Kuai, who calmed down after seeing him fire another wind attack. "Didn't learn the first time, huh?" He focused his chi and prepared to Fleetfoot out of the way again.

He realized too late that the gust was not aimed at him. It instead struck the pool of lava right below him, splashing a small amount of the molten substance up onto the platform. Of course, a small amount of lava was still enough to fry his toes to a crisp, and so Kuai instinctively jumped up as high as he could to avoid it.

"Gotcha."

"Wha-OOF!"

Kuai just barely lifted off the ground when Crane barreled into him in midair. The feline was catapulted up even higher, and Crane used his dominion over the sky to fly ahead of him and knock him back down. He repeated this over and over again, knocking him all over the airspace like a volleyball. Unable to reach solid ground, Kuai was helpless to avoid the assault.

 _"Yeah, that's right! Birds rule the air! Suck on that, Kuai! Uh...I mean, Master Spotted Blur has lost his tactical advantage! Can Master Crane keep up the pace? I'm impartial, really!"_

"Enough already!" Kuai yelled, and as Crane came in again, he suddenly wrapped his legs tightly around the bird's torso, sending them both falling back towards the arena.

"Are you crazy?!" Crane yelled. "You're going to fry us both!"

"Nope." He smiled cruelly, bring back one of his fists. Now with a solid foundation to hold on to, he spun his arm around in lightning-fast circles, building up momentum. "Just you." He drove that fist as hard as he could into Crane's left wing.

There was a loud screech of agony as Crane's wing was broken instantly.

It was followed by an equally loud cackle from Kuai. "Aww, looks like the birdie has a clipped wing! Good luck with that!" He untangled himself from Crane and kicked off, landing on the edge of the stands. Crane however, plummeted straight towards the open pool of lava in the center of the four blocks.

 _"Can you stop breaking peoples' limbs already?! It is NOT cool, and-Crane, look out!"_

The bird remained unresponsive. The stone mechanism did not.

 _"It's okay, the pillar's closing."_ Po took another look, realizing that it wasn't closing fast enough to catch Crane, but would instead crush him to death in gruesome fashion. _"OH CRAP, THE PILLAR'S CLOSING!"_

"CRANE!" Mei Ling screamed desperately.

Finally, Crane regained his senses, but found himself unable to fly himself out of there, especially with only one wing. Straining himself, he managed to shoot a weak gust of wind at the ground, just enough to halt his descent for a second, allowing the pillar to finish closing up. He landed hard on top of it, but that extra bruising was so much better than the alternative.

"Ugh. You really don't know when to quit, do ya?" Kuai leapt down from the stands and landed on the other end of the pillar. As he did, he gave a pointed glare to Mei Ling, who looked away in response. "Nice to know you still have _my_ master to back you up."

 _"I'm pretty sure Master Shifu's on his side too."_

"Not the point!" Kuai turned back to Crane, looking more hateful than ever. "Look at you. You're in so much pain you can barely stand, and yet you've still got everyone cheering for you. What a joke." He laughed, completely humorlessly. Crane attempted to get back into his stance, but his legs wobbled from exhaustion and he fell down onto one knee. "Heh. This oughta be good." Kuai started towards him, extending his claws.

* * *

Mei Ling tried to hide how nervous she was through a mask of stoic calm, but she wasn't a doing a very good job considering she was standing right next to Dun, someone who had mastered such a mask. And even _he_ looked concerned. "They'll be fine," he said, knowing that she was worried for both of them even if Kuai didn't see it that way.

"Thanks," she said, though she still didn't take her eyes off of the arena. When she made Crane promise to take down Kuai, she didn't think it would get this...intense. She probably _should_ have, given how sadistic this tournament had been so far, but seeing Crane with a broken wing and trapped in mortal peril was giving her a whole new perspective on this.

"Um..." Dun twiddled his thumbs awkwardly. He wasn't exactly the most social person, unable to even hold a normal conversation, so trying to provide comfort was an extremely difficult task for him. He settled for just reaching over and putting his claws on the feline's shoulder.

She barely even noticed. _Be safe, you guys. I'm not willing to lose either of you._

* * *

Before Kuai could get much closer, there was another sudden rumbling, making them both look down. "Not again," they groaned in unison.

The pillar did not split apart again. No, what happened this time was even worse. The small stone coverings that littered its surface moved away, uncovering a series of small holes underneath. Just as Crane was starting to think that this setup looked familiar, jets of fire shot up out of a few of them. One was directly in front of Kuai, making the cheetah jump back in shock.

 _"Hey, we have one of those too! Except that ours isn't surrounded by a deadly moat of lava! Man, this tournament really IS hardcore!"_

Because Crane had dealt with such an obstacle before, he knew how to deal with it. Kuai didn't, and as he struggled to adjust to it, Crane landed another kick across his cheek, hard enough to leave a mark with his talons. "Why you...!" Kuai disappeared again. As Crane looked around nervously, Kuai kicked him in the back, knocking him over. He raised his arm to strike again, but a sudden fire jet forced him to dodge away. "All of this fire doesn't even matter! I'm so fast, it's barely touching me!"

Crane pushed himself back up, knowing that a new strategy would be needed to avoid being either beaten to a pulp or burned alive. _And to think, I could've been practicing calligraphy right now._

"Are you done gloating yet?" Crane tried to keep the nervousness out of his tone as he struggled to follow Kuai's movements.

"Nope! Still got some more! Hey Crane, are you 'waiting in the wings' for your chance to strike, or are you just going to 'wing it'? I bet you learned a lot under Shifu's 'wing'! Maybe even enough to win this 'on a wing and a prayer'!"

 _"So I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting kinda sick of the wing puns! Pretty impressive show of character from Crane though! Look at him, just standing there and taking it like a man! I probably would've flipped out a while-oop, there he goes."_

Crane sprang forward, putting himself in the perfect position to intercept Kuai as he tried to pass him. He grunted from the strain as the cheetah rammed into him, especially since he was forced to block him with only one wing. "Nice try," Kuai smiled, rearing his leg back for another kick. "But not nice enough!"

"Feeling toasty?"

"Wha-?"

Kuai felt his feet getting a lot hotter, and looked down to see that he was stepping directly on top of two fire jets, about to ignite. "GAH!" He jumped away quickly, but the erupting fire still burned his right foot badly, enough that the bandages were singed off and the fur was greatly blackened. Kuai screamed and blew out the remaining flames, trying not to show how much pain he was in, but failing miserably.

"That should even us up a bit," said Crane unsympathetically, still in the same position. A safe position for the time being.

 _"Serves you right! Now THAT is what being awesome is all about!"  
_

"I...hate...you...!" Kuai growled out between gasps of pain.

"Yeah, I got that."

The fire jets suddenly ended, the holes in the pillar closing back up again. Crane sighed in relief, glad to have made some use out of them at least.

And then the whole thing started shaking again.

* * *

"This is looking bad," Reidak commented, seeing the action though his own special way. His three children accompanied him in the stands, more than a little satisfied with Kuai's string of injuries. Payback was a bitch all right.

Speaking of, Xingfu was just as into it. "One less wing won't slow him down, Crane can take him on the ground! Go Crane! Go Crane! Go go Crane!" she cheered.

"I hope he's alright, "Yin Bei commented nervously, not even noticing that she had just responded to two relative strangers without a problem.

"Doom will befall them," Zhi Ming sighed, shaking his head in resignation. "The only certainty in life is the sweet embrace of death."

The mood of the other three ex-competitors quickly soured. "Who invited _this_ guy?" asked Reidak.

* * *

"What now?!"

To the finalists' horror, the rumbling just kept going, and as they saw the stands start to get gradually higher, they realized that the entire pillar was sinking. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

 _"So...just out of curiosity, what happens if this match ends in a draw? N-Not that I'm implying anything! Just...seems like a good question, that's all..."_

This sure would've been a great time to still have both wings. Crane didn't know if there was an actual time limit on this now, but he wasn't about to find out. Without even having much of a plan, he found himself charging across the room at Kuai and throwing a kick at his side.

"You're not beating me _that_ easily!" Only using one leg, Kuai still activated Fleetfoot and jumped to the side. He threw a kick at the ground and launched himself back into Crane, elbowing him in the side. Crane spread his wings, hurt as one of them was, and stopped himself from going over the edge. Kuai came at him again and unleashed a barrage of lightning-fast punches, breaking through the bird's meager defense and pushing him back even further, getting dangerously close to the pool of lava. One final punch nearly knocked him right over, but Crane just barely teetered on one of his skinny legs and remained uncharred.

"CRANE!" The cheetah whipped his head around and glared at his master, the Chinese golden cat who had yelled out again purely on reflex.

In this moment of distraction, Crane swept his good wing and knocked him back, giving him more ground room as the pillar continued to sink further and further. Kuai swept his leg out in a blur of motion. Crane jumped over the attack and struck Kuai with another kick to the face, this time shattering his goggles completely. Kuai bared his teeth and snarled hatefully. "What does she see in you?! Why do you get so much attention from her?! So _what_ if you made it into the Jade Palace?! So _what_ if you're one of the Furious Five?! WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT I DON'T?!"

"You really want to know?" the avian replied, perching up on one leg in perfect crane style formation.

 _"Uh...guys? Pillar's sinking! That's still a thing that's happening right now!"_

"Let's list them off." He raised his good wing and made a distinct "bring it" gesture. Kuai took the bait and charged with a swift slash of his claws. Despite how much pain he was in, Crane deflected the attack and struck back with a kick to the gut. "Fortitude."

Kuai feigned a stagger of exhaustion, then shot out with a punch when he thought Crane wasn't expecting it. He was, and easily dodged the blow. "Honor."

Crane grabbed Kuai in his talons, throwing him across the span of the pillar. The cheetah lost his balance and nearly went over the side, but Crane grabbed him again and pulled him back to safety. "Courtesy."

Steeling himself to endure the pain, Crane spread both wings wide. "And, oh yeah, a moveset that consists of more than one technique. Wings of Justice! CAW CAW!"

He brought his wings together, launching Kuai high into the air with a massive blast of wind. He heard the cheetah's screams echo through the arena and took a deep breath, calming himself. As he exhaled, Kuai came back down and slammed into the ground, hard. Knocked out on impact, Kuai lay sprawled out in the center of the pillar, his body bloodied, his goggles shattered, and his tongue hanging out unceremoniously. A moment later, the pillar finally stopped it's downward descent, mere inches above the lava. Crane didn't even look at his unconscious opponent. "I think that about covers it."

With Crane's nonchalant attitude, it took the audience a moment to process what just happened.

Once it hit them, everyone burst into wild applause.

 _"Holy crap guys, this is it! Master Crane has just won the Wu Xing Tournament! I can't believe I'm witnessing something so awesome! I...I think I'm tearing up! J-Just give me second!"_

The adrenaline finally wore off and Crane started to become aware of just close to death he had come. Not to mention how much pain he was in, suffering from multiple levels of agony not meant to be experienced by mortals. Especially from putting so much strain on his broken wing, which he estimated would be out of commission for quite some time. As he tried to come up with a way to escape the arena without being able to fly, he was suddenly glomped from behind by Mei Ling. "You did it!"

"Y-Yes, I did. Now can you please let go before I actually _do_ die?" Crane choked out, trying to keep himself from passing out in such an awkward position. The others would never let him hear the end of it.

"Sorry!" she immediately let go. "Are you okay?"

"Just peachy. What about Kuai?" For as much as he hated the spotted feline, he didn't want to seriously injure him.

Or rather he did, but no more than necessary.

Mei Ling walked over to Kuai's limp form and stared down at him. After taking a moment to check him over, she stood back up and nodded. "He's fine. The big drama queen will be up and raring to go in no time, hopefully with a bit more in the way of humility." She turned around and smiled back at Crane. "But don't worry about that! Let's get you home Mr. Wu Xing Champion!"

At those words, the rest of the Furious Five, Master Shifu, the Emperor, and even the other competitors, came down to congratulate him, every one of them crazy enough to not be concerned about their proximity to molten lava. As Crane found himself swamped with attention, he had to wonder if this was what true friendship was all about.

 _"I'm not crying! I just-I just got some smoke in my eyes! It's really...r-really...BWAAAAH! THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!"_

* * *

 _Phew! I feel like I've found some profound sense of peace now that I finally got off my lazy ass and finished this. Hopefully, the wait was worth it._

 _I'm afraid I don't have anything more in the way of footnotes this time, so look forward to the finale and epilogue chapters. I can't imagine those taking me nearly as long. :P_


	40. Chapter 39: Farewell to New Friends

_Okay, let's put this baby to bed...sort of. As I said before, this is the finale chapter, but there will still be a short epilogue just to give you a hint of what comes next. I'll save my closing thoughts until then, but for now, thank you to everyone for actually reading this through to the end. I didn't think I would ever write a fic this long, but somehow I managed it._

* * *

Chapter 39: Farewell to New Friends

Just like that, the Wu Xing Tournament was over. It almost felt anticlimactic how quickly the Valley's visitors cleared out after the Trial of Fire, as if the event had been the only interesting thing around. Only the Emperor's procession and those involved in the tournament were still here, and even they would be heading out shortly.

As for Master Crane, the Wu Xing Champion, he barely noticed any of this. From the moment he won, all through the night, and into the next morning, the bird was in a constant state of stunned euphoria, as if he couldn't believe that something this amazing had actually happened to him. The 1,000,000 yuan cash prize had been presented to him in front of the crowd, by the Emperor himself no less, but even that didn't compare to what he was feeling at this very moment, as Mei Ling bid farewell to him outside the Jade Palace.

"Crane, this really isn't necessary," the feline said, looking down at the sizable sack of money in her paws.

"Yes, it is. I never would have won this thing without your help. It's only fitting that you, and the academy, should get a cut," Crane insisted.

"A cut? This is more than _half."_

"Well I did say I wanted to buy some new calligraphy supplies too." He shrugged sheepishly.

"You did well," said Dun, standing behind his master. The pangolin had an uncharacteristically warm smile on his face.

So much so that Crane had a little trouble responding. "...Thanks."

"I think there's someone else who wants to congratulate you too." Mei Ling smiled, which quickly turned to a frown as she went unanswered. "KUAI!"

The cheetah stepped forward, limping slowly and keeping his head down. He shuddered in pain with each movement, but Mei Ling showed no sympathy and shoved him in front of her to face Crane. "Well?"

"Con...congratulations." Kuai recoiled, as if the word had physically hurt him.

"Thanks," he said again, chuckling.

The second Crane finished talking, Mei Ling shot forward and wrapped him up in a hug, a habit becoming way too frequent between them. As the feline hugged him, Crane could see Kuai and Dun over her shoulder, the former scowling and the latter giving him a thumbs-up.

It felt like the moment had barely started when it was over. Mei Ling let go and headed off, dragging her two students with her. "See ya back at the academy, Crane! You had better come visit more often! They talk about almost nothing but you as it is!"

"Don't worry, I will!" he shouted back.

Though maybe he would wait for the fame to cool down just a _little_ beat. He was never one for being the center of attention.

* * *

"So...see you around."

Tigress mentally slapped himself for the choice of words, but Reidak only laughed. The two tigers stood outside of the local hospital, the doctors having forced him to return after he worsened his injuries during the skirmish at the Trial of Earth. Not that he regretted it in the slightest. "Da. I doubt you'll have the time to visit _me_ anytime soon, so I'll keep in touch."

Reidak's offspring, Caesar, Xavier, and Tianna, were there as well, and there was no avoiding them this time. Their expressions, as they watched the former rivals say goodbye, were a mixture between sadness and anticipation. "Is there anything else you want to say?" Xavier pressed.

Tigress swallowed. "You were a true warrior Reidak, and...and I will miss your companionship."

"Anything _else?"_ Tianna asked impatiently.

Suddenly, she was reminded of something. "Actually, I believe you said something earlier, during the Trial of Earth. Something about me possibly 'not having a choice' about having a family?"

"Oh, now we're getting somewhere," Caesar said eagerly. All three tigers listened in closely.

"Ah yes, that." Reidak nodded, smirking to himself a little. "What I meant is that _this_ kind of thing..." he gestured to his children, "...just sort of happens. There's no predicting when you will eventually fall for someone and have the desire to create a family of your own. In fact..." He looked up at her, a small smile appearing on his lips.

The children grinned and leaned in even closer.

"...I believe your perfect mate is right around the corner."

Their jaws dropped in unison.

Tigress reeled, a bit uncomfortable with the older tiger's bluntness. "Come on, you're joking. Me?"

"I'm not. Really! Pardon the expression, but I do 'see' something between you and a certain panda..."

Tigress narrowed her eyes. "Okay, now I _know_ you're joking."

Reidak burst out into laughter, not really helping his case. "Like I said, you'll figure it out one way or another. Don't worry about it for now. Just keep on being your normal hardcore self."

She smirked and crossed her arms. "Now _that_ I can agree with."

"Good luck, Master Tigress."

"Likewise, Master Fearless Shadow."

As the two tigers went their separate ways, Caesar, Xavier, and Tianna just continued to stare. It took a few seconds for them to finally pick their jaws up again, and they immediately made use of them.

"That's _it_?!"

"All of that build-up for _that?"_

"What a ripoff!"

* * *

Po was intending to go to Dragon Warrior Noodles & Tofu for a quick bite to eat when he headed out that morning. He wasn't intending to pass by the Shushi Inn, or to see De Lu standing right in front of it, but now that he was here, he couldn't very well just say "whoops" and walk on by. The black wolf was leaving today after all, and this might have been the last chance to clear the air. "...Hi."

"Hi."

Po found himself at a bit of a loss as to where to go from here. "...Just to clarify, no hard feelings, right?"

De Lu smiled. "Dragon Warrior, I thought we settled this in the arena. Don't worry, I hold no more grudge against you. As you would say: we cool."

"Good," Po sighed in relief. "A part of me was still worried you were going to come slit my throat in the night or something."

His mood darkened instantly. "No...I will not do such a thing. Never again."

"Oh right, you used to be an assassin." Po remembered that little tidbit just in time to make this conversation as awkward as possible. And here he was just trying to make a joke. "So what are you going to do now?"

"I'm not sure." He looked off into the distance wistfully. "I've made up with my friends, but they have their own duties now. I can't just hang around here _or_ Lee Da. So I think I'll take some time off, wander the world for a bit. Try to find myself, and atone for the wrongs I have committed."

"That sounds really really cool," Po nodded, impressed. "Exactly what a great hero would do."

He held his paws out in front of him defensively. "Let's not go overboard. I'm no hero."

"Maybe not yet, but that doesn't mean you can't be one. Heck, I bet you already are to those people you helped save at the Trial of Earth."

"You might be right." He grinned at the panda. "Crane was right about you. You really are something special."

"What? No, I'm not really..." He looked away bashfully.

"I rest my case."

Po looked back to find De Lu extending a paw towards him. "Here, Po. One last parting gift."

The panda grabbed hold of his paw and shook it firmly. "To being awesome."

"To being awesome."

"To being awesome!"

From out of nowhere, Xingfu landed on top of both of them.

* * *

Viper searched high and low for Yin Bei, but couldn't find her anywhere. She'd even checked the Shushi Inn, where Bei had been staying. According to the innkeeper, Master Rooster had come to get her checked out and collect her things roughly fifteen minutes before Viper had come in. Surely the hare wouldn't just leave without saying anything?

As she passed by Dragon Warrior Noodles & Tofu, Viper became aware of some odd noises coming from inside. Curious, she looked in.

There were only a few people in the restaurant, but one in particular caught Viper's eye as the source of the noises: A stranger, dressed in a black hooded travelling cloak.

The stranger had already amassed an impressive stack of empty soup bowls. They were eating the soup by tipping the bowl and literally pouring it into their mouth without bothering to use chopsticks. The slurps and grunts the stranger was making as they ate were so loud that they could be heard outside the restaurant.

They finished the last bowl of soup, setting it down with a satisfied sigh. "That was delicious! Thank you!"

Viper's jaw dropped at the familiar voice. "Yin Bei!?"

Bei froze. She turned slowly around, obviously unaware that Viper had been there to see her terrible table manners. "Um…Hi."

Viper started to laugh, making her blush. "How long have you been watching?" the hare asked.

"A few minutes," Viper admitted with a grin. "I was looking for you. The noise kind of drew me here."

Bei groaned, morbidly embarrassed for the second time since meeting the serpent. She hoped this wasn't going to become a pattern.

Viper laughed again. "No worries. You should see Po. He has the record here for eating dumplings."

A look flashed through Bei's eyes, as if she was considering trying to break that record.

Viper's face became stern. "I've been looking all over for you! You weren't planning on just leaving without saying goodbye, were you?"

Beneath the hood, Bei's eyes widened. "Of course not! I just wanted to get something to eat before I went to look for you. I didn't want you to see me eat because…well, you heard."

Viper's stern look dissipated into a smile. "So, what's with the wardrobe change?"

Viper thought she saw Bei flinch, but it was hard to tell through the hood. "Oh, this? This is just my travelling clothes. The hood blocks off my eyesight so that I can at least eat in public. That's how I was able to talk to Mr. Ping."

"Yin Bei!" Master Rooster called from outside. "We need to get going soon if you want to go see Master Viper before we leave." He peeked inside. "Ah. It appears you've already found her. Don't take too much longer. I don't like leaving Bao Zhi and Gishi by themselves for this long." He left them alone to finish their farewell.

They were quiet for a moment. "Well, I guess this is it." Viper said with a sigh.

Bei nodded. "Yeah. I guess so. You can always come and visit. Oh! Before I forget, I made you a bit of a parting gift."

Viper's curiosity was piqued. "Oh? What is it?"

From a pocket in her cloak, Bei produced a scroll and unrolled it. She held it up for Viper to see.

Viper gasped. It was a drawing: a masterful depiction of the fight between Bei and herself in the Trial of Metal. Viper was coiled, ready to strike, while Bei stood back with her shield raised. Both of them were drawn with careful attention to detail, down to the tattoos on Viper's scales.

"It's beautiful!" Viper wrapped herself around Bei in a tight hug. Bei hugged her back just as hard.

An awkward cough came from behind them. They separated to see Rooster standing behind them. "We need to get going," he said apologetically.

Viper nodded, giving Bei one last hug before slithering away. Bei waved goodbye as she left.

"You're blushing," Rooster pointed out.

Bei covered her face with her paws. Beneath them, she was grinning. She didn't deny it.

* * *

"Are you _sure_ he forgave you?"

Monkey looked curiously at a smiling Xingfu as she stood between him and Mantis in the middle of the street. The fox, as usual, seemed to be in her own little world. A world that revolved entirely around the Dragon Warrior.

"Yes, yes, of course. He's Po! He forgives everyone! That's what's so awesome about him!"

"That, and he has experience falling on top of other people, so he can probably empathize," Mantis remarked, shrugging. "So what happened then?"

"Then I gave him a big hug goodbye, and a few kisses, okay a _lot_ of kisses, and I left. Well, he ran away, but he did say goodbye, which I thought was sweet of him."

"The only goodbye worth saying is the final goodbye."

Before they knew what hit them, Zhi Ming had appeared out of nowhere like the dark cloud of negativity that he was.

"Oh great, who invited Mr. Sunshine?" Mantis asked, already in a more sour mood.

"Can you just get out here already?" Monkey backed away nervously, remembering exactly what the emotionally-troubled tortoise had done to him in the Trial of Water. That was _not_ an experience he wanted to go through again.

"You can not simply tell your problems to go away. They will always stick with you." He shook his head and let out a morose sigh. "Always."

Monkey and Mantis looked down and sighed as well, both under his influence already.

"Aww, don't be like that!" Zhi Ming was abruptly lifted off the ground by Xingfu and brought into a forceful hug. "I can make you feel better! You just gotta spend a little time with me, that's all!"

Xingfu skipped away, holding the struggling tortoise tight in her grasp. "No! Your touch is worse than the touch of death, and far less fulfilling! Help me! HELP ME!" Ming yelled, panicking.

Monkey and Mantis stayed where they were, too confused to do much of anything.

"Is there...something going on there?"

"I don't think I wanna know."

"Yeah, me neither."

* * *

"So this is how it ends."

Sitting in the Master's Garden, crouched before the statue of the late Grandmaster Oogway, sat Emperor Huangzu Zihao III. Beside him was Master Shifu, both sitting quietly by candles and incense. "Are you satisfied with the outcome?" Shifu asked.

"Master Crane becoming champion? Of course I am."

"Not that."

"I know." He looked towards him. "But even if it's not the way I originally envisioned it, justice has been served. I am at peace with it now."

Shifu could tell from the lion's tone that he was genuine. "Good. That is the first step to recovery. I am happy you took my advice."

"And you will keep your promise?"

"Naturally. We are already planning a memorial service for those who have lost their lives in this conflict. I will also see what I can do about adding Master Golden Gibbon to our display of heroes. He's done more for the sake of this country than either of us were aware of."

"Excellent." The Emperor nodded in satisfaction. "I will hold my own service for him back at the Imperial City. He deserves to finally be recognized." The lion stood back up. "I should really get back anyway. There's going to be a _lot_ of political dispute to clear up over what's happened here. Not to mention trying to track down the son of a bitch who started this in the first place."

"Language, Your Majesty. That isn't proper," Shifu chided.

"To hell with being proper, we need to get to the bottom of this. We may have stopped Danzaburo, but this daimyo that hired him, that brought such suffering to the tanuki species, I can't just let that go."

"Neither will we. As soon as Danzaburo tells us anything of use, we will let you know."

"So we really have no choice but to rely on him, do we?" He would have once said this with bitterness, but now it was in a joking manner. "Very well then. I will see you when that time comes. Farewell, Grandmaster." He bowed to Shifu, a gesture the red panda still wasn't sure he would ever get used to.

He returned the bow. "Farewell, Son of Heaven."

The lion rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, after all this time, you can't just call me Zihao? Not even once?"

Shifu stiffened, and looked around uneasily, as if worried that Imperial guards were waiting to behead him at any moment.

"Farewell...Zihao."

"That's better."

The Emperor headed down the stairs and walked away, leaving Shifu alone with his thoughts. And they were numerous. He thought about the events of the Wu Xing Tournament, about how his students had performed, about the lives that had been lost, and about what had been gained. Most of all, he thought about what could possibly come from all of this.

He quickly came to the conclusion that he didn't have the slightest idea.

* * *

 _First off, another giant thank you to all the authors who allowed me to use their characters in this story. It feels good to know that you think I did them justice, and so this little send-off chapter is not just to the characters, but to you._

 _The Yin Bei scene was actually not written by me, but by Mind Jack. I made a few minor edits to it, but for the most part, it was all his idea. Yes, the costume is yet another reference to Silence of the Hare. Seriously, you should check that out if you haven't already._

 _It occurs to me that Xingfu has turned into Mei Mei from KFP3. I guess I shouldn't be surprised given how similar they are, it's just something I've noticed. So why did I randomly pair her up with Zhi Ming? I honestly have no better reason than why NOT? I probably won't be using either one of them again, so I figured that I might as well give them a happy ending. God knows the poor tortoise needs it._

 _..._

 _Okay, I guess I better explain that Tigress and Reidak scene, huh? I'll be up front about this: I never once intended for the two of them to hook up. When I first wrote the Russian tiger in, I wanted him to be a comrade and rival to Tigress. That's it. But somewhere along the line, people started shipping them like crazy, and me, being a bit of a troll, started intentionally teasing you just for the heck of it, even though I knew for a fact that it was never going to go anywhere. Apparently I got good at it, because this story somehow ended up in a community for romantic fics! In short, I now feel like a lot of showrunners who end up inspiring shipping without their intent. I'm not sorry about it either. :P_

 _Plenty of footnotes this time. Keep watch for the epilogue._


	41. Epilogue: Departure

_Time to end this thing for real! Despite what I said last time, there's really not much more to cover. Except for one thing:_

 _Yes, there is going to be a sequel. Yes, another one. How many sequels can a man promise before he actually gets around to writing one? Well time will tell I guess, because I'm afraid my next story is not going to be one of them anymore. Now it's not that I MEANT_ _to get your hopes up for nothing, but I've recently gotten a huge stroke of inspiration from elsewhere, thanks to a certain movie that has come out very recently. (And no, it's not KFP3) Sometimes these things just happen._

 _I hope you enjoy my next story regardless. You should, it also involves talking animals. ;)_

* * *

Epilogue: Departure

It wouldn't be long now.

Danzaburo sat cross-legged in his cell, awaiting his next visitor. Only a week had passed since the end of the Wu Xing Tournament and already he had been through Grandmaster Shifu and all of the Furious Five, each one expecting an uphill battle in getting him to spill anything, and each one being shocked when he spilled absolutely everything. It was perhaps the most pointless interrogation in recorded history. With barely any prompting, the tanuki went into a series of long-winded and somewhat narcissistic retellings of all of his past missions, the information he had gathered from them, even the previous lives he had claimed. Most importantly, he told them about the man who had been the cause of all of it.

He would never say so out in the open, but it felt good to confess all of his past sins like that. He had lived a life of secrecy and deception for so long that he hadn't even noticed the weight on his shoulders until it was finally removed. And even though most of his visitors had reacted with pure hatred and disgust, at least he was finally being honest with someone. What they did with that knowledge was up to them.

It was all the panda's fault of course. Po was naturally his most frequent visitor, and the one whose company he preferred over anyone else. Again, not something he showed out in the open. Giving information was one thing. He had done that for most of his life, with the only difference now being who received it. But emotions were a different story. Getting around those many years of training and conditioning was not easy, especially since a part of him was still convinced that he shouldn't be showing emotion at all, that it somehow made him less competent. Despite that, the Dragon Warrior had proven the most adept at breaking through that shell, and the tanuki even found himself chuckling along with his captor's latest tales of kung fu heroism.

A fascinating creature indeed.

So while Danzaburo remained in that singular sitting position, his face a complete stoic mask, he was very much looking forward to what Dragon-sama would share with him today.

His first indication that something was wrong came when he heard loud shouting coming from down the hall. Not the exuberant shouting of a panda coming to see his "little spy buddy", but the horrified screams of multiple people being brutally massacred. He knew very well what that sounded like.

The two antelope guards standing outside his cell didn't seem so sure. "What was that?" one of them asked fearfully.

"We better go check it out."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Danzaburo advised.

The first guard glared at him. "No one asked you. Stay here!"

"Am I expected to go anywhere else?"

Ignoring him, they both filed out of the room to join their comrades in the hallway. The tanuki shrugged. He tried. It wasn't like anyone could blame _him_ for this mess regardless. Even as he heard the two guards get ripped apart outside, he remained unconcerned. As far as he saw it, the worst case scenario was that this mystery attacker would try breaking into his cell to get to him, allowing him the chance to gather information and possibly escape. Hardly a terrible outcome.

But when he saw two figures in black cloaks bust down his door, he got a better idea of exactly what he was dealing with, and he suddenly found himself a bit apprehensive.

Not that he gave them the satisfaction of seeing it. He spoke in his usual monotone, with just a hint of bitterness. "That was fast. Umi no Masuta must have gotten impatient." He saw the hooded figures look to each other. "That's right. I already told them the Daimyo's name. I already told them everything. I'm afraid you just weren't fast _enough_." Danzaburo smirked at them, greatly enjoying their stunned silence. "So go ahead and try to kill me if you wish. It will do your master no good now."

"What are you talking about?"

The voice was distinctly feminine, and very confused. Not what he was expecting.

"...You were sent to this country to assassinate me...were you not?" Danzaburo asked, now quite confused himself. He hated being caught off-guard like this, an unfortunate side effect of being stuck in one place for too long.

"This country?"

"By the Daimyo!" He clenched his teeth in frustration.

"We're not Japanese, you idiot," the other stranger cut in. It sounded like another woman, but much gruffer.

"Then what are you?"

The nicer one walked up to the glass of his cell and stared down at him through glowing eyes. "We are your worst nightmares come to life. The deadly shadows who lurk in the night. The feline demons. The wicked wenches. The-"

"We're the Wu Sisters."

"WING!" She pulled down her hood, revealing the face of a clouded leopard with golden eyes. He noticed that some of her grey fur was turning even greyer as she stared incredulously at her sister. "What the hell?! I was trying to build up an air of mystery here!"

Wing pulled down her hood as well, growling back at her. "Your 'air of mystery' had him thinking we were Japanese assassins. Excuse me for wanting to cut to the chase, Wan."

"Technically, he was _half_ right," Wan grumbled to herself.

"These stupid cloaks were your idea anyway. It's not like anyone even recognizes us anymore, so-"

Danzaburo cleared his throat. "Excuse me, I'm still here you know." The Wu Sisters turned to face him, both looking annoyed by the interruption. "I _have_ heard about you if it makes you feel better. The Wu Sisters, a trio of clouded leopard assassins who were once among the most notorious criminals in China." They smiled. "But who are now just a trio of washed-up hasbeens."

"Who are you calling hasbeens?!" Wing raised her claws to attack him, a futile effort as she would never get through the thick glass, but was stopped by Wan.

"Woah there! Let's not kill the guy we're here to recruit."

"Recruit?" The tanuki titled his head, curious. "Recruit me for what?"

Wing took a deep breath to calm herself, though still fixed him with an icy glare. "As you said, we've been out of the game for a long time. _Too_ long. But that is going to change very soon."

Wan grinned at him, showing off her sharp fangs. "Yep! The three of us are forming a criminal syndicate."

"Isn't that what you tried to do last time?" Danzaburo asked, unimpressed.

"We did it wrong last time," Wing explained. "We made our move too quickly, practically announcing our intentions to the world. It's no wonder those street-fighting imbeciles came to stop us."

"That's what Su said, anyway." Wing shot a glare at her younger sister, which she either failed to notice or simply ignored. "So this time we're trying to...to...dang, how did she phrase it again?"

There was a puff of white smoke, and suddenly a perfect replica of a younger Su Wu stood on the other side of the glass. "This time we're going to do this carefully. We will build up the syndicate slowly, and from scratch, bringing in only those who prove themselves capable. It will take a long time, but the end result will be well worth it, dear sisters, once all of China kneels before us!" He turned back to normal. "Is that about right? My info on you three is a bit out of date."

Wing narrowed her eyes. "Oh, I see he's a comedian too."

"He's perfect!" Wan doubled over, losing herself in giggle fits. "Do Wing next!"

"Don't you dare-!"

"What, you don't think this is flattering?!" a copy of Wing yelled back. "How about I rearrange your face so you don't look anything like me! Would that make you happy?!"

Wan put a paw on the glass to steady herself through her laughter. "Now do me!"

"Geez, why do you have to be so uptight, Wing? Don't make me pin you down and tickle you again."

Wing looked mortified. "How do you know she does that?!"

"Stop it! Stop it!" Wan begged, so hysterical that she was struggling to breathe.

"Yeah, that's what you sounded like!"

"Enough with your games!" Wing roared, pounding a fist on the glass. "We don't have all night, and frankly, we've got plenty of recruits already. So what's it gonna be, raccoon-dog?"

Choosing to ignore the derogatory slur, Danzaburo returned to his normal form and sat back down, in the same position he was in before any of this even happened. "It's an answer you want? Why didn't you just say so?" He paused for a moment, staring at them blankly. "The answer is no."

"What?!"

"I'm not going to jump from one sinking ship to another. I have already pledged my loyalty to Dragon-sama and his friends, and I will not betray them." His ear twitched as he heard a commotion from down the hall. "Speaking of which, you should probably leave now."

"No," Wing said darkly, unsheathing her claws. "We did not come all the way here for nothing. If you're not gonna join us, we'll just have to settle for killing your precious 'Dragon-sama'." She turned around and started towards the hall.

Wan was quick to follow after her. "Hold on, that wasn't part of the plan."

"Screw the plan. That panda's death is only going to help us in the long run anyway."

"I can't let you do that."

The Wu Sisters stopped as they suddenly found Danzaburo standing in their way.

Wan looked over her shoulder at the empty cell, and then back again, gaping at him. "When did you figure out how to escape?"

"About three days ago."

Smoke filled the room as Danzaburo turned into a massive gorilla, completely blocking their way. "If you wish to harm Dragon-sama, you will have to go through me first." He smiled and cracked his knuckles. "Thanks for telling me about your secret criminal syndicate by the way. I'm impressed that you managed to hide a secret even from me, but perhaps it should have _stayed_ a secret until I actually agreed to join. Nice to see that Su still does all of the thinking for you. "

The two sisters brandished their claws and hissed in unison. "Out of our way," Wing threatened.

"Hey, what's going on in here?! This place is a mess!" As was often the case, Po chose the worst possible time to come in. Barreling around the corner, the panda failed to watch where he was going and crashed right into Danzaburo's backside. The spy, not actually being as sturdy as a gorilla, toppled like a stack of cards, shifting back into his original form instantly.

"Well that makes things easier," Wan giggled. The felines readied their claws and charged in from two sides.

"Woah! You guys are the Wu Sisters! That's so awesome!" Wing and Wan froze in her tracks, staring down at the wide-eyed panda as he continued to gush at them. "I was just telling my friends about you a little while ago! This is like a dream come true!"

"Hold on there big guy, I'm already spoken for," Wan said, a bit uncomfortable.

In the time Po unwittingly bought them, Danzaburo slipped out from underneath and stood back up, dragging the panda to his feet as well. "You can ask how I got out later," he said, answering Po's first question before he could ask it. "Right now, we need to get rid of these two."

"Oh yeah? You think it will be that easy?" Wing growled and got into her leopard stance, joined by Wan.

At that moment, a loud bell rang throughout the Valley.

"Actually, I'm thinking yes," Wan said worriedly. "Su's gonna be real mad if we get too involved right now."

Wing snarled in rage and stomped her foot, glaring at the panda and tanuki. "This isn't over! The Wu Syndicate is already up and running! You can't stop us!" She withdrew several small pellets and threw them to the ground, shrouding the two in smoke.

"See ya later," Wan waved cheerfully as the smoke concealed them and disappeared, the Wu Sisters along with it.

Po shivered. "That girl's personality is way too familiar to be comfortable with." Finally registering the spy's presence, Po turned to face him. "Seriously, what the heck is going on here?"

Danzaburo looked up at him and smiled slyly. "I've got good news and bad news for you, Dragon-sama. The bad news is that I need a new cell. The good news is that I have plenty of information for you this time."

* * *

 _They're baaaaaaack._

 _I wonder how many people are actually going to understand all of this._


End file.
